I, Hogwarts Second Time Around.

Chapter 32 If possible, please don't call me a clown.

It was a colossal creature, twelve feet tall.

The skin was dull and lackluster, as gray as granite.

It has a huge body, topped with a small, bald head like a coconut.

Its legs are very thick, with flat, calloused feet underneath. Its arms are long, and its body emits a nauseating stench.

"Well, now it feels like eating in the toilet."

Irving glanced helplessly at the still-sizzling barbecue grill, wondering if it would taste better if he poured barbecue seasoning onto the grill.

"I," Hermione said awkwardly, looking at Owen, Hannah, and Justin with a somewhat bewildered expression.

She clearly instructed Harry to keep an eye on the monster.

How did he end up attracting the monster instead?

"No need to say anything, I know you're here to tell me about the troll invasion." Owen picked up the barbecue grill and walked deeper into the area, saying, "But this is the first time I've ever seen a monster brought here directly!"

He rolled his eyes at Harry, who had already run up to him.

It's no secret that Owen grills meat here; he's invited many Hufflepuff wizards, but unfortunately, apart from Hannah and Justin, none of them are willing to come.

"Help! Huff huff huff~" Harry, panting heavily, bent over with his hands on his thighs, spoke intermittently.

"Help?"

After extinguishing the fire in the stove, Owen continued, "Do you know that with your kind of play where you lure monsters right in front of the DPS, the raid leader will call you a coward, and the tank will call you a dog?"

"But it's alright, who told me to be the successor of Hufflepuff, capable of handling all professions?" Owen raised his eyebrows, a sly smile of a cunning businessman appearing on his face: "Saving a life is better than building a seven-story pagoda, and now there are five of us, well, one, two, three—enough to build Buckingham Palace."

"???"

Hannah and Justin were taken aback. What the heck? Why were they included?

"One hundred gallons per person, no bargaining. I'll take your 499. Leave this to me!"

"What?" Hermione screamed.

Of course, it wasn't that Irving was asking for an outrageous price, but rather that the giant's club was coming at her.

She quickly dodged, but before she could even catch her breath, she saw the twelve-foot-tall monster's eyes light up, and it roared at her before unleashing a barrage of punches and kicks.

"Why are you only pursuing me?"

"Because you have cough syrup!" Irving replied instinctively.

Then his gaze returned to Harry. "So, are you still considering it? I don't mind, but Hermione might not be able to hold on for long."

"You—" Harry gasped, glaring fiercely at Owen, his clenched teeth seeming ready to bite into his elegant swan-like neck at any moment. "You bastard, Owen!"

"I don't have that much money!"

"No money?" Irving seemed to have known all along, his expression remaining unchanged.

After all, no matter how rich Harry is, he can't possibly carry around 500 Galleons with him everywhere.

"It's alright, I have a second plan, Plan B. You just need to pay me fifty gallons, and I can guarantee that none of you will die here tonight."

"How about it? Isn't it a great deal!"

No sooner had Owen finished speaking than Ron, who had run off to rescue Hermione, shouted, "Harry, hurry! We can't hold on much longer!"

The little monster's club swung around with a whooshing sound, and the shockwave from just one sweep was enough to hurt for a long time.

"Okay! I'll give it to you tomorrow. I don't have that much money on me right now." Seeing this, Harry quickly agreed.

"Alright! Thanks for the treat tonight, Mr. Potter." Owen sat back down on the floor and reached out to poke at the eggs on the grill.

"What are you looking at? I only guaranteed you wouldn't die, I didn't say I'd help. Go for it! You've got the invincibility buff, tonight you're undead, you're ashes, you're the faded one! With me here, even if Voldemort comes—I can still escape safely! Go for it! Bring your leg bones! Attack me like crazy!"

"."

Harry finally realized that Owen had never intended to make a move from beginning to end.

The anger that arose from being tricked made him grip his wand tightly and, without the slightest hesitation, turn and head towards the battlefield.

It's just a tiny giant monster, isn't it?

Do you really think he's scared?

Regardless of the outcome, the troop strength in the battle is five to one, giving us the advantage.

Three minutes later.

"Help!!!"

"Kyrie Irving, help me!"

Justin was the first to back down. Let's not even talk about him; he's even worse than Ron. At least Ron would never stoop to asking you to save him.

Ron—um—right—Ron?

Owen, who had circled around the main entrance of the washroom from the inside, was peeling an egg while searching for Ron's figure.

I searched for a long time.

It was only under some broken plank that his figure was discovered.

It seems she has fainted.

It's okay, it's not a big problem. You should have gone to sleep a long time ago. Don't you even know what time it is?

I've been working overtime all day long, and they still don't pay me overtime!

While munching on an egg, Owen casually pulled out his wand.

Then he turned around and in front of the door, cast a wide-range peace-guarding spell and a spell to close his eyes and block his ears.

Go ahead and shout!

Go ahead and shout!

Even if you shout until you're hoarse, no one will come.

Then, the legendary dark hero Irving re-donned his Battle Commander skin, transforming into the Master of Zaun and unleashing a furious tirade against his subjects!

"Harry?!"

"You think you've returned from the Witcher world, you little brat?"

"Roll! Roll at the right moment! What a waste of my training?"

"I've never seen anyone as stupid as you. If I had known, I should have written a Harry Potter story about returning from the French Rings, at least it would have been a 'rolling Gaga' story."

"And you, Justin." He glanced at Justin, who was running away in a panic and almost bumped into Hannah, and became even angrier. "Heavy gift crab! This is the first time I've ever seen someone trip up their own teammate in a team fight."

"Oh my god, I strongly suggest you go see Mrs. Pomfrey and have your brain checked. I seriously suspect you have a problem with your vestibular system!"

"And you, Hannah, are you a mimosa? Do you know what Merlin would say if he saw you struggling to cast a spell?"

"Damn it, this is the first time I've ever seen someone bite their own tongue while chanting a spell."

"I strongly suggest you go and find the legendary Avalon there. Because you might not be suited to a wand, a longsword would be better. Oh, and if you really can't find a substitute, you can ask Neville if he can lend you the Gryffindor sword."

"Bang!" Another sound of a wooden stick shattering the floor rang out.

Owen quickly covered his ears, then continued yelling, "Merlin's beard! If I were Ravenclaw, I'd be furious. Miss Granger, do you even know how old the bricks under your feet are? Do you know that Hogwarts Castle is older than Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle? Look around you, what exactly are you protecting!"

Good heavens, we almost smashed open the entrance to the secret room!

"How about this, Harry, give me five hundred Galleons—no, four hundred and fifty, and I'll roast this big oaf right now, how about it? Simple and convenient, it's only a little money, it's worth it."

"No!" Harry, who was dancing the cha-cha with the troll, stubbornly replied, "We'll get bonus points if we defeat him. Don't interfere; this time—I'll protect Gryffindor's glory!"

I've been revising this for ages, oh my god! I'm laughing so hard I can't even type anymore. And my boss is a real jerk; connecting my computer to the big screen like this is totally baffling. Even though it's for work, it's still—I can't slack off! Slacking off, I can't slack off, I can't live like this.

(End of this chapter)