Am I the only one streaming Sword Art Online on the entire internet?

"Asuna, can you hear me? Look at me, let me look at you again." Yuuki Shōzō typed this message to test its transmission effect, and Sorin relayed the message to Asuna.

"Perhaps we've been putting too much pressure on you. You secretly used your brother's helmet to enter the game this time, probably to relieve some pressure. I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry, my daughter."

“Your mother and I are very worried about you, Asuna. We just hope you can get out of here alive, and we just hope to see you open your eyes again in your hospital bed.”

“No… Dad, I’m fine, don’t worry about me…” Asuna said, choking back tears. “My life here is pretty good, I have trustworthy friends, everything is fine… We’ll be able to beat this game soon.”

It was supposed to be a very touching scene, but Sorin, caught in the middle, felt something was off. However, seeing Asuna like this, he could only willingly stand in the middle as a scapegoat for the father and daughter.

"That's good...that's good. I believe a child as outstanding as you can definitely protect yourself and live a good life. Thank you, Mr. Yuuki Shozo, for the hundred rockets. That's all for now, go ahead and get busy. Keep in touch." After saying this, Sorin stepped forward and patted Asuna's shoulder, then subtly wiped away his slightly reddened eyes. "Cherish what you can feel now, because I will never have the chance to feel these things again."

"At least for now, let's take a step forward in order to get out of here alive... Okay, friends, welcome back. Here we go take on the first floor boss..."

15. A boss with an incredibly stupid, stationary mechanic.

"So we've now made it to the halfway point of the maze. The monsters here are all kobolds. I wonder if they'll be slacking off while petting them."

Sorin now has one more piece of equipment. He has a katana on his back, a rapier hanging at his left waist, a short sword about an arm's length behind his waist, and an arm shield fixed to his left arm.

Kirito, standing nearby, felt that with the blessing of that mysterious skill called "Weapon Master," Sorin would eventually become a human weapon rack. In that case, the title "Thousand Swordsman" was quite fitting for him.

"Now let me explain the mechanics of this boss. The entire boss fight has only one phase. Every time the boss's health drops by 25%, it will summon three kobold minions from nearby, for a total of twelve. When the boss's health drops to 25%, it will switch its attack mode, changing from the shield and axe to a scimitar. To be honest, it's an incredibly stupid, stationary boss, perfect for being the gatekeeper of the first floor."

"Hey Sorin, what kind of boss mechanics do you think aren't stupid?" Asuna suddenly asked curiously. Kirito hadn't asked such a question, because he had seen many bosses in previous MMORPGs, and any one of them had a more complex mechanic than this one.

“Every 30 seconds, someone is targeted, and that person dies after 55 seconds. After they die, you still have to help pull the mobs; three teams take turns getting hit by a high-damage debuff, and if you get hit by the wrong one, the whole team will wipe…” Solin could give ten thousand examples without even thinking. “This Ilfang doesn’t even have any fancy ways of clearing aggro or switching phases, what is it if not a training dummy?”

"The Dark Temple, huh? I used to be obsessed with farming for the Warglaives of Azzinoth for a while," Kirito said with some emotion after hearing Sorin's description.

"Stop messing around. Back when you could play WoW, anyone could carry you to solo Bloodlord. The pros were all farming the Burning Throne and Sargeras' grave." Sorin looked Kirito up and down again, showing no mercy. "Think about it, back in The Burning Crusade, the Warglaives of Azzinoth even sold for 5,000 euros. Now, I guess only nostalgic players would buy one and put it in their storage."

[Wasn't that guy who bought the Egg Knife for 5 Euros banned?]

[What the hell is The Burning Crusade? That's an expansion from so long ago!]

"Actually, if I could, I'd like to command this boss fight. It's been a long time since I've been a commander," Solin remarked as he followed the main group. The group didn't encounter any particularly troublesome problems during their advance. Even encountering hordes of monsters in their faces—something that would normally lead to a wipe—became minor inconveniences in the face of such a large group.

Finally, half an hour later, the entire RAID team advanced to the entrance of the boss room.

"Gentlemen! Remember our previous strategy!" Diabel raised his longsword and shouted, "Victory is certain!"

