The comments section all think I'm a really good person.

In no more than ten minutes, the videotape, which was said to be "only viewable with a new machine," was played on the television screen.

[Ah Yuan can fix things after all!]

[Then why did we have the CEO buy another one?]

【No, didn't A-Yuan just confidently say that this machine was unusable?】

[Don't you want to watch it with Koizumi?]

[It seems so... I checked it myself while Koizumi was out.]

On the screen, the image shook twice, and a face that everyone was familiar with appeared on the screen.

With dark red eyes and an enthusiastic smile, Kita Kirihara looked at the lens of the normally functioning camera. Seven years ago, his eyes crinkled as he smiled excessively.

Fine beads of sweat still clung to the tip of her nose. It was a hot day, and the girl casually wiped her forehead and swept her sweaty bangs back.

Without the softening effect of bangs, it's clear that the girl's features aren't actually that gentle; they're more heroic and androgynous. When she has neat short hair, she possesses an androgynous beauty.

She was smiling.

Pure joy, and an equally pure smile, revealing canines that are a bit sharper than usual, making him both energetic and adorable.

"Hey... Ah, it's working properly." The girl brought her face closer and waved her hand, happily examining the camera. "Even though it's a cheap secondhand item, it seems like it can still be used for a while. That's great."

She placed the camera on the table and adjusted its position slightly so that it could capture herself and the kitchen in the shot.

I didn't really have any intention of filming; I just bought it and couldn't help but check if the camera was still working, and also to record the process of preparing dinner for Saki Koizumi.

"Since I've bought it, I'll use it a little..." Muttering to himself, Kita Kirihara was still inexplicably nervous in front of the camera, but he couldn't hide the excitement on his face.

She now has her own camera, albeit a secondhand one.

While deftly preparing ingredients, the girl, wearing a light blue apron and with her sleeves rolled up, busied herself in the kitchen, speaking intermittently to the camera.

Because it was her first time being photographed, the girl, who awkwardly reached out to adjust the camera position from time to time, was clearly still not very relaxed in front of the camera.

“It feels so stupid to talk to this thing by myself…” The girl’s muttering was faithfully recorded. “But I still have to record it, since I don’t always have time to play with these things.”

"Saki should be able to be discharged in a couple of days, just in time for the New Year. She won't make it for Christmas, but today is Christmas Eve, so I'll bring her some cake..." The girl chattered on and on, having endless things to say about her troublesome Saki.

Before she knew it, the girl, who had been rambling on to the camera for a long time, suddenly stopped talking before plating the food, looking slightly conflicted.

Her ears turned red.

Kita Kirihara's ears turn red quickly when she's shy, and it's always been like that.

"Actually, I'm planning to confess to Saki in the next couple of days," the girl said, scratching her head blankly at the camera. She only dared to openly reveal her plans when she was alone, but even so, she felt quite embarrassed. "I don't know if she'll accept..."

"I hope it works out. If it doesn't, I hope she won't kick me out, otherwise I'll have nowhere to go." She was a little distressed. "In the end, I don't even know where I should go from here."

“Saki would occasionally talk to me about the future. She always felt that she would die someday, and therefore she was particularly concerned about things that had not yet come.”

"The future... the word 'future' is so far away. Perhaps I will become a completely different person from who I am now, who knows?"

As she said this, the girl in the video smiled and looked at the person off-camera.

Same face, but different emotions.

"Just thinking about it makes me excited."

P.S.: When do you guys think I should update? I'd like to do a quick survey to see what time of day people usually open Hedgehog Cat.

You can leave a message here, briefly indicating when you will read it, and I will update it as often as possible based on everyone's situation.

70. Growing up is such an annoying thing.

"Just thinking about it makes me excited."

The video continued to play, and Kita Kirihara simply gazed calmly at his past self, a feeling that he couldn't quite describe as either guilt or sorrow rising within him.

She stole her own life.

Almost calmly, Kita Kirihara thought so.

Kita Kirihara can clearly remember the important things he has experienced from childhood to adulthood.

She remembered everything that happened at the Kitagawa family home, as well as her encounter with Saki after escaping from that hell.

But she couldn't remember herself at all.

I can't remember my favorite flavors, I've forgotten the things I used to love, and I don't know what my future aspirations are.

Their gaze was always fixed on the stage, never turning back to look at themselves behind the scenes.

...What kind of person am I?

With this in mind, Kita Kirihara continued watching, wanting to know what his past self had actually filmed.

And this observation lasted until thirty minutes later, when Koizumi Saki, who had gone out, returned excitedly.

"Ah-Yuan, I'm back... It works!" She came in carrying the new VCR's packaging box, and as soon as she entered, she saw Kita-Kirihara sitting on the sofa in the living room.

She seemed slightly surprised, but it wasn't exactly strange.

After all, Kita Kirihara is very capable, so fixing the video recorder wouldn't be a problem for Arata.

