Love, Gun, Cupid

"In modern times, only barbarians would make such a comment about a sword saint."

Barbarian Lin Jiade shrugged; he was always quick to accept the "status" dictated by those he trusted. But thinking about it, it made sense; a brute who only knew how to use violence would hardly command respect, even if given the title of Sword Saint.

"If the purpose of mastering swordsmanship is to fight, then you just need to keep practicing."

Kapok said, "The more times you fight with others using a sword, the faster you will master this skill. If we calculate it by the number of times, it will be around eighty-one."

"How is one counted?" Lin Jiade asked.

"There isn't a very specific standard. Two hours of gentle training like yours and mine would probably count as one session."

You call this mild?!

Lin Jiade thought about it and realized that his limit was three times a week of such training. In other words, it would take him at least twenty-seven weeks to master the skills that Kapok had taught him.

He didn't know if this speed was considered normal in the industry, but he could accept it, spending half a year digesting and absorbing the external techniques of a swordsmanship.

"Come on," Lin Jiade's thirst for power fueled his fighting spirit, "Senior Kapok, I'm ready!"

"Good fighting spirit and good physical condition, you can get serious now," Mian muttered.

The man in the tight-fitting suit pulled the trigger, and the fired bullets transformed into magic that accumulated on the blade, emitting a pale green light.

Kapok's physical fitness and aura have reached a new level. Lin Jiade felt the impact from the sword as soon as he parried the first move, which made his arm go numb.

It's hard to imagine how that old swordsman defeated the man in the tight suit.

Kapok showed no sign of stopping, her longsword weaving a violent net. Even though instinct allowed Lin Jiade to respond reasonably, unknowingly, his retreating steps left two gray marks on the floor.

Kapok once again cornered him against the wall. The bodysuit-clad monster was coming at him aggressively. Lin Jiade felt that he would probably be severely injured this time. Just as Kapok appeared, the voice of a strange woman rang in Lin Jiade's ear—

"Squat down."

Before Lin Jiade's consciousness could make a judgment, his body had already faithfully carried out the order, and the sword blade of the Kapok swept across his head.

"Get up and parry in the direction of one o'clock."

Lin Jiade stood up, raised his wrist, and "coincidentally" bumped into the changed sword path of the cotton tree. He already knew what to do next: thrust at the center of the cotton tree.

Three thrusts, three exchanges of swords—Kapok's defense was impeccable, but she had to retreat two steps, giving Lin Jiade more room to maneuver.

Unfortunately, Lin Jiade was already exhausted. Mu Mian seized the moment when his breathing became disordered and turned defense into offense, slapping his hand and knocking the weapon out of his hand.

Lin Jiade raised his hands above his head, a move he had mastered with practiced ease.

“You did well, especially the last few strokes,” Mu Mian said. “If you could allocate your energy more reasonably and control your breathing rhythm, you might be able to push me to take it even more seriously.”

"I think I heard someone instructing me to do this. Is this also an effect of the Master Magic?"

"No, it could never seep into your consciousness."

Lin Jiade's face turned pale. The supernatural events happening to him were getting worse and worse, making him think of those horror movies where female ghosts sucked up yang energy and lured people's souls.

He was in a state of mental turmoil and failed to deliver any further impressive performances in subsequent training sessions.

His opponent was equally distracted, and during the rounds when Lin Jiade performed best, Mu Mian had a fleeting illusion that Lin Jiade's eyes had turned gray.

The man in the tight-fitting suit tried hard to find evidence, but found nothing that afternoon, so he had to let Lin Jiade go home. At that time, the young man's will and physical strength were already close to their limit.

When Lin Jiade returned home, he immediately found Du Juan, placed his hands on her shoulders, and said excitedly, "Help me!"

Du Juan feigned shyness: "Even if you suddenly say that..."

This pesky little devil knew what Lin Jiade wanted, but she just wanted to agitate him, make him uneasy, and then step in to play the role of his savior, so one chain of favor after another was placed on Lin Jiade.

I owe 55 chapters in total, have paid 7, and still owe 48.

Chapter Thirteen: The Fruits of Thirty

This method occasionally fails, but it works most of the time. Right now, Du Juan is tasting Lin Jiade's anxiety, which, to her, is like a caramel flavor.

