I accidentally joined a group of charlatans, so I immediately called the police and handed it over t

The wind from the East China Sea carries a salty, damp smell, like a heavy, waterlogged rag, tightly covering the mouth and nose of this sea area.

The sky was leaden gray, and the clouds were so low they seemed almost within reach, creating an oppressive atmosphere that made it hard to breathe.

Inside the command center of Base 001, the air was so heavy it was suffocating.

Countless eyes were fixed on that huge electronic screen.

On the screen, the red spots representing the US Navy's USS Ford carrier strike group resembled a group of bloodthirsty sharks, cutting through the waves with an unprecedented arrogance, heading straight for the territorial sea baseline.

The public channel was filled with arrogant static.

"This is the U.S. Navy Pacific Fleet. The waters ahead are international waters, and any attempt to obstruct 'freedom of navigation' will be considered a provocation of war."

The voice was cold and mechanical, carrying an air of superiority.

That's the tone of someone used to being the world's policeman.

Li Guobang stood in front of the communications station, the walkie-talkie in his hand creaking under his grip, veins bulging on his knuckles.

He turned his head and looked at Chen Xi, who was sitting on the golden throne.

Chen Xi was holding an enamel mug with the words "Serve the People" printed on it, and was slowly blowing on the tea leaves floating on the surface of the water.

His expression was indifferent, as if the force pressing in from outside was not the world's strongest fleet, but a few annoying flies.

"Chen Xi".

Li Guobang's voice was hoarse, filled with barely suppressed anxiety.

"They're coming in."

"In ten minutes, we will enter the twelve-nautical-mile territorial waters."

"If our coastal defense missiles don't lock on, it's a loss of national sovereignty and humiliation; if they do lock on, it's a full-scale war."

"Is your ship... even up to the task?"

Chen Xi took a small sip of tea without even lifting her eyelids.

"What's the rush?"

He put down his teacup, the porcelain bottom striking the rhodium armrest with a crisp "ding".

"Old Li, your self-control is still lacking."

"Who said we were going to war?"

Chen Xi stood up, straightened his collar, and smiled inscrutably.

"We're going there to do scientific research."

"Conduct meteorological observations."

"Since we're in business, the key is to make money through harmony."

Chen Xi walked to the command platform and pressed the red button that connected to the front line.

"Order."

His tone was flat, yet it could be clearly heard in the deathly silent hall.

"Nantianmen No. 1, departing port."

……

Thick fog blanketed the East China Sea.

Inside the command tower of the USS Ford aircraft carrier.

Fleet Commander Admiral Harris was sipping coffee, enjoying the thrill of having the enemy at his doorstep.

He stared at the empty sea on the radar screen, a mocking smile playing on his lips.

"It seems that the giant dragon from the East is truly afraid this time."

"Five thousand tons of rhenium? Hmph, even if they had it, they wouldn't dare use it to make bullets."

The adjutant beside him chimed in, "Sir, they're probably busy hiding those metal bricks; after all, that's their only savings for their funeral."

Just then, the radar operator suddenly shouted.

"Report! Target spotted!"

"Bearing 0-3-0, distance 15 nautical miles!"

"Quantity...one?"

Harris paused for a moment, put down his coffee cup, and walked to the radar screen.

There was only a solitary point of light.

They were emerging from the thick fog at a leisurely pace, heading straight towards their massive fleet.

"One?"

Harris frowned, his eyes filled with disbelief.

"Is it a suicide drone? Or are they here to negotiate?"

"No... sir..."

The radar operator's voice sounded a bit strange.

"Judging from the radar cross-section, it is a large surface warship with a capacity of 10,000 tons."

"But... its fire control radar is off."

"They didn't even paint the hull number on it."

As the distance closed, the high-magnification optical camera finally captured the true appearance of the ship.

That was a Type 055 destroyer.

But it doesn't resemble any known warship.

Its foredeck was bare, and the once imposing main gun was gone.

Standing prominently is a strangely shaped, silver-gray metal pillar that reaches towards the sky.

It doesn't look like a weapon; it looks more like... a lightning rod?

