American comic: From Beijing with Love, starting with a mutant.

"Alright, stop being so sentimental. It's like you're going to go crazy in the snow in Tiny Times."

Stephen Chow interrupted Darwin's internal monologue about capitalists.

He himself understood that this attempt to get something for nothing was somewhat unethical, but moral principles are like water in a sponge—they can always be squeezed out if you push hard enough.

"Hurry up and pack up, we need to get out of here before these bastards from Yinfeng realize what's happening."

"Run away? Tell me how? Spread wings and fly away?!"

The ape-man scratched the back of his head. "I know a way."

He pointed to the howling wind and snow outside the cave entrance: "Follow the direction the wind is blowing, cross two snow-capped mountains, and pass through a thorny forest, and you will see many, many hairless people like you."

Darwin was immediately displeased upon hearing this:

"Climb two snow-capped mountains? On foot?! I'm not going! I'd rather freeze into an icicle here than engage in extreme survival with you! I'm not going to die anyway! You guys can go die!"

After half an hour.

On the vast snow-covered plain, three figures struggled to move against the white wind, demonstrating with their actions what it means for the human nature to be truly captivated by something.

Leading the way was the ape-man, striding as if walking on flat ground.

In the middle is Stephen Chow, whose suit is equipped with a temperature-regulating system, but the physical impact of the wind blowing on his face still makes him shrink back.

Darwin, walking at the very back, had evolved a thick layer of fat over most of his body, making him look like a walking Michelin Man. He was cursing and swearing, spewing out a long string of swear words without any profanity as white mist.

"Stop complaining! Just consider it a company-organized winter outdoor team building activity! It's good for your health and willpower; where else can you find this kind of benefit?"

"I'm looking for your grandpa..." Darwin's voice was mercilessly drowned out by the raging wind.

The three of them trekked through the snow for nearly two days.

Finally, the outline of a row of houses appeared on the horizon, and icy asphalt roads could even be seen by the roadside.

Upon reaching the edge of the town, Stephen Chow's phone began vibrating incessantly in his pocket.

We have a signal!

Comrade Zhou hurriedly pulled out his phone, and upon closer inspection, found it was full of missed calls and text messages.

He ignored the "reminder of business trip progress report" sent by Director Wang and directly dialed a familiar number.

Slug.

He was kidnapped by Magneto, and all his money was left in the passenger seat of the pickup truck!

There was also a stack of US dollars that he had pulled out of Deadpool's crotch!

The phone rang for a long time before it was finally answered.

"Feed?"

The phone line was filled with deafening electronic DJ music, and you could vaguely hear a woman's giggles and the clinking of glasses.

Stephen Chow held the phone further away and yelled at the top of his lungs, "You snotty brat! Where the hell have you been! Where's my money?!"

There was a two-second silence on the other end, followed by a burst of maniacal laughter.

"Oh my god, Director Zhou! You're still alive? I thought you were already feeding sharks at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean!"

"Stop talking nonsense!" Stephen Chow was furious. "Where are you right now? What's with this background noise?!"

"I'm in Las Vegas!"

Snotty-nosed shouted at the top of his lungs, "Brother Zhou, I'll spend the money you left in that car for you! Don't worry, I'm a man of principle. I booked this booth tonight under the guise of celebrating your seventh day after death!"

A sweet, coquettish female voice came from the background: "Brother Chong, open another bottle of Ace of Spades, please~"

"Open! Open it now! Tonight's entire bill will be paid for by Mr. Zhou on his seventh day after death!"

Stephen Chow's vision went black as he suffered an angina attack. He clutched his chest and leaned against a nearby utility pole, panting heavily.

孽 孽!

He used his business trip funds and Deadpool's savings to go to a nightclub and gamble on the Ace of Spades?!

That bastard even used his money to pick up girls!

"You just wait!"

Stephen Chow gritted his teeth, his eyes turning red: "You better pray I don't catch you! Otherwise, I'll stuff you into a meat grinder and turn you into a pissing beef ball!"

"Beep beep beep..." The other end of the phone hung up immediately.

"What's wrong?" Darwin leaned closer, looking at Stephen Chow's murderous expression. "Did your wife find out about your secret stash of money during a check-up?"

"It's much worse than that."

Stephen Chow took two deep breaths to calm his blood pressure, then turned to look at the ape-man next to him who was curiously staring at the lamppost and sniffing it.

There aren't many people in this town, but cars occasionally pass by.

With its black fur and imposing physique, the ape-man could cause a chain of car accidents and call the police throughout the town if he walked down the street.

"Brother Monkey, stay in the bushes and don't move."

Stephen Chow rushed into a secondhand general store on the side of the road in the small town.

Less than five minutes later, he ran out carrying a bunch of colorful things.

"Come on, put it on."

The ape-man took the thing and rummaged through his body for a long time.

This is an oversized floral bed sheet with two holes cut out in the middle by Stephen Chow.

It was put on his head, completely covering his black fur, leaving only two big, blinking eyes visible.

"What kind of disguise is this?" Darwin covered his face. "Isn't this just a pervert draped in a floral bedsheet? It'll only make him more conspicuous on the street!"

"You don't know anything, this is called adapting to local customs and traditions of ethnic minorities."

Stephen Chow patted the ape-man on the shoulder, "As long as he doesn't speak, if anyone asks, I'll say that he's my distant cousin who has severe atavism with hypertrichosis."

Zhou Xingxing rubbed his hands together, leaned closer to Darwin, and plastered a fawning smile on his face: "Little Darwin, look at our situation right now, there isn't even a decent car rental shop in town. Do you have any... means of transportation to Los Angeles? Like, something that can grow longer legs or a propeller?"

"Los Angeles?!" He stepped back three meters.

"When did I ever say I was going to Los Angeles with you?!"

"I don't care who you're messing with or digging for dinosaur eggs! That's none of my business! I didn't sign your shady contract, and I'm not your employee!"

Darwin pointed to himself, trembling with rage. "I just want to be a quiet popsicle in Alaska! Get the hell out of here!"

Seeing that this man was about to strike, Zhou Xingxing rushed forward and grabbed Darwin's hand, his face full of sincerity and heartache.

"Brother! Brother Da! Grandpa Da!" Stephen Chow forced out two crocodile tears. "Please help me! Look at me, I have elderly parents and young children to support. If I don't meet my KPI this time, Fatty Wang will definitely sacrifice me when we get back!"

Don't worry!

Stephen Chow raised three fingers to the sky and swore, "As long as you get us to Los Angeles, we'll go our separate ways as soon as we land! I won't stop you! I'll even personally pay for your first-class ticket back to Alaska!"

Darwin stared at him suspiciously: "Really? No hard selling?"

"More real than pearls! My word, Stephen Chow, is as good as nails!"

Darwin gritted his teeth and hesitated for a full minute, glancing at the ape-man next to him who was draped in a big floral bed sheet and grinning foolishly, and then at Stephen Chow's shameless, stalker-like appearance.

"This is the last time! Once we're in Los Angeles, you go your way, and I'll go back to my Alaskan home!"