Mud beads

When Liang Dong returned to the apartment, it was just past midnight.

The motion-sensor light in the entryway turned on, and the inside was quiet. The dining table was clean, with a kettle of boiled water on it. The two bowls of noodles from the afternoon were upside down on the drainer, one blue and one pink, very close together.

The bedroom door was ajar.

Yu Zhu lay on the side by the window, covered with a thin blanket, only half her face showing. She had probably waited a long time; her phone was still on her pillow, screen up.

Liang Dong stood by the bed for a while, then quickly put his phone on silent.

He still carried the scents of the banquet: alcohol, cigarettes, and Mr. Lin's perfume. He walked out of the bedroom, took off his clothes and put them in the laundry basket, then went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Warm water poured over his head, trickling down his neck. He washed his hair twice, then squeezed out shower gel and carefully scrubbed his arms and shoulders. The mirror was fogged up by steam; he raised his hand and wiped away a small patch, revealing a clear-eyed person with no signs of alcohol on their face.

The image of Echizen Toru sitting in the shadows resurfaced in my mind.

The man's leg wasn't fully healed yet, and he had to lean on the pool table to stand up. He looked rather disheveled, but he always maintained a composed and leisurely air of superiority. Liang Dong turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and dried his face.

The air conditioner in the bedroom was set to 24 degrees Celsius.

He gently lifted the corner of the blanket and lay down, carefully maintaining a certain distance from the person sleeping soundly in the bed. The mattress sank slightly under his weight, and Yu Zhu stirred in her sleep, her nose brushing against the pillow, before slowly opening her eyes.

She looked at him for a few seconds, as if trying to discern the light in the night. Then her brows relaxed, and she reached her hand out from under the covers to touch his still damp hair.

"You're back."

Liang Dong hummed in agreement and took her hand from his hair: "Did I wake you up?"

Yu Zhu shook her head and moved a little closer to him. She smelled of freshly dried sheets and shampoo, and a soft crease was pressed into the neckline of her nightgown. Liang Dong reached out and wrapped his arms around her slowly, first pulling her shoulders into his embrace, his palms pressed against her back through the thin cotton fabric.

Yu Zhu tilted her head up and kissed him.

The kiss landed on her chin, still dazed from just waking up. Liang Dong inhaled the scent of her hair, his body tensing. He pulled her into his arms, pressing his entire body against hers. Yu Zhu seemed to come to her senses, this time finding his lips, her fingers running through her damp hair behind her ear.

Liang Dong rolled over and pinned her down.

He lowered his head to respond to her kiss, patiently. His lips traced the curve of her lips, moving down her neck to her soft belly. As if suddenly sensing something, Yu Zhu lifted herself off the bed and reached out to cup his chin.

"no--"

Liang Dong raised his head.

In the darkness, her fingers trembled slightly as she stopped on his face: "Not clean."

"You're very clean." Liang Dong tilted his head, pulling his hand away from hers. His eyes were filled with a thin layer of tears, gleaming slightly in the night. "Sister, let me do it, okay?"

Yu Zhu looked at him for a while, then slowly released her hand from his face.

Hot breath sprayed between his legs.

The bedroom curtains weren't fully drawn, and the lights from the GG brand outside leaked in through the gaps, slowly changing color. Later, Yu Zhu felt like a finless fish, bobbing and drifting with the current in the spring pond.

This time, no one stopped.

Night continued to move forward outside the window. The "GG" sign outside the building finally went out, and the few lit windows across the street also went dark, leaving only a layer of grayish moonlight through the gaps in the curtains. Yu Zhu was so tired that she couldn't lift her arms, so Liang Dong carried her to the bathroom. Their bare feet left a trail of damp footprints on the floor.

Back in the bedroom, Liang Dong pulled the blanket up for her.

She closed her eyes and groped for his hand. Once she found it, she held it in her palm and quickly fell asleep.

Liang Dong lay on his side watching Yu Zhu.

Her face was serene as she slept, her eyelashes clearly defined, casting faint shadows beneath her eyes. Traces of lovemaking lingered on her slightly parted lips, full and moist, bearing the vibrant color of a flower in full bloom.