However, buying a new machine is not a bad deal. After all, although the old machine can still be used, it is quite old, so it is better to replace it with a new one.

Anyway, we're not as short of money as we used to be.

Thinking this, Saki Koizumi's attention naturally shifted to the completely black television screen. She initially thought it was just a black screen during a transition and waited a while, only to find that it seemed to have already ended.

Strange...? It's over, why is A-Yuan still sitting here watching? And he hasn't even acknowledged me...

Kita Kirito would only ignore him if the other person was watching a DVD or videotape. He was so engrossed in watching it that he didn't notice Kita Kirito's arrival.

What's wrong with A-Yuan? Why is she staring blankly at the black screen? Is what she's seeing too shocking?

Saki Koizumi instinctively sensed something was wrong, leaned closer to look, and panicked, frantically searching for tissues: "...Why are you crying?"

Kita Kirihara simply lowered her eyes slightly, and when she turned her head slightly, you could see the glistening tears in her eyes.

She looked at Saki Koizumi, her eyes filled with deep confusion: "...Saki?"

With a thick nasal voice, and red nose and eyes, she looked very pitiful.

"What's wrong..." Koizumi Saki approached with a tissue, clumsy and flustered, and was hugged by Kita Kirihara who reached out his arms the next second.

The other person hugged her, rested their chin on her shoulder, and pressed their bodies tightly together.

The fabric on his shoulder was silently and quickly soaked through, and one could vaguely feel the trembling and fear in his body. It was like a big dog that had been wandering for too long and had only just returned to reality after some time. He desperately rubbed against his owner's chest.

"...I really don't understand anymore." Kita Kirihara's voice was soft, but the weight of his falling tears was heavy. "I don't understand anything, it's so strange. Why could 'I' say such things? Even if I've forgotten so many things, it doesn't matter? Even if I become a different person, it doesn't matter? I..."

She spoke softly and calmly, but the emotions hidden beneath that layer of ice surged inexplicably, which made Kita Kirihara feel both curious and confused.

Perhaps there's also a bit of fear.

Otherwise, her tear ducts wouldn't have acted against reason, so shamefully shedding tears in front of Saki.

Saki Koizumi was only stunned for a moment before gently hugging Kita Kirihara back and stroking his back.

"Ah Yuan is usually very reliable and meticulous in everything he does... but he's actually a crybaby who loves to whine and be spoiled."

She lowered her eyes, paused, and continued.

"Forgetting many things, ignoring your own tastes, losing your dreams, never going back to your favorite shops, your favorite snacks no longer being produced, having to say goodbye to many people and things from the past, and no longer being willful in your studies... Growing up is such an annoying thing."

Kita Kirihara was taken aback.

Koizumi Saki couldn't see her expression, but she could sense the other's silence. After a long while, Kita Kirihara finally uttered a muffled sentence:

"...Then the growth I experienced must be the most terrifying type."

Too much has been lost.

If the growth of an ordinary person takes only a few decades, Kita Kirihara's process was far too long, so long that when she looked back, there was nothing left of the past.

What Kita Kirihara feared was the complete severing of himself from his past.

I struggled to return, but I had already gone astray.

But Saki Koizumi told her that she hadn't become a different person.

“You’ve just gone through an excessively painful growth process, A-Yuan.”

Saki has been watching her all along, and even now that she's changed, she doesn't hold back her gaze.

.

"Director, you really are..." Nana Ohba was observing the chocolate lava cake in the oven when she felt the emotions surging from Kita Kirihara and sighed softly.

What an idiot.

She could understand Kita Kirihara's feelings very well.

Because she didn't want to experience the pain of growing up, she chose to return to the stage as Nana Ohba, and I understand Kita Kirihara's anxiety.

When she first met Kita Kiri, he was much more naive and younger than he is now, and closer to the state depicted on the videotape.

However, after experiencing fourteen worlds, Kita Kirihara became somewhat more cautious and alert, and his speed of integrating with his character's state also increased considerably.

At that time, the director was unable to fully control her own consciousness because she did not understand her own mindset when she was acting again. She could only try to improve the integration by communicating with herself.

From the failure in the first world, to gradually becoming more skilled, learning to sacrifice oneself, and eventually becoming who I am today...

In any case, the director is already going through the painful process of "growing up".

Moreover, the director's most foolish thing is that—

—Even though I'm already home, it's much easier to get these discarded things back than to throw them away in the first place.

What's with all this frustration?

Nana Oba sighed.

However, she was also well aware that neither she, as a member of the Silver Court, nor Kita Kirihara, the owner of the character card, would be able to see through their own obsessions.

This perfectly illustrates the saying, "Those involved are often confused, while bystanders see things clearly."

They need guidance from others to barely clear away the fog.

P.S.: It's decided! From now on, updates will be concentrated between 6 PM and midnight.

I need to adjust my sleep schedule (?)