Unlimited Ambition

“…Remember to lock the door next time,” another person said.

"By the way, are you alright, boss?" one of them asked, noticing the bruises on their boss's arm.

“我看起来像是没事的样子吗？！”社长这样喊道：“快点扶我去保健室啊啊啊啊啊！！”

So, after double-checking and deleting the inappropriate parts from the computer, I moved it to school. Then I was busy unplugging the network cable and plugging in the power. I was exhausted. Afterwards, Haruhi stood beside me, laughing at me.

"Alright, then I'll trouble you to make a promotional webpage for the SOS Brigade!" Haruhi said casually, "The capable should do more work, right?"

WTF, I've dumped this girl now, no objections, right?

“只是这个网站到底要宣传什么啊？”我这样问。

春日思考了一下：“你先试着摆弄一下吧。我很快就会弄到素材的！”

"Okay," I sighed, "I'll give it a try."

After that, I started trying to build a website. Meanwhile, Kasuga called Mikuru over and forced her to change into a maid outfit—of course, I was kicked out again during this time.

Speaking of which, Mikuru's cuteness level roughly doubled after changing into a maid outfit. She looks absolutely adorable.

After that, Kasuga forced Mikuru to pose in many seductive ways, then took a lot of pictures. She even borrowed glasses from Yuki and put them on Mikuru, saying, "A big-breasted, doll-faced, bespectacled maid. She'll probably be very popular."

But what I care about more is something else.

“话说，有希你没了眼镜也能看书啊。”我注意到了这一点，之后问道。

“Yes, those glasses are non-prescription,” Yuki replied.

……装饰品吗？想不到有希也会在这方面打扮自己。

就这样，时间在不知不觉间流逝着，转眼四月已经过了一大半，就要到五月份了。

That day, I was meditating in the clubroom as usual. Mikuru, sitting opposite me, was knitting while stealing glances at me. Yuki, meanwhile, continued reading beside me.

"Hi everyone, thank you for waiting!" And then, Haruhi arrived.

"There's no need to apologize, because no one is waiting for you." I sighed almost imperceptibly, then opened my eyes while holding Yitian.

之后，我就看到了一个眯眯眼的男生站在春日的旁边。

Who is this guy? What does he do?

"Nice to meet you. My name is Koizumi Itsuki. I just transferred here a few days ago." That's what the squinty-eyed guy said to me—don't give me that suggestive smile! It's disgusting, you know?!

“很好，这样一来，我们SOS团就聚齐了五名成员了！守得云开见月明，直挂云帆济沧海！”

前言不搭后语的。你到底在说些什么啊？

"Well, that's not impossible, but could I ask first what exactly the SOS Brigade does?" Koizumi Itsuki asked with his squinty eyes.

真是个好问题啊少年，说起来连我这个前辈都不知道答案。或许在座的五个人之中，除了春日之外都不知道吧……

"Hmph, of course it is—find time travelers, aliens, people from other worlds, and superpowered individuals, and then play with them!"

"Fine, I should have known." I rubbed my forehead and said to the squinty-eyed guy, "Sorry, this guy's an idiot, so please don't mind him. You can leave now."

“不，”那个眯眯眼皱了皱眉，之后说道：“其实正好相反，我觉得挺有意思的。我是说，我要加入。”

“加入SOS团？！你可想好了兄台，这可是关系到你一辈子的大事！”我稍微有些焦躁的说道。

"Thank you for your kind offer, but I've already made up my mind."

好意你妹啊！这里明明是我和三个可爱女生的秘密基地，凭什么你又要掺和进来啊？！你是基吗？是基吗？基吗？吗？

Sorry, I got a little excited.

