Don't farm, cultivate immortality!

Don't farm, cultivate immortality!

Author: Dragon Fruit Tycoon

Summary:

There are monsters, Taoist magic, and all kinds of living beings. This is just a lighthearted and enjoyable story of a child growing up slowly in such an extraordinary world.

(Keywords: farming, management, folklore, monsters, legends)

Chapter 1 is born!

When Zhuang Xing opened his eyes, he found himself transformed into a newborn baby.

He tried to observe his surroundings through the hazy light and vaguely saw a woman with disheveled hair and sweat beading on her forehead smiling.

The woman looked to be in her early twenties, with long, jet-black hair tied up and draped over her chest. She was wearing a retro gray robe and breathing rapidly.

She reached out and stroked Zhuang Xing's face.

As an infant, Zhuang Xing had a premonition that this was his mother.

But he had no mind to observe his mother. His airway felt blocked and uncomfortable. It felt like his whole head was submerged in water. He tried to breathe, but all he could feel was water choking his nose.

He couldn't speak; the baby could only make a bunch of meaningless whimpering sounds. But besides language, he could also express his inner thoughts with body movements. He waved his arms and legs, trying his best to move his weak limbs. However, a newborn baby simply didn't have the strength to do things that used to be easy for him.

He felt extremely uncomfortable, unable to breathe, and his limbs gradually drooped down; he no longer had the strength to struggle.

Just then, he was lifted up by another pair of hands, and then a strong hand slapped his buttocks hard.

With a loud crack, a burning pain shot through my anus.

He involuntarily opened his mouth wide and cried out incoherently; it was an instinctive reaction, and that's how he breathed his first breath of fresh air.

Before he could even feel happy, he felt a chill down his groin.

"Congratulations, it's a healthy boy."

An aged voice reached his ears, and through a hazy, misty vision, he saw an old woman with a face full of wrinkles.

This was probably the midwife who delivered him. He was being carried around by the old woman, completely naked. He estimated that there should be a large handprint on his buttocks, and he hoped it wouldn't remain as a birthmark.

While observing the old woman, he glanced down and breathed a sigh of relief.

Fortunately, the sword of victory oath has not yet been broken.

But where exactly is this place?

He strained to open his eyes, trying to see the place more clearly. To his left was a wooden window supported by bamboo joints, through which sunlight streamed in.

Outside the window was the rustling bamboo forest. His gaze swept over the small mud-brick house, but he didn't see anything that looked like an electrical appliance. There weren't even any wires or light bulbs. The house was very simple, with nothing more than a bed and a cabinet.

What a shabby house! You can't even find any appliances.

Did he violate the heavenly rules and get banished to the mortal realm to be reincarnated?

It must be because of the wrong way you got out of bed.

He closed his eyes, silently counted to ten, and then opened them again.

Well, nothing has changed.

While he was pondering this, the old woman handed him over to his mother.

The sweat-drenched face gently rubbed against his left cheek.

His long hair hung down, tickling him.

He shuddered, realizing something:

—He probably did indeed become this woman's child.

...

A month later, Zhuang Xing fully realized the reality.

He had a new home: a basket woven from bamboo.

He looked up from inside the bamboo basket, which was about half a meter deep.

An unfamiliar ceiling...

No... it's the familiar ceiling.

His mother wrapped him tightly in strips of cloth, making him feel like a silkworm, and that he might grow wings in a few days.

It is said that silkworms melt into liquid and recombine while inside the cocoon, and even nerve cells redifferentiate. It's really scary to think about. Are the moth that grows wings and the fat worm that is a pupa really the same individual?

Is he, now that he's turned into a baby again, the same person as before?

Forget it, there's no point in thinking about it so much.

Zhuang Xing yawned and prepared to close his eyes. There was so little a baby could do. When he was awake, he could only daydream and contemplate philosophy. In the past month, he had been thinking about everything from the Big Bang to the concept of a community with a shared future for mankind. At first, he was very enthusiastic and planned to write a book like "The Republic" in the future, but that idea had already vanished from his mind.

What's the point of thinking so much? You might as well go to sleep.

Suddenly, a surging sensation came from his lower body. He knew what it was; he needed to urinate. As an infant, he could only feel that he needed to urinate, but he could not control whether he urinated or not. It was beyond his control. What truly controlled this was his unsheathed holy sword.

Perhaps, it's not that he has a holy sword, but that he himself has grown onto the holy sword.

"Wow wow wow!"

He immediately cried out for help and let out a loud wail.

Red alert! Requesting rescue!

This trick usually works. In the past, when he cried, his mother would run from the yard to help him with the potty. But today was a little strange; he didn't hear the familiar footsteps.

No one came, so he naturally urinated in his pants.

