The Nightmare Experience of a Useless Person

She is not a god at all, and she knows that better than anyone else.

When she woke up, everything was gone—her mother, father, brother, house, hydrangeas, storyteller… She thought she had fallen into a dream, and that everything would return to normal as soon as the neighbor's rooster started crowing incessantly the next morning. So, she didn't cry or make a fuss.

But that day never came.

The kind-smiling woman in front of her was named Manniang. Manniang told her that a fire had taken away her family, and the kind village chief had entrusted her to this care.

What does "took away" mean?

"Taken away" means burned to death.

And what about Mother?

It was taken away by the fire.

What about Father?

It was taken away by the fire.

What about the older brother?

It was taken away by the fire.

It's false, because the fire didn't take her with it; they were together, so it's impossible that it didn't take her with them.

Man Niang asked, "What's her name?"

She doesn't have a name yet. Her father said that when she's a little older, he'll prepare a good piece of cured meat and ask a tutor to give her a good name. But the cured meat isn't ready yet, so her mother calls her Nannan.

Manniang called her Nannan.

She said no, only her mother could call her "nannan".

Manniang said that she had never been a mother before, but she is now.

Manniang is a female healer with many disciples. She lives in an abandoned temple on the mountain to facilitate her gathering of herbs. Nannan is still young and cannot go down the mountain by herself. She can only move around in a small area on the mountain every day.

She often sat on a low stone slab, gazing into the distance at the small village hidden in a sea of ​​golden flowers. She recognized the flower field, but she couldn't understand the densely packed little houses. However, she still often sat there because her father had said that if you don't understand something, you should look at it more, and one day she would be able to learn it.

Manniang said that the things that rise in the wind like snowflakes in the village are called paper money. Paper money is used for the dead. In order to prevent more people from dying, Nannan will help Manniang administer medicine to everyone.

Nannan didn't quite understand what death meant, but she was very willing to help Manniang.

A small sedan chair lifted the little girl up, so she could go down the mountain. The sedan chair swayed back and forth, it was so much fun!

Nannan dipped the willow branches into the medicine bottle and then sprinkled them on the sick people. Everyone shouted with joy. Every time she waved her hand, someone would shout. It was so much fun!

Once the sedan chair is wheeled back up the mountain, someone will bring you delicious food and fun toys. It's so much fun!

The sedan chair swayed back and forth, and the village had truly stopped scattering paper money; every day, smoke rose from the chimneys, bringing with it the aroma of cooking.

The sedan chair swayed back and forth, and the small village turned into a town. The densely packed little houses gave rise to even more small houses, like a nest of ants crawling on the ground.

The sedan chair swayed back and forth, transforming the dilapidated temple into a tall building, complete with bricks and tiles, exquisite murals, a clean courtyard, and a soft bed.

The sedan chair sways and rocks, the tall building becomes a temple, with vermilion palace walls, glazed tiles, flying eaves and upturned corners, crouching beasts holding pearls, and hundreds of people stepping on the hundred-step staircase.

The little sedan chair swayed and swayed, then grew into a big sedan chair, and the little girl became a great goddess. Finally, the little girl understood all those densely packed little houses.

Taking them away meant they were burned to death.

Manniang wasn't a mother before, but she is now, and she will be in the future.

Everyone revered her as a goddess, but she was just her mother's daughter.

However, looking at the wisps of smoke rising from the chimneys and the lights of countless homes, she felt a warmth in her heart, just as her father had once said, that everything was complete and happy. So, she wished that all the homes along the stream could find peace and joy.

If her prayers allowed the true gods to hear the suffering of humanity and bestow their blessings, bringing harmony to broken families, revitalizing dilapidated villages, and reviving stagnant businesses, then simply having her sit on a high platform as a goddess would be a small expense with abundant rewards.

She began to seriously learn to write, chant scriptures, and pray for blessings. She learned to keep her temper and tantrums to herself, to show a calm smile to all kinds of people, and to accept the loneliness that comes with being a goddess at such a high position.

