My sister never calls me brother.

My Sister Never Calls Me Brother (Author: Ye Wu)

My name is Zhou Han, I'm seventeen years old, a second-year high school student, and my appearance is...

Would you believe me if I said I'm handsome? You definitely wouldn't, but the truth is, I might actually be quite popular with girls.

For example, girls often talk about me in private...

"Have you heard? Zhou Han from Class 3 hit someone again, and I heard it's serious this time."

Volume 1 Saving Seigaku

Chapter One: A Terrible Encounter

It's gardenia season again.

My name is Zhou Han, I'm seventeen years old, a second-year high school student, and my appearance is...

Would you believe me if I said I'm handsome? You definitely wouldn't, but the truth is, I might actually be quite popular with girls.

For example, girls often talk about me in private...

"Have you heard? Zhou Han from Class 3 hit someone again, and I heard it's serious this time."

"How pathetic, I don't want anything to do with this person."

For example, the girls all think I'm a warm-hearted person...

"Isn't that inappropriate? Kissing at school." The girl was timidly pinned against the wall.

"It's okay, no one will see." The boy slowly kissed him.

"No... ..." the girl closed her eyes.

"Go to hell!!!" Zhou Han shouted, and with a flying kick, sent the boy who was about to kiss her flying.

"You...you...you......" The girl's shoulders trembled with anger, and she stammered incoherently.

Zhou Han turned and left, concealing his merit and fame, saying, "No need to thank me! It was just serving the people!"

For example, girls all know I'm very gentle and kind-hearted...

A stray dog ​​on the roadside was barking pitifully.

"It's so pitiful. If my family didn't forbid me from keeping dogs, I would really like to take it home." A girl looked at the stray dog ​​with overflowing compassion.

Zhou Han strode over, picked up the stray dog, and took it home, leaving the girl bewildered in the wind.

At night, Zhou Han stood in front of the pot of boiling water, adding various seasonings. He scratched his head, picked up a recipe book next to him, and glanced at it. The title was "How to Make Dog Meat Hot Pot."

Now you all know how popular I am, right? People like me, with the looks and heart of a male god, are practically extinct in the 21st century.

Don't be jealous of me. Do you know how tiring it is for me to have such good looks and wit that I shouldn't have at my age?

But right now, I'm wearing SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas and slippers, sitting in a chair picking my toes, waiting for someone named Miyazaki Airi.

Why, you ask? I have to start from this morning—

"Autobots! Transform! Cool chichi chichi..." The phone rang.

Zhou Han, still half asleep, picked up her phone from beside the bed and answered the call.

"Hello, who is this...?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

"I am your father!"

"Huh! Dad!?" Zhou Han glanced at his watch; it was 4:30 in the morning. He immediately looked furious. "It's the middle of the night!!! The rooster hasn't even crowed yet! Why are you calling me all of a sudden?"

"This happened suddenly. You need to go to the airport right now to pick up your Aunt Miyazaki's daughter. Her flight is at five o'clock."

Zhou Han froze for three seconds, then suddenly exploded in fury, "What?! Aunt Miyazaki has a daughter?! Why didn't you tell me when we met last time?!"

"Uh... I forgot..." Dad's tone was slightly embarrassed. "I just wanted to give you a surprise. How about it? You'll have a little sister soon."

"All I feel right now is horror!" Zhou Han said angrily.

"Anyway, it's all yours now. Your new little sister's name is Miyazaki Airi. I've already asked a friend to take care of her enrollment procedures. Get along well with her, bye!"

"Beep beep beep..." Zhou Han listened to the dial tone, a look of utter disbelief on her face. Enrollment procedures?! Did they plan to stay permanently?

No way... Zhou Han had some strange thoughts popping into her head. Was this new little sister here to compete with me for my affections?! It's a proven fact that the youngest child in a family always gets the most resources, for no other reason than that the youngest is still a child!

She has to share everything in half, sometimes even more than half—half her allowance, half her cake, half her Wi-Fi... My goodness! She has to share the whole house in half! It's terrifying!

