Just because I wrote "Zhu Xian," the school beauty sent me razor blades.

The "nuclear-level" earthquake triggered by the finale of "Chinese Paladin 3" is still spreading wildly on Weibo's trending topics, with the wave of condemnation against the "heartless old scoundrel" Lin Yuan growing ever stronger.

However, at the absolute core of this storm, Lin Yuan was currently wearing comfortable gray plaid pajamas, engaging in a life-or-death tug-of-war over dignity with a three-month-old American Shorthair and white kitten at home.

The restroom was filled with steam.

"Lin Yuan! Grab it by the scruff of its neck! It's trying to escape! Dodge to the left! That's a Meow Meow Punch!"

Gu Zhiwan was wearing a large apron with SpongeBob SquarePants printed on it, non-slip slippers, and her sleeves were rolled up high. She was holding a pet shower head and yelling at the cat in the bathtub, which was soaking wet and had its fur standing on end.

The kitten "Matuan" was soaking wet, looking like a dehydrated gourd pulled from the ground. Its two pink paws were frantically splashing in the water, and the splashes of water hit Gu Zhiwan all over.

"Don't act like you're commentating on esports, supporting its lower body with a towel."

Lin Yuan remained calm, his left hand precisely pinching the scruff of Ma Tuan's neck, while his right hand lathered up the pet shampoo, expertly scrubbing the cat's back while spitting out sarcastic remarks:

"You're a household name, a big star, and you're all flustered trying to give your cat a bath. If those millions of viewers who were criticizing me on Weibo tonight saw this, they'd think you were fighting an alien to the death."

"Stop talking nonsense! This kid always listens to you; the moment he sees me, he thinks I'm a cook about to start cooking!"

Gu Zhiwan wiped the water off her face with a towel while angrily rubbing the foam onto Lin Yuan's arm, but a smile she couldn't hide was playing on her lips.

Under Lin Yuan's painless scrubbing and massage technique, Ma Tuan miraculously gave up resisting, instantly degenerating from a "fierce cat descending the mountain" into a puddle of soft mud, even making a gurgling sound of enjoyment in its throat.

After finally washing and drying the kitten thoroughly, Gu Zhiwan looked exactly like she had just been pulled out of the water.

"I can't take it anymore, I'm so hungry I could eat a whole cow." Gu Zhiwan rubbed her stomach and followed Lin Yuan into the kitchen. "Director Lin, how about showing off your cooking skills tonight? I'll be your star assistant."

"Being able to distinguish between light soy sauce and dark soy sauce is already the biggest contribution you can make to this dinner."

Lin Yuan casually tied the apron around her waist, and while tying the rope, he pinched her waist, which made Gu Zhiwan playfully pinch his arm.

Soon, the kitchen was filled with the smell of cooking.

Although Gu Zhiwan's cooking skills were lacking, she was extremely enthusiastic about helping out.

When Lin Yuan was chopping vegetables, she handed him a plate; when Lin Yuan was stir-frying the meat, she held up the pot lid and stood three meters away to block him; when Lin Yuan was adding slices of meat, she stood beside him with a spatula and shouted "Go for it!"

"Gu Zhiwan, are you cooking or commanding a battle?" Lin Yuan tossed the wok, looking at the person next to him who looked like he was facing a formidable enemy, and the corners of his mouth kept turning up.

"That's called atmosphere! Don't you know what it means to be an emotional value provider?" Gu Zhiwan puffed out her chest confidently, picked up two bowls to serve rice, and casually stole a piece of freshly cooked sweet and sour pork ribs and stuffed it into her mouth. She was so hot that she was panting, but her eyes shone like stars.

Three dishes and a soup were served: the cola chicken wings were bright red, the sweet and sour pork ribs were tempting, the steamed yellow croaker was fragrant, and a bowl of refreshing tomato and egg drop soup was added.

"Wow—old man, it's a huge loss to the film and television industry that you're not opening a restaurant with your skills!" Gu Zhiwan picked up a chicken wing, her eyes narrowing into crescents with satisfaction.

"Eat quickly, and you can wash the dishes after you finish," Lin Yuan said, raising an eyebrow.

"Why should I be the one washing? I was just doing the important job of being the head chef's assistant!"

"Because you just ate three pieces of pork ribs and two pieces of chicken wings, and you also picked all the seaweed out of the egg drop soup." Lin Yuan slowly took a sip of soup and directly exposed him.

"...Fine! I'll wash it! Even capitalists don't exploit you as much as you do!" Gu Zhiwan took a big bite of the rib and said stubbornly.

Half an hour later, in front of the kitchen sink.

Wearing pink rubber gloves, Gu Zhiwan hummed a song while washing the dishes.

Lin Yuan leaned lazily against the stove, occasionally offering a few words of guidance.

"There's still oil on the edge of the plate on the left. You used too much dish soap. Are you giving the plate a soapy bath?"

"Lin Yuan! If you stand here like a supervisor and oversee the poisoning again, I'll smear the foam on your face!" Gu Zhiwan turned her head and glared at him fiercely, then shook the water off her gloves.

After a satisfying meal and a tidy-up, the most enjoyable nightlife officially begins.

