Mud beads

Ziwei No. 9 is located on the banks of Qujiang River.

Yu Zhu got out of the car following the navigation and stood at the entrance of the residential area. The first thing she saw were two rows of neatly trimmed pine trees. The outer wall of the gatehouse was made of dark gray stone, and the lights were hidden in the ground. When they shone upwards, even the shadows of the trees looked dignified. The security guard didn't let her in directly. He first asked for her name and then called to confirm. Zhou Qiyu's voice came from the walkie-talkie, sounding a little lazy, as if she had just woken up.

"Let her in, my friend."

The security guard then handed the visitor card to Yu Zhu, his attitude impeccably polite.

Yu Zhu took the card and said thank you.

She swiped her card to go directly to the elevator. When the door opened, she saw Zhou Qiyu leaning against the entrance, wearing a blue spaghetti strap dress with a thin cardigan over it. Her hair was loosely tied up, and she had little makeup on, but her lips were still red.

"Zhuzhu," she smiled, "you're right on time."

Yu Zhu handed over the milk tea she had bought at the milk tea shop before coming over; it was the flavor Zhou Qiyu had liked before: "Sorry to bother you, Sister Nana."

"Oh, don't be so polite." Zhou Qiyu accepted the milk tea, a little surprised. She pointed to the white slippers in the entryway and said with a smile, "Wear these. They're brand new, nobody's worn them before."

The slippers were made of sheepskin with soft soles. Yu Zhu put them on, and as soon as her feet sank in, her first thought was about the price. She quickly suppressed that thought and followed Zhou Qiyu inside.

The house is very big.

The living room has a floor-to-ceiling window offering views of the river and half of Qujiang's green landscape. The sofa is light-colored, and the carpet is so thick that it makes no sound underfoot. Several magazines sit on the coffee table, and a glass vase holds white lisianthus. It doesn't feel like anyone has lived here long-term; it's too clean, even the air feels thin.

Two puppies came out barking first.

The little Yorkshire Terrier had glossy fur, a pearl clip on one ear, and a light pink tulle skirt on the other, the hem of which swayed as it ran.

Zhou Qiyu glared at him and raised her hand: "Judy, Emily, don't call me that."

Yu Zhu stood there, somewhat hesitant to move.

Judy sniffed around her ankle twice, then looked up at her. Its eyes were black and round, and it wore a thin collar with a small golden bell hanging from its neck. Yu Zhu looked down and suddenly remembered the dogs she had seen in the Qinling Mountains when she was a child. The village dogs didn't have collars; they wore iron chains around their necks, ate leftovers, and slept in the woodshed in winter. They ran with dirt on their bodies, matted fur, fierce eyes, and could bite when guarding their food.

Zhou Qiyu's dog smells sweet.

"It's okay, they don't bite," Zhou Qiyu said. "They're just a little annoying."

Yu Zhu then squatted down and gently touched Judy's head. Judy immediately rested her chin in her hand; it was soft and warm.

"It likes you," Zhou Qiyu laughed. "It usually pretends to be dead when it sees strangers."

Yu Zhu also chuckled softly.

Zhou Qiyu led her to the living room, next to which was a small bedroom.

The bedroom door was open, and a light beige cushion covered the floor. Two small wooden beds stood by the window, with small lamps hanging at the head of each bed. At the far end was a full-wall transparent wardrobe, filled with dog-themed dresses, princess dresses, sportswear, sweaters, and shawls, in colors ranging from white to pink, from light blue to champagne gold. The drawers below were also transparent, neatly arranged with bows, hair clips, collars, and little shoes.

Yu Zhu looked at the clothes and was somewhat shaken.

Zhou Qiyu followed her gaze and pouted, "Isn't that exaggerated?"

Yu Zhu nodded honestly.

"It's cost me almost a hundred dollars to raise them," Zhou Qiyu said casually. "But I think that spending money on people will spoil them, but spending it on dogs won't cause any problems."

It was a joke. Yu Zhu knew Zhou Qiyu didn't mean anything by it. But her cheeks still flushed.

