Excessive ferocity due to caution

"Gray?"

Zhao Yi was surprised.

The corpses he had previously dissected were all memories that leaned towards a yellowish hue. Although they were shrouded in a hazy, decaying layer, making the overall world of memories appear yellowish, they were still colorful nonetheless.

But P's memories are... gray.

Everything was gray.

Heaven and earth, architecture, people...

It was as hard as stone.

They are all the same color.

When P was young, his father was an alcoholic.

If he gets drunk, whip him hard with a rattan cane or a belt.

His mother was often beaten by his father for trying to protect him.

At first, P was terrified, then became angry, and finally became numb.

He's used to it.

The skin wounds on my body will scab over in no time anyway.

This kind of childhood continued until he started school. P's father had spent all the family's money on alcohol, so he had no money to pay P's tuition. As a result, P was unable to study at the age when he should have been studying and was instead forced by his father to work as a child laborer.

P had thought more than once about doing something irreversible while his father was asleep.

Of course, P at that time didn't have the guts to do such a thing.

It was a year later when he finally dared to do it.

Father had no money for alcohol and didn't want to go out to work; the little money P earned as a child laborer wasn't enough to buy alcohol...

So P's father set his sights on P's mother and began forcing her to sell her body.

He would even invite several owners of small liquor shops to his home every now and then.

Every time his mother's heart-wrenching screams echoed from the room, P felt as if something was frantically kneading his heart, causing him unbearable pain.

His father finally got to drink some good wine and beamed with joy.

He would even praise his mother, which is quite rare for him.

One night, P got up to use the bathroom and saw his mother carrying a basin of water, washing herself repeatedly with a brush, leaving a pool of blood on the floor.

But she seemed oblivious to the pain, mechanically brushing over and over again.

She saw that P had stopped crying and only showed a strange and desperate smile.

That was a nightmare that P could never forget for the rest of his life.

That night, his mother hanged herself at home.

The next day, the father found the mother's body in the toilet. He was terrified for only a few minutes before he became furious, roaring and cursing his mother with all sorts of foul language!

Sow, bitch, slut...

P stood behind his father, quietly watching his mother.

She remained the same as before, offering no resistance and no response.

They silently endured everything.

Whether in life or in death.

His mother's desperate, cold smile dealt a heavy blow to P's numb heart, completely waking him up.

Such a gentle, loving mother died so desperately because of his inaction.

This time, P was no longer afraid.

The hand holding the knife didn't even tremble at all; it resolutely plunged into its stomach, and amidst its frantic struggles, it ripped out its heart and lungs...

P disposed of its carcass and flushed it down the sewer...

Finally, P buried his mother and turned himself in to the police.

This is what P used to be like.

He never told anyone.

Including cherries.

During his time in a regular prison, P amassed a wealth of knowledge from the prison library. His talents began to blossom, and over five years, he read every book in the prison library, immersing himself in that vast ocean of obscure knowledge. To his surprise, he discovered that he could briefly forget the painful memories of his childhood.

So... he began to study like crazy.

After being released from prison, P worked and earned some money. He took the independent examination for social personnel and was admitted to the best social university in Z city with excellent results. P spent three years there, completed a thesis on independently designed software program, and successfully hacked into the military's computer system.

This paper marked the beginning of P's legendary status.

The military made an exception and recruited P into their research team, where P met the Cherry couple.

At that time, Cherry's wife, Zhou Ling, was only recently pregnant.

When the memory appeared here, Zhao Yi finally caught a glimpse of color in the gray world.

In P's gray world, the Cherry couple are the only two characters in color.

Cherry's appreciation for talent led him to take a liking to P at first sight, and he genuinely dedicated himself to imparting his professional knowledge to P.

Attentive, warm-hearted, unpretentious, and quick to laugh awkwardly when she realizes her mistakes, Cherry quickly won over P's heart.

P didn't have the money to pay the institute's management fees, so he covered it for P.

When P found out he had no money for food, Cherry let him stay at her home.

P felt as if he had returned to his childhood and seen his loving mother, thanks to the gentleness of his wife, Zhou Ling, and the ever-present smile on her face.

Even under the influence of the two, the grayness in P's memory world is gradually fading, as if the spring breeze has blown over all things, reviving dormant life, and everything is developing in a positive direction.

From the changes in color in P's memory world, Zhao Yi keenly sensed that P was experiencing the beauty of the world for the first time.

He is beginning to accept this cruel world, little by little.

Two years have passed in the blink of an eye.

Cherry confidently handed over the Blue Poison project to P and devoted herself to researching the super-powered collar.

P sensed something strange about the project while working, so he tinkered with a miniature listening device, put it in Akita's water glass, and had Akita drink it.

The listening device would be stuck to the upper edge of the stomach wall.

A few days later, he discovered Akita's conspiracy with the Skull Church.

Shock and fear overwhelmed P.

He began to feel anxious and afraid...

He feared that his past nightmares would repeat themselves...

He feared that those who loved him would die before his eyes once again...

After several sleepless nights, P vowed in his heart that he would stop it no matter the cost!

P prepared for this for three whole years.

Three years later, Cherry completed the invention of the super-powered collar.

P's plan thus began.

He personally sent his teacher to the prison of the desert, watching as the enthusiastic smile on Cherry's face turned into incomprehensible anger and disappointment.

It was from that time onward that P became as silent as his mother.

He finally understood why his mother had remained silent.

Because they are weak...

But there are people she wants to protect.

To implement his difficult plan, P wasted thirty-three years of his youth.

He doesn't get married, doesn't get close to women, doesn't make friends, and has no extra social life.

He lived like a stone.

In the end... he succeeded.

He completely deleted Cherry's database, so that the military no longer had any of Cherry's private information.

P originally planned to write this down in his notebook, and after he finished everything and sent Cherry and his wife and daughter away from Z City, he would send the diary to Cherry.

He so desperately wanted to wipe away the disappointment and heartache in Cherry's eyes, to tell her, "I am your most beloved and outstanding student, and I have never let you down..."

In the end, however, he did not write a single word in the notebook.

P spent more than a decade making peace with himself.

He told himself that he must shoulder what his mother couldn't bear back then.

For those who love him.

For...the person he loves.

PS: This is the second update. I'll rest for a few minutes and then write the third update.

Correct the typos later