I really don't want to be reborn.

That would be too cowardly and useless—she wanted to proudly tell her brother that she had grown up and was now a girl no less than Kasumigaoka Utaha, and asked him to watch closely!

But now, I have the will but not the ability.

Suddenly, everything went dark. Kirino was shocked to find her brother's face almost touching hers, as if he were about to kiss her. Her heart pounded, and her nerves tensed to the limit.

Should I kiss her?

I'm so happy... no, my first reaction should be why?

Why are you suddenly treating her like this?

The thing she had been dreaming of was about to happen, and she closed her eyes in acquiescence to her desire, her eyelashes trembling with a mixture of unease and bliss.

My whole body is shaking.

Her world began to tremble.

The last line of psychological defense is crumbling.

Fear and anticipation surged within her at the same time; she was excitedly terrified. Unexpressed love is bound to bring fear, and unrequited love without fear is like a toothless lion—it's nothing.

Looking at her with her face tilted back and her eyes closed, Kousaka Kyosuke's expression was extremely complicated for a moment. The next moment, he pressed his forehead against hers: "Your temperature is still rising. It seems that the root cause is still the last cold. You haven't fully recovered."

Kirino stared at him, her eyes wide.

"no……"

"Not what?"

Aren't you going to kiss me, Onii-chan?

Aaaaaah! What the hell are you doing checking my temperature?!

In an instant, all the anticipation and vague happiness cooled down. Her cold seemed to abandon her, and she felt clear-headed yet weak and powerless, as if the fever had subsided.

Only unspeakable grievances flow from the cracks in my heart, and that is tears.

A few tears had already begun to well up in her eyes.

Kyosuke touched her cheek with his fingers; there seemed to be some tear stains still remaining there.

Did you cry before?

It might not be the kind of thing to say, but the blushing, sickly Kirino made him want to hold her in his arms.

Deeply cherished emotions are the slowest to fade, even with the passage of time.

"If there's nothing else, I'll head out now. You should get some rest."

"that……"

"Is there a problem?"

Kirino sniffed, her eyes red-rimmed: "It's nothing..."

He nodded and tucked the blanket around his sister: "It's a day off today. You're not allowed to use your phone or computer. If you don't listen, there will be serious consequences."

Kyosuke Kosaka straightened up and raised his hand at his sister: "This time I'm going to take off my pants and spank her, slap slap slap, you better watch out."

Kirino didn't say anything, but tilted her head to look at him.

Her eyes were brimming with grievance, which turned into an ugly expression. Perhaps noticing her expression, Kyosuke sat down next to her and pinched her cheek: "What do you want to say to your brother?"

She clutched his sleeve, her knuckles turning white.

His face was somber, as if it were getting dark.

December 16th, 9:00 AM.

Kousaka Kyosuke sighed inwardly, bent down and half-huddled his reticent younger sister, stroking her slightly dry hair with his hands again and again: "Don't cry, don't cry, your brother is here."

"..."

"If Kirino hadn't had so many worries when she was little, she would have just been happy, unhappy, and told me what she wanted and didn't want."

"Yes, yes..."

"However, they're not children anymore."

A sigh of regret is the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

She had been holding back her tears, but his words caused Kirino's last line of defense to completely crumble. She grabbed his clothes tightly with both hands, buried her face in his chest, and sobbed uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

She cried like a melting ice cream.

Despite trying his best to shout, he couldn't make a sound.

The voice, filled with grievance and pain, was too heavy to float in the air.

------

Look, it's past midnight!

Aren't I awesome!

Please save the razor blades for me tomorrow. If possible, I still want to maintain my ranking on the monthly update list next month, even though this ranking is pretty useless.

Chapter 18 How can knowing when to stop be considered satisfaction?

Teacher Da said...

No, Brother Lu said...

Well, as Lu Xun said: If we don't want to be disappointed in others, the only way is not to place any hope in them.

…………

Those who hold an umbrella for you in the heavy rain, those who let you lean on their shoulders, those who calmly say they miss you, worry about you, and like you, those who silently hold your delicate body in the darkness.

This is a person whose love runs deep.

There is another type of person.

From childhood to adulthood, they've laughed with you, cried with you, stayed by your bedside in the hospital, always put you first in everything, and been there for you since childhood, contributing to the warmth of your life...

We cannot afford to lose a single one of these people.

Kousaka Kyosuke held his crying sister in silence, only stroking her head with his hand, as if to soothe her anxious and collapsing emotions, or as if to soothe her most urgent needs.

However, Kirino still gritted her teeth.

Her psychological defenses had completely collapsed, but some rationality remained. She would never tell her brother about her thoughts, which were not supported by her parents or permitted by society, right now.

That was an unprecedented, all-or-nothing gamble, a final, desperate gamble.

That kind of gambling is something only desperate people would do.

Sometimes, what people need is genuine despair.

True despair has nothing to do with pain and sorrow.

If she had experienced that kind of despair, perhaps she would have found peace and happiness in the following years without relying on others.

Perhaps only then will she be able to let go of her long-held obsession, and she may also be able to mature enough to challenge Kasumigaoka Utaha.

But she hasn't given up hope yet.

Kirino closed her eyes tightly, tears streaming down her feverish face. The remaining tear stains did not bring any cooling effect, but instead continued to burn.

There's nothing we can do about it.

She has always felt a lot of frustration. When she feels like she can't go on, she closes her eyes and imagines herself ten years from now, looking back at what she is going through.

But that won't work.

There are no magicians like Aozaki Aoko in this world, and her mental simulation of Kousaka Kirino is completely inadequate, so even if she does this, she can't calm down at all.

"novel……"

Her humble voice was filled with so much grievance. After sobbing until her voice was hoarse, Kirino slowly spoke: "The novel... was stolen..."

Actually, that's not what she really wanted to say.

She wanted to shout out those words, those words that would definitely trouble her brother, but she didn't dare to say them yet.

As a child, she was not good with words and would awkwardly describe the strange things she had just seen to her brother.

As people grow up, they become less sincere.

"I don't want to rely on my brother for everything."

"Dating your girlfriend is super important..."

"You're welcome."

"Brother, I'll be going now..."

"Anything my brother gives me is fine with me..."

It's all lies!

The most painful thing is to say something you don't mean.

Kyosuke Kosaka stopped stroking it, his tone suggesting that a miner had unearthed a coffin, hesitant and uncertain about whether it would contain an antique or a zongzi (a type of Chinese rice dumpling).

"You're saying... it's because the novel was stolen? Is that the reason?"

"Yes, that author has become someone else!"

When she got angry, Kirino, who was already short-tempered, felt her blood rush to her face, and she spoke loudly, which caused severe discomfort in her throat, making her cough as if she were vomiting blood.

He didn't care at all about whether he would catch something from his sister. He still held her with one arm, and with the other hand, he stroked her hair and patted her back: "Tell me the reason in more detail."

"...In other words, this is clearly a novel I wrote, but the author has become a pen name that I have no idea about."

Upon checking my phone, I saw that the words "Author: Rino" were indeed displayed directly below the title of the novel.

The name is the same as that of Rino, the female protagonist of "Imouto Sora," which is a common occurrence in mobile phone novels.

"After sending the network password containing the original manuscript to the other party, no one contacted me at all... I called the number on the business card, but it was always just voicemail, and I didn't get a reply to my emails..."

He remained silent for a full minute before sighing, "What kind of excuse could possibly make you send the password?"

The younger sister kicked off the blanket helplessly, clearly extremely embarrassed and angry, probably crying because of her own stupidity. "It's mainly...it's mainly that editor, he said a lot of flattering things."

That makes sense.