就这样，虽然我现在很想要一拳打过去，但是几十亿年的修养，仍然支撑着我露出了堪称完美的笑容：“莱特·鲍德温——抱歉我口胡的，叫我阿虚就行了。”

就这样，SOS团迎来了除了我之外的第一个男性成员。只是不知道是福是祸。

而春日则显得非常兴奋：“我已经决定了。宣传工作做了那么多，现在也没有人上门。看起还是主动出击要好一点。”说完之后，春日一拍桌子：“所以说！我决定了，我们SOS团即将举行第一次市内巡逻！主动搜索那些灵异事件！大家都打起精神来！在周末北高山脚下的餐厅聚齐！没来的人要被判死刑的！！”

"Hey buddy, aren't you scared at all when you hear her say that?" I nudged the guy named Koizumi Kazuki and said.

"How could that be? Suzumiya looks very energetic." He replied.

……活力你妹啊。

就这样，社团教室因为增加了一个人的关系显得很拥挤。等到过了一段时间，当有希“啪”的合上书本之后，我们便站起身，准备离开。最近几天，我们一直将这个当成撤离的讯号，并且遵守着。

"Wait a minute." At that moment, Yuki called out to me. Then she shoved a thick, hardcover book into my hands: "Here, you can borrow this."

"Why?" I was a little confused.

"..."

"...Okay, don't look at me like that, I'll take it."

Chapter Nine: Their Respective Purposes (Part One)

就这样，我骑着自行车到了春日所属的聚会地点。之后发现我竟然是最后一个到的。

Springtime is one thing, but what are you bunch of bastards looking forward to?!

"So slow! You'll be fined!" she said with a bright smile in the spring sunshine.

“凭什么啊？我可是比约定时间还要提前了半个小时的！”我大声抗辩道。

"The last person at the party has to treat everyone; it's an unwritten rule in the SOS Brigade. Don't worry, I won't overcharge you. Just a cold drink will do," Haruhi said with a mischievous grin.

“为什么我感觉你只是想要宰我一刀而已？”我这样抱怨着。

After that, we went into the ice cream shop together. We got the menu and started ordering.

"Please don't be shy, everyone. Try to order the more expensive dishes," Chunri said with a smile.

"Huh? Is this really okay?" The most innocent Mikuru asked, and after hesitating for a moment, she only ordered a very ordinary orange juice.

“那我就不客气了。”那个眯眯眼的叫做什么来着……名字给忘记了的家伙这样说着，之后却也没有真的“不客气”，同样点了一杯很普通的冰咖啡。算这小子识相。

"One extra-large mixed vanilla chocolate gold sundae ice cream." At that moment, Yuki said this expressionlessly. The cashier taking the bill beamed with joy. In contrast, my face immediately fell.

When have I ever offended you, Yuki-san?!

"I want to be like Yuki too!" Haruhi next to her shouted, not to be outdone.

Then I was the only one left who hadn't ordered: "...a glass of ice water."

After I paid the bill with tears streaming down my face and walked back, I found that Haruhi had prepared five toothpicks, two of which she had marked with a red ballpoint pen.

“I was just thinking about it, and investigating paranormal events isn’t a simple task. So, we should split up and search; that should be more efficient. We happen to have five people. Let’s divide into two groups. The two who drew red will be in one group, and the remaining three will be in another. Is that alright? Okay, let’s begin.”

春日说完之后，完全不理会我们是否会提出不同的意见来，就将牙签画红色的那一段握住，之后伸出手要我们抽取。

Whatever, I'll just play along with her. Thinking this, I pulled out a toothpick with a red mark on it.

Let's do some probability calculations. The probability of drawing a red toothpick is 40%, and the probability of drawing a colorless toothpick is 60%. The probability of two men both drawing red toothpicks is 16%. The probability of one man and one woman is 84%. Furthermore, since there are only two men, there's a 100% probability that drawing a colorless toothpick means he'll be accompanied by a woman.

In other words, I have an 84%, 42%, or 21% chance of being accompanied by a girl while shopping—but in the end, I have to suffer with that guy who has a 16%, 8%, or 4% chance!

Now you all know my resentment, right? You all understand my resentment, right? You all understand why I won't give this squinty-eyed guy a friendly look, right? Don't you all feel the same way I do, wanting to punch all his teeth out so he can never show that bright smile again?

