The Nightmare Experience of a Useless Person

Qingjun did not abandon this name, which means she never severed ties with that period of time.

Jiang Zhiyang had nothing more to ask. He had only learned this much, and he had found the comfort he needed. He took a few steps back and sat back down in his original seat.

"You've been looking for her all this time? This past year?" Seeing that Jiang Zhiyang had calmed down considerably, Shen Yu relaxed.

"Um."

Jiang Zhiyang closed his eyes, as if lost in memories, a deep smile on his face, but tears kept flowing, making him look even more bitter.

"Because of her, I survived, but I..." He wanted to say that he couldn't let go, but how could he ruin the reputation of the top scholar's wife? "So I want to thank her... I've been asking around with her portrait, but I haven't heard a single word about her, but I... but I don't know how to find her..."

His intermittent words were swallowed by sobs, all his complex emotions vanished, and Jiang Zhiyang cried simply, like a helpless child.

"Then why did you pretend to be blind?" Shen Yu's tone softened. She seemed to understand why the God of Life wanted to see him again.

"No, I didn't..." Jiang Zhiyang seemed to realize his own affectation and tried to calm down.

"It's been too long. Even the person you think about day and night becomes blurry if you can't see her. But when I close my eyes, it's as if she's always there, waiting for me."

Foolish, silly, and hopelessly infatuated.

In fact, after Qingjun left, Jiang Zhiyang's eyesight deteriorated. His vision became blurred, dry, and sensitive to light. But he was still grateful that he could still use his useless eyes to search for the person he longed for.

However, no matter how many people he met, none of them were the one he wanted. Eyes of all sizes and faces of all shapes and sizes could not piece together the face he was familiar with.

One night, Jiang Zhiyang suddenly woke up and found that he could no longer remember what Qingjun looked like. The once familiar scent and aroma had been washed away by time.

Even in his hazy dreams, Qingjun was in a blurry state, so he covered his eyes to preserve the image of his beloved.

Every day after that, he went blindfolded, leaning on a cane, asking around with a crudely drawn portrait. Hope was like a flickering candle, burning weakly, only to be reignited into a raging fire by a dream one day.

He listened to the morning and evening drums with his ears, touched the wind, frost, rain and snow with his fingertips, and felt the spring, summer, autumn and winter with his empty body. He lingered for a long time on the bustling streets.

In a city where she doesn't exist, I'm searching for a woman who doesn't even exist...

Shen Yu raised her hand and wiped the moisture from the corner of her eyes. She felt unable to tell the God Lord this news because her lover was not doing well at all.

At the end of the conversation, Jiang Zhiyang asked Shen Yu's name, as if Shen Yu's existence was a great comfort to him.

This was the only piece of news about her that Jiang Zhiyang had after parting ways with Qingjun, proving that she truly existed. It turned that small spark into a blazing sun, warming him from his chest to his entire body.

……

For a long time afterward, Shen Yu didn't contact Jiang Zhiyang again, perhaps because she was too busy, or perhaps because she didn't like their tragic story.

Until one leisurely afternoon, Shen Yu, wearing a heavy veil, disappeared into the shadows of the mountain forest.

This time she found it: a small courtyard in a bamboo grove on the outskirts of Rongcheng.

But she didn't see her old friend. A family of five lived happily in the courtyard. Shen Yu went up to ask, but there was no news about Jiang Zhiyang.

That's true. What's so great about staying in a house in the mountains? Everyone's just staying temporarily. I bet after a while, they'll move to another place, or it'll just fall into disuse.

Shen Yu walked through the streets of Rongcheng and along the banks of the Kangjiang River, but could not find Jiang Zhiyang. Later, she accidentally entered an academy.

Why did she walk into that courtyard? Because on the low, gray-white wall, the peach tree was in full bloom, its pink and white petals like little boats, carried by a spring breeze, drifting down and landing on Shen Yu's hand, warm and soft, like a kiss.

She raised her head, lifted her veil, and gazed intently at the profusion of flowers under the dim yellow sky. One step, two steps, three steps, she passed through an archway and saw the thick tree trunk.

Just then, a commotion of children came from inside the house. Three or four children grabbed their schoolbags and ran out, their faces beaming with the joy that usually comes after school.

Later, it was a woman who led a little girl across the threshold. The wind blew her hair, revealing a scar on her forehead.

"How many times have I told you? You're not allowed to read storybooks during class," the woman said, glaring and pouting, feigning anger.

"But Teacher Xiulian writes so well, I love it so much." The girl shook the woman's hand, smiling obsequiously.

Hearing such sweet words, no one could resist smiling, including the woman. She could only raise her hand to cover her smile, "Then don't look during Teacher Ayu's class, and during my class... just don't get caught by me."

The two laughed heartily and walked briskly out of the courtyard.

People were coming and going in the courtyard. Three girls came in. Judging from their clothes, they seemed to be pampered daughters of a wealthy family, but their behavior did not.

They carried three bundles of books and entered the house briskly. The children who passed by greeted them.

Shen Yu stood under the peach tree for a while, and some petals fell onto the brim of her hat.

The children who had finished school had mostly dispersed. A little while later, the three girls also came out of the school, followed by a tall and thin scholar.

"Ah Li, really, you don't need it. I don't need it." The scholar followed behind the tallest girl and stuffed a purse into her hand.

The girl didn't take it, but hurriedly ran a few steps. "I told you, it's from Master Qiao. He asked you to make friends with other students on your way to the exam. He said he'd have to give you some money, so just accept it."

"If you don't accept it, Master Qiao will ignore you and won't let you into the Qiao Mansion to play with us next time." The youngest girl nudged the scholar's waist, deliberately teasing him.

The group chatted and laughed as they walked towards Shen Yu. A girl with a peach blossom in her hair met her gaze, smiled, and asked, "Are you here to pick up your child, miss?"

Shen Yu smiled and shook her head. "I'm looking for someone named Jiang Zhiyang. He used to always be blindfolded, using a cane, and carrying a portrait while searching for people on the street. Have you seen him?"

Before Shen Yu could finish speaking, the girl's expression turned serious. "You're looking for Brother Zhiyang?"

"I've found the right person," Shen Yu nodded thankfully, shaking off a few petals.

"Who are you?" The other two girls also stepped forward, looking at them with concern.

"Hmm... an old friend. I'm revisiting this place and would like to pay him a visit."

The group exchanged glances, and finally, the tallest girl spoke up, "He has already left Rongcheng. We don't know where he went. We only know that he went north, so he'll probably be hard to find."

Heading north all the way, could it be that he went to find the God of Life and Wish? Shen Yu was amazed by his infatuation. So much time had passed, and she thought that Jiang Zhiyang would let go of the past, live a good life, or meet a girl, a girl who could open his heart.

No, he still couldn't let go. For that hazy image in his heart, he became a wandering traveler.