A Young Woman's Heart

At this moment, she really wanted to have a drink, because maybe that would give her the courage to tell the truth.

……

Chapter 100 Secrets

It rained yesterday, so it was still a bit chilly this morning.

Mo Xueyao kept her legs together and rubbed her hands together, as if she was particularly sensitive to the cold today.

"Yaoyao." Li Wanyan unlocked the car, turned around and said, "You don't seem to be feeling well today, how about I give you a ride?"

"Phew...okay..." Mo Xueyao, who could barely maintain her balance while walking, didn't try to be brave and straddled the back seat of Li Wanyan's car.

The gray and gloomy sky made her feel somewhat depressed. She gripped the armrest of the back seat tightly, afraid that she might lose her balance and fall to the ground.

Green light, red light, red light, green light...

A layer of fog enveloped the entire city, making the light from the traffic lights appear to spread out like ink on rice paper.

"Crack—" An unpleasant noise came from the bicycle under Mo Xueyao's bottom. The school was approaching, but it seemed to have malfunctioned.

Li Wanyan pressed the brake and stopped the car, placing one foot on the ground: "Yaoyao, get down for a moment."

"Hmm... what's wrong?" Mo Xueyao asked, standing by the roadside like a zombie, looking preoccupied.

"It looks like the chain has come off." Li Wanyan glanced down, then frowned, not wanting to get her hands dirty with engine oil. "Anyway, it's only a few minutes' walk to school. We can fix it when we get there."

“Okay.” Mo Xue stared blankly at the sky and answered, only hurriedly following after Li Wanyan took a few steps forward.

"Um, Wanyan, about yesterday..."

"I knew you were upset. Is it because of yesterday? Maybe I shouldn't have asked."

"No……"

“Everyone has their own secrets, or things they don’t want to talk about. There’s no need to force yourself. I haven’t told you everything about my past either, have I?” Li Wanyan smiled slightly, “Besides, many secrets are probably sad memories for the people involved.”

Mo Xueyao grinned. The memory wasn't sad, just tinged with a faint melancholy.

The comforting words did little to ease her mind.

The fog-shrouded streets made the distant scenery blurry.

It also made the world seem as if it only consisted of the two of them.

The street was already quiet, and now it seemed as if no one was passing by at all.

After Mo Xueyao kicked away a soda can at her feet, she finally mustered up her courage.

"Wanyan!" Mo Xueyao stepped forward, swallowed hard, and said loudly, "Actually, I'm a boy!"

Li Wanyan paused for a second, her expression calm, but she asked with a smile in her voice, "What does that have to do with what happened yesterday?"

"Because my classmate was my best friend in junior high school, when he saw me, I had long hair, was wearing girls' clothes, and dressed like a girl, so I didn't want him to know who I was. So I told him that I was 'my' sister."

Li Wanyan sighed: "Xiaoyao, do you hate yourself as a girl that much now? I've seen you before... without clothes on..."

"No, listen to me!" Mo Xueyao interrupted Li Wanyan, wanting to finish her story in one breath, otherwise she was afraid she wouldn't have the courage. "I was originally a boy, but I had surgery to become a girl. However! My biological sex was always female, but I had a disease that prevented my organs from showing on the surface—although my biological sex has always been female, I spent the previous sixteen years as a boy..."

Li Wanyan listened quietly without answering.

Mo Xueyao choked with emotion, forcefully wiping away tears that had suddenly welled up in the corners of her eyes: "So, you hate me now! So many things happened before... I... although I didn't mean to, I hid these things... You must think I'm a pervert now!"

"Is everything Yao Yao said true?" Li Wanyan was surprised to learn that something that sounded unscientific but actually made perfect sense upon closer inspection.

"Yes, you can ask my parents, it's absolutely true, it's my biggest secret... I'm sorry for keeping it a secret for so long." Mo Xueyao looked relieved, because she knew she was going to lose this friend. She said with a hint of pleading, "But, please don't tell anyone else? Please..."

"Simply put, Yaoyao is a girl, right? She just had a boy's dream."

"...Well, physiologically speaking..."

"That's alright then. At least Yaoyao is more like a girl than Hua Yinyin in some ways, right?" Li Wanyan smiled and grabbed her hand. "Besides, how could I possibly tell your secret? Wouldn't that be betraying your trust?"

"You...you really don't hate me?"

"Why should you hate her? Xiaoyao is a girl, after all." Li Wanyan's words were like a reassuring pill, finally putting Mo Xueyao's mind at ease. "Speaking of which, are you planning to tell your best friend about this?"

"Uh...no need, we don't have much contact anymore anyway, the fewer people who know about this, the better." Mo Xueyao smiled awkwardly, feeling a little uncomfortable under Li Wanyan's gaze. "Don't you think it's weird?"

"will not."

"Well……"

"Cough cough!" Just then, two coughs came from behind her, startling Mo Xueyao, who hurriedly turned her head around.

In the fog, her sense of surroundings became poor, and coupled with her emotional state earlier and the fact that she hadn't slept at all last night, she didn't notice anyone behind her.

