There can't be a Harvest Moon in the RimWorld.

Chapter 585 The Dwarfs' Tea Party

The House of the Dwarfs

This room is filled with everyday objects shrunk to half their original size. Whether it's a drinking cup, a rice bowl, a long table, or the chair we sit on, everything has a comical sense of refinement—for example, using a coffee spoon to eat rice from a teacup, isn't that comical enough?

These Hilichurls, however, place great emphasis on taste. To demonstrate their pursuit of flamboyant aesthetics, they go to great lengths to decorate everything in sight, even covering the beams of their houses with incomprehensible paintings.

"Carter, is this food really edible?"

I sat upright in a chair the size of a child—or at best a stool—and asked the priest next to me, who was sitting at ease.

Father Carter gathered the hem of his priest's robe to avoid tripping the busy little people in the room, then, without turning his head, told me in a barely audible voice, "Just eat in peace, eat more and talk less..."

I asked him somewhat nervously, "But won't your conscience hurt? How do you plan to tell them that the people in town don't actually know these little guys exist?"

Carter's usually calm face contorted as if he'd been shot.

"Don't say this out loud!"

He picked up the small teacup and took a small sip, his hand trembling slightly, perhaps due to nervousness.

“At first, I only planned to keep them here for a while, and then send them away once I found a suitable location. You know, the old church behind the main church has been abandoned for so long, it’s useless to keep it, so it’s better to renovate and utilize it…”

I bluntly called him out: "But you seem to be using this quite skillfully, even daring to use the excuse that the neighbors are strict and don't easily accept you. These kids may be simple-minded, but they're not stupid. It's a miracle they've been fooled by you for so long, isn't it?"

To cover up one mistake, you need countless mistakes to make up for it; to maintain one lie, you need countless lies to cover it up. This guy always likes to play petty tricks, take advantage of others, and spare no effort in being cunning and sly. I want to see how he gets out of this mess.

Carter put down his cup and suddenly looked at me intently. "You've been free lately, haven't you?"

I immediately sensed a conspiracy and righteously refused, "Don't count on me! I'm already busy teaching the kids every day, and that kappa is a big problem too. Don't even think about turning the ranch into a church nursery!"

Father Carter chuckled, “You can’t say that. Taking care of these Hilichurls will do you good too. They’re all experienced gardeners, cooks, and growers—you can tell by how long I’ve been eating here. If you help me cover up this lie, I’ll let them help out on your ranch, how about that?”

"Wait a minute, I sense a conspiracy... Let me think about it..."

While we were still chatting, the little people had already brought out the food, categorized by type. It was mostly prepared fruits and vegetables, with almost no meat in sight, but the colors were varied, which was quite in line with their habit of liking bright and colorful dishes.

Seven Hilichurls sat opposite us. We looked at each other in silence, then nervously focused our gazes on me.

"Uh...you guys eat too, don't just stare at me..."

I felt very uncomfortable being stared at, especially by these Guo Bit people. I kept feeling like they wanted to give me a pass card with a room key or something, which made me very uneasy.

As soon as I spoke, the dwarves sensed my discomfort and finally stopped staring at me—they all turned their heads to stare at Father Carter!

Carter remained unfazed by the stares and said with a smile, "Don't be nervous, relax."

He gestured towards me, "Little people, this is a master chef and planting expert I invited from town. With his guidance, you will definitely be able to pass the residents' test and obtain the right to live in town."

Although I really wanted to complain about what the right to reside was—is the right to reside in this godforsaken place equivalent to exile? Are they planning to confiscate my Moscow property and give me a villa in the suburbs of Siberia instead? But I decided to wait and see what Carter was really up to.

Upon hearing this, the person across the table became excited. The dwarf in blue and yellow clothes immediately clapped his hands and muttered something like "three-year test" and "time is up."

...Is the next line to respectfully invite the Dragon King to return to his throne and let the Lin family of the capital be wiped out?

"What exactly did you brainwash me about?"

Carter then whispered in their ear, trying to mask the noise, "Shh... I told them that every three years there's a test vote in town, and if they fail, they'll be expelled..."

