Healing Doctor

Chapter 382 Lingering on the Edge

The suction catheter is a few millimeters in diameter and is slightly hard. It is inserted from the mouth into the pharynx.

The moment the suction catheter touched the nasopharyngeal mucosa, "I" suddenly started coughing forcefully as a conditioned reflex. Countless secretions seemed to gush out at the same time, overflowing from the nasal cavity and the eyes, making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

The suction tube was making a hissing sound, and Ji Xiang knew that this was negative pressure suction removing the liquid accumulated in his respiratory tract to make his breathing easier.

That's what they say, but the stimulation from the suction tube entering the airway was extremely intense. Ji Xiang couldn't feel any pleasure from breathing smoothly; instead, he entered a state of near-death.

The feeling of impending death caused "myself" to twitch in all four limbs, and I used my last bit of strength to try to stop the nurse from suctioning my phlegm.

Ji Xiang never imagined he would go through so much; a simple act of suctioning phlegm caused him unbearable pain.

This level of suffering is no less than that of other diseases.

"Hold him down," the nurse said.

Ji Xiang was somewhat sad.

I've said the same things the nurse said, and even if I've experienced it myself, I'd probably say the same thing again if I encountered a similar situation next time.

But I was really suffering. There was a sharp conflict between treating the illness and making the patient more comfortable.

His daughter immediately pressed down on his upper limbs and said in a tearful voice, "Dad, just bear with it, we'll get the phlegm out."

The suction catheter was then inserted deeper, passing through the nasopharynx and directly into the airway.

What was originally just a slightly stiff suction tube felt like a stick to Ji Xiang. He felt that his airway was filled with the stick and he couldn't breathe in any fresh air.

The wooden stick, due to the negative pressure, continued to suck away the air, making him feel even more uncomfortable.

This isn't saving yourself!

Ji Xiang felt like he was running out of oxygen, and his mind went blank. Logically, there shouldn't be any signs of oxygen deprivation in such a short time, but that was exactly how he felt.

The hissing sound of suctioning continued, and "myself" was held down on the upper limbs, trying my best to escape but unable to do so.

Fortunately, the process didn't last long. After about 20 seconds, the suctioning was completed, and then saline solution was used to flush the tube and remove any remaining sputum to prevent blockage.

"There's too much phlegm, be careful to tap her back more." The nurse was very attentive, repeatedly teaching "her" daughter how to turn over, tap her back, and clear phlegm.

Although she does these operations at home, her daughter still listened patiently and asked about the technical details.

Ji Xiang knew that his daughter loved him and was reluctant to leave him.

As long as parents are alive, home is still home. If parents are gone, home is gone.

Parents are very important guides on this journey of life.

But "myself" really doesn't want to be a reference point anymore.

It's not just about empathy; if in reality one had to suffer like that to survive, Ji Xiang would rather give it up.

At this moment, Ji Xiang had no time to dwell on how he contracted the pneumonia; he was only thinking about how quickly he could leave this world if his condition deteriorated significantly.

The daughter's attachment to her and her efforts to stay in this "hateful" world felt like torture.

Ji Xiang wanted to tell her that he was feeling terrible, but he didn't have the strength to hold a conversation.

Like a fish thrown ashore, he struggled to breathe, gathering his strength to say goodbye to his daughter.

But "I" was still too optimistic.

Less than half an hour later, the nurse came again, this time bringing a nasogastric tube.

A feeding tube was inserted, and liquid food was fed into his stomach... Ji Xiang understood what was going to happen next, but even though he understood, he couldn't accept it.

A tube, slightly softer but thicker than a suction tube, is inserted into the nose.

Even though it was soft, he felt extremely uncomfortable. Especially when the feeding tube passed through his oropharynx, the nurses and his daughter kept telling him to swallow, and Ji Xiang really didn't want to continue.

Even though Ji Xiang was unwilling, the feeding tube was still inserted.

Every time Ji Xiang swallows saliva, the gastric tube rubs against the mucous membrane in his throat, which makes him feel quite uncomfortable.

He recalled a story told by a senior student during his internship—an esophageal cancer patient couldn't tolerate the feeding tube after surgery. After all, there was a tube in his throat, and the irritation caused by swallowing made the patient feel uncomfortable.

The patient removed the gastric tube himself during the night.

Because the patient had just undergone esophageal cancer surgery, inserting a nasogastric tube could lead to anastomotic leakage, so the doctors and nurses dared not insert one and could only explain the situation to the patient and their family.

At this point, the patient became afraid and pleaded desperately to live.

But conditions were limited at that time, and there was no other way. The doctors and nurses were helpless and could only leave it to fate.

In the end, the patient was lucky; on the day the stitches were removed and the patient was discharged, they even sent a banner to express their gratitude.

Ji Xiang still remembers the words his senior colleague used to mock the patient: "If only you had known then what you know now."

However, after experiencing it firsthand, Ji Xiang realized that having a nasogastric tube inserted was truly uncomfortable. Although it did not exceed his pain tolerance threshold, the feeling was different from his previous illnesses.

Whether it's kidney stones, a fracture, or other illnesses, when he feels the pain, Ji Xiang can't wait to see the doctor, to see Professor Zhou.

However, Ji Xiang was well aware that even if Professor Zhou came, he would be powerless to change the current situation.

"I" am already on the verge of death, and no amount of external force can delay the inevitable for a while, but cannot restore "my" health completely.

The key point is that the longer this final period drags on, the more you will suffer.

These days seem endless, and for the first time, Ji Xiang is lost in empathy.

A phrase came to Ji Xiang's mind—"lingering on the brink of death."

He completely forgot the purpose of his visit. How he contracted pneumonia was not important; he only cared about how he died.

I remember when I was in school, my teacher told me that Mr. Ba Jin was in great pain before his death, and the people around him told him that everyone who loved him wanted him to live.

Therefore, Ba Jin had to force himself to cooperate with the treatment no matter how painful it was.

But the immense suffering led Ba Jin to mention euthanasia multiple times. After being refused, he even lashed out at his family, saying they disrespected him.

Even the late Mr. Ba Jin said things like, "I live for you" and "Longevity is torture for me."

During class, Ji Xiang couldn't understand what the teacher was saying, but now he's gradually coming to understand. He not only understands the words, but also why Mr. Ba Jin said those things.

The pain continued unabated; it was worse than death.

The damn feeding tube delivers nutrition every day, and with the intravenous infusion, Ji Xiang feels that "he" has no chance of dying quickly in the short term.

This has become a nightmare, a deep one, leaving "oneself" nowhere to escape.

The final outcome is already decided—death.

Before death? Must he suffer like this? Ji Xiang didn't want to.

(End of this chapter)