Mud beads

Koshima Toru stared at her empty eyes for a while, then slowly said, "She will come tomorrow."

Upon hearing this, Yu Zhu's eyelashes trembled slightly, and her hand, which had been hovering above the small table, slowly curled up.

The porridge in the spoon had gone cold. Yuejian Tetsu scooped up some hot porridge and held the spoon back to her lips: "Let's eat first."

"I'll do it myself."

She reached out her hand into the air.

Echizen's hand paused for a moment.

"it is good."

He placed the bowl on the small table in front of her and gently took her wrist. Her hand instinctively recoiled slightly from his palm.

He stopped struggling and waited for the slight throbbing to subside before guiding her fingertips to touch the warm bowl and then along the rim to the spoon handle.

"Be careful, it's hot."

After he finished speaking, he released his grip.

Yu Zhu groped for the spoon and lowered her head.

She didn't know the depth of the bowl. The first spoonful was too shallow, only scraping off a thin layer of rice paste. Although the position to her mouth was accurate, she couldn't perceive the exact distance, and only after the spoon touched her lips did she belatedly open her mouth.

The only sound in the ward was the sound of a spoon hitting the side of a bowl.

She ate very slowly. Her lips opened and closed mechanically, as if she couldn't taste the food itself, but was simply completing a routine task.

As she ate the last two bites, something occurred to her, and a tear fell from her unfocused eyes into the bowl.

She gently stirred the porridge, and without changing her expression, scooped up another spoonful.

Koshima Toru's hands, which were resting on his knees, slowly closed up with his fingers.

He watched her silently as he ate the bowl of porridge, which was now mixed with her tears.

Moth

A black van was parked downstairs at Liang Dong's apartment building.

The driver took the suitcase from Liang Xia and put it in the trunk. She stood in front of the building entrance without moving, glancing up at the building above.

Every household had New Year's "Fu" (福, meaning good fortune) characters pasted on their windows, but the one she was looking up at was empty, reflecting the pale winter afternoon sky.

Behind that glass was an equally empty balcony. She had packed up everything in the apartment; what needed to be sent was sent, what needed to be thrown away was thrown away, and the few pieces of clothing she owned had already been disposed of at the crematorium. Apart from an old watch belonging to Liang Dong, she kept nothing.

Echizen Toru sat in the passenger seat and didn't urge her.

The sound of the trunk closing reached Liang Xia's ears, and she finally looked away, bending down to get into the car.

The boss's chair hadn't been adjusted; the backrest was stiff, and the headrest was pressing against the back of her head. She flipped open the cover on the handle, took out the remote control, and slowly laid the chair flat.

"Can I leave after seeing her?"

Koshima Toru looked ahead, his voice indifferent: "Yes."

The car slowly drove away from the roadside.

Liang Xia didn't say anything more. She turned her head and watched the apartment building recede from the car window, the convenience store, coffee shop and the row of leafless sycamore trees below quickly being blocked by other buildings.

She suddenly laughed when the apartment was completely out of sight.

"That's really interesting."

Echizen looked at her in the rearview mirror, his gaze as faint as the winter sunlight.

"Don't you think so?" Liang Xia leaned back in her chair, her eyes closed. "Sometimes I don't know whether I should hate her or pity her."

She spoke calmly, her tone devoid of any underlying love or hate. Only her arms, clasped tightly across her chest, pressed her coat into fine wrinkles.

Echizen looked away without replying.

"Ultimately, I guess I hate myself." Liang Xia kept her eyes closed. "After all, in the beginning, I was the one who brought him into her life."

As the car passed an intersection, the setting sun shone through the city buildings, casting shadows on her face like fish swimming across a pond. She quickly raised her hand to wipe away the tears from the corner of her eye.

"It's pitiful that the people she wanted to keep couldn't stay, while the people she didn't want could stay by her side forever."

Echizen Toru gave a cold laugh: "Indeed."

Liang Xia suddenly opened her eyes: "You're finished."

She sat up slightly, a faint gleam of pleasure in her eyes: "What can you do with a dead person?"

The carriage fell silent. The driver kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead, his hands still firmly gripping the steering wheel.

Liang Xia leaned back in her seat, watching the hospital building draw closer, and spoke again: "How long do you think you can keep lying to her?"

Toru Echizen continued to gaze ahead.

Through the windshield, the car turned into the hospital gate, its wheels rolling over speed bumps one after another. The outpatient building slowly passed by the car window, the barrier in front rose, and the car drove down the ramp into the underground parking lot.

The winter sunset was cut off by the concrete roof, and a row of green parking lights slid across the windshield.

"A lie?" Toru Echizen finally spoke.

He turned his head to the side in the dim green light: "Do you really think she didn't know?"

The last trace of sarcasm on Liang Xia's face slowly faded.

Moth

Liang Xia left her luggage in the trunk. Three and a half hours later, she would board that flight and return to her hometown.

She walked alone through the underground parking lot and followed the signs into the inpatient department. The automatic doors slid open to both sides, and the warm air carrying the smell of disinfectant collided with the cold outdoor wind, lifting her hair that hadn't been washed for days.

There weren't many people in the lobby. The nurse on duty was sitting behind the reception desk scrolling through her phone. When she saw her come in, her eyelids lifted slightly, then lowered again.

Liang Xia pressed the up key.

The elevator doors opened, and she stepped inside, expertly pressing the button for the twelfth floor. The metal doors slowly closed, leaving her alone in the elevator car.

The last time she came to the hospital, she took the same route. It was also a winter like this then; she didn't have time to change out of her work clothes from making lemon tea, so she rode her electric scooter to the hospital in her old down jacket. Yu Zhu was lying on the bed, with Yue Jianche in a suit sitting beside her. He watched her rush in, his expression polite, but his eyes were full of arrogance.

She couldn't help but recall the pale and tired face in the passenger seat, and a sudden sense of pleasure welled up inside her.

Deserve it.

The numbers jump around in layers.

The elevator reached the twelfth floor, the doors opened, and it was as quiet as entering a library.

There were very few patients on this floor. Many doors along the corridor were open, and the beds inside were empty, with neatly folded white blankets. Only one light was on at the nurses' station, and several duty rosters for Lunar New Year's Eve were pressed under a glass plate, with nurses' portraits pasted on them, each smiling dignifiedly.

Liang Xia walked forward along the corridor.

The house numbers passed by her one by one.

1203, 1204, 1205...

The door to room 1206 was tightly closed, and Liang Xia stopped in front of it.

She stared at the silver number on the door for a while, raised her hand halfway, then let it fall back down, her chest rising and falling slowly.

She took another breath and pressed down on the doorknob.

The door was pushed open inwards.

The person in the hospital bed seemed startled by the sound and quickly sat up.

Yu Zhu was looking at her.

Saying I'm watching her isn't entirely accurate.

Those usually bright and lively eyes were now hastily turned towards the door, their long eyelashes held up, not blinking for a long time.

Liang Xia was pinned to the doorway by those unfocused eyes.

She had prepared some words.

I'm here. How are you? Liang Dong is recovering well—or something else, or something even more unpleasant to say.

But she can't say anything now.

The person in front of them had lost a lot of weight, and their hair had returned to the way it was when they first met. Short, like a boy's.

Liang Xia's chest heaved suddenly.

She immediately closed her eyes, forcing back the tears, but the tears slid down her cheeks as she squeezed her eyelids shut.

Yu Zhu, lying on the hospital bed, waited a while before slowly speaking.

"Liang Xia? Is that you...?"