Victory is certain!

This boosted the morale of the entire team, which had been somewhat fatigued and slightly dampened after the long march, to its peak once again. Diabel walked ahead of everyone and was the first to push open the door to the boss room.

The kobold lord Qin... no, Ilfang stood in the center of the arena, nearly two meters tall. Thorin had never seen a kobold of this size before, and could only forcefully remind himself that this guy was actually Meepo from Dota 1 with Black King Bar activated.

"No... this kobold looks are just too much," Thorin muttered under his breath. "Are you sure you weren't tricked into drinking Green Fertilizer by Gul'dan?"

No... why are you saying no?

One of the joys of watching streamers play MMORPGs: hearing familiar jokes and tropes.

I will steal your soul!

“That assumption doesn’t hold true, Thorin. There aren’t any kobolds in Draenor.” Kirito started playing the old World of Warcraft joke with Thorin. “It would be more plausible if you said that this kobold stole the dwarfs’ divine intervention.”

"That's more like Meepo activating BKB."

Asuna, who was standing next to Kirito and Sorin, was completely bewildered by their cryptic conversation. She didn't even know how to join in the banter, so she simply did one last check of her equipment and items.

The torches on both sides of the wall suddenly lit up, illuminating the entire hall and symbolizing the start of the boss battle.

"I shouldn't have listened to that guy Ya Wang's nonsense. How dare he call himself a veteran of other online games with this kind of boss-opening method?" Solin looked at the chaotic scene in front of him and casually complained. "Let me give you a brief explanation. The general procedure for opening a boss is for everyone to enter the boss room and stand in their designated positions. The main tank should use skills like Shield Slam or Taunt to establish aggro first, and then the DPS should follow up. I estimate that even with this method, we'll lose aggro in less than half a minute if the command is not good."

"By the way, I'm recording now and reorganizing my thoughts. Ahem... Hello everyone, welcome to Sword Art Online, brought to you by MagicTV and Solin. This time, I'm bringing you a live commentary video with the professional attitude of a professional streamer. We've reached the top of the first floor's maze area and are preparing to conquer... ah, the kobold lord Ilfan."

[Welcome to Dark Souls 3, brought to you by Gcores.com and Quinn. Yesterday we just finished our walkthrough of the Grand Archives...]

Why start like this? Are they going to stop after 21 episodes?

[It feels so familiar!]

"Our team's task here is to provide support and also pull the mobs. The only way to fail with this kind of boss, which is very sturdy, is probably because of the mobs. The boss itself is usually not a problem."

As Solin explained, with the MT team holding aggro, the DPS following up quickly reduced the boss's health to 25% while controlling themselves to avoid over-aggroing, spawning the first wave of adds—Kobold Ruins Guards.

The two kobold ruin guards that spawned on the left side of the battlefield were taken over by the two teams standing on that side, while one of the two kobolds that spawned on the right side of Thorin was pulled away by the third polearm team, and the remaining one ran over here.

"So after the DPS reduced the boss's health to 25%, four small monsters spawned in the boss room right on time... I really don't know what to talk about with a boss of this strength. What should I say?"

Sorin drew his short sword from his waist, then rushed forward. Before the monster could establish aggro after spawning, he unleashed a common Monster Hunter one-handed sword combo: a three-hit shield bash followed by two normal attacks and a spinning slash. He then immediately moved behind the monster, drew his longsword, performed a Kesa Slash, followed by a Spirit Blade Spinning Slash, and finally finished it off with two more casual slashes from his rapier.

Sixteen, a command like a roaring deity.

"If this keeps up, the boss will die, and what the hell am I supposed to explain? Here, I'll first unleash a six-hit combo, then move and switch to my sword, followed by a Kasaya Slash, a large spinning sword attack, and two more normal attacks to finish it off. Meanwhile, I'll continue attacking the boss. The boss now has only a quarter of its health left. The guide I read said that this boss will switch to its sword when it's down to a quarter of its health, but even if it changes phases at this point, it won't make a difference. Damn it, I'm going to die!"