"Just kidding. I know what you're thinking. That gray female ghost is getting more and more influential on you, isn't she?"

Du Juan patted the back of his hand: "Don't worry, in a few hours I'll catch her for you."

At 3 a.m. on October 24, Lin Jiade got up. His eyes were glazed over, and he looked down like a puppet. He clenched his fists, as if to confirm the reality of his body, and then got up and wandered around the bedroom.

He searched, approaching anything that could reflect light, reaching out to touch it, muttering to himself, and then moving on to the next target... Finally, he reached out and touched the phone screen.

The surface of the phone screen rippled and cracked, with a crystalline luster covering the cracks, as if it were happy for Lin Jiade's arrival.

Lin Jiade's fingertips plunged into the crack, which seemed to come alive, wriggling and actively devouring his body. His body rapidly became ethereal, about to disappear from the bedroom.

The door opened, and Cupid appeared in the doorway. Lin Jiade was startled. He immediately took out a talisman and said in a garbled voice, "Sever in two, Ruyi Sword!"

The ripples on the talisman dimmed, and Lin Jiade, whose declaration was incorrect, was unable to use his weapon. Cupid casually tugged, and her hair transformed into chains, binding Lin Jiade's chest, pulling him from the entrance of the phone screen, and slamming him heavily onto the bed.

"Oh no, I've fallen?"

Lin Jiade sat up groggily and looked at Cupid, who put a finger to his lips in a gesture to silence.

“This is a secret,”

She stood at a distance, her voice whispering in the young man's ear. Lin Jiade was initially curious, but panicked the moment he saw the silver muzzle of the .44 caliber gun pointed at him.

"and many more……"

Cupid's bullet struck Lin Jiade, who stared at his chest in shock. Even with his experience of being shot, he couldn't get used to this.

Cupid's magic spread across his chest, and the ripe fruit he had seen in his hallucinations peeled away from his body, pulled out by the cuckoo with its back facing up.

Thus, a headdress resembling a tombstone, long gray hair, a sky-blue robe, and bare feet came into his view one after another, and Lin Jiade experienced a scene ten times more terrifying than watching a horror movie.

He rolled to the floor, still shaken, and stared at the female ghost forced out of his body by Cupid's bullet. He asked, still in shock, "What is that thing?"

The female ghost frowned. Although she was a ghost, she was quite beautiful, possessing an elegant beauty reminiscent of a marble statue.

She said slowly and methodically, "First of all, I apologize for disturbing your life these past few days, Mr. Lin Jiade. Although it was not my intention, I have indeed caused you trouble."

Secondly, I am not 'something'. Judging from the magical knowledge I still remember, I should be a lich now, a lich that exists in soul form after its physical body has been destroyed.

"A lich, by title, is at least a senior magic researcher. For an apprentice-level magic researcher to address a senior like that, and to address a woman older than yourself, is impolite."

“She…she…she spoke,” Lin Jiade’s face paled even more. “This afternoon, when I was fighting Senior Mu Mian, it was this voice that guided me on how to defend and counterattack!”

"A lich... Interesting. So that's how you perceive yourself?" Du Juan smiled. "Alright, Lich lady, why are you here?"

Lin Jiade then recalled the knowledge that Hehuan and Mumian had taught him when he went on the mission on October 15th: liches are high-level undead who retain complete memories and personalities from their previous lives.

Because of their potential destructive power, the entire Necromancer school is under the close surveillance of the Empire. So, when did this lich invade his life...?

"Wait, it was the beam of light that struck my chest from the corpse demon!" He looked up at the lich lady for confirmation, "You invaded my body back then?!"

The Lich Lady denied it: "The energy contained in that spell awakened me, but I was already residing in your body before that."

You might be wondering when I invaded your body, but I'm sorry, I don't know. I only gained consciousness and began to perceive this unfamiliar world after the corpse demon's magic struck you.

"An unfamiliar world?"

The Lich Lady frankly stated, "I retain some common sense, but I have forgotten my own life, so until now, I have not introduced myself."

“Then, could you please leave my life?” Lin Jiade asked.

Unfortunately, reality is the opposite of your wishes, and our connection will only grow stronger.

The Lich Lady reached out to Lin Jiade, and Du Juan pulled him behind her. The two looked at each other, and Du Juan said, "I'm sorry, since you don't intend to leave, I'll have to forcibly expel you."