"Ha ha ha ha!"

A burst of laughter erupted in the command room.

Harris pointed at the screen, laughing so hard tears were almost streaming down her face.

"What is this? Is this their response?"

"A toothless destroyer?"

Is this meant to express their "sincere desire for peace"? Or is it some kind of Eastern feng shui ornament?

The adjutant laughed so hard he could barely breathe: "Perhaps that's their totem, used to pray to the sea god to protect the ship from sinking?"

Arrogance reached its peak at this moment.

In their eyes, this ship, going to the meeting alone, was a joke.

However, at that moment...

A clear, gentle male voice, even with a slight broadcasting tone, suddenly switched in from the full-band public address system.

That was Chen Xi's voice.

"Ahem, a sound check, a sound check."

Good afternoon, everyone.

"This is the 'Thor' atmospheric environment observation ship, which belongs to the 'Nantianmen Meteorological Service Co., Ltd.'"

The laughter in the US military command center stopped abruptly.

Harris frowned and grabbed the communicator: "This is the U.S. Navy. State your intentions! Otherwise, we will take coercive measures!"

Chen Xi's voice remained unhurried, carrying the politeness typical of a shrewd businessman.

"Oh, don't get so angry."

"Our company has just received a business commission to conduct a 'localized severe convective weather control experiment' in this sea area."

Simply put, it's artificial rainmaking.

"Given the high power of the experimental equipment, there may be some... um... rather intense discharge phenomena."

"For everyone's personal safety and property security."

"Whether it's an aircraft carrier, an airplane, or even a passing mantis shrimp."

"Please evacuate the sea area with a radius of 500 kilometers centered on my ship within ten minutes."

Chen Xi paused, his tone revealing an extremely irritating sincerity.

"otherwise."

"What if you get wet, catch a cold, or get struck by lightning?"

"Our company is not responsible."

A deathly silence.

Then, Harris slammed the coffee cup in his hand onto the ground.

Porcelain shards flew everywhere.

"asshole!"

"This is an insult! This is blatant humiliation!"

"Artificial rainmaking? Because the equipment is too powerful? We have to retreat 500 kilometers?!"

Harris was so angry that his face turned red and his neck bulged. He felt like his intelligence was being rubbed into the ground.

"Who does he think he is? God?!"

"If he wants to play, then play along!"

Harris's gaze suddenly turned fierce.

"Order carrier-based aircraft to take off!"

"Two F-35s, armed with live ammunition!"

"Give low to that wrecked ship! Activate fire control radar and lock onto it!"

"I want him to know that telling jokes comes at a price in the face of absolute power!"

"I want him to pee in his pants!"

……

Base No. 001.

Li Guobang's face turned ashen as he listened to the US military takeoff order coming through his earpiece.

"Chen Xi, they've taken off."

"F-35, stealth fighter, contact in two minutes."

"Is your 'lightning rod' really going to work?"

Chen Xi stared at the two rapidly approaching red dots on the screen.

He didn't answer Li Guobang, but instead took out his phone.

Click on the pinned chat group.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: @Leigong.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Sir, are you asleep?

[Thunder God]: Sleep my ass! I'm too angry to sleep! I'm watching Thor 4 right now, did that screenwriter get kicked in the head by a donkey?!

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: That's perfect.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Someone defecated on your ritual implement.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: Just now, two iron birds said they wanted to ride on your "thunder array" and pee.

[Newcomer reporting in, seeking protection]: They even said your thunder magic is feudal superstition, not even as good as a firecracker.

[Lei Gong]: ? ? ?

[Lei Gong]: (Voiceover) "What the hell?! This is outrageous! That's my simplified version of the Thunder Formation! That's the law of the Great Dao! Who dares to call it superstition?!"

[Lei Gong]: (Voiceover) "Kill them all! Now! Immediately! Right now!"

Chen Xi put away his phone.

He turned to look at Li Guobang.

In those deep eyes, a kind of madness called "destruction" pulsated.

"Old Li."

"It looks like it's going to rain quite heavily today."