Do I really have a thing for female voice actors?

I seem to have been a somewhat strange child since childhood.

My father was a famous entrepreneur, and my mother was a violinist.

According to the family housekeeper, her mother used to hold concerts overseas for many years and was a well-known violinist.

Since getting married, she has never played the violin in front of outsiders again.

However, my father was busy with official duties and rarely had the opportunity to be a listener.

And so, I became her only audience.

I still remember my mother's piano playing.

At the time, I was still young and didn't understand the emotions contained in the music.

I simply found it incredibly beautiful, so I kept pestering my mother to play the violin for me day after day.

It might be due to exposure to it from a young age, or perhaps it's something they were born with.

For me, playing the piano and composing music is like eating and drinking; when I'm hungry, I need to eat, and when I feel tired, I need to sleep.

Music is the same principle for me.

I wasn't curious about any of the toys, adventures, or friendships that my peers longed for; I simply immersed myself in my own world.

No matter who came or went, it remained completely unmoved.

I don't have much of an impression of my parents' relationship. It's only as I've grown older that I've come to understand that there wasn't a particularly deep bond between them.

They married because of family reasons.

This is roughly what people commonly refer to as a marriage alliance.

But I also heard from the housekeeper that my mother truly loved my father.

At that time, I didn't understand the meaning of that sentence.

As the only son in the family, I have enjoyed the benefits of a privileged family background since birth.

Incredibly, I didn't care about these things at all when I was a child.

They never even secretly hoped that they could be as loving and intimate as ordinary couples.

More than these things, I care about how to play the piano more beautifully, and how to transform the bizarre and fantastical scenes in my mind into melodies in reality.

Looking back now, I am suddenly struck by the realization.

Ah, so I have been incredibly arrogant ever since then.

I still remember that on my fifth birthday, my mother gave me a piano.

It wasn't a particularly expensive piano, and I've long forgotten what that piano sounded like. I only remember feeling incredibly happy at the time, playing it for a whole afternoon.

I wish I could spread the bedding on the piano and sleep with it.

Let it see the beautiful dream I had tonight.

……

……

Tazaki Toru was born into a middle-class family in Tokyo. They were not extremely wealthy, but they were certainly happy and content.

Like most ordinary children, Toru Tazaki was born into the world amidst the blessings and hopes of his parents.

"What a lovely child."

"He'll definitely become a handsome guy who will charm countless girls in the future."

When Yuriko Tazaki, a new mother, hears others praising her child in such a way, she always shows a gentle and loving smile.

"I don't expect him to become a popular person. As long as this child can grow up safely and healthily, it will be an immense blessing."

For ordinary people like them, happiness and good health are all they need.

He doesn't need to achieve anything spectacular, nor does he need to be forced to bear the expectations of his family.

Just become the kind of person he wants to be, and that's enough.

"Oh my~~ Toru-kun, you really love the guitar, do you want to become a guitarist in the future?"

Yuriko Tazaki smiled broadly as she watched her child repeatedly reach out with his small, tender hands toward the guitar in the corner.

Naturally, as an infant, Toru Tazaki had no idea what a guitar was; he was simply curious about something that made beautiful sounds.

……

……

I have won countless gold medals in piano competitions, and my huge study at home can no longer hold all those gleaming trophies.

As I get older, the differences between me and my peers become more and more apparent.

They differ in personality, talent, and interests.

While my peers were playing and exploring the world with boundless curiosity, I was playing the piano and composing music.

As they held their parents' hands, waved goodbye to their school friends, and said "See you tomorrow."

I am playing the piano and composing music.

While my mother lay in the intensive care unit at home, her body covered in cold tubes.

I'm still playing the piano and composing music.

They said that the mother had an incurable disease.

No amount of money could buy back a long life, so I could spend more time with my mother.

But I still play the piano and compose music.

It's not that I'm not close to my mother.

On the contrary, my passion for music must have been inherited from her.

She had absolutely no connection with her father, who spent his days running around handling company affairs and circling the Pacific Ocean in his private jet.

Even so, I still find it hard to leave the piano.

As a child, I also had naive fantasies that were appropriate for my age.

"Mom loves listening to you play the piano."

"After listening to the song you wrote, Mom feels much better."

A transparent sunroom was built in the spacious garden, so that my mother could always see me playing the piano inside.

At the tender age of eight, I naively believed that I was a genius prodigy who amazed the world, capable of shaking all illnesses with the power of my piano playing.

in case……

If I could write a piece that would move even Death, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment even if it meant cutting off all my fingers.

But if Death is so merciful, he may leave me two.

I still want to hold her hand.

As my mother's condition worsened, I became increasingly engrossed in playing the piano, hoping to make a deal with death through the ethereal sounds of the instrument.

He refused.

It was only when my mother lay down in the coffin, which was as lifeless as a deep well, that I realized this for the first time.

It turns out I'm not a genius.

……

……

The happy times did not last long.

Tazaki Toru was unable to speak until he was two years old.

Whenever his parents tried to communicate with him, he would stare blankly at the wall, as if there was something on the other side of the wall that fascinated him.

Only when his mother picked up that old, yellowed wooden guitar and played a few simple children's songs would he react, his beautiful eyes fixed on the trembling strings.

The Tazaki family emptied their pockets to treat their young child.

Money, emotions, dignity.

……Home.

Debt collectors came to the door again and again, smashing everything that could be called "intact" with metal batons.

The parents pressed their heads against the cold floor, while Tazaki Toru remained unmoved, staring at the wall, oblivious to the world around him.

There wasn't even a cry or a shout.

Every heated argument, and the despair and deathly silence that followed, were completely insufficient to capture his attention; they were not even as appealing as that old, worn-out guitar.

And then, that day came.

……

……

After my mother passed away, at my father's suggestion, I completed the most basic education.

After that, he made his own decision and chose to study in the UK.

The Royal Academy of Music in London, which was my mother's alma mater.

Although it was my first time setting foot on that land, I felt a sense of familiarity and nostalgia.

Looking back now, I think it was around that time that my personality changed.

I have shed my youthful arrogance, and no matter how others praise me, I take the praise that I once took for granted as a way to spur myself on.

"The youngest student ever admitted," "A 13-year-old academician-level pianist."

I always remember that I am not a genius.

He's just an ordinary person who can play a little piano and write a few songs.

But looking back now, I realize that I had only thought I had shed my arrogance.

In reality, they've just changed their arrogant ways without realizing it.