My deskmate is actually my yandere reader.

"Let's go, it's time for school, aren't we going to be late?"

"……Um."

As they left the apartment, the two walked silently to the school, each lost in their own thoughts.

Lately, Shiraishi Chiren has been feeling increasingly anxious and insecure.

Kurose Izumi's every move was extremely important to her.

When rejected, you may feel very sad inside, but on the surface you have to pretend you don't care and maintain a smile.

When accepted, they are overjoyed and cheer, sweeping away all unhappiness.

However, she gradually felt that she could no longer maintain this pretense.

It's ridiculous.

Despite being a master of disguise, she still couldn't suppress the genuine emotions that surfaced.

She knew that forcing Kurose Izumi to accept her kindness would embarrass him, but she did it anyway.

He said he wanted to make Kurose Izumi happy, but he was just indulging in self-gratification.

She wanted to atone for her sins and find peace of mind.

But this is just self-deception.

Kurose Izumi could not forgive such a gesture of goodwill.

The reason is simple—it's too deliberate.

It would be better to interact normally and allow Kurose Izumi to gradually let go and figure things out.

That's how things should be.

Chiren Shiraishi originally intended to do the same, without forcing Izumi Kurose.

But when she saw that Izumi Kurose had received many love letters, she panicked.

She was afraid that someone would take Kurose Izumi away from her.

Even though she knew that Izumi Kurose liked her and couldn't forget her, she was still uneasy and afraid.

What if, what if?

What if Izumi Kurose one day finds that being with her is unhappy and chooses someone else?

What should I do then?

Love turned to hate?

This approach is bad for everyone, and no one will find happiness in it.

Shiraishi Chiren didn't know what was wrong with her; her mind was a mess, and all her usual rationality and strategy had vanished.

She could only think about Kurose Izumi, trying to figure out how to please him and get his forgiveness.

She no longer wanted to plan anything deliberately.

She wanted to win over Kurose Izumi with her sincerity, to tell him her true feelings without any pretense.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

What Fuyuko Kuchiki did deeply hurt Izumi Kurose, leaving him with a lingering resentment.

He will never forgive me, never.

"Quan, Quan..."

Thinking of this possibility, Shiraishi Chiren suddenly reached out and grabbed the hem of Kurose Izumi's clothes as she walked ahead, calling out softly.

"Um……?!"

Kurose Izumi turned around in confusion, only to see Shiraishi Chiren, whose face was already covered in tears.

Her face was sad and helpless, like a house cat abandoned by its owner, crying out in the wind and rain.

Kurose Izumi could feel that the hand gripping the hem of her dress was trembling slightly.

"Qianlian, what's wrong?!"

At this moment—Kurose Izumi couldn't help but panic.

"No, don't abandon me..."

Shiraishi Chiren shook her head, sobbing, unable to suppress the sorrow welling up in her heart.

She was completely unable to think about anything else.

The only thing on my mind was what would happen after Izumi Kurose.

But no matter how you look at it, you feel abandoned.

Kurose Izumi will gradually drift away until she disappears and can never be found again.

And the distance between them will be forever.

Never to see each other again, never to understand each other, forever strangers...

"Qianlian, you—"

Kurose Izumi was about to say something when she suddenly noticed that all eyes were on them.

At the same time, a cacophony of voices filled the air.

...It's so noisy.

"Come with me first."

So, Kurose Izumi took Shiraishi Chire's hand and walked with her out of the school.

Shiraishi Chiren obediently let him pull her along, keeping her head down and sobbing silently.

She sobbed, tears streaming down her beautiful, sorrowful face and falling to the ground.

It was the same all the way.

133. Kurose Izumi begins to understand her love.

Kurose Izumi stopped walking when she reached a deserted riverbank.

Looking around, there was no one in sight, but the bridge in the distance was bustling with traffic and people.

Along the riverbank, the water glistens, lapping against the shore and creating white spray.

Kurose Izumi looked at the tearful Shiraishi Chiren with a complicated expression and asked, "Why are you crying?"

"I……"

Shiraishi Chiren opened her mouth, hesitated for a moment, and then said in a low voice, "...I'm afraid Izumi will leave me and be with another woman."

Why do you think that?

"Because Izumi received many love letters, she became very popular."

Upon hearing this, Kurose Izumi paused for a moment, then smiled helplessly.

Are you an idiot?

"No matter how many love letters I receive, I will still refuse them."

He began to wonder how Shiraishi Chiren had suddenly become like this.

She was even worried that he would get together with other girls because he became popular.

This is absolutely ridiculous!

Chiharu Shiraishi wiped away her tears, looked up at Izumi Kurose, and asked, "Why?"

"Why do you think..."

After a moment of contemplation, Kurose Izumi said frankly, "Isn't it obvious? I like you."

"I don't believe it." Shiraishi Chiren's face was resentful. "Izumi clearly wanted to receive love letters and then say yes to someone."

"Qianlian, you are really... too stupid."

Kurose Izumi rubbed her temples and continued, "Didn't I already say? I'm just curious about what kind of love letter you would write to me, not that I want to agree to anyone's request."

"I still want to receive love letters."

"You... are getting more and more difficult to deal with."

"...I'm just scared. I'm scared that Izumi will stay angry with me and then get along with other women," Shiraishi Chiren said, looking aggrieved.

"So, that's why you cried?"

For a moment, Kurose Izumi didn't know what to say to Shiraishi Chire.

Before this, she wanted to become outstanding and dazzling, but now she has started to feel afraid.

But... it's kind of cute this way too.

"And Izumi has always refused my kindness, even though I just wanted to do something for you within my ability."

"And there's more!"

"Quan has always been averse to physical contact with me. He doesn't want to hold my hand or sit with me..."

So, Kurose Izumi sat on the lawn by the river and patiently listened to Shiraishi Chire's complaints.

During this process, a smile unconsciously appeared on his face.

Is this the real Shiraishi Chire, showing a childlike side like this?

Timid, insecure, constantly worrying about gains and losses, afraid of loneliness...

"...Izumi is such an idiot, he's been making me feel so lonely lately."

About ten minutes later, Shiraishi Chire's complaints finally came to an end.

Her expression turned resentful and dissatisfied, and she began to feel uneasy.

There's no way around it, the more I talk about it, the more aggrieved I feel!