Mud beads

When Echizen returned to the house, it was already past midnight.

There was no light in the entryway, the curtains were drawn, and the living room was pitch black. He stood at the doorway changing his shoes, his coat draped over his arm, and he still smelled of cigarettes and alcohol.

A faint white light shone through a door on one side of the corridor, spreading thinly across the floor.

Echizen frowned and walked over.

The computer in the study was left on.

He walked to the table, where the light from the screen illuminated the surface and the brown envelope placed in the center.

He pulled out a chair and sat down.

The envelope was sealed, the paper perfectly flat, even its orientation was aligned with the edge of the table. There wasn't a single word left beside it, as if it were awaiting his signature.

Koshima Toru tore open the seal and pulled out the contents.

At the top is the neatly prepared royalty settlement sheet. The project name, publication date, and participants are all clearly listed in black and white. Yu Zhu's name is at the end, followed by her share of the payment.

Below is money.

Not much.

It doesn't even cover the cost of one night in her hospital stay.

Echizen's gaze lingered on Yu Zhu's name.

Ji Yong's voice still lingered in my ears.

She never paid it back?

His hand, gripping the paper, slowly tightened, then loosened before creases appeared.

Inside the envelope was a narrow white card, only about two inches wide, sandwiched between the banknotes and the settlement slip.

Echizen Toru pulled it out.

The pen strokes were thin and delicate, the ink completely dry.

You are free, full of endless possibilities. That's wonderful. I sincerely pray that you can believe in yourself and live your life to the fullest without regrets.

Keigo Higashino.

The lights inside the computer case shifted quietly and slowly, dimming the light on the desktop. Echizen Toru looked down for a moment, then put the papers and cards back into the envelope, and placed the envelope in the desk drawer.

Shut down the computer.

The screen went dark, plunging the study into complete darkness.

There was no sound at the other end of the corridor. Yu Zhu must have already fallen asleep; the door was tightly shut, and not a ray of light could see in.

After receiving the money, she didn't even open it to check the contents before taking it straight to his study.

Now, all he has to do is stand up, walk over, and knock on that door to hear her tell him what the envelope means.

But some accounts seem to be permanently sealed away once they are settled.

Moth

As always, Yu Zhu woke up very early in the morning.

It was quiet around her, without even breathing. She leaned closer to the side, her fingertips touching only a slightly cool surface.

No one has ever lain there.

She lifted the covers and got out of bed.

There was a thick carpet under the bed, soft and warm to the touch when she walked barefoot. She reached for her white cane at the head of the bed, unfolded it, and slowly walked along the wall toward the bathroom.

As soon as I reached the door, I heard the sound of water coming from inside.

The bathroom door wasn't closed properly, leaving a narrow crack. Moisture seeped out, brushing against her face, carrying the faint woody scent of shower gel.

Yu Zhu stopped in her tracks.

Through the continuous sound of water, she could hear the soft rustling of fingers rubbing her wet hair.

She took a step back and slowly asked, "Did you just get back?"

The person under the shower paused for a moment.

Koshima Toru rinsed the foam off his hair, wiped his face, and turned off the water.

The sound of water suddenly stopped, and the remaining water droplets dripped down the wall bricks and his body, falling to the ground with a hollow, soft sound.

"No." He reached for the towel. "I fell asleep in the living room last night."

Yu Zhu was taken aback.

"oh."

She turned around, holding her white cane, and walked back to her bedroom along the same path.

A dozen minutes later, the hairdryer stopped.

Echigo changed his clothes and went into the bedroom. Yu Zhu was sitting quietly on the edge of the bed. She was wearing a light yellow nightgown, her short hair was fluffy and messy from just waking up, her hands were folded on her knees, and her cane was resting on her calf. She looked gentle and obedient.

Echizen Toru stood at the door for a while before slowly speaking.

"I'm done."

Yu Zhu nodded, picked up her white cane, and stood up.

She slowly passed by him, and Echizen Toru lowered his head slightly, smelling the same scent on him.

The steam in the bathroom hadn't dissipated yet; the mirror was covered with a layer of white fog, and a few drops of water remained on the edge of the sink.

Koshima Toru did not leave.

Yu Zhu squeezed out the toothpaste and bent down to brush her teeth. Fine white foam clung to the corners of her lips. She bent over to rinse her mouth, the water flowing over the porcelain surface and quickly disappearing into the drain.

While washing her face, she leaned her white cane against the sink, cupped the cool water in her hands, and bent low to the ground.

The nightgown rode up with her movements, clinging to her slender lower back. The vertebrae of her spine stretched the fabric into a clear line, running from the back of her neck all the way down to her tailbone.