The more Zhou Han thought about it, the more terrifying it became. It was alright if he had only one child; he could do whatever he wanted. But with two children, and him being the eldest son, the feeling was just too awful! He knew this all too well.

Zhou Han checked the time; there were less than thirty minutes left before he was supposed to pick someone up from the airport. He hesitated for a moment, then muttered to himself, "Forget it, I'm not going! They want me to bring a burden along? Are you kidding me!"

After saying that, I rolled back into bed, thinking that was the end of it, but then my phone dinged and I got another text message.

Zhou Han picked up her phone, feeling annoyed. It was a text message from her father.

[If you don't pick me up from the airport, you won't get a penny of your living expenses or pocket money next month. You might as well starve to death at home, hehe! (Your new sister is a bitch)]

Zhou Han stared at his phone expressionlessly. Although his expression was calm, his hands were trembling. He quickly jumped out of bed without washing up or changing his clothes, afraid that he would be late.

"I choose to bow to reality! It's not for watching porn!" Zhou Han said before leaving home.

Most people would be happy to know they have a sister who isn't related to them by blood, right? But I'm one of those who aren't happy because my parents successfully circumvented the one-child policy and had me and my sister. My sister's name is Zhou Qiqi, and she's an extremely cunning person. I've suffered a lot because of her pranks since I was little. To this day, the scar on my butt is from when she burned me with my dad's cigarette butt. Although I was extremely unhappy about it afterward, whenever my sister cried, I was always the one who got beaten up!

This is just one of my younger sister's many pranks. I won't mention the others, like throwing firecrackers in my pocket, replacing my foot bath water with drinks, or making me ride a horse. I just want to warn everyone: if your sister plays a prank on you, never fight back. Because in your parents' eyes, the youngest child in the family is always right. Just look at how many rolling pins I broke when I was little, and you'll know how terrifying sisters can be.

As for those adorable, charming, and cute younger sisters in movies and TV dramas... ...Come on! Who's the author?! Come out here! I promise I won't kill you!!!

So I have some fear of the word "sister," but it's not all terrifying memories. When I was sick, my sister would take care of me, she liked to follow me when we went out, and she would occasionally share her snacks with me. But five years ago, after my dad divorced, my sister went to Australia with my mom, and we haven't seen each other since.

My sister is such a strange creature; seeing her is annoying, but not seeing her for a long time makes me miss her terribly...

A few months ago, my dad brought his second wife, Aunt Miyazaki from Japan, to visit me. Both of them are archaeologists and fly around all year round. It's very likely they won't even come back for the New Year. I'm already used to this kind of thing.

Aunt Miyazaki is a very beautiful person and seems to treat me very well. But suddenly a stranger is going to become my stepmother, so I feel a little awkward. But I'm not a child anymore, so I understand my dad's remarriage.

Now I just hope this new little sister named Miyazaki Airi doesn't have a terrible personality, otherwise life will be tough...

Zhou Han had been waiting for ages. If it weren't for the fact that his SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas were relatively clean, his messy hair would have gotten him kicked out by security long ago.

"Why aren't they here yet?" Zhou Han picked at his toes, then picked his nose. A strange smell made him frown. "Ugh! The air in this airport is terrible..."

Zhou Han held up the Miyazaki Airi sign a little higher, then looked down and continued picking at his toes, when he suddenly saw a pair of white canvas shoes and someone standing in front of him.

Zhou Han slowly raised her head. She wore black pantyhose and a pleated mini-skirt. Her gaze lingered on her calves for a few moments, then shifted to her chest...

"Tch!" Zhou Han curled his lip, ignoring the girl who continued picking her toes. "What a waste of my expectations. Turns out she's flat-chested."

The girl was actually Miyazaki Ruri, who had just gotten off the plane. She had been waiting here for a while and had already seen Zhou Han, the strange person wearing SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas. She thought he was a homeless person until she saw him holding up a sign with his name on it, and then she decided to come up and ask him.

Before Miyazaki Airi could even comment on this person's attire and his behavior of picking his toes in public, he made a tsk-tsk comment about her chest, which inexplicably infuriated her!