I gasped: "You really dare to tell such a big lie... Are you planning to get everyone in town to help you cover it up?"

Carter said with a forced smile, "No need... but you're here, and I have a brilliant plan..."

After saying that, he coughed lightly, raised his teacup and said to me, "Marcus, try this tea and see if you find anything special about it?"

Carter had been sipping his tea constantly since earlier, and I assumed he was trying to hide his nervousness. But why bring this up now? Is there something special about this tea?

I looked at the clear, pale green tea in the cup, took a careful sniff, but didn't detect a particularly strong aroma, so I picked up the cup and took a small sip...

…………

In my memory, drinking tea should be a very elegant thing. Drinking tea should be done under a tiled roof and paper window, with clear spring water and green tea, using simple and elegant ceramic utensils, with two or three people, enjoying half a day of leisure, which is worth ten years of worldly dreams.

If you are enjoying it alone, it should be in the hazy night, with the faint scent of lilac, watching the quiet tranquility flowing in the clear water of a cup of green tea, letting time linger in the room, drifting between light and dark.

But the tea that the dwarves served gave me a feeling I had never experienced before.

When the tea touched my lips, I felt the taste of spring.

This feeling is hard to describe. If I had to make an analogy, it would be like the vibrant life one feels in the prime of youth, like the exuberant vitality of spring, like tender green grass and leaves. The fragrance of this tea is filled with the essence of nature, causing that little sprout in my heart, yearning to grow, to quietly and spontaneously sprout…

"Excellent tea! I would call it green tea!"

This tea is truly exceptional; its subtle flavor is so captivating that it leaves you wanting more, much like the irresistible, refreshing taste of first love with green tea.

Carter nodded slightly to the dwarf and introduced, "This 'leisure tea' is a variety that the dwarfs only cultivated last year, and it took them a lot of effort!"

Then he turned to the dwarves and said, "Congratulations, you have achieved initial success!"

The little dwarves wriggled excitedly and asked in unison, "Carter, can we go out and say hello to the residents now? Our teapots are itching to get out!"

Upon hearing this topic, Carter immediately panicked and quickly stopped the dwarves who were about to celebrate, "No, no, no... well... although your preparations are effective, I think... I think there are still flaws! We can't go out now!"

But his words sounded weak and unconvincing. I watched him suffer a setback with a secret smug satisfaction, eager to see how this big liar would be exposed.

Sure enough, the dwarves became dissatisfied and started making a fuss, determined to go out and deliver the carefully cultivated tea leaves to the town's residents.

Carter, caught in a dilemma, immediately stood up, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling of the low-ceilinged room.

"Wait a moment!"

He stunned everyone with his opening statement, then said to the dwarves, "To be sure of victory, you must first defeat Marcus!"

The dwarfs asked, "Why?"

Carter forced a smile and explained, "Uh... Marcus is the newest resident in town! His skill level is the bar for you! If you can't surpass him, you can forget about gaining recognition!"

After he finished speaking, he looked at me with pleading eyes.

I turned to the side and mouthed, from an angle where the dwarf couldn't see, "I won't do it if there's no benefit to it."

Carter gritted his teeth and thought for a moment, then mouthed back, "The alchemy book will be yours right away."

"make a deal!"

I patted him on the shoulder with a smile, then turned to the dwarves and said, "Indeed, your breeding techniques are powerful, but they are still far behind mine."

The little dwarf in red retorted defiantly, "Impossible! Our planting techniques are unparalleled!"

I then said, "There's no point in arguing like this; we should let our skills speak for themselves. Crop cultivation takes too much time, so I'll demonstrate my weakest skill—cooking—and show you where the difference lies!"

The little dwarf in purple, who looked quite naive, said with concern, "If your cooking skills are the weakest, isn't this comparison unfair to you? Let's compete in crop cultivation instead..."

Father Carter then promptly offered his assistance, saying, "I think it's a good idea! If you can't even beat his weakest skill, cooking, then there's no point in competing in farming!"

The dwarfs all nodded in agreement: "That makes sense!"