Just a few months ago, she was standing in the Qinling Mountains wearing a black backless dress. Her well-proportioned back was white and elegant under the torrential rain, and when she exerted force, the smooth and beautiful muscle lines could be seen.

Now, she seems to be slowly withering away.

Echizen Toru's gaze shifted elsewhere.

Yu Zhu dried her face and gripped her cane again. As she turned around, she seemed to sense that he was still there and slightly raised her head.

"What's wrong?"

Echigo looked into her unfocused eyes.

"Nothing much to do today," he said. "Want to...go out for a walk?"

Yu Zhu did not answer immediately.

She looked towards the floor-to-ceiling window.

These past few days, things in bright light have started to appear as blurry outlines in her vision. But today, all that's visible through the French windows is a grayish-white blur, and the sky seems overcast.

Echizen watched as she gently stroked the fingers holding the white cane.

"Wetlands," he added. "Not far, you haven't been there yet."

Yu Zhu frowned and remained silent for a moment, then nodded.

Moth

This was the first time they went out together since Yu Zhu lost her sight.

The car drove away from the residential area, heading east along the edge of the city. The buildings outside the window gradually became shorter, and the bare branches and weeds receded in the wind.

Yu Zhu sat in the passenger seat, her face slightly turned towards the window.

She couldn't see clearly outside. Occasionally, large dark shadows would sweep across the gray-white mass, and she couldn't tell if they were overpasses, buildings, or trees by the roadside.

Echizen Toru didn't play any music; the only sound in the carriage was the low rumble of the engine.

The two did not speak to each other the whole way.

Fifteen minutes later, the car stopped in the parking lot outside the wetland.

Echigo walked around to the passenger side and opened the car door. A gust of wind immediately rushed in, ruffling Yu Zhu's hair and bringing in a damp, chilly scent.

Water plants, wet mud, and a very faint salty and fishy smell.

Toru Koshima extended his hand to her: "Give me your hand."

Yu Zhu paused for a moment, then slowly placed her hand in his palm and tentatively stepped onto the ground.

The parking lot was paved with small pebbles, and stepping on them produced a subtle and chaotic vibration. Yuejian Tetsu didn't hold her hand, but only supported her elbow, leading her across a stone path and onto the wooden boardwalk by the water.

Footsteps landed on the wooden planks, and the walkway creaked.

The weather wasn't very sunny.

The clouds were thin and low, the sky a blurry, almost transparent color. In the distance, the gray-blue water met the sky, the boundary indistinct, like a sheet of soaked gray-white parchment.

The wind blew across the unobstructed water.

Large swathes of reeds grew on both sides of the boardwalk, their stalks bent low and flattened, the leaves rubbing together and making a continuous rustling sound. When the wind subsided slightly, they struggled to slowly raise their heads again, only to be quickly pressed down once more by the next gust of wind.

Yu Zhu's pace gradually slowed down.

The birdsong here is much richer than in the mountains.

Far and near, high and low, sharp and thin. Cries from different directions, accompanied by the flapping of wings, swept overhead, echoing each other through the damp air. In the world she once knew, sounds were always blocked by walls, doors, windows, and stairwells, but not here.

The wind brings them here and carries them further away without any hindrance.

Yu Zhu stopped.

Koshima Toru turned his head to look at her.

She tilted her head back, her gaze fixed on the horizon where the sky met the water. Her eyes still had no clear focus, but the dim light carried her gaze far away, as if beyond the mudflats before her, to a place only she knew.

"What are you thinking about?" he couldn't help but ask.

Yu Zhu's gaze gradually returned to her.

"I'm wondering, where is Shanhaiguan?"

Echizen Toru raised an eyebrow slightly.

"Shanhaiguan?"

"Yes." She nodded. "That sounds beautiful."

Echizen Toru pondered for a moment, then looked at the leaden-gray water in the distance: "In the north, a small coastal town."

"Is it far?"

"Not exactly close," he thought for a moment, "it's in the Bohai Bay."

"oh."

Yu Zhu responded thoughtfully, a faint smile appearing in her empty eyes.

A waterbird took flight from the depths of the reeds, its wings skimming the mudflats. Echizen Toru watched it fly away, then turned his gaze back to Yu Zhu's face.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

Yu Zhu turned her head towards the direction of the voice: "Go down?"

"Tidal flats".

A faint sound of water could be heard on the wind. The tide was slowly washing over the mud and sand, then receding from the low-lying areas.

Yu Zhu tightened her grip on his arm slightly: "Can we get down?"

"The tide is out now, the water isn't deep."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

The boardwalk extends all the way to the edge of the shallows. The last few wooden steps are a much darker color, blackened by the repeated rise and fall of the tide, with fine sand and broken grass stems stuck in the gaps.