In that case, wouldn't everything I just said have been heard?

Mo Xueyao's face was ashen, as if her life had come to an end.

"I was wondering why Xiao Yaoyao was so carefree and tomboyish most of the time. So that's what happened!" Hua Yinyin casually put her arm around Mo Xueyao's shoulder and hugged her. "But don't worry, I'll always love Xiao Yaoyao. Besides, Xiao Yaoyao is still a real girl. She just went a little astray, but she's back on track now!"

"I think I heard something I shouldn't have, I'm sorry," Mr. Xue said to Mo Xueyao with a wry smile.

"You...you...you—!" Mo Xueyao's face burned as she stammered, her voice fading as she looked at the two of them. Tears welled up in her eyes again. "My life is over..."

"What do you mean 'over'? How could Xiao Yaoyao not believe in my character at all!" Hua Yinyin said angrily. "I definitely won't tell anyone! If Xiao Xue dares to tell anyone, I'll castrate him first!"

"I won't say anything," Mr. Xue said with a faint smile, waving his hand. "Although it's not a big deal to me, some people might not be able to accept it."

"Really...you won't tell?" Mo Xueyao was no longer in the mood for jokes. She gripped their hands tightly, her eyes brimming with tears, and asked, "Please, please don't tell anyone..."

"Don't worry, don't worry, I won't tell anyone~" Seeing that Mo Xueyao still looked suspicious, Hua Yinyin coughed twice and said seriously, "I swear, I will never tell anyone what happened just now, otherwise I'll be punished by never being able to find a boyfriend!"

"Is that a punishment for you...?" Mo Xueyao couldn't hold back any longer.

"Alright, then—if I say that out loud, I'll never get a high score!"

It sounds just like a vow that Hua Yinyin would make.

“I swear…” Mr. Xue said, mimicking Hua Yinyin.

"Xiaoxue, you don't need to. I trust you." Mo Xueyao sighed, feeling unsure how to face the three of them.

"Don't worry, we'll keep quiet," Mr. Xue reassured her. "Xiaoyao doesn't need to feel embarrassed. Just act naturally as before, and pretend none of this ever happened."

"How could that be possible..."

"Huh, what just happened?" Hua Yinyin stared blankly at the sky. "I can't remember."

“I can’t remember either,” Li Wanyan said with a rare touch of humor.

"Hmm, it seems like they're saying we should buy noodles at the school gate."

"Ah, right!" Hua Yinyin slapped her right palm. "I need to buy the mixed noodles from the school gate to eat in the classroom, and then ask that lady to put less salt in them, they're way too salty! Hmm, and I need to ask for more chopped green onions."

"Xiaoyao, do you want to come along?"

"I've already had breakfast, but let's go together anyway." Mo Xueyao looked at the three of them gratefully, hesitated for a few seconds, and then said, "Um... thank you."

"What are you thanking me for? Has anything happened?" Mr. Xue said jokingly.

"Alright, alright, stop pretending to be stupid." Mo Xueyao rolled her eyes in annoyance. "But it's still better not to mention it, lest someone else overhears."

"Yeah, so you can just forget about it."

The topic quickly shifted elsewhere.

Completely relaxed, Mo Xueyao felt even more sleepy. While walking, she even closed her eyes and started dreaming. She dreamed that Hua Yinyin had let slip that she had become the school's recognized pervert and transvestite, which frightened her so much that she hurriedly woke up from the dream.

It seems I'll need some time to calm down.

After accompanying Hua Yinyin and the others to buy breakfast, Mo Xueyao returned to the classroom and fell asleep on the table.

Unbeknownst to her, Hua Yinyin turned around and kept playing with her hair while lying on her desk. Mo Xueyao felt an itch on her scalp, but she couldn't stop the itch in her dream.

This time, thankfully, I didn't have any nightmares and slept until it was time for morning exercises.

I slept for nearly two hours, which is barely enough for one person.

Although I wouldn't say I felt completely refreshed, at least my spirits were much better.

Her mood calmed down, and she stopped worrying about what happened in her nightmares.

Or perhaps she is actually learning to face things calmly.

Besides, many things won't happen if you don't think about them; the more you think about them, the more likely they are to happen—especially bad things.

So it's better not to think about anything.

She was so sleepy and dizzy in the morning. Looking back now, it felt like a dream, so she unconsciously told herself that it was a dream.

This is a self-recovery and self-protection mechanism that everyone has.

……

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These two chapters feel a bit off?

That's right.

Chapter 101 It's a Dream

"Hoo!" Mo Xueyao felt as if she had a dream with multiple layers, one on top of another, and no matter how hard she struggled, she could not truly return to reality.

It wasn't until that feeling of plummeting into an abyss returned to her mind that she finally clung to the lifebuoy thrown by the lifeguard, like a drowning person, and struggled to swim ashore.

When I woke up, I was soaked in sweat.

Not at school, but on my soft bed at home.

The sunlight outside was dazzling, but the wind was also strong, making the leaves rustle and the branches look like they were about to bend.

Mo Xueyao sat up, panting heavily.