Sky Curtain: The opening scene explains the four major cases of the Ming Dynasty plus the early Ming

Inside the live stream, the screen was filled with "hahaha" comments, completely drowning out the suffocating power struggles of the previous chapters.

"Alright, everyone, wasn't that post-2000s hardcore civil service exam story awesome? Let's move on to the second one!"

Zhu Dijun picked up his water glass to moisten his throat, his slender fingers tapping on the keyboard. The background on the large screen switched from the entrance of the Ministry of Personnel to a banquet scene of Tang Dynasty literati gathering.

"The Pei Lue mentioned earlier used sarcastic and unconventional language to manage the workplace. But during the Sui and Tang dynasties, when scholars ganged up on each other, there was an even purer, more primitive form of attack—what modern netizens are most familiar with: personal attacks!"

A phantom image of an ancient book called "The Book of Enlightenment" floats in the center of the screen.

"This book records a large number of hilarious anecdotes from that time. One of them is a 'face-bashing' contest that could be considered the finale of an ancient stand-up comedy show! The two sides were Liang Bao, a famous scholar from the Tang Dynasty, and another famous scholar, Zhao Shende!"

Two cartoon portraits with extremely exaggerated styles popped up.

The figure on the left has a face as black as pure anthracite, almost blending into the background. The figure on the right, on the other hand, has a pair of bright red rabbit eyes.

"These two have very distinctive appearances. Liang Bao has naturally extremely dark skin; you probably wouldn't be able to find him if you threw him into a coal pile. As for Zhao Shende, historical records state that his 'eyes were both red,' which translates to a high probability that he had severe conjunctivitis or trachoma, making his eyes bloodshot year-round!"

Zhu Dijun grabbed the gavel and slammed it down.

boom!

"These two met at the banquet, and it was like a clash of titans, setting the stage for a series of mutual attacks!"

Liang Bao took the initiative, looking at Zhao Shende's bloodshot eyes, and sneered as he spoke:

"If there are no clouds in the sky, why is there no predictable pattern to lightning?"

The live stream chat was flooded with question marks.

"Family members, it's okay if you don't understand. What I mean is: There were clearly no dark clouds in the sky today, so why did a bolt of lightning suddenly strike randomly and without any pattern?"

Zhu Dijun pointed at Zhao Shende's bright red eyes on the screen and laughed.

"Liang Bao is cursing Zhao Shende: Your red eyes keep blinking wildly, like blinding red lightning striking randomly in broad daylight!"

"Faced with such a direct attack, could Zhao Shende tolerate it? He immediately retorted, staring intently at Liang Bao's dark face, and directly retaliated:"

"Upon entering, one finds only an inkstone behind the desk!"

"That's even more venomous!" Zhao Shende said. "When I entered the gate just now, I looked around and didn't see a single person. All I saw was a black ink stick standing straight up behind this desk!"

"Good heavens, they've practically excommunicated Liang Bao and turned him into stationery!"

The Great Tang Taiji Hall.

Li Shimin was delighted to hear this, and the civil and military officials couldn't help but burst into laughter as well. Those high-ranking officials who usually dabbled in literary pursuits were actually sharper than knives when they insulted each other in private.

In the back row of the main hall, an elderly official surnamed Liang suddenly turned ashen-faced. He was a descendant of Liang Bao, and due to family genetics, he was also quite dark-skinned and thin.

"This...this brat has absolutely no martial ethics!" Old Master Liang was so angry that his beard trembled, and he cursed in a low voice.

"Just talk about history, why are you trying to imitate my ancestors' appearance!"

On the screen above, Zhu Dijun's narration continued, his pace quickening.

"Seeing how stubborn the other side was, Liang Bao unleashed his ultimate killing move!"

He pointed at Zhao Shende's red eyes and mocked, "The officials use cinnabar, half an eye is enough to supply the whole country!"

"What do you mean?" Liang Bao said, "If the imperial court needs to make red cinnabar paint, they don't even need to mine it. They can just scoop out half of your conjunctivitis, and the red inside will be enough to supply the entire Tang Dynasty!"

"Holy crap! Half an eye for an entire nation? This is an absolutely outrageous technique!"

"When gods fight, their words are just too scathing!"

"but!"

Zhu Dijun suddenly waved his hand, raising his voice.

"Zhao Shende directly met Liang Bao's killing move and completed the ultimate counterattack!"

The last sentence crashed onto the screen.

Zhao Shende looked coldly at Liang Bao: "Polish your little finger, and smear it on the north side of Taishe."

"She, that is, the altar of the She, a huge altar for ancient sacrifices. Zhao Shende's retort was absolutely insane: If you chopped off Liang Bao's little finger and ground it into black powder, that amount of powder would be enough to paint the entire north side of the altar pure black!"

"In this round, Liang Bao was completely overwhelmed. Historical records state—'Bao had no way to counter!' He immediately admitted defeat and surrendered!"

The entire internet erupted in laughter. This purely offensive attack on appearance, devoid of any vulgarity, perfectly showcased the cunning and meanness of the ancients.

"Having discussed the mutual harm inflicted by the Tang Dynasty, let's move the timeline forward."

Zhu Dijun's smile vanished, a sly glint flashing in his eyes.

"In the Tang Dynasty, people relied on metaphors to curse, but in our great Ming Dynasty, scholars took a traditional art to its zenith—that is, [puns and couplets]!"

The Yongle Era of the Ming Dynasty.

Zhu Di, who was still feeling frustrated about the situation during the Zhengde reign, sat up straight instinctively when he heard the Ming Dynasty mentioned.