Koshima Toru took off his shoes, knelt down on one knee, and bent one leg in front of him.

"Sit on my lap."

Yu Zhu didn't move, a hint of confusion appearing on her face.

"Take off your shoes." Tetsuya Koshima pulled her elbow, placed her palm on his shoulder, and supported her waist with his other hand, leading her to sit on his bent thighs. "You'll get wet if you go down."

Through his clothes, she could feel the warmth of his legs.

Koshima Toru lowered his head.

He untied her shoelaces, took the shoes off her feet, held her slender ankles in his hands, slowly took off her socks, and rolled up her trouser legs.

A cool, damp breeze brushed against her bare skin, and Yu Zhu's toes curled up slightly.

Echizen helped her to her feet.

She walked barefoot on the wooden steps, the dampness making the planks feel cold. Koshima Toru walked ahead, extending his hand to her.

"There are still three levels left."

Yu Zhu took his arm and tentatively stepped down.

The last wooden step sank into the shallow water, and the moment her feet touched the ground, soft, wet sand seeped up from between her toes, enveloping her feet in a cool embrace.

Yu Zhu suddenly stopped.

The mud and sand beneath her feet seemed unstable; with the slightest pressure, she sank in. Water sloshed around her ankles, and she instinctively tried to pull her feet out, but the sand and mud clung to her skin with a dull, squeezing sound.

The body has lost its familiar support.

She instinctively gripped Etsuma Toru's arm tightly.

"Don't be afraid." He squeezed her hand back. "It's flat in front."

Yu Zhu pursed her lips.

She kept her head down, her toes curled in the mud, her other foot still resting on the wooden step. The tide slowly surged from the depths of the mudflats, washing over her feet before receding with fine sand. The ground beneath her feet loosened.

The wind disrupted her breathing.

Koshima Toru stood in the water, his arm dangling in the cool, damp air, awaiting her decision.

Suddenly, a crane's cry came from afar.

The sound was long, traveling across the gray water, clear and almost desolate. A moment later, another echo resounded from the depths of the reeds further away.

Yu Zhu slowly raised her head.

The wind swept past her, carrying the earthy and fishy smells. She heard flocks of birds circling high above, their wings cutting through the air as they flew away into the unseen distance.

She released her grip on Echizen Toru's hand.

Lift your foot from the wooden steps and step into the mudflats.

Muddy water splashed onto my calves.

Her body swayed slightly, but before Echizen could catch her, she regained her balance.

Yu Zhu took a step forward.

Her foot got stuck in the mud and sand, and it took her some effort to slowly pull it out. As her foot left the ground, it kicked up a string of murky water droplets, which fell into the softer mud deeper ahead.

She walked very slowly.

Echizen Toru stayed by her side the whole time.

The deeper she went, the stronger the wind became.

The rolled-up trouser legs were blown to stick to the legs, and the hair flew messily against the cheeks, only to be blown away by the next gust of wind.

Just as a wave hit her calf, Toru Echizen reached out to stop her.

"We can't go any further."

Yu Zhu turned her head slightly to the side.

He said, "Just stand here."

Yu Zhu did not persist and gradually stopped walking.

The water flowed past her ankles, and the mud and sand beneath her feet continued to move slowly. She stood unsteadily, her body swaying gently with the tide, her whole being like a musical note, adorning the space between the sky and the water.

The surrounding area was filled with the harmonious chorus of birdsong.

Yu Zhu looked up and listened quietly.

She couldn't see the vast sky and earth, but she could feel the wind passing through her body from all directions.

This world did not close down because she could not see it.

Her shoulders gradually relaxed, and her hands, which had been hanging by her sides, slowly opened. The wind slipped through her empty fingers, leaving nothing behind.

Echizen Toru stood a step behind her, watching her back.

The distant mudflats stretched to the horizon, with low-hanging clouds pressing down on the water. Yu Zhu stood amidst them, thin and small, yet her face held a tranquility she hadn't seen in a long time.

The wind kept pushing her further and further away.

Echizen Toru took off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. The wind blew the hem of the coat open, but he raised his hand to gather it back up.

He suddenly leaned over and hugged her from behind.

Yu Zhu was wrapped in the still-warm fabric by him, her back pressed against his chest.

The tide surged in again, submerging their ankles. Yu Zhu didn't move, only slightly turning her head in his direction.

Koshima Toru slowly pulled his arms back.

He lowered his head and buried his face in the warm crook of her neck, his cheek pressed against the side of her neck. The scent that was once his had been carried away by the wind and was almost unrecognizable.

Waterbirds took flight from afar, their cries scattering across the gray sky.

Amidst the soft, layered sound of the waves, he finally couldn't help but speak.

"I love you."