A Young Woman's Heart

Nine of the ten whiteboards were stuffed into his schoolbag, and the remaining one was unwrapped and placed in the pocket of his school uniform.

He couldn't wait to show off his new gadget to others.

Although she cannot speak, Huang Yuxi is not a lonely or withdrawn person.

He is quite willing to communicate with others if he can.

That's probably why being unable to speak is even more painful for him.

Seven or eight students came to the classroom. The class monitor reviewed and previewed the lessons as usual, while Mo Xueyao leisurely put her legs up on Huang Yuxi's chair and leaned against Hua Yinyin, who had moved her chair over to copy homework, while reading a novel.

"Oh, Huang Yuxi is here." Mo Xueyao greeted him and put her legs down.

Huang Yuxi smiled and nodded, put her schoolbag on her chair, and then eagerly took out a small whiteboard, which was a little bigger than her palm, from her pocket, wrote a few words on it, and handed it to Mo Xueyao to show her.

Good morning, Mo Xueyao.

"Hmm, good morning. Did you buy this little whiteboard at the school gate? I saw it when I went there this morning." Mo Xueyao looked at the little whiteboard with curiosity. "The quality seems pretty good."

"Hmm!" Huang Yuxi puffed out her chest proudly, then erased the words on the whiteboard with her pen, wrote a few new lines, and handed them to Hua Yinyin. "Hua Yinyin, didn't you tie your hair up today?"

"Hey, you noticed? I was in such a rush this morning that I forgot to tie my hair. I'll tie it after I finish copying my homework." Hua Yinyin said, then suddenly stuck her head out and took a bite of the spicy snack that Mo Xueyao was about to put into her mouth. "Hooray, I got it!"

"Hey, you've already taken all the spicy strips... You can eat the last half too. You've already gnawed on it, I don't want to eat it." Mo Xueyao helplessly put the spicy strip to Hua Yinyin's mouth.

"Hehe, plan works!"

"Believe it or not, I won't let you copy my homework anymore?" Mo Xueyao threatened, her eyelids drooping.

"Oh dear, Yao Yao is the best, she definitely won't be angry, right? Hey hey hey?"

"Don't give me that, all you say is flattery." Mo Xueyao scoffed at her, then handed the spicy strips to Huang Yuxi. "Huang Yuxi, want some spicy strips?"

Spicy strips are one of Mo Xueyao's favorite snacks, mainly because they are not only delicious but also cheap.

You can buy a big bag for five cents, and if you eat them one small piece at a time, they can last a long time.

Five cents worth of instant noodles is actually not bad, but the crumbs tend to fall everywhere.

Spicy strips are different; you just need to wash your hands.

However, if the chili oil leaks out of the packaging, it will be much more difficult to clean than if it were instant noodles.

"Thank you, but I don't eat spicy food," Huang Yuxi wrote on the whiteboard.

"Hmm, okay then." Mo Xueyao nonchalantly stuffed the spicy strip into her mouth.

"Hmm—" Mo Zhuyou, who had just sat down, sniffed around as if she had discovered a peculiar smell. "Who secretly ate White Rabbit milk candy? Why does it smell like milk candy?"

"Really?" Mo Xueyao couldn't smell it at all.

"I think I can smell a little bit, um... it's not coming from Xiaoyaoyao."

"How could I possibly smell like milk candy!"

“It looks like it’s on Huang Yuxi.” Cha Li leaned closer and sniffed the air around him. “It’s definitely on him.”

"It smells like lipstick," Ye Banxia said, her senses sharpening.

"It's this." Huang Yuxi wrote it on the whiteboard a little shyly, and then took out the 'White Rabbit Milk Candy Lip Balm' from her pocket.

"Wow, where did you buy this?" Cha Li's eyes lit up. "I want to buy it too! It tastes like milk candy!"

"At the school gate."

The girls excitedly passed the lipstick around, seemingly marveling at the existence of such a lipstick.

Although Mo Xueyao was curious, she still couldn't understand why they were so excited...

……

Chapter 84 Drinking Milk Tea

Psychological counseling room.

It is located in the very corner of Yukong High School.

Few people walk past this place, let alone go into the tutoring room.

The school counselor's name is Taiyin, and she is a little girl who looks like a first or second year of junior high school.

To be precise, they only look alike; as for their real age, Mo Xueyao didn't know.

Although relatively remote, the place is not dirty or messy. There are some carefully tended flowers and plants outside the single-story houses, which show their vigorous vitality when spring arrives.

Friday's classes were really relaxed because there were no main courses, so the main course teachers didn't even assign homework. Of course, this doesn't mean there's no homework for the weekend, it just means we can't do it in advance.

So Mo Xueyao lazily strolled around the school by herself, and before she knew it, she had wandered here.

Actually, if she wanted, there would be plenty of people to accompany her around, but today she just wanted to be alone.

Perhaps one's heart is most at peace when one is alone.

It's probably only when you're alone that you can see the beauty around you that you don't usually notice.

Outside the Taiyin Psychological Counseling Room, there is a pot of mimosa. Although I have seen it in various popular science books, I rarely actually encounter it in reality.