"I don't know who I am, but at least I possess first-level magic. I hope to resolve issues peacefully, but I won't rule out the use of violence."

Azure ripples spread outwards from the Lich Lady, casting a dark, gloomy filter over the room, causing the indoor temperature to plummet and frost to climb onto the glass.

Unseen by Lin Jiade, the attack on the cuckoo's soul had already begun, but suddenly, a pink light shone, and the crisscrossing hair transformed into chains, binding the lich lady tightly.

The lich lady's loose robe tightened, revealing the curvaceous figure of the busty woman. Lin Jiade hadn't realized before that the lich lady was so well-endowed.

Would a lich be considered a non-human?

Lin Jiade, feeling unwell at an inopportune moment, and not wanting to resemble a teddy bear that could go into heat at any time, circled around to the front of the Lich Lady and judged that this ripe fruit was about thirty years old.

Her beauty had not yet been marred by age; her violet eyes held a captivating allure. As the cuckoo stroked the lich lady's marble-like face, she said, "Women are like fruit; the closer they are to decay, the sweeter they become."

Thirty is a dividing line. Before that, they become sweeter and sweeter, and the sweetness masks the fact that they are getting closer and closer to corruption, turning into a seductive beauty.

After that, corruption became a reality, gradually overshadowing her sweet aroma, driving people away, diminishing her appeal, and leading them to chase after the next young but less sweet fruit.

To slow the march toward decay, and to remain more beautiful, women have fought against time with adornments, clothing, medicine, makeup, and magic, and have achieved partial victories—a remarkable feat.

The lich before you was just a hair's breadth away from corrupting this fruit, but her life was ended at the moment when the sweetness reached its peak, before it turned into decay, freezing it in time forever.

Chapter Fourteen: Good News, Bad News

The Lich Lady was unable to speak; Cupid's chains not only bound her movements but also stripped her of most of her functions.

She was filled with doubt and suspicion, and re-examined Dujuan's existence. In her common sense, even a master-level magic researcher would take several minutes to defeat her, but Dujuan subdued her in just a few seconds.

Could this person be from the heavens?

The only blank space in the Lich Lady's knowledge was the Celestial Realm. This was strange, as she possessed detailed knowledge of magic and other races, yet she had completely forgotten about the Celestial Realm.

She looked at the cuckoo with curiosity, and the cuckoo returned the smile. The lich lady was already an undead, but at this moment she still felt a chill, because she saw insatiable greed in that smile, the smile of a predator who had been hungry for a long time for its captured prey.

So, it was unfortunate that her soul resided in a human being protected by a cuckoo.

“At the very moment she was ripe and sweetest, she stopped decaying through death. It was a horrible and cruel beauty,” Lin Jiade exclaimed.

Du Juan smiled and said, "You also really like this ripe, sweet fruit that won't rot?"

"I was just summarizing what you meant!" the young man replied guiltily.

Strangely enough, when Lin Jiade couldn't see the lich's appearance clearly, his mind was filled with the immersive experience of a horror movie. But after he learned that it was a ripe fruit, his feeling was... a little strange.

His House of Lords believes that people should date normal people—meaning that their partner must at least be a person.

After the shock brought by Cupid and Jasmine, his updated version 1.1 of the normal standard broadened the scope of romantic partners to include living beings with humanoid forms and corresponding intelligence.

Therefore, liches are definitely not among the House of Lords' preferences. Unfortunately, sometimes the House of Commons doesn't listen to the House of Lords.

The bound undead's undeniably good figure and mature, elegant temperament became an irresistible temptation, pressing against Lin Jiade's chest. The desire to merge with the lich quietly appeared in his mind, not just physically, but also yearning for the entanglement of souls.

He thought of Jasmine, and guilt made him punch his thigh hard. The pain helped him regain some clarity, forcing himself to extricate himself from the vortex of infatuation with the lich lady he didn't know.

Du Juan gave him an approving look, then held up one finger each and said to Lin Jiade, "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Let's hear the bad news first," Lin Jiade said.

"The bad news is that you and this lich are temporarily inseparable. You are bound by fate, sharing both prosperity and adversity."

"Why? I don't even know who she is?!"