She thought of Echizen Toru's words, of his Aesop's fables. She shook her head, banishing those thoughts from her mind.

Zhou Qiyu pointed to the sofa, gesturing for Yu Zhu to sit down first. She turned and walked towards the kitchen: "Would you like coffee? I only have coffee and wine here."

"Coffee bar," Yu Zhu said.

The kitchen was open-plan, and the countertops were so clean you could see your reflection. Zhou Qiyu stood in front of the coffee machine, grinding beans. The machine hummed, and dark brown powder fell into the portafilter. She moved with practiced ease, tamping the beans, locking the portafilter, and starting the extraction. A small cup of espresso quickly flowed out, with crema floating on the surface.

"After you left last time," Zhou Qiyu said with her back to her, "Yuejian Tetsu and Ji Yong almost got into a fight."

Yu Zhu sat on the sofa and turned around: "Why?"

"That's just men's competitive spirit," Zhou Qiyu said, pouring milk into a cup and drawing a hastily made heart shape. "Don't be fooled by their usual brotherly manner; when it comes to fighting over something, they can really bare their teeth." She then kicked the little dog at her feet. "Right, Judy?"

Yu Zhu wanted to say that she wasn't a "thing," but Zhou Qiyu had already handed her the coffee.

"Thank you." Yu Zhu took the cup. The cup was warm, and the porcelain cup pressed against her palm. She lowered her head and took a sip. The bitterness hit the back of her tongue first, followed by the milky aroma.

"I don't really understand," Yu Zhu said.

Zhou Qiyu sat down opposite her, poked at her milk tea, and crossed her long legs: "What don't you understand?"

"I don't understand why Ji Yong—" Yu Zhu paused, "is pursuing me?"

Before Zhou Qiyu could answer, she added, "I don't understand why Etsuya Koshima suddenly seems like a different person."

Zhou Qiyu looked at her and laughed: "You think you're not worthy of Ji Yong's affection?"

Yu Zhu did not answer immediately.

Judy ran over and grabbed her legs, trying to jump up. Yu Zhu put the coffee cup a little further away, bent down, and held it on her lap.

"I just feel," she stroked Judy's smooth fur, "that we're not on the same wavelength."

"That's right," Zhou Qiyu replied quickly.

Yu Zhu raised her head.

Zhou Qiyu laughed without a trace of guilt: "But dating doesn't necessarily mean you're aiming for a future together. At least that's true for people like us."

Yu Zhu fell silent.

Zhou Qiyu stirred his milk tea, not thinking anything of it. "If we're talking about dating, I think Ji Yong is not as good as Echizen Toru."

Judy noticed that Yu Zhu's hand had stopped, so she circled around her leg and nuzzled her with her head.

Zhou Qiyu continued, "When Ji Yong likes you, he'll treat you like royalty, making a huge scene, like he's telling the whole world he loves you. But once the novelty wears off and he doesn't like you anymore, he'll kick you to the curb without saying a word."

She looked up at Yu Zhu: "Yue Jianche is much simpler. He doesn't know how to love at all. Even if you break up, he'll still politely offer to support you. Otherwise, why do you think Cheng Fu is with him? Oh—you know who Cheng Fu is, right?"

"I should know," Yu Zhu thought for a moment, then hesitated, "I've met her."

Zhou Qiyu didn't say anything, but gave a contemptuous smile.

On the island counter, the coffee machine stopped keeping the coffee warm and made a soft beep.

Yu Zhu had already realized that she didn't understand Yue Jianche at all.

In her eyes, Echizen Toru was unpredictable, ruthless, and fickle. But in Zhou Qiyu's eyes, he had always been that way. She thought she had seen another side of Echizen Toru, but in reality, she had only finally discovered a side that others had known all along.

Yu Zhu couldn't help but ask, "Why do you say... Echizen Toru is incapable of love?"

A sly glint flashed in Zhou Qiyu's eyes.

"Wait."

She put down her coffee cup, got up, and went into the study. Yu Zhu heard the cabinet door open and the rustling of pages turning. After a while, Zhou Qiyu came out carrying a thick photo album with a dark green leather cover and slightly worn edges.

