The Nightmare Experience of a Useless Person

Legend has it that in the beginning of all things, heaven and earth were united, indistinguishable chaos, with clarity and filth mingling, and day and night without end, and life and death without boundaries.

Until a bolt of purple lightning descended upon the world, splitting open the rift between heaven and earth, and there, the only god in the beginning of chaos was born.

God originated from a seed. It swelled, sprouted, and grew rapidly. With its own strength, it broke through heaven and earth. Its lush branches supported the sky, and its intricate root system nourished the earth.

After the creation of heaven and earth, the pure and the impure separated, and spiritual energy arose in abundance, quickly giving rise to various forms of beings. Among them, the most intelligent and powerful were bipedal beasts, who called themselves humans.

Humans are intelligent; they are good at thinking and creating. With their wisdom, they roam the world, explore all things, and label other living beings.

Those who swim freely in the water are fish, those who soar in the sky are birds, wolves eat sheep, cats and mice fight, dragons roar, tigers howl, monkeys cry, cranes cry, and that deity, people respectfully call him, Wangtian (Looker of the Sky).

"Lord Shengyuan, it seems you have a new name," said Wangtianshu. "Yu Qingjun, it is indeed a good name."

Such kind words, yet not praise, were met with silence as Qingjun knelt quietly, her expression unreadable.

"But you should know that the gods are the most impartial. Names create constraints, entangle cause and effect, and thus give rise to bias."

"Justice is not about being unaware of joy and sorrow, or unable to distinguish between good and evil. I was wrong, but I don't believe that kind of justice is entirely correct." Qingjun lowered her head, her words cold. She knew she shouldn't contradict the gods, but she still subconsciously defended herself.

Like a child, the Sky Tree smiled. All things in the world, all living beings, operate under its protection. There is nothing he does not know, and nothing he does not understand.

Seeing Qingjun's stubborn appearance, he thought of the gods who had fallen in the past. They were just like Qingjun, kneeling in the same place, questioning the same question, and falling to the same fate. Suddenly, his desire to argue with the heavens diminished by three points.

"Gods, whose sorrow should you grieve for? Whose joy should you rejoice in? Good and evil, right and wrong, from whose perspective are they judged? You should be glad that you have met a kind person, but you should also know that things in this world are not clearly black and white, but rather a chaotic state like the alternation of dawn and dusk. All you should do, and all you can do, is to maintain order and allow all things to continue to exist."

Order is the cycle of seasons, the rising and setting of the sun and moon; survival is the survival of the fittest, the survival of the strong preying on the weak.

It makes sense, but it's not pleasing.

Wang Tianshu's words reminded Qingjun of her confrontation with Jiang Zhiyang that day. However, today, she was in Jiang Zhiyang's position.

How unpredictable life is! Even now, Qingjun can understand the teachings of the Wangtian Tree and comprehend Jiang Zhiyang's words, but what about herself? She is in a state of confusion, caught in a thousand thoughts, trying to find the source of everything.

Perhaps she is no longer suited to be a god... The narrative of a god is too grand. It's better to be an ordinary person, to meet, to experience, to feel, to see good and evil intertwined, to distinguish right from wrong, and to sort things out little by little, to discern them one by one.

She needs freedom; if she wants to fight for the weak, then she will fight; if she wants to defend the good, then she will defend; if she loves, she will boldly possess; if she hates, she will confront them with a blade.

She had already been influenced by that silly boy.

"Lord of the Heavens, just tell me what punishment I will receive."

"Alright." The Sky Tree was merciful after all, giving Qingjun two choices.

"First, twenty-four bolts of heavenly lightning."

Fortunately, it was just some physical pain.

"The twenty-four heavenly thunderbolts correspond to the twenty-four solar terms in the mortal world. When you are punished, thunder will also rage and rain will pour down in the mortal world. Presumably, at that time, there will be widespread suffering and starvation everywhere."

Why? Why can't we just punish her?

"I choose the second one," Qingjun blurted out, a slight pain finally seeping into his numb heart.

"Secondly, considering that the desire for life in the mortal world is flourishing, and we cannot wait for the old gods to fall and the new gods to descend, I will order the Lord of the Underworld to arrange a lantern-bearing messenger to guide you across the bridge and river, and back into the divine path. From then on, you will forget your past life, sever all ties of cause and effect, and in this world, there will be no more Yu Qingjun, only the Lord of Life and Wish."

If she forgot everything, then Yu Qingjun would die... But she made a mistake, and she had to bear the punishment herself. Moreover, compared to those twenty-four heavenly lightning bolts that would break bones and destroy souls, merely walking across the Bridge of Rebirth was far more merciful than she had imagined.

Qingjun closed her eyes, sinking into a vortex of memories.

The first image that came to mind was Jiang Zhiyang's eyes—smiling eyes, tearful eyes, eyes reflecting the fireworks, clear as water, lustrous as jade, sometimes revealing a hint of clumsiness, illuminating his thoughts perfectly.

When they met again on the streets of Rongcheng, he stared blankly at Qingjun, which startled Qingjun so much that she had to move her mask and look away.

When he first got off the donkey cart, he supported himself with his legs so that Qingjun could step on him. He clearly sensed the malice, but he just awkwardly scratched his head.

In front of Jiang Shuo, he always had to show off, even if it was just standing on tiptoe to be a head taller than the other person, he would still be as proud as a child.

At the Laba Lantern Festival, they embraced and kissed.

In the bamboo grove courtyard, they entwined and slept together...

Memories of him, like spring grass nourished by rain, grew wildly in Qingjun's barren heart. Wangtianshu was right; she was biased. She should admit her bias, feeling sorry for one person and adorable for another.

The people of Leshantang, Xiulian, Ali, Xiaotao, Xuanxuan, Jiang Shuo, Aunt Dong and Lao Jiang, even Alang, Cang Er and Ma Tang, and the messengers of Shengyuan Divine Realm, A Wu, A Liu... Qingjun met too many people and left behind too many beautiful memories.

They were like a gust of wind, bringing peace to Qingjun and preventing her from falling into stagnation; the ripples they created will never cease.

Reluctantly, Qingjun truly couldn't bear to part with it. She couldn't even bear to give up her name. Tears streamed down her face, flowing into the corners of her mouth, bringing a bitter taste to her mouth.

"We should set off." A very soft voice came from beside us; it was the Lord of the Underworld's people.

Perhaps due to extreme exhaustion, Qingjun's body, which she barely managed to prop herself up, went numb, and her nerves stopped thinking.

Blank, everything was blank. She gripped the apple in her hand tightly and stared intently as the lantern bearer lit a lamp—the candlelight from the spirit lamp. They were about to set off.

My heavy body swayed, and bitter tears welled up in my eyes again. At this moment, it seemed that all my senses were left only with the apple in my hand.

A perfectly round apple, the apple that can save Jiang Zhiyang.

Could you at least give him this apple?

The Qing Emperor looked up and, upon seeing the lantern bearer's slender nape, finally struck him hard.

Please forgive her, allow this disqualified god to indulge in one last act of madness for her own selfish desires...

"Poor girl, it's my fault. Please wait for me by the Bridge of Rebirth. An hour is fine, but no need. I'll be back in half an hour."