Sorin swiftly dispatched a small monster, glancing at his companions. Kirito had been standing idly behind him, while Asuna had gone to the boss to deal damage. Kirito had originally intended to join them, but when Yau moved to Kirito's side, he said something to him. Although Sorin was explaining and didn't hear clearly, he knew it wasn't anything good; it was most likely that Kirito's identity as a beta tester had been discovered.

Don't make any big promises, streamer!

[Xiao Se: Commander, you've got this! The Commander has three Colossi, how could you possibly lose? It's impossible!]

[Lin Shen was completely unaware of the toxic nature of his predictions]

I remember last time the streamer looked at the banned cards list and confidently said that the Guardian Crystal Horned Beast couldn't possibly get in.

"What do you mean by 'poisonous milk'? The boss is obviously about to die. Do you think I, a professional streamer, can't understand this?" Suolin was quite dismissive of such comments. "You're talking about Huang Xudong. I'm not a magician. I'm not that powerful."

"Wait, Sorin, something's not right with that sword." Kirito, who had been standing by for a while, suddenly noticed something amiss. "That's not some kind of curved sword!"

"What the heck?" Suolin didn't hear clearly at first, and quickly asked again.

"That's not a scimitar! That's a long katana! The boss is going to use a katana skill soon!" Kirito shouted. "Diabelle! Don't go over there!"

Sorin glanced over and saw Diabel trying to face the boss alone. He stood in front of the kobold, who was brandishing its greatsword.

"I believe you, Sorin! This guy is a beastman in a kobold's skin! He even knows Blade Storm!" Kirito shouted as he rushed toward Ilfang.

Calling it Blade Storm isn't entirely accurate, because Ilfang only spun once, so strictly speaking, it should be called a 360-degree cleave. Or, a more precise description would be Axe's Counter Spiral.

This skill (let's call it Counter Spiral) immediately knocked back Team C, who was standing to Ilfang's left, and Diabel, who was facing the boss. The skill instantly reduced the health of everyone hit by half and stunned them. Solin, however, saw Ilfang raise his hand and immediately ducked to avoid the skill, then quickly ran two steps to stand in front of the stunned Diabel.

"Take the mobs away! Take the mobs away!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Everyone, stop attacking! Wait for me to establish aggro. Those with low health, go to the back row and heal them!"

He continued with a smooth six-hit combo with his one-handed sword, but this time he didn't switch to his katana to continue attacking. Instead, he used shield bashes with aggro bonus to keep hitting Ilfang.

Ilfang wielded his greatsword, launching a relentless attack on Sorin. It was a three-hit combo, consisting of two slashes in different directions followed by a thrust that looked incredibly powerful. Sorin raised his arm to his chest, blocking Ilfang's thrust, but was still thrown aside.

"Damn it, this skill won't clear aggro, will it..." Sorin thought to himself in mid-air. Fortunately, the skill didn't have the aggro-clearing effect he expected. After knocking Sorin away, Ilfang still locked onto Sorin and charged towards him.

"DPS team, get on! Fix his feet!" Solin shouted orders while keeping Ilfang's aggro, his usually gentle voice suddenly becoming explosive. "Polearm team, move to the back and control the mobs!"

After such a long delay, Team C and Diabel, who had been stunned, recovered. After drinking a health potion, Diabel rushed forward and began attacking the boss from Sorin's left.

"Hey? Why should we listen to your orders, kid? Where's Diabel?" Ya Wang still wanted to cause trouble at this moment, but was shut down by Solin's words.

"The door's not closed, get out if you don't want to fight! Team F and Team G, pull two mobs each, and make sure everyone focuses on Ilfang!" Solin really didn't have time to deal with this Tooth King right now. He was already under a lot of pressure tanking the boss alone, not to mention he had to command the second half of the boss fight.

Of course, his command was as always full of PVP battlefield style, and Solin himself understood that now all he needed to do was to speak loud enough to remind the bewildered RAID members what to do.

"Charge! Charge forward! Push them down! Break their feet! For the tribe! Crush their bones! The brave shall prevail in a narrow encounter!"

[Did anyone hear what the host said?]

I don't know, the announcer's Japanese is a bit weak, I'm wondering if they can understand anything.

Why did the second half switch to Chinese?

