Mud beads

The wind outside the balcony ruffled Yu Zhu's hair a little.

She looked at Etsuya and quietly said, "I didn't lie."

When Echizen heard her answer, his eyelashes fluttered.

"You mean," he laughed slowly, "that you want to sleep with Ji Yong?"

Yu Zhu frowned.

The word "sleep" came out of his mouth as simply as the word "eat."

But she knew that he was simply taking the issues from the card table, stripping away Zhou Qiyu's jokes, removing the way out Ji Yong offered, and leaving only the most unpleasant and embarrassing meaning to stab at her.

Why not?

Yu Zhu no longer wanted to explain.

Each explanation felt like handing herself back into his hands, letting him pick and choose, interrogate her, and judge her with that nonchalant laugh. She had just beaten him at that card table, and she wanted that kind of victory to become the norm.

"Isn't Ji Yong worth it?" she continued.

The smile on Echizen Toru's face finally faded.

"worth?"

"Yes, more worthy than you."

Yu Zhu hadn't expected to speak so confidently: "He's kinder than you, more open than you, more sincere than you, and he respects me more than you do."

She finished speaking in one breath, reached through Koshima Toru's arm that was across her, and pulled on the doorknob: "Get out of the way."

Under the moonlight, Echizen Toru's eyes remained lowered, his expression unreadable.

"Kindness." He put the word on the tip of his tongue, savoring it repeatedly, as if it were something new.

"right."

Yu Zhu pulled on the door again, but Yue Jian Che held it firmly and it didn't budge.

"Open and honest," he said again.

"right."

"sincere."

"right."

Echizen Toru tilted his head back and smiled.

"Yu Zhu." He looked at her again. "How can you still be so naive?"

Yu Zhu slightly raised her chin to meet his gaze, her voice turning cold: "At least I know what these words mean."

As soon as he finished speaking, he released his grip on the door.

Yu Zhu opened the door, brushed past Yue Jianche, and walked into the room.

The restless music and deep drumbeats rang in my ears again, but only for a moment before being abruptly stopped by the closing security door.

She was like a kite, pulled forcefully into the wind, and fell into a warm embrace.

A scalding breath pressed down on me. Before me was Toru Echizen's magnified face.

The air and lips were taken over together, and the woody scent mixed with tobacco and alcohol swept over them, inescapable.

Yu Zhu pushed Yue Jianche with all her might.

Her palm pressed against his chest, and through the thin knitted fabric, it felt like touching a piece of hard, burnt iron.

His hands gripped the back of her neck, holding her head firmly in place. Their breaths mingled, growing faster and faster, and Yu Zhu soon felt dizzy from lack of oxygen. But Yue Jianche still wouldn't let her go, pressing closer step by step until her back slammed against the iron gate.

Eshima Toru finally managed to create a fist's distance between them.

He looked down at her, backlit by the moonlight, his expression blurred. But the smile on his lips was more pronounced because of a glistening drop of saliva.

Yu Zhu's chest heaved violently as she raised her hand to slap him.

His wrist was grabbed by Toru Koshima in mid-air.

"Not today." He breathed softly, his eyes lowered, his tone gentle. "If we leave a trace, people will ask."

Before she could answer, he reached out and brushed his thumb against her lips: "You know I don't like lying."

Yu Zhu paused for two seconds, turned her head away, and forcefully shook off Yue Jianche's hand.

"madman."

Echizen Toru shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, and simply stepped aside.

The doorway is now empty.

Yu Zhu didn't look at him, opened the safety door, and stepped into the even more violently shaking sound.

The lights, the shadows, the smoke, the laughter—everything was still there. What had happened on the balcony seemed to be separated by this door, becoming a new secret. Yu Zhu walked through the crowd, her legs unsteady, her heart pounding. Her shoulder bumped into a dancing stranger, who cursed at her, but she didn't react at all.

Upon seeing the booths in the distance, she slowed her pace.

She couldn't appear too flustered.

Panic means revealing weakness.

Being timid will become fodder for others' gossip and a source of ridicule.

calm.

Yu Zhu took a deep breath.

It's not a big deal. My professor mentioned in class that there's an ancient Taoist saying: "This body is merely a form entrusted to Heaven and Earth, a temporary combination of the four elements, ultimately returning to dust." We must reject the "monument" mentality and turn our attention from the external world to ourselves. The physical body is inherently an external illusