I'll wait for you amidst the romance of nature.

Sitting on the sidewalk amidst the bustling traffic, only cigarettes can soothe my loneliness and my confusion about this city. I know I shouldn't use such a negative word as "confusion" to describe my current mood, but when you face thousands of lights and not a single one belongs to you, a lot of uncontrollable negativity will inevitably arise in your heart. But this doesn't mean I'm disappointed in this city; I just want someone to talk to right now.

About ten minutes later, a scooter without license plates finally stopped in front of me. A man with a dreadlock, wearing shorts and flip-flops, lit a cigarette and looked down at me, asking, "Did you book a bed at our hostel online?"

I quickly stood up and asked, "Are you from the Kazein Institute Youth Hostel?"

"Yes, I'm the owner of the hostel. You can just call me Tetsuo."

"Tetsuo?"

He then smiled and explained, "In Dali, not many people use their real names. People who come here want to forget some things, and names are the cheapest thing to forget, so everyone does it."

Iron Man's words stung me, so much so that I remained silent for a moment before replying, "Hello, just call me Michael."

Tie Nan patted my shoulder and laughed, "No need to bring the formalities from the big city to Dali. We're all pretty casual; we don't use 'hello' or 'thank you' at all."

……

Tie Nan drove me through several unlit alleys until we finally arrived at his inn. To my surprise, the inn was pitch black and there was no sign of it being open for business.

As Tie Nan opened the iron gate, he said to me, "Recently, they've been cleaning up Erhai Lake, and all the guesthouses and hotels nearby have been shut down for rectification. Our water and electricity have been cut off, so you're the last guest my guesthouse will take."

"Without water and electricity, can we still make a living?"

"It's alright. I've already run a water pipe and an electric wire from the neighbor's house, so my basic needs can be met... But it's best not to turn on the lights after 8 o'clock, in case someone comes to check."

I chuckled and replied, "No wonder your inn's beds are so cheap!"

"That's right, 15 yuan a day. This price, I'm not bragging, has never been seen in the entire history of guesthouses in Dali... Only I could do something so shameful."

As Tie Nan spoke, he led me into the inn, then opened the door to one of the rooms and asked me, "Are you a smoker?"

I didn't quite understand what he meant by asking that, so I replied conservatively, "Sometimes a little."

"If you're going to smoke, then you can share a room with me."

"No problem... By the way, I see there are quite a few beds in this room. Besides the two of us, there should be other people here, right?"

"There's another guy who sings at the bar, we all call him Coach Ma. He's been living in this room for half a year now, but you'll have to put up with him because his feet smell awful!"

Tie Nan turned on a small table lamp that could barely provide any light, then helped me put my luggage in the closet. He added, "The Wi-Fi in this room is also borrowed from next door. When the signal is weak, you can climb up to the top bunk and get a couple of bars."

These weren't things I cared about too much, but I still replied jokingly, "If you don't mentally prepare yourself for staying here, you really can't stand it!"

"It's cheap."

"Yeah, that means I can buy a few more packs of cigarettes."

……

After settling me in, Tie Nan left. He said he was drinking with friends on Renmin Road and had only come to pick me up halfway through, so he had to go back and finish his drinks with his buddies.

After he left, the entire hostel seemed to be on edge. I guess this guy didn't dare to really go against the policy, so after the large-scale closure and rectification of the hostel, he only took in two long-term guests, me and Coach Ma. I don't know how long Coach Ma will stay here, but I just gave him two months' rent upfront.

I don't mind the hassle of having to rely on others for water, electricity, and internet here; in fact, I quite like it because it gives me a lot of quiet space to think, just like when I was a child, when everything was underdeveloped, but I rarely experienced unhappiness or loneliness.

However, Coach Ma's shoes were so smelly that I couldn't rest in my room at all, let alone eat anything.

……

After sealing Coach Ma's shoes in a plastic bag, I finally had an appetite and ate a bowl of instant noodles. Then I lay on the bed, gazing at the twinkling stars outside the skylight, but felt terribly empty inside. It wasn't until I lit a cigarette that I felt a little bit alive again.

I habitually picked up my phone, but apart from an official message saying "Welcome to Dali," no one else had inquired about me. I wanted to say something to someone, and then I found the last message I had sent to Wang Lei in my chat history.

She asked me: Have you decided when to go to Dali? I replied: I'm still thinking about it...

Right now, I'm in a small inn in Dali, and she's gone forever. How can I not be overwhelmed with emotion?

I really miss her. I want to have a few more drinks with her in some little bar, and listen to her complain in Sichuan dialect about those customers who didn't respect her enough. But she's like a flower that has withered and faded; even if she sprouts again, it can only bloom on a distant shore that I'll never see.

In the dim light and amidst the sound of the tide, I spent all my time speculating. What if Wang Lei hadn't died? What if I had opened a profitable guesthouse in Dali as she wished, and then, a few years later, brought her over so we could run the guesthouse as our home? Wouldn't that have been a wonderful thing?

But the more I make this assumption, the more painful it becomes, because I'll regret it. I should have readily agreed to Wang Lei's request and persuaded her to come along; perhaps then that tragedy wouldn't have happened.

After Wang Lei, I thought of Lu Jia, whose whereabouts I didn't know. I didn't have many emotions, just a little sad because I still loved her.

……

This continued for a while until someone finally contacted me, but it was someone I wanted to avoid. To be honest, after I learned Lao Huang's real motives for asking me to escort Yang Sisi, I was quite repulsed by him. Otherwise, I wouldn't have chosen to buy a plane ticket in Wuhan, intending to leave Yang Sisi behind and travel to Dali alone.

Even now, I still don't understand why I didn't abandon Yang Sisi in the next city after Wuhan, even if she was cheating.

Perhaps it's because she really needs me. After all, such a long journey isn't something a woman can easily handle. Just like that Shanghai woman I met on the road driving a G-Wagon, when she had a flat tire, she could only passively wait for roadside assistance in that terrible weather, but having a man with her made all the difference.

I finally got through to Lao Huang on the phone. He asked with great concern, "Have you and Sisi arrived in Dali yet?"

"We've arrived. We arrived this afternoon."

Did you follow her?

"No, after we arrived in Dali, we went our separate ways."

Old Huang stood there stunned for a full ten seconds before sighing and saying, "Michael, look at you... how could you ignore all my repeated warnings? I told you to go with her so that someone could look after us and help us find her in Dali. Now you're telling me we're going our separate ways? This has ruined my plans!"

I replied with dissatisfaction, "Mr. Huang, let's be reasonable. She's a woman; I can't possibly follow her around everywhere, whether she's eating, drinking, or using the bathroom. If she's deliberately trying to avoid me, how can I possibly keep up with her?"

"We still need to stay in touch!"

I responded to his mercenary and utilitarian attitude with silence.

Old Huang became even more anxious. He said, "Sisi's parents and I are going to Dali in a week. We still have some time. You should contact Sisi as soon as possible. As long as we can find her when we arrive, I, Old Huang, will remember this favor you, Mi Gao, have done for us."

"This isn't about personal relationships at all; I'm genuinely inconvenient."

"Please don't... I've already assured Sisi's parents that I'll definitely find her in Dali. What will I say about that?! Besides, I've sent Xiaobao (Old Huang's son's nickname) back to China, and he'll be coming to Dali with me. So everything hinges on this. I really, really hope Sisi can study abroad with Xiaobao!"

"You're dreaming a good dream, but I still have to tell you, based on my interactions with Yang Sisi these past few days, you might really end up with nothing. You haven't seen her determination to stay in Dali!..."

Old Huang interrupted me: "How could I not have seen that? She had a huge fight with her parents about this before, and I had no choice but to come up with this compromise to calm her down. If you hadn't come to Dali, I wouldn't have dared to have this idea. I would have made sure her parents kept her in Shanghai and disciplined her severely!"

"You're right, but I'm not going to get involved in this anymore."

I hung up Lao Huang's phone after I finished speaking. I didn't want to be bothered by people from Shanghai while I was in Dali.

Unexpectedly, a moment later, Lao Huang sent me another message: "Your dad called the company today to ask about you. He implied that I should look after you. I was careful and didn't dare tell him about your resignation and move to Dali, but your attitude now is really infuriating me, because you don't understand the principle of reciprocity!"

This message sent a chill down my spine. In my memory, my dad did have Lao Huang's office phone number, and during this sensitive period, it couldn't be ruled out that he might contact Lao Huang to inquire about my situation.

This gave me a heavy reminder: even if I had the determination to make a painful decision, it was impossible to completely sever ties with my previous life. What I couldn't bear most was seeing my parents worry about me, so for the first time, I reluctantly bowed my head to Lao Huang and finally replied, "Don't threaten me. As for finding Yang Sisi, I can only do my best. If I can find her, I'll let you know as soon as possible."

Seeing that I had given in, Lao Huang pressed his advantage and launched another sweet-talking attack: "Hey Michael, there's a real opportunity for you right now. There have been some personnel changes at the company recently, and our department has a vacancy for a product manager. If you're willing to come back to the company, I can recommend you to General Manager Lu. After all, you've worked at the company for so many years, and you're definitely capable of handling this position with your skills and experience. Why don't you come back to Shanghai with us this time?"