Indeed, Sorin was completely in the zone at this point, so much so that he didn't even bother to continue giving commands in Japanese; in fact, his so-called commands had become his own battle cries. Fortunately, there were still some people in the arena who could understand him, and even those who couldn't were energized by Sorin's shouts.

Finally, thanks to everyone's efforts, Ilfang began to show signs of fatigue, and his health was reduced to a very small amount.

"Drip the blood! Last hit, last hit, last hit, last hit! Take them down one wave at a time!"

Solin wasn't thinking about using Shield Bash to build up aggro anymore; after all, even if he managed to aggro a low-health boss, it wouldn't be a big problem. He quickly switched to his weapon, maximizing the use of his [Weapon Master] skill buff to accumulate damage.

"Eat your dad's Air Blade Great Spin!"

He drew his katana one last time, spun around, and sliced ​​through Ilfang's body before sheathing it behind him. The kobold behind him fell to the ground, and the words "You got the Last Attack" appeared in his vision.

"Ahem... That's a wrap, all done. So this episode of Sword Art Online boss battle coverage is now over. See you next time."

Solin coughed lightly twice, then resumed his previous elegant and gentle voice, as if the roaring Celestial Venerable from before was just an illusion. The players, some sitting and some standing, were scattered to one side, all marveling at their survival in such a battle. A burst of cheers and enthusiastic applause seemed to pierce the rooftops and reach the heavens.

"Thank you for your hard work, Mr. Sorin, the Thousand Swordsman." Diabel sighed, staggered over to Sorin's side, and patted him on the shoulder. "But your command style seems very familiar to me. Is it just my imagination?"

17. Lok'tar Ogar!

“No, every raid leader in WoW leads a raid like this, it’s not your imagination,” Thorin replied with a smile. “But you were very brave to charge in like that.”

【That's right, I'm super brave, okay? I can drink a lot!】

[The upstairs neighbor has been rude to Jiexue yet again]

"I wouldn't call it bravery, it was more like recklessness. I was too hasty." Diabel lowered his head, but there was still a hint of resentment in his eyes. "I still want to thank you. If I had been controlled and taken that triple attack head-on, I probably would have been knocked out of HP and died."

"Pretty much. I judged that after blocking, I was sent flying and lost half my health. Normally, if I had taken the Whirlwind Slash first and then that skill, I would have been dead for sure." Solin shrugged, seemingly unconcerned about what had just happened, as if he was used to it.

"That was a beautiful fight just now, as expected of the Thousand Swordsman. And your voice just now was really... captivating." Agil walked up to the two of them, patting Sorin on the shoulder from above. "How about we add each other as friends?"

"Sure, sure, I'll add you. My friend slots aren't that precious." Solin casually accepted Agil's friend request, and then took a jab at a streamer who's now defunct. "By the way, I'm planning to form a fixed raid group in a while. Want to give it a try?"

“Well, I’m also planning to form my own team, so I probably can’t join yours… I’m sorry.” As Solin expected, Diabel didn’t accept his invitation. “But we can still work together in the future. I’ll add you as a friend.”

Solin initially thought the matter was settled; he only needed to go to the door opposite the boss's room after the boss's death and open the portal to the second floor. However, at that moment, a discordant voice suddenly rang out.

"Everyone, stop! Now is not the time to relax and celebrate our victory!" Ya Wang suddenly stood up, pointing at Sorin and Kirito who had just been standing next to him, and shouted, "I've heard that this 'Thousand Swordsman' and Kirito are both closed beta testers!"

The atmosphere inside the boss room suddenly froze again, but most people still wanted Ya Wang to continue speaking and hear his insights. After all, after nearly a month of gaming, whether someone was deliberately stirring up trouble or it was the will of the beta testers, their reputation as closed beta players had ultimately been tarnished.

"Think about why this kid Solin was able to react so quickly and take over Diabel's command position? Wasn't it because he witnessed this sword technique that wasn't mentioned in the strategy guide during the closed beta? He must be here now for the LA reward!"

However, Sorin just watched him coldly, and after a long while, after he finished speaking, she turned to Agil and asked him.

"Egiru, please translate what this fucking guy fucking said to me, thanks."