Mud beads

Outside the door, Liang Dong knocked again.

"elder sister?"

Yu Zhu and Yue Jianche exchanged a glance, and the next second, she raised her hand to cover his mouth.

Echizen looked down at her.

She pressed her palm against his lips, her whole body stiffening, her eyes wide open. The coldness on her face shattered, replaced by panic. Yuejian Che stared for a few seconds, his gaze darkening, then a slight smile curved his lips.

Yu Zhu dared not move.

Liang Dong's voice came through the door, close and with a hint of hesitation: "Liang Xia asked me to get you some dumplings she made. I called your phone but you didn't answer. I think I heard you when I came downstairs. Are you alright?"

Echizen's chest pressed against hers, and the cool fragrance emanating from his body became even more pronounced through his body heat.

Yu Zhu closed her eyes briefly and managed to say, "I just fell asleep, it's nothing."

Her voice trailed off through the door, sounding muffled and soft.

"I... I just woke up and it's not convenient for me to go," she said again. "Just leave it by the door. Thank you."

Liang Dong remained silent for two seconds outside the door.

"Are you really alright?"

Yu Zhu gripped the door lock: "Mm."

As soon as she finished speaking, her palm suddenly felt warm.

Toru Echizen licked her palm.

The slight dampness traced across the lines of her palm, and Yu Zhu's eyes widened suddenly, her breath catching in her throat.

Echizen's face was very close. A rosy hue was visibly spreading behind his ears, on his neck, and at the corners of his eyes, making him look as beautiful as a satiated fairy who had just drunk human blood.

"I'll leave it at the door," Liang Dong said. "Remember to pick it up."

The plastic bag fell to the ground with a soft thud. There were no footsteps outside the door immediately; Liang Dong seemed to stand there for a while before starting to walk upstairs.

One layer, two layers, the sound grew farther and farther away.

Finally, it disappeared.

Yu Zhu let go and pushed Yue Jianche away forcefully. She wiped her hand on his shirt, and the dark fabric quickly became damp.

"Are you crazy?" she asked in a low voice.

Liang Dong had clearly left, but she still felt shaken. She had a strange sense of moral guilt, as if she were a wife having an affair behind her husband's back. But that wasn't the case at all. However, every time Yue Jianche appeared, it brought new turmoil and chaos.

Yuejian Tetsu was pushed back two steps by her, his back hitting the edge of the table, causing the glass on the table to wobble. His waist and abdomen were taut, and there were no wrinkles on his suit trousers. Yu Zhu only glanced at him before immediately turning her face away.

Echizen Toru, however, didn't seem to mind at all, and his smile remained as he looked at her.

"Afraid he'll hear?"

Yu Zhu was so angry that her head was spinning, and her temples were throbbing. Without thinking, she reached out and pulled down the canvas bag hanging on the hook behind the door.

"If you don't leave, I will!"

She bent down to change her shoes, and just as she stepped into one shoe, Echizen Toru's voice rang out again.

"He can too, right?"

She stopped abruptly and looked up: "What?"

Koshima Toru raised his chin and pointed upstairs: "Your little lover."

Yu Zhu remained silent for a long time.

The bag of dumplings was still outside the door; in this heat, frozen things thaw quickly. These were ordinary things, but they represented the kindness of those she cherished. Yet, with just one sentence from Yuejian Che, he had made those warm and simple things feel awkward.

"He's not my lover." Yu Zhu straightened up. "Not everyone is as despicable as you."

"I don't think so." Toru Koshima tilted his head indifferently. "He just doesn't have the means to be despicable yet."

"That's your opinion." Yu Zhu's voice turned cold. "Someone like you, who has been pampered since childhood and has everything, of course you think everyone will eventually fall apart."

She immediately added, "So you'll never be able to truly understand me!"

When Echizen heard her words, it was like hearing the biggest joke in the world: "Living a life of luxury, having everything you could want?"

He chuckled and took a step forward. The room was too small; as he moved, the lamplight seemed to squeeze in as well.

"What do you mean by living a life of ease and comfort? Do you think living a life of ease and comfort means not having to feed chickens and ducks or carry firewood up the mountain? You're really shallow."

Yu Zhu felt a surge of anger rising within her from his slight smile.

She remembered the ever-flowing water in Yueyuan Garden, his car parked at the entrance of the complex, the game skins he could buy for her more than ten times, and Liang Dong standing in front of the building, looking up and saying "It's fine." Some people hold the world in their hands and then turn around and accuse others of being shallow.

"Yes, I'm shallow." Yu Zhu kicked off her shoes and, for the first time, took the initiative to approach him. "Even if I'm shallow, I'm still more humane than you. Even if I'm shallow, I wouldn't trample on someone's sincerity. I ask myself, and you ask yourself, who have you ever been sincere to? Who have you ever been kind to?"