"Today I'm going to talk about a ruthless figure from the Ming Dynasty. He was a true child prodigy, the foremost scholar in the early Ming Dynasty, and also its foremost critic!"

On the big screen, the phantom image of a young man dressed in a blue cloth robe with an arrogant look appeared.

The three characters were written heavily.

[Solve! Jin!]

Zhu Di's eyes flickered slightly. Xie Jin was a great talent of his Yongle reign, the chief editor of the Yongle Encyclopedia. This young man was quite a troublemaker in his youth.

"This classic street sniper duel took place during Xie Jin's youth. His opponent was Minister Cao, a high-ranking official in the imperial court, dressed in a bright red robe!"

Zhu Dijun tapped his long, slender fingers on the table in a rapid, rhythmic motion.

One day, Xie Jin was walking down the street wearing a coarse green cotton jacket when he happened to run into Minister Cao's sedan chair. According to ancient custom, commoners had to give way to high-ranking officials.

"But the road was too narrow, and Xie Jin was a rebellious fellow, walking very slowly. When Minister Cao saw him from inside his sedan chair, he thought, 'How dare a poor, penniless boy block my way?'"

"To demonstrate his erudition, the Minister prepared a couplet to teach this arrogant brat a lesson. He lifted the curtain and threw out the first line of the couplet—"

"The ignorant puppy complains that the road is too narrow!"

"That's a pretty blunt insult, isn't it? You unruly little dog, don't complain about the narrow road, get out of the way!"

"As a result, Xie Jin didn't even turn his head. He stood there, raised his head, and the second line of the couplet came out without hesitation!"

"The roc spreads its wings, hating how low the sky is!"

boom!

The live stream chat exploded instantly!

"Family members, just look at this layout!"

Judy Jun opened his arms wide, his face full of admiration.

"You call me a little dog blocking my way, I won't take that lying down. Let me tell you, I'm a roc spreading its wings! I'm walking slowly not because the road is narrow, but because the sky is too low, getting in my way of flying!"

In the Yongle era, Zhu Di couldn't help but slap his thigh:

"You lad! How arrogant!"

Upon hearing this, Minister Cao exclaimed, "Oh dear, we've met our match?"

Zhu Dijun drew a high-ranking official in red and a boy in green on the whiteboard.

Minister Cao carefully sized up Xie Jin, noticing his tattered clothes and green cotton jacket, and made up his mind. Round two begins!

Minister Cao pointed to Xie Jin's clothes and threw out the second venomous couplet—

"A toad at the bottom of a well wearing a green coat."

"This not only insulted Xie Jin as an ignorant frog in a well, but also mocked the color of his clothes. It was a double blow, both physically and mentally."

Zhu Dijun's lips curled into an extremely mocking smile.

"Jie Jin was not angry at all. Instead, he looked Cao Shangshu up and down and examined the bright red official robe that symbolized his status as a high-ranking official in the Ming Dynasty."

"The next second, the chillingly veiled second line of the couplet was slapped right in Minister Cao's face!"

"The shrimp in the pot are dressed in red!"

The live stream was silent for a full second, and then the barrage of comments immediately filled the entire screen!

"Hahaha! Perfectly cooked shrimp!"

"Not very offensive, but extremely insulting! From now on, I'll remember this phrase every time I see an official in red!"

In the imperial court during the Yongle reign of the Ming Dynasty.

The atmosphere among the court officials, who had been standing ramrod straight, was now extremely strange. Those ministers and vice ministers who held the rank of third grade or above and wore bright red court robes felt as if ants were crawling all over their bodies.

Shrimp cooked in a pot...

How the hell am I supposed to look at my official robes the same way after this?!

Zhu Di sat on the dragon throne, looking at the group of "shrimp that have fallen into the pot" below. He tried hard not to laugh out loud, but his violently shaking shoulders had already given him away.

On the backdrop, Zhu Dijun had already reached the final climax of his story.

Having been utterly outmatched twice by a child, Minister Cao was utterly humiliated! Enraged, he decided to use the ultimate pun to forcefully turn the tide!

Minister Cao pointed at the lumberjacks logging in the deep mountains beside him, and gritted his teeth as he recited the third line of the couplet!

"Two monkeys were sawing wood deep in the mountains; even the little monkey dared to challenge them?"

Judy Jun grabbed the gavel and slammed it down!

boom!

"The saw in 'saw,' and the sentence in 'sentence'! This is a blatant insult to Xie Jin: Two monkeys are sawing each other in the mountains, and you, you little monkey brat, dare to engage in this kind of sentence-sentence battle with me?!"

Faced with this absurd logic of relying on seniority and using official power to oppress others, Xie Jin did not hesitate at all. Pointing to a horse next to Minister Cao's sedan chair, which had just stepped into a mud puddle, he roared out that absolute line that would be passed down through the ages!

On the screen, ten large, blood-red characters crashed down like thunder from the heavens!

"A horse is stuck in the mud, how can that old beast get its hoof out?!"

In all the myriad realms and timelines, everyone gasped in shock!

"The 'hoof' in 'horse hoof' matches the 'question' in 'question'!"

Judy waved her arms excitedly, her voice hoarse.

"You called me a little monkey who only knows how to answer questions, so I'll call you an old beast who's stuck in the mud and can't get out! You old beast, how dare you give me a question?!"

"A decisive kill! A complete and utterly decisive kill!"

Minister Cao was so thoroughly humiliated by the scolding that he didn't even dare to lift the curtain of his sedan chair again, and ordered the bearers to carry the chair away in a panic!

The live stream was filled with cheers; the thrill of confronting the powerful and influential was more direct than any palace intrigue.