Airi Miyazaki had initially intended to ask politely, but now she was completely in no mood for it. Her anger was flaring up, and she snapped at him in an unfriendly tone, "Hey!"

"Huh?!?!" Zhou Han put on a thuggish face, looking ferocious and ready to fight.

Airi Miyazaki stiffened, took a step back, and was a little scared when she saw such a scary expression. Without saying a word, she pulled her suitcase and turned to leave.

Horrible! So scary! Mom, I think I'll go back to Japan...

"Uh...oh no! My professional instincts kicked in..." Zhou Han patted his face. He saw the unfamiliar girl had already walked away quickly, thinking, "I really scared her away..."

It's not fair to blame Zhou Han for her bad tone, because at school, people who speak in a tone like Miyazaki Airi are usually looking for trouble or to pick a fight with Zhou Han, so Zhou Han was just responding out of habit.

Time passed slowly, and Zhou Han had already waited until nine o'clock in the morning.

"Oh my god! Where did she go? I've been waiting for four hours!" Zhou Han was getting frantic, scratching her head in frustration, when she saw Miyazaki Airi leaning against a suitcase in the distance...

Could it be her? She seems to have been waiting for quite a while. Zhou Han then shook her head and smiled wryly. How could it be? My new sister couldn't possibly be flat-chested, that's too low-class.

Oh no! Didn't Mom say someone was coming to pick me up? It's been four hours already. Could it be that this person isn't happy about me and never came? Miyazaki Airi was getting anxious, holding her phone and hesitating whether to call her mother. Her gaze drifted towards Zhou Han, who was picking his toes in the distance...

Could it be him? He seems to be waiting for someone too, and hasn't been picked up yet. Miyazaki Airi shook her head and smiled dismissively. How could that be? The person picking me up probably has the same name as me. Mom said my new older brother is a very cultured person, how could he be a pervert who picks his toes? That's too lame.

Three hours later, it was noon.

Zhou Han and Miyazaki Ruri had to look each other in the eye because they were both very hungry and noticed that the other's waiting time was a bit ridiculous.

So this airport really is Miyazaki Airi! ? What happened to being a **? Dad, I hate you! Zhou Han thought resentfully.

So this pervert picking his toes is Zhou Han, the new older brother, right?! What happened to his supposed good manners? Mom, you lied to me! Miyazaki Airi thought angrily.

The first meeting between the siblings looked terrible.

Chapter Two: Spring Cleaning of the New Home

The two realized that the other person was very likely the one they were looking for.

A sausage vendor passed by Zhou Han.

Zhou Han thought for a moment, bought two sticks, and walked towards Miyazaki Airi.

Sigh... Miyazaki Airi sighed, thinking with disappointment, "It really is this person."

"Miyazaki Airi?" Zhou Han asked tentatively.

Airi Miyazaki nodded, but her expression wasn't pleasant.

"It's you! I've been waiting for seven whole hours! I'm exhausted..." Zhou Han complained, handing a sausage to Miyazaki Airi. "Don't talk now, eat my big sausage..."

After saying that, Zhou Han felt something was off, that it had a slightly vulgar connotation, but she didn't think much of it.

Miyazaki Airi looked at the sausage in Zhou Han's hand without saying anything, nor did she reach out to take it.

Zhou Han scratched his head, completely bewildered. He wondered why she wasn't eating. "I'm starving! She hasn't eaten in so long, isn't she hungry?" he thought. "Oh! I see, she probably doesn't speak Chinese."

"Sir, I'm working hard, like a big sausage, you understand?" Zhou Han said, licking the sausage back and forth with his mouth, trying to make Miyazaki Airi understand that although he did it unintentionally, his actions were extremely lewd.

Miyazaki Airi nearly fainted at Zhou Han's lewd actions, thinking, "What kind of person is this?! Am I really going to have to live with someone like this for a long time? I want to die..."

Zhou Han was licking the large sausage with great effort, but Miyazaki Airi couldn't stand it anymore and said in a rather unfriendly tone, "I don't want to!"

"Huh!? You can speak Chinese?" Zhou Han was stunned.

“I’ve taken Chinese tutoring classes, so I have no problem with daily communication.”