Lin Yuan held a hairdryer in his hand, turning on a warm, soft breeze. His slender, warm fingers ran through Gu Zhiwan's smooth black hair, patiently and meticulously drying her hair.

The wind was whistling, and a romantic movie was playing on the large TV in the living room.

Gu Zhiwan held the remote control in her hand, enjoying the comfortable massage on her scalp while frantically pressing the channel-changing button.

Switching from the news channel to the sports channel, and from the food channel to the pet channel, the remote control was pressed at machine-gun speed in her hand.

"Pressing so fast, how can you even see which channel is playing what?" Lin Yuan held her hand, the hairdryer gliding along her hair.

"This is called treasure hunting! What if we find your embarrassing past?" Gu Zhiwan didn't even turn her head, leaned back, and fell directly into Lin Yuan's arms. "Lin Yuan, your hair-drying skills have improved. If you don't become a director in the future, you'll definitely be the top hairstylist at the hair salon."

"If I only charge a few dozen yuan for a haircut and only take one customer like you, I'd probably starve." Lin Yuan turned off the hairdryer, patted her head, and let the loose strands of hair smell nice. "Okay, it's dry. Don't get sleepy."

"Who said I'm sleepy? I'm wide awake!"

Gu Zhiwan snapped her fingers instantly, switching the TV signal directly to the game console interface. She tossed a controller to Lin Yuan and grabbed a pink one for herself.

"Come on! Let's team up and beat this level! No one's allowed to sleep until we clear it tonight!"

Five minutes later, an extremely comical scene appeared on the game screen.

This classic 3D action platformer game requires two players to cooperate seamlessly and draw each other's attention.

Gu Zhiwan's operation can be described as "precious footage of early human attempts to tame a controller".

She controlled the heavily armored female warrior, leading the charge and roaring as she charged into the monster horde.

"Watch me sweep away all enemies with one move! Watch my super invincible strike!" Gu Zhiwan frantically pressed the buttons on the controller while shaking it wildly with her body movements, as if this would increase her damage output.

However, in the scene, her character didn't even have time to use any skills before being surrounded and brutally beaten by three monsters, and her health bar plummeted at a visible speed.

"Gu Zhiwan, are you going to fight monsters, or to deliver New Year's gifts to the monsters?"

Lin Yuan watched from the sidelines, his eyelids twitching. He skillfully controlled his character to dodge and backstab, while also throwing out a control skill to help her out of the predicament.

"Positioning, positioning! You're pressing dodge, not getting right up in front of the monster and offering yourself up! This is pure suicide tactics."

"What do you know! This is called the spirit of 'Bright Sword'! When paths cross, the brave prevail!"

Gu Zhiwan was as stubborn as a duck. She had just been rescued by Lin Yuan, but she made another reckless charge, stepping directly into a trap on the ground and inadvertently attracting the second wave of elite monsters hidden nearby.

The screen flashed red instantly, and an alarm blared.

"Lin Yuan, save me! Save me! It bit me! Kill it!" Gu Zhiwan screamed, her hands leaving afterimages as she pressed buttons on the controller, her character spinning around like a headless fly.

Lin Yuan sighed, rubbing his forehead. "With a move like that, if you played a single game in a professional esports league, the opposing coach would present you with a plaque that says 'Boundless Love.' Run to the left, don't lead me this way—"

"No! We'll die together!"

Seeing her character's health bar almost empty, Gu Zhiwan completely gave up resisting.

She threw the handle onto the sofa, turned around abruptly, and pounced on Lin Yuan like a little female leopard!

"Lin Yuan! How dare you be so sarcastic towards me! I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget for mocking my skills!"

Gu Zhiwan straddled him, reached out with her two small hands, precisely pressed Lin Yuan's cheeks, and pulled them apart forcefully, directly stretching Lin Yuan's usually cold and handsome face into all sorts of funny shapes.

It took less than half a second to go from "game controls" to "physical dimensional reduction attack".

The controller fell onto the blanket, and the two characters in the game were instantly killed, with a huge "GAME OVER" message popping up on the screen.

"Gu Zhiwan, if you can't beat someone, you resort to violence. This is just being unreasonable."

Lin Yuan was forced to have his face pressed down by her, his tone somewhat indistinct, but his eyes were full of indulgent laughter. He naturally wrapped his arms around her slender waist to prevent her from slipping off him.

"So what if I'm being unreasonable?" Gu Zhiwan leaned down, their breaths almost touching. She blinked her big eyes, a smug smile playing on her lips. "You torment the audience in the script, and I torment you at home. What goes around comes around!"

"Oh? Then I'll have to cooperate with you properly."

Lin Yuan raised an eyebrow, and suddenly tightened his grip on her waist, flipping her over and firmly pressing her onto the soft sofa cushions.

"Lin Yuan! You fouled!" Gu Zhiwan exclaimed, her face instantly turning bright red, her previous arrogance vanishing completely.

"The game is over, Mr. Gu."

Lin Yuan looked down at the beautiful girl in his arms, whose eyes sparkled with both panic and sweetness, and a dangerous yet alluring smile curved his lips:

"Now is the time to settle personal scores."