She sat back on the sofa, looking down as she flipped through the photos, her fingernails tracing the edge of the paper before stopping on a page.

"this."

Zhou Qiyu chased the puppy away and placed the photo album on Yu Zhu's lap.

It was a middle school graduation photo. In the photo, a group of teenagers stood on the steps, with their parents in suits and skirts behind them. Zhou Qiyu was easy to recognize; she had a small face, fair skin, and a bright smile, with an equally beautiful woman standing behind her. Ji Yong and Song Ban stood on the other side, both with short hair, with their well-dressed and elegant parents behind them.

Echizen Toru was also there.

He stood in the middle of the second row, wearing a white shirt and a black school uniform jacket draped over his arm, his face still showing the thinness of a teenager. Everyone else had an adult behind them, except for him, who had an empty space behind him.

"Have you met Yue Feng?" Zhou Qiyu asked.

"I've met him," Yu Zhu nodded. She recalled her confrontation with Yue Feng four years ago, and her ears burned slightly. "Uncle Yue is a very good person. I... didn't know back then."

"He's not that great." Zhou Qiyu closed the photo album and casually put it aside. "He's actually very good—a gentleman, handsome, well-mannered, and respectful. Any woman would like him."

Yu Zhu didn't understand why she suddenly said this.

Zhou Qiyu's gaze fell on the photo album again, and her voice softened: "But you've never met Etsuya Toru's mother."

Her gaze drifted further away, her expression a little complicated: "The eldest daughter of the Qin family. An artist. She plays the cello and paints. I saw her perform before I knew Etsuya Toru. When I went to Etsuya Toru's house in junior high, she poured me juice. When I looked at her then, I thought, how can there be such a beautiful and elegant woman in the world?"

Zhou Qiyu lowered her head and smiled slightly: "I'm even jealous of her. Jealous of a woman a generation older than myself, can you understand that?"

As Yu Zhu listened to her talk, a beautiful yet blurry silhouette slowly formed in her mind.

"I chose to study art, partly because of her." Zhou Qiyu looked up and smiled somewhat self-deprecatingly, "It's like if studying art will make me grow up to be like her."

Yu Zhu listened, speechless for a moment. Based on her observation, Yue Jianche's mother must have died long ago. Perhaps this is what they mean by "beauty is often short-lived."

"After that, I stopped being jealous of her." Zhou Qiyu's smile faded. "It's normal for such a proud woman to find it hard to accept that her husband could never love her after giving birth."

Is it impossible to love oneself?

Yu Zhu was stunned: "What do you mean?"

Zhou Qiyu looked at her, his eyes slightly raised, revealing a very light and mischievous smile.

"That's exactly what you mean."

Yu Zhu unconsciously gripped the hem of her dress with her fingers placed beside her legs.

Zhou Qiyu stirred her milk tea again: "Her suicide attempt caused a huge uproar back then. The Yue family wanted to suppress it, but the Qin family initially refused. My mother said that later, Old Master Yue personally went to the Qin family to apologize, and the two families talked behind closed doors all night before the matter was finally settled."

Yu Zhu's mind went blank for a moment.

Therefore, Yue Feng spends most of his time abroad.

Therefore, after Old Master Yue passed away, Yue Feng did not take over the Yue family.

Therefore, whenever Eshima Toru heard the word "mother," it was as if he were listening to someone else's story.

"In Yue Feng's eyes, Yue Jianche is an explanation," Zhou Qiyu said, biting her straw, her tone indistinct. "To his mother, he's proof of deception. Tell me, how could he possibly love someone?"

As Yu Zhu looked at the closed photo album, she seemed to see the boy in the white shirt in the photo again.

Something gently scratched her heart, bringing a hidden pain. Suddenly, she remembered many details. The cello in Toru Echizen's room, Toru Echizen saying he had no wishes on his birthday, the lack of any family photos in the Echizen family house... These fragmented memories fell together and suddenly took shape.