This made Mo Xueyao curious, so she squatted down and gently poked the leaves of the mimosa with her finger, but the plant did not react at all.

"Huh? Isn't this a mimosa?" she muttered in confusion. Several seconds passed before the mimosa's leaves slowly closed. "Its reaction time is too long! No, plants don't have a reaction time..."

She fiddled with the mimosa for a while longer, then got a little tired of squatting and stood up. She intended to turn around and leave, but somehow she ended up at the door of the counseling room and gently knocked.

Hmm... I guess she just wants a hot cup of milk tea?

Mo Xueyao found an excuse for herself in her heart.

However, there seemed to be no response from behind the door; there wasn't even a sound of footsteps.

Is there probably... no one inside?

Mo Xueyao hesitated for a moment, and was about to turn around and leave when she heard the creaking sound of the door being pushed open.

Taiyin, who was only about 1.4 meters tall, held a black ceramic cup and looked at Mo Xueyao expressionlessly. The cup contained steaming yellowish-brown milk tea, which looked delicious.

Taiyin stirred the milk tea with a spoon, making a clattering sound, then returned to her seat expressionlessly.

The tension from before vanished instantly upon meeting her. Mo Xueyao closed the door and politely greeted her as "Teacher Taiyin."

Taiyin nodded, gesturing for Mo Xueyao to sit on another chair by the window.

Although the counseling room is located in a corner, it is still some distance from the wall. This place seems to be untouched by anyone all year round. The plants grow haphazardly, yet they have a strange kind of wild beauty.

She remembered that she had a cup that Taiyin had given her, which she kept in the classroom and used for drinking water every day. She should bring it with her if she came to drink milk tea this time.

Taiyin seemed to be thinking about this as well. After confirming that Mo Xueyao had not brought a cup, she took out a disposable paper cup and then opened a seemingly ordinary thermos.

What poured out of the thermos was warm milk tea. The rich aroma made Mo Xueyao forget the heat and take a sip.

"Huh, this time it's salty?" Mo Xueyao was a little surprised, she had never drunk salty milk tea before.

"Hmm." Taiyin nodded, took out a few White Rabbit milk candies from the drawer, and placed them on the table. "Eating milk candies makes the taste even better."

"Um, thank you."

Then came a long silence.

Taiyin did nothing, just sipped her milk tea and stared blankly outside.

Does she spend every day like this?

Don't you get bored?

Or is it that the richer a person's inner world is, the more they can tolerate things that are extremely boring to ordinary people?

She thought about it, peeled off a piece of milk candy and put it in her mouth. After a brief silence, she suddenly realized that she actually had a lot to say.

It's not so much about finding a solution, but probably just looking for an outlet for venting.

For her, living a normal life as a girl was not an easy thing.

One or two days is fine, but long-term accumulated pressure will still lead to mental fatigue.

"Teacher Taiyin, if... I mean, if," Mo Xueyao organized her thoughts, finally unable to hold back any longer, "if a girl suddenly turned into a boy one day, how would she choose to spend the rest of her life?"

To avoid arousing suspicion, she deliberately reversed the order.

Taiyin blinked her beautiful big eyes, her waterfall-like black hair swaying gently, but she did not answer.

"Did they choose suicide because their lives suddenly changed drastically, or did they give up on themselves and just drift along, or did they accept this identity and continue to try to adapt and live their lives?"

Taiyin raised three fingers.

Mo Xueyao was stunned for a moment before she realized that it meant the third answer.

“Indeed, normal people wouldn’t give up on life because of something like this, right?” She smiled. “At least it’s much better than serious or terminal illnesses. Even people in wheelchairs can find hope in life, let alone something like this.”

Taiyin nodded.

"But adapting isn't so easy, is it? Originally a girl, but later became a boy, people will definitely notice something, like they'll think this boy is so effeminate. In this cautious state, life can become very oppressive."

Taiyin neither answered nor made any move, seemingly having no solution as well.

Of course, Mo Xueyao was well aware that she simply wanted to vent her emotions.

"Thinking about it carefully, this kind of life is quite tiring. You have to pretend to have a different identity and keep your secret from others. But, given time, you'll naturally get used to it... Time... can always change so much." Mo Xueyao sighed. "But after you get used to it, will that girl still be the same person? Will she become a completely different person?"

This is what's been bothering her lately.

As everything about her being a boy gradually fades from memory, even the habits that symbolize her past as a boy are slowly changed. At that point, has she completely become a different person?

Sixteen years of being a boy, like a non-existent dream?

Then weren't those sixteen years of her life meaningless?

It's as painful as killing yourself with a knife.

Taiyin listened quietly, offering no choice or answer, but her calm gaze could involuntarily soothe anyone who looked at her.

Mo Xueyao then realized she might have said too much, so she awkwardly changed the subject: "Speaking of which, does Teacher Taiyin just sit here daydreaming every day? Don't you get bored? I rarely see you come out."

“Hmm…” Taiyin murmured, pushed open a hidden door to the side, pointed to the fairytale-like room where Mo Xueyao had once gone in for 'treatment', and then pointed to some needles, thread and fabric on the table.