Mud beads

Yu Zhu is making rapid progress.

A month later, she was able to walk alone along the fixed route to the human-shaped walkway by the lake.

On sunny afternoons, she would sit on a bench by the trail and bask in the sun for a while, her white cane resting against her knees. The wind blew from the lake, carrying moisture and the lingering coolness of early spring.

In the void, new boundaries and directions appeared at some unknown time.

Light emerged from the depths of darkness, initially as thin as a cicada's wing, gradually deepening in intensity. Daylight was like a veil of light through the mist, which slowly sank as night fell. She still couldn't see the lake, the trees, or the figures of passersby, but she could now distinguish between dawn and dusk, and knew when the sun was shining on her face.

On a clear morning, Yu Zhu finally called Liu Zhengyang.

She didn't explain why the call had been delayed until now, only asking if he had time in the afternoon. Liu Zhengyang readily agreed, and the two arranged to meet at the lakeside rest area.

The afternoon sun is the warmest, and a layer of shimmering, flowing light floats on the lake's surface.

Yu Zhu arrived at the rest area ahead of time.

She sat on a bench by the lake, her white cane folded and placed horizontally beside her legs, her hands resting on the handle. The wind rustled the reeds behind her, the leaves rubbing against each other, making a dry, soft sound.

The sound of footsteps could be heard from time to time on the rubber track in front of her. Every time someone passed by, Yu Zhu's heart would beat faster.

She listened intently, treating it like a game, trying to find out the real Liu Zhengyang.

But the real Liu Zhengyang called out to her from afar.

"Yu Zhu!"

Yu Zhu turned her face toward the direction from which the sound came.

Through the hazy gray light, she could only see a blurry, dark figure standing a few steps away. The person remained silent for a long time, so long that she almost began to doubt whether she had misheard.

"Liu Zhengyang?"

The shadowy figure moved slightly.

"Um......"

Liu Zhengyang stood three steps away, watching her.

Yu Zhu's hair was shorter than it was in high school, and her face was much thinner, making her eyes appear larger. Before, when she spoke to someone, she would always look at them intently, and even when her mind wandered, her gaze would only briefly drift away. Now, her face was turned towards him, but her gaze lingered on an empty space behind him.

He was carrying a brown paper bag, the paper string of which was already somewhat deformed from being squeezed.

"Aren't you late?" Yu Zhu asked.

Liu Zhengyang glanced down at the time.

"One minute and forty-six seconds."

"That's still being late."

"The security guard at the entrance of your community got into an argument with the delivery guy," he said, "causing a brief traffic jam."

Yu Zhu's lips curled up slightly.

Liu Zhengyang then walked over and sat down next to her, placing the paper bag aside. The two of them were spaced a distance that was neither too close nor too far, about the same as when they used to sit at the same table.

Yu Zhu smelled a faint scent on his clothes, like old books that had been aired in the sun, or like clean, dried cotton cloth. In an instant, things from school that had become distant suddenly came back to life—the fluttering curtains in the classroom, the purple sunset outside the library, the dust motes dancing in the beams of light in the small auditorium…

Her fingers tightened unconsciously, and her cane rolled a little on her knee.

Liu Zhengyang reached out and pressed it down for her.

The two people's fingers touched briefly through the cold metal before quickly withdrawing.

Silence spread subtly and gradually.

A waterbird landed on the lakeshore, its wings flapping across the water with a short, sharp sound. Yu Zhu listened as the sound faded into the distance and spoke first, "Is this place easy to find? Is it very far?"

"It's quite far. I'll have to take a taxi after getting to the nearest subway station." Liu Zhengyang turned his head to look at the house behind her. "Why don't you go upstairs to talk?"

Yu Zhu was stunned for a moment.

That's not my home.

Her voice was very soft, and it faded away without a trace. Liu Zhengyang withdrew his gaze and looked at the ground.

"You don't need to worry about the school. You—uh, Mr. Yue has arranged for you to take a leave of absence for two years."

"Hmm." Yu Zhu nodded, without much reaction. "He told me."

Toru Koshima has a knack for intruding into people's lives. Even though he's not a mutual friend, he always manages to appear before her in her conversations with old friends, reaching into her past.

Liu Zhengyang did not comment on Yuejian Che's actions, nor did he ask about their relationship. He simply took out a thick envelope from the paper bag beside him and carefully placed it in Yu Zhu's hand.

"Here, take this."

Yu Zhu touched the rough kraft paper cover: "What?"

"This is the royalties from your previous project on arranging traditional operas." Liu Zhengyang leaned back in his chair, gazing at the distant lake. "Professor Zhou asked me to bring this to you; it's your share."

Yu Zhu slowly traced the edge of the envelope with her fingertips.

"So many?"

"I'm not in charge of the publishing house's accounts," Liu Zhengyang chuckled. "Don't blame me if I make a mistake."

Yu Zhu didn't open the envelope; she simply placed it on her lap.

A gust of wind swept across the lake, brushing the stray hairs from her forehead to one side. Behind the bench, withered reeds drooped low, and the sound of water lapping against the bank was long and clear.