Zhou Qiyu looked at Yu Zhu's expression and slowly smiled.

"You feel sorry for Toru Koshima, don't you? You're starting to feel sorry for him, aren't you?"

Yu Zhu suddenly raised her head.

"Don't panic, your reaction is perfectly reasonable." Zhou Qiyu's tone was almost cruelly frank. "Otherwise, why do you think I love him? Of course, he's handsome, but there are plenty of handsome men. That's just human nature. It's the same reason why men like to persuade prostitutes to reform."

The slight sourness that had just arisen in Yu Zhu's heart slowly faded away.

She looked at Zhou Qiyu, and Zhou Qiyu looked at her too, without a trace of shame on his face.

Yu Zhu tilted her head slightly. Her gaze shifted from Zhou Qiyu to the ornately dressed puppy at her feet, to the artistic furniture, and to the spacious house that seemed to need an echo to fill it—she felt sorry for Zhou Qiyu.

She was clearly saying she loved someone, but she said it like she was admitting she was sick.

Yu Zhu said, "So the reason you didn't end up with Yue Jian Che is because you both knew that if you weren't together, you would always love him. He wouldn't have to take responsibility for you, and you wouldn't have to lose him."

Zhou Qiyu's brow twitched slightly, and he remained silent for a while.

Outside the window, the weather was beautiful. The sun shone brightly, the river water shone dazzlingly, and the entire living room was bright, clean, and free of shadows.

Zhou Qiyu laughed: "Zhuzhu, you're a little scary now."

"Just saying." Yu Zhu lowered her head and picked up Judy again.

Emily ran out of the doghouse, her pink skirt trailing on the ground, stomping on it every few steps. Zhou Qiyu bent down, picked her up, and straightened her bow with practiced ease. Yu Zhu stroked Judy's back, her fingertips brushing against the tulle of her little skirt.

They are all in good places.

A nice house, nice clothes, a good background. Even the dog has its own room. But you don't dare fight for what you want, and even if you get it, it's not what you wanted. To avoid getting hurt, first put yourself in a position where you can't lose, then laugh as you watch others fall.

She doesn't know how.

She wanted very little. First, she wanted to escape the Qinling Mountains; then she wanted to study hard; and later, she wanted to pay off her debts. Yuejian Che had once been like a distant lamp, guiding her forward. Now that lamp was still lit, but it no longer illuminated her path.

She won't take him as her guide anymore.

Yu Zhu hugged Judy and looked up: "Sister Nana."

"Um?"

"Teach me how to dress."

Zhou Qiyu's eyes lit up, as if he had heard some incredibly good news.

"Oh dear." She put Emily on the sofa, clapped her hands, and said, "You've finally figured it out."

The time that followed passed quickly.

When they left, Zhou Qiyu packed two large paper bags for Yu Zhu.

"These are all clothes I don't wear," Zhou Qiyu said. "Some of them still have tags on them, and they're just gathering dust."

Yu Zhu looked at the paper bag, but did not push it back as she had done before.

She took it and said earnestly, "Thank you, Sister Nana."

Zhou Qiyu raised an eyebrow: "Aren't you going to be polite with me?"

"I'll repay your favor when I have the chance in the future," Yu Zhu said.

Zhou Qiyu laughed uncontrollably after hearing this: "Okay, I'm waiting."

The elevator took Yu Zhu to the first floor.

She walked out of the lobby carrying the paper bag, the afternoon heat hitting her face immediately. The traffic outside was quiet, and the roadside fountain hummed softly in the sunlight. She looked down at her shadow; the paper bag hung at her sides, making her fingers a little numb.

The phone rang.

Liang Xia.

"I've arrived at the train station! Your Xia-jie is fully recharged and will be going to work tomorrow."

Hearing the energetic voice on the phone, Yu Zhu smiled involuntarily: "Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Absolutely," Liang Xia said from the other end of the line. "And I'll also introduce you to someone."

Swallows fly across the clear sky; spring is in full bloom.

Yu Zhu walked briskly towards the bus stop: "Who's there? Spicy rabbit head?"