I suddenly felt a headache coming on—given the intelligence of these Hilichurls, getting them to believe the truth would be the hardest thing for me, right?

"So what dish do you want to make?" The chef in the yellow shirt from the dwarfs stepped forward.

Carter and I exchanged a confident glance, then I turned and gave him a wicked, arrogant smile.

Have you ever heard of 'simple food'?

…………

Even though the dwarves who moved to the island had superb culinary skills and excellent crop varieties, their food preparation was still limited by the availability of ingredients and seasonings. They mainly made stews, roasts, and boils, with simple methods and bland flavors.

In this situation, all the food tastes like its original flavor, so there won't be much innovation or breakthrough. Even the most expensive matsutake mushrooms on the table taste bland.

In this situation, the appearance of "simple food" undoubtedly dealt a devastating blow, instantly turning these little guys into cowards. They waved their spoons around, devouring the tasteless yet irresistible food, their expressions contorted as if they were facing their father's killer—and then, without a doubt, they all ate until they were stuffed.

At their repeated requests, I made an extra "simple food" for them as a research subject. It seemed that the yellow-clothed Gulidi really wanted to study this magical food in order to replicate my success.

All I can say is that if you're going in the wrong direction, the more effort you put in, the more futile it will be.

But that didn't stop me from accepting the tea they gave me in exchange for some leisure tea. At least Carter and I both achieved our goals and left the dwarfs' house happily.

After leaving the church, I made an excuse to send Cliff away and headed straight for the library on the second floor of the police station.

Having obtained the alchemy books, my first thought was naturally to concentrate on reading them, and the best place was undoubtedly the library!

"Mary, stop hiding in the corner decorating your plants! There's something good here, come and see!"

As soon as I walked in, I saw the Akali girl leaning against the wall with a book in her hand. Her invisibility was off the charts. If she hadn't yet developed optical camouflage, I probably wouldn't have been able to find her even after I entered the room.

The girl was engrossed in her reading when I suddenly interrupted her. A little bewildered, she asked, "Huh? What is it?"

I picked up the cloth bag in my hand. "Bring some hot water, have a cup first!"

As wisps of smoke rose, the afternoon sun leisurely filled the room. A cup of fragrant green tea, refreshing and invigorating, brought a variety of wonderful enjoyments and endless aftertaste; it was like a pair of beautiful and magical wings, allowing me to soar freely in the azure sky outside the glass window.

The two nestled on the sofa facing each other, letting out a satisfied sigh in unison, as if all their fatigue had vanished.

"Aren't you going to ask me where this tea came from?" I asked.

But Mary, immersed in a state of relaxed comfort, said, "It's nothing important. I'm just glad you're willing to share such good tea with me..."

I opened the book in my hand, leaned back, and tried to find the most comfortable position. "I remember you love tea, so of course I have to show my appreciation for reading in your esteemed space this time."

Mary poured me some tea, opened the sunny window, and let the warm breeze caress my face and tousle her hair. "In that case... I'll allow you to disturb me for a moment."

The girl from Akarin sat in front of me, holding a book that only bore the words "Fictional Literary Creation" on its cover.

I asked, "Mary, what are you doing bringing so many books here?"

"My mentor said I've read enough and suggested I try creating some novel literary works that I've never done before, but I haven't found my direction yet..."

She lowered the book slightly. "My mentor only mentioned these things. He didn't talk about the subject matter, content, or genre. I'm really struggling to figure out what exactly constitutes novel literature."

I asked curiously, "What kind of topic is this? Doesn't that mean you can just write anything? Isn't 'any subject matter' usually an exception, except for poetry?"

Mary shook her head, probably feeling she couldn't continue reading, and started chatting with me instead.

"No, I feel that my supervisor hopes that I can go beyond what I have read and do some thinking that has not been done before."

...Isn't this just about having a wild imagination? What's so difficult about that? As a peculiar man whose imagination is so vast that there are holes all over his neck, this is no challenge for me at all.

"Tell me your current thoughts, and perhaps I can offer some advice."

I volunteered.

Chapter 586 Regarding the matter of me being the protagonist of a novel, yet also becoming the protagonist of another novel.