一定很想吧。

只是，这个眯眯眼的古泉一树——这是他重新自我介绍之后，我勉强记住的名字——别的不说，察言观色的能力却是一流。而我在他面前，也没什么理由要继续伪装下去。因此他很快就读懂了我的面部表情，那就是：我很烦，别惹我。

So, this pretty boy (your face is even paler than his. And in a sense, you really are being kept) gave a wry smile and said to me, "It seems, Ah-Xu, you harbor quite a bit of resentment towards me... How about we sit down, get to know each other better, and clear up any misunderstandings?"

“不要。”我一边这么说，一边坐在了路边的热狗摊角落里不起眼的位置，这样问道：“你掏钱请客？”

“That’s right, I’ll pay,” the squinty-eyed man replied.

“首先，我们有必要重新认识一下。”眯眯眼这样问道：“你知道我加入SOS团这个组织的目的是什么吗？”

“…Kid, don’t make me beat you up.” I rolled my eyes.

"It's because of Haruhi Suzumiya."

"...Do you think I'm just joking?" My anger level rose again.

"No, no, no, I think you've clearly misunderstood." Koizumi Itsuki smiled wryly. "I have no improper thoughts about Suzumiya. The reason I said I joined the SOS Brigade for her is because I had a mission and had no choice but to do so."

At this point, the man with the squinty eyes paused for a moment until I indicated, "I'm listening," before continuing.

"Speaking of which, do you know how the Earth was created?" he asked.

“……你不觉得你的思维跳跃的有点大么？”

Koizumi Itsuki gave another wry smile: "Have you ever heard of the human theory?"

I nodded in agreement.

Koizumi Ichiki smiled with relief and complimented, "Kyon-kun is truly learned and talented."

"Forget the flattery, get to the point," I said.

"The key point... the key point is that we have a theory that the world was actually created three years ago—and the person who created this world is Haruhi Suzumiya."

这一会儿，古泉一树完全睁开了眼睛，面容显得无比的郑重。

Three years ago?! Haruhi Suzumiya?! Dimensional power?!

我强忍着内心之中的悸动，装作不屑一顾的样子：“你是白痴么？这种三流小说似地发展可并不流行啊。”

“I know what I’m about to say is absurd and outrageous,” Koizumi Itsuki continued, “but please make sure it hears the whole thing.”

我接着点了点头：“那么，就当做是茶余饭后的消遣好了，请继续。”

“我之所以如此说，是因为我在三年前觉醒了超能力。”古泉一树看起来仍然郑重无比：“我当时害怕极了，甚至一度产生了自杀倾向。但是很快的，一群与我一样，产生了超能力的人找到了我。并且接纳我成为其中一员。”

“学园都市？”我忍不住笑了起来：“话说你是不是科幻小说看多了？”

虽然嘴上这么说，但是我在心理面，已经把古泉一树的话信了五成。只是不知道为什么，他会对我坦白这些东西。而且看起来，他好像完全不知道我的真实身份——不过这也难怪，在降生到这个世界之后，我的一切表现都很正常。完全没有使用过一次，超越这个世界正常认识范围的力量。所以他不知道我的真实身份也是应该的。

Ignoring my sarcasm, Koizumi Itsuki continued, "Within the organization, I learned the truth: this world is actually a product of Haruhi Suzumiya's mind. And the power we have gained was also bestowed upon us by Haruhi. To put it simply—Haruhi is the god of our world."

In a sense, that is indeed the case.

“你说了这么多，但是在我看来，春日她除了性格别扭一点之外，和普通的女孩子并没有什么不同的地方啊。”我继续与他虚与委蛇。

“的确，从目前的情况看起来，凉宫同学自己并不知道她所具备的力量。当然，以组织的看法，能维持这种状态再好不过了。”

"By the way, didn't your organization ever consider arresting and dissecting Kasuga? Maybe we could uncover the real truth that way?"

“组织内的确有这样的人存在。”古泉一树点头：“但是绝大多数人都是稳重派的。因为不知道对神做出了这样的事情之后，会不会被惩罚。如果惹得春日同学发怒，之后毁灭世界，那可就得不偿失了。”