It felt like being wrapped in warmth and moisture. I experienced what it's like to wet my pants again after a long time. Not bad... just kidding!

Zhuang Xing wriggled and looked outside the yard, but he couldn't see his mother. There was no sound at all; it seemed she really wasn't home.

It seems my mother has gone out.

Because he spent most of his time sleeping, Zhuang Xing didn't know when his mother left. Perhaps she came into the room to say goodbye, but he didn't hear it.

Zhuang Xing felt a little uneasy, but there was nothing he could do. His body's functions were not yet fully developed, and he was unable to break free from the cloth.

He wished there was another person to take care of him, but it seemed like only he and his mother were at home. He hadn't seen anyone who looked like his father, at least not in the past month.

I don't know what the situation is, whether it's divorce or separation.

Please be more understanding. It's already very hard for a woman to raise a child and support herself. There will inevitably be emergencies that prevent her from taking time off. Please bear with her for now. A baby's life is incomplete without wetting their pants. Who hasn't had a baby poop in their pants at some point?

As he thought about it, drowsiness crept in, and his eyelids began to droop. Zhuang Xing cleared his mind, imagining the warm, wet sensation between his legs as if he were soaking in a natural hot spring, and then he fell asleep.

...

When I opened my eyes again, it was completely dark.

Zhuang Xing heard the sound of heavy rain. There was lightning and thunder outside the window, and the bamboo forest was bent by the wind with a whooshing sound, like the wailing of a female ghost.

The wooden window creaked open, and raindrops drifted into the room, landing on Zhuang Xing's face. The roof was also leaking, and water dripped down the walls, making a soft, ticking sound like the ticking of a second hand.

Zhuang Xing looked around but didn't see his mother in the house; it seemed she hadn't returned yet.

Are they trapped by the heavy rain?

Hopefully nothing unexpected will happen.

Zhuang Xing was a little annoyed. The rain hitting his face was a minor matter, but when he looked up at the ceiling, he seemed to see the roof beams shaking.

With such a strong wind and rain, I don't know if this thatched and mud-brick house can withstand it. If the house collapses... I hope he can have another chance to innovate.

He desperately wanted to break free of his swaddling clothes, but his small body simply couldn't provide the strength.

Damn it, why can't I move!

Let me out of here right now!

These strips of cloth wrapped him in three layers, inside and out. Even an adult would have difficulty escaping under the same circumstances, let alone an infant.

It seems that all we can do is wait for our mother to return.

But the longer he waited, the more anxious he became. He couldn't help but start having wild thoughts. He wondered if it was because he was yelling all day that his mother was annoyed and was going to throw him out of the house.

Perhaps when Zhuang Xing wakes up tomorrow morning, he will find himself placed in a wooden tub, experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime thrill ride through the rapids.

Looking back on the past month, he realized he had caused a lot of trouble. He really wanted to be a useful baby, like Nezha, who could jump and leap from birth and punch his father, who could catch a blade with his bare hands, into the wall. But in reality, he was just a Teletubby who needed his mother to eat, drink, and relieve himself.

No wonder children cry so loudly when you tell them their parents don't want them anymore. Now he understands that a child has no control over their own life, and that's truly frightening.

Just as he was becoming anxious, a thunderous roar erupted.

He was startled by the thunder, and the swaying shadows of the bamboo forest cast in front of him looked like menacing monsters.

This atmosphere is truly terrifying. According to the plot, a dark and damp ghost should crawl in here, and when the mother returns, she will find that her child has disappeared and become involved in a series of bizarre events.

As luck would have it, he was that unlucky kid.

Zhuang Xing felt a chill run down his spine. The place was too dark, and the house he was staying in was the kind of old house that "rural teachers" loved.

He shrank his head further into the swaddling clothes, complaining that the cloth wasn't wrapped tightly enough and that his head had to be sticking out.

A blanket that you can't cover your head with isn't a good blanket!

He swallowed hard and looked out the window.

I always feel like something might crawl in through the window, like a female ghost with hair like seaweed, or a pale little boy who likes to squat in bed.

There are also hopping zombies dressed in official robes. I remember watching a zombie movie before, where a heavy rain caused a zombie in a coffin to escape and bite people everywhere.

He didn't think about it and nothing happened, but once he started thinking about it, he couldn't stop. All sorts of ghosts and monsters appeared in front of him. He regretted that he had made the "No One Is Afraid of Challenges" with his college roommate back then.

Having watched too many horror movies, his imagination was exceptionally vivid at that moment.

Amitabha Buddha, Holy Mary, may this be done hastily...

Demons and monsters, get out of here! Demons and monsters, get out of here!

Zhuang Xing's hair stood on end. He heard a faint sound coming from the corner, as if something was hidden there.

Could there really be something dirty inside...?

Calm down, calm down, there are no ghosts in this world!