Yu Zhu swallowed hard, then looked up: "Any news about Liang Xia?"

Liu Zhengyang was stunned for a moment.

"fine."

His tone softened a bit: "She opened her own franchised bubble tea shop and hired two male college students part-time."

Yu Zhu lowered her head and smiled.

"How's business?"

"Let me calculate it for her. It looks like she's making a profit every month, but breaking even is a long way off." Liu Zhengyang shook his head. "Anyway, she's having such a good time she doesn't want to leave."

Yu Zhu's smile deepened a little.

In the afternoon light, that pale face finally regained some of its former appearance, like a sliver of light on the surface of water pushed aside by the wind.

Liu Zhengyang looked at her, and after a moment asked, "And you?"

The light quickly disappeared again.

"What about me?"

When do you plan to come back to school?

Yu Zhu did not answer immediately.

She raised her head, her empty eyes staring at the lake, still without a destination.

"have no idea."

Liu Zhengyang frowned: "I don't know what that means?"

"I just don't know."

Yu Zhu pressed her fingers on the envelope, the paper making a slight crackling sound.

She hadn't originally planned to say any of this. Before dialing the number, she only wanted to say a few words, ask Liang Xia, and then, like someone temporarily leaving, tell Liu Zhengyang that she would be back later.

But she didn't know how long "later" would be.

"I feel like I can't decide anything," she said, a genuine look of confusion on her face. "When I can get out of here, and where I go after that, is not up to me."

Liu Zhengyang did not interrupt.

Yu Zhu paused for a moment, then continued, "Sometimes I feel like I've walked into a tunnel. After a short while, I walk forward and then enter another tunnel."

She slowly turned her face, her brow furrowed, leaving a faint crease: "The scenery inside the tunnel is always the same. Can you understand?"

Liu Zhengyang remained silent for a long time.

Yu Zhu thought he wouldn't answer.

"I can probably understand," he suddenly said.

"There aren't many landmarks inside the tunnel; the walls, lights, and sounds all look pretty much the same. After a while, it really becomes difficult to judge how far you've gone."

His voice was calm, as if he were breaking down a common physics problem.

"Just because they look the same doesn't mean they're in the same position."

Yu Zhu's brows remained furrowed: "What's the difference?"

"Your comprehension is really questionable." Liu Zhengyang frowned and sat up straighter. "Even if it's dark outside the window when the train enters the tunnel, it won't stop at the entrance. The speed, direction, and time spent are all changing."

"so?"

"So you've mistaken several similar results for a strictly periodic motion," Liu Zhengyang said. "The premise for a periodicity to hold is that the system is always under the same initial and boundary conditions."

He glanced at the white cane beside her.

"Your conditions have changed."

Yu Zhu remained silent.

Liu Zhengyang smiled and slowly began to speak.

"Maybe next time will be the last time."

Yu Zhu was stunned.

Everything before her was still a blur; the sidewalk, the lake, and the distant blue sky were all blended into that gray-white layer, and no road suddenly lit up. But just a month ago, she was still standing inside the threshold, unable to even reach the bench in the yard by herself.

It seems that some changes don't need to be seen to be considered to have happened.

Yu Zhu lowered her head, her fingertips slowly smoothing out the creases on the envelope. The sun was tilting to the other side of the lake, and the heat falling on her face gradually faded.

Liu Zhengyang didn't take her back. He knew she could walk that fixed route on her own now. He stood there, watching her grasp her white cane and slowly find her way back.

When Yu Zhu returned to the house, Yue Jian Che was still not back.

The living room was dark, and her world became murky and dim again. She walked along the wall into the study, which she rarely ventured into, and slowly reached the edge of the table, placing the envelope in the center of the surface.

She didn't open the package, nor did she count how much money was inside. Those numbers were no longer important; some debts, since they couldn't be settled, could only be repaid over time.

Moth

As night fell, the second floor of Limbo began to stir.

Music drifted up through the heavy floor, and the soles of shoes vibrated at a low frequency. The waiter finished serving the drinks and left, leaving the ice bucket on the table steaming, and a fine layer of water droplets quickly forming on the glass.

Echizen Toru leaned back on the sofa with his legs crossed.

He had just returned from outside; his shirt was fairly neat, except two buttons at the collar were undone. He was bathed in dim light, the ultraviolet light casting a shadow that made his face colder than the ice on the table. He hadn't touched his drink, and his phone lay on the table, its screen flashing intermittently, but he ignored it, letting the light rise and fall.

Ji Yong, with a cigarette between her fingers, stared at him for a long time through the rising smoke.

Eshima Toru has lost a lot of weight.

His shoulders and back were still straight, and his refined and handsome face still showed little expression. However, the effortless elegance and hypocritical gentleness of the past seemed to have been worn down by something day and night, leaving only a layer of gloomy weariness.

Ji Yong flicked off the cigarette ash.

"Hey buddy, have you been on drugs lately?"

Koshima Toru finally raised his eyes.

Ji Yong looked at him for a moment, then smiled.

"Two months have passed," he mumbled, a cigarette dangling from his lips, "What happened to you, you've become a mess?"