Liang Dong leaned in gently and kissed her forehead almost reverently.

Then he closed his eyes and began a new round of prayer.

Even as the moon faded and the sky began to lighten with the first light of dawn, his lost sleep had not returned.

ㅤ ㅤ

The lights in Moon Garden are always on all night.

The aunt was already asleep. The driver dropped Etsuya Tetsuya off at the door but didn't come in. Etsuya Tetsuya slowly walked upstairs with his cane, the tip of the cane tapping on the stone steps, one sound after another, until it was swallowed by the carpet at the top of the stairs.

He still didn't go back to his bedroom.

Pushing open the innermost door on the second floor, the motion-activated nightlights turned on one by one. The room was cleaned daily; the sheets were neatly made, and the tabletop was dust-free. The pink bedding had faded to a very light color. The curved screen against the wall was black, with only a single standby light dimly glowing under the table from inside the transparent case.

Echizen leaned his cane against the bedside and lay down fully clothed on Yu Zhu's small bed.

The bed was too narrow and too soft for him; he would touch the edge of the bed if he stretched out even slightly. The injury on his right leg began to ache slightly, but he didn't get up. Instead, he raised his hand behind his head and stared at the ceiling.

—I'm going back now; she's still waiting for me at home.

He kept thinking about Liang Dong's last words.

That despicable boy, with his seemingly innocent face, is actually very good at being subservient. He takes advantage of her affections to do whatever he wants, knowing full well that he has entered the world of fame and fortune, yet he still dares to keep her firmly by his side, as if he can have it both ways.

He'd thought many times about just getting rid of him. A clean break. His relationship with her was already at its worst, so he didn't care if it got any worse.

But when he thought about how she would be sad and cry because of other men, he felt that this might be a reward for those men.

Toru Echizen turned over.

The pillows and blankets had been washed, leaving only a faint scent of detergent. He sniffed deeply, but couldn't find any trace of Yu Zhu's scent in the room. She had been gone for so long that not even a single hair remained.

The digital clock by the bedside jumped to 2:40.

Echizen sat up, braced himself against the edge of the bed for a moment, and reached for his cane. The cane was a bit far away, and he managed to grab it after two tries. As he stood up, a dull pain shot through his right leg. He frowned and slowly walked to his desk.

This computer has never been turned on since she left. It was a reward he gave her, but she didn't take it with her when she left.

I pressed the power button on the computer, and the fans inside the case started spinning. Rows of white keyboard lights up, the lighting effects still from many years ago, flowing from left to right along the keycaps.

The screen lights up very quickly.

Echigo Koji sat down in the chair and waited for the system to load. His face appeared on the screen first, then the desktop popped up, the school's platform logged in automatically in the background, and a chat window suddenly jumped to the front.

Panpan.

Toru Koshima stared at the name, his hand hovering over the mouse.

The sync date in the upper right corner is stuck in May.

YZ: Great. I've broken my old bad habits.

Koshima Toru stared at the words "bad habits" for a while, then his heart skipped a beat. He continued to scroll up the dial, and the date began to go backward.

May, December, November.

Freshman year of college, senior year of high school, freshman year of high school.

......

The computer fan whirred softly. Outside the window, the sky changed from deep black to dark blue, and the date on the screen continued to advance. Toru Kozuma's fingers rested on the scroll wheel, flicking it again and again, the speed gradually slowing down.

He saw the year she first moved into the dorm, those nights filled with formulas, words, and schedules. She thanked a program, asking it to remember her habits, confiding all her unspoken girlish secrets to a lifeless machine without a heartbeat.

This program is called Panpan.

The "pan" in Yu Pandi.

He casually crossed out her name back then, and she didn't say anything, but she picked up a character from the old name and left it for this machine.

Sunlight seeped in through the edges of the curtains, and the blue and white on the screen slowly faded. Echizen Toru had sat in front of the computer all night, and the pain in his right leg had subsided.

The roller has finally reached the end.

The first page contained only a welcome message.

"Hello, I'm Panpan. How can I help you?"