Nine Nights Owl Song

Winter of the twenty-fifth year of Yong'an.

Luoyang, the imperial city.

Su Jiuge stood by the window of the Imperial Study, watching the heavy snow falling outside.

She has lived in this imperial city for many years, from feeling completely unfamiliar with it when she first arrived to now being able to walk every road with her eyes closed.

But she always felt that this was not her home. Her home was in the Marquis of Dingyuan's mansion, in Cangwu Mountain, in places where the blade could reach, and beside all the people she protected.

Xiao Yan walked up from behind and stood beside her, looking at the snow:

"What are you thinking about?"

Su Jiuge was silent for a moment: "Thinking about the old drunkard."

Xiao Yan didn't speak, but reached out and took her hand.

Her hands were cold, but his palms were warm, just like when he held her hand many years ago at the gate of Liangzhou City.

He held her hand in his palm, as if he were holding a precious, fragile piece of jade.

"Su Jiuge," he called her.

"Um."

"Have you ever regretted it over the years?"

Su Jiuge thought for a moment.

She regretted many things—

I regret not spending more time with the old drunkard back then, I regret killing people I shouldn't have killed when I was in the Dark Pavilion, and I regret pushing everyone away.

But there's one thing she never regretted—

We came from an abandoned residential area and have come this far.

"I don't regret it," she said.

Xiao Yan looked at her and said, "I don't regret it either."

The heavy snow outside the window was still falling, each flake landing on the glazed tiles of the imperial city.

Su Jiuge stood by the window, behind her was the place she had spent twenty years reaching—

She has a lover, a family, the world, and herself.

She's no longer called Ajiu, no longer called Yexiao; she's Su Jiuge, the eldest daughter of the Marquis of Dingyuan, the head of the Dark Pavilion, and the Empress of Daliang.

But to her, she was just a person, someone who crawled out of the snow, weathered the storm, and stood tall in the sunshine.

She touched the straight sword at her waist—

The knife is still there; it's been with her for many years.

Most of the black lacquer on the scabbard had been worn away, revealing the grayish-white wood underneath, and the blade was covered with small nicks and scratches.

She used this knife to kill many people and protect many people.

This is the only thing she will never give up.

Xiao Yan was still holding her hand.

Su Jiuge grabbed his hand in return.

The snow was still falling outside the window, and the distant bells rang, their chimes piercing through the wind and snow, reaching far, far away.

In the winter of the twenty-fifth year of Yong'an, snow fell on Luoyang.

Su Jiuge stood by the window watching the snow, behind her was the place she had spent half her life trying to reach.

She came from the snow, and now she stands in the snow, with her world behind her, and she is no longer cold.

postscript:

I came from the snow, and I will return to dust.

But in my lifetime, I have traveled a long road—

From mass graves to abandoned residential areas, from the Dark Pavilion training camp to the Cangwu Mountain headquarters, from the prison of Luoyang to the walls of Liangzhou, from the flames of war in the north to the misty rain in the south.

I have witnessed too many life and death events, and I have also personally created too many life and death events.

I used to think that living was for revenge, then I realized that living was for living itself, and later I understood that living was so that more people could live as well.

The first character the old drunkard taught me to recognize was "天" (tian, meaning sky).

He said that what was above his head was the sky.

I later looked up at the sky countless nights—

In the ruins of abandoned residential areas, on the rooftops of palaces on Cangwu Mountain, on the city walls of Yanzhou, and in front of the windows of inns on Qingjiang River.

Wherever I go, the sky remains, impartial and unchanging.

It watched me kill, watched me shed tears, watched me grow step by step from a child who only knew how to wield a knife into an adult who could think of "peace and tranquility under heaven".

The old drunkard also said that nine is the ultimate number; one can either reach the pinnacle or be doomed to eternal damnation.

He doesn't know which one I will be, and neither do I.

I just kept walking and walking for many years, until I emerged from that snowy night, from that ruin overrun by wild dogs, and from that dark training camp that taught me "not to trust anyone".

Looking back on the path I've walked to this day—

Along the way, people pushed me, pulled me, waited for me, and accompanied me. I am no longer walking alone.

I learned to trust, to love, and to find a balance between killing and protecting.

I didn't become a heartless knife; I became a knife with a sheath.

The sheath represents the Marquis of Dingyuan's residence, the secret chamber, and those who are willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with me.

The knife will always be there; it will never be sheathed.

Only the hand holding the knife no longer trembled.

If someone asked me what the most worthwhile thing in my life is...

I would say it was from the moment someone picked me up from the snow—

It's not the moment itself, but everything that moment brings.

There are people who are willing to stop in the snowy night, bend down, and extend a hand to a child who is about to freeze to death.

That hand saved my life, and it saved my soul.

Because of that hand, I learned that kindness exists in this world.

Because of that kindness, I had the courage to walk in the darkness for so long.

So I want to say to everyone who walks alone in the dark—

Keep going.

Even if the road ahead is long, even if you have no one to accompany you, even if you feel like you are just a sword without a sheath.

Keep going, and you'll eventually encounter a hand reaching out to you on some snowy night.

Then walk down.

I am Su Jiuge.

I came from the snow, and I walked into the sunlight.

I will continue on this path until the end of my life.

—The End—

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Author's Closing Remarks

"Nine Nights of the Owl Song" has ended.

This story begins and ends in the snow.

Su Jiuge took a full twenty-five years.

Thank you to everyone who has been willing to accompany her on this journey.

You are the ones who paused and lingered on that snowy night, like the old drunkard picking Ajiu up from the snow, giving this story a second life with the eyes of a reader.

The story has come to an end; it's time to say goodbye.

I think Ajiu will continue on this path.

And you are the ever-burning light behind her.

—This book is dedicated to all those who walk alone in the darkness, yet still choose to believe in the light.