She was consumed by rage, and all she could hear was the sound of her own breathing.

"Is it possible that the reason no one loves you is your own fault, that you brought it on yourself, and that you don't deserve love at all!"

After these words were spoken, the room suddenly became extremely quiet.

Yu Zhu herself was stunned.

She took a half step back, then looked up again, and saw that Echizen Toru was looking at her intently.

He suddenly started walking towards her.

Yu Zhu instinctively raised her arm to block, thinking he was going to hit her. But Yue Jianche stopped in front of her.

He reached up and ripped off his tie. The dark tie was pulled from his collar and thrown to the floor. Next came the shirt buttons. One, two, the third one wasn't undone, so he just ripped it off, the button bouncing off to the foot of the bed and rolling twice.

He threw his shirt off his shoulder and turned around.

Yu Zhu was completely stunned.

Echizen's back is covered in scars.

Slender and blunt, dark overshadowing light, the colors sinking and aging at the edges. Sloping from the shoulder blades to the waist, crisscrossing and densely packed, there is not a single intact patch.

"Go on, keep going." He turned around, revealing his solid, alabaster-like chest, his voice carrying a strange excitement, "Say I was pampered, say I brought this on myself, say I don't deserve love."

Yu Zhu was speechless.

She once thought that Toru Etsuma was a work of art displayed in a glass case. On that body wrapped in suits, etiquette, money, and power, the asymmetrical mole on his face was the only thing that didn't fit in.

She couldn't imagine that such an ugly scar would appear on Echizen Toru's body.

She thought of Yue Feng, and Zhou Qiyu's words. Fragments of memories pieced together intermittently in her mind, composing a magnificent yet eerie hymn.

When she was Yu Pandi, she was disliked, beaten, and treated roughly. But no matter how much Liu Guizhen and Yu Dahai didn't love her, they never left such marks on her.

This is hatred. Naked hatred.

Yu Zhu's hands, hanging by her sides, gradually loosened their knuckles.

She bent down, picked up the shirt from the ground, and unfolded it. The fabric was soft and warm, still carrying her body heat.

"sorry."

She took the clothes and walked behind Echizen Toru, standing on tiptoe to drape the shirt over his shoulders. Her hands trembled violently; the first time, she couldn't get it on properly, and the fabric slipped down her shoulders. She reached out to catch it again. The second time, her fingertips accidentally brushed against an old scar on his shoulder blade, and she felt his shoulder move slightly, but he didn't flinch.

She walked up to him and helped him straighten his shirt.

"I shouldn't have said that."

Echizen didn't speak, and his breathing gradually calmed down.

She helped him pull his sleeve back. Following her movement, Echizen Toru reached out, his strength suddenly dissipating, like a puppet being manipulated.

He put the shirt back on, and the old wound was covered by a black cloth, leaving only his smooth chest and collarbone.

Yu Zhu bent down to help him button up his clothes.

The buttons were small and delicate, difficult to handle in her hand. She buttoned the first one wrong, then unbuttoned it and buttoned it again. Her tears fell silently, tracing down her cheeks, dangling from her chin for a moment before quickly falling.

"Yu Zhu".

Tetsuya Echizen finally spoke.

"You used to like me the most."

She dared not look up. Her vision was both blurry and clear.

Echizen Toru reached out his palm and caught a tear that slid down her chin.

"Why can't you love me like you used to?"

Yu Zhu was speechless.

She knew she shouldn't cry, but the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. She hated her own weakness, but she also couldn't accept his scars.

Love turning into hate sounds like a simple cause and effect, but it's like a Möbius strip, and only those trapped inside can understand it.

Echizen reached out and gently wiped away her tears, as if she had suddenly become precious.

"Move back," he said. "Whatever you want, I'll give it to you."

After saying that, he lowered his head and kissed her eyes.

Yu Zhu closed her eyes and did not struggle.

When Echizen wasn't going mad, his lips were warm and soft. She even had the illusion that she felt his love. If it were her in the past, at this moment, she would probably have been willing to give everything for him.

But what does she want?

A house? Money? Everything that can be put on the table?

Those things were heavy and expensive, enough to make thirteen-year-old Yu Pandi kneel down in gratitude. But now she stood in this dilapidated little house, with dumplings made by Liang Xia outside the door, Liang Dong living upstairs, and organized teaching materials and the script for the drama festival in a canvas bag.

The house was small, damp, and old, and smelled musty in the summer. But she opened the door herself, installed the lights herself, and carefully selected and arranged everything inside herself.

She opened her eyes and looked at Echizen Toru.

"I want freedom."