She grew from a playful little girl into a competent goddess.

More and more people came to the temple. Some came to learn medicine from Man Niang, some came to clean the temple just to have enough to eat, and some hoped to pray for all living beings like the goddess. Moreover, the temple often took in some orphaned girls who had no one to take care of them.

Just looking at them brought her a sense of peace; they, like any other small, harmonious family at the foot of the mountain, had become one big family.

Manniang is everyone's mother, teacher, guide, and the only one Nannan relies on.

……

When Yu Qingjun opened her eyes, Qin'er was already waiting by her side. Today was the day of the goddess's procession, and they couldn't be late.

As always, she wore that magnificent crown, with a touch of gold foil on her forehead, which made her aloofness seem even more unapproachable.

She sat quietly, letting Qin'er comb her hair, apply face powder, and draw her eyebrows.

Jiang Zhiyang stood to the side, completely absorbed in watching. In the beautiful woman's gaze as she looked into the bronze mirror, there was loneliness, pride, and above all, a sincere wish for joy to a thousand people, peace to ten thousand, and lasting peace to the world.

She must be a goddess, Jiang Zhiyang thought.

The procession proceeded smoothly without hindrance.

Yu Qingjun sat regally in the sedan chair, while Jiang Zhiyang followed in the procession. Last time, he had knelt on the ground like everyone else, but this time he was able to stand beside her, gazing up at Yu Qingjun's figure. Jiang Zhiyang also silently made a wish in his heart.

"In this vast sea of ​​people, among all living beings, I wish I could stand by your side every time."

The goddess will pray for his good wishes.

Among the kneeling believers, some were elderly, some were young and beautiful, some were wealthy and powerful, some were poor and had suffered many hardships, and there was even a mother in her postpartum period, holding her newborn child in her arms. They respectfully accepted the medicine bestowed by the goddess, and then a little commotion appeared at the back of the line.

"Mao'er, you go home first." A middle-aged woman's voice, though the owner of the voice lowered her voice, still reached Jiang Zhiyang's ears.

"No, I want to be with my mother! I want to see the goddess!" The child's voice clearly indicated he was still very young.

"Looking at the goddess too much won't do you any good. Listen to me, quickly go back inside." The woman slapped the child on the back and warned sternly.

"Yes, yes, Mao'er, be good and take Pingping with you. Wait until the goddess leaves before you come out," the man beside him chimed in.

Perhaps, their feelings towards the goddess were not as they seemed; beneath their outward respect lay suspicion and fear. Jiang Zhiyang recalled the rumors that the goddess was a vengeful female ghost.

So what is a goddess to them? A medicine pot to cure diseases? A vessel to carry wronged souls? A sacrifice bound to the altar in exchange for peace?

Jiang Zhiyang admitted that his resentment contained a small part of his own malicious misinterpretation, but his displeasure was real. He felt sorry for the goddess and for her sincerity.

Lost in thought, Jiang Zhiyang didn't pay any attention to the group and bumped hard into the back of the person in front of him. Fortunately, the person didn't blame him. Jiang Zhiyang quickly snapped out of his reverie and straightened his posture.

The parade stopped.

"May Your Highness, the Goddess, bless my wife so that she may give birth to a son, ensuring the continuation of the Li family line, bringing harmony, prosperity, and abundance to our home!"

A well-dressed man pulled his wife to her knees, blocking the procession's advance. The woman's belly was prominently pregnant, and Jiang Zhiyang was genuinely afraid she wouldn't be able to withstand the weight of the kneeling.

"How dare you offend Your Majesty! If you wish to pray for blessings, you can go to the Guanyin Temple. Why are you causing trouble here!" The maid in front shouted, but was persuaded to stop by the goddess.

"It's alright."

The willow branches, carrying clear spring water, sprinkled it on the woman, carrying a touch of holiness.

"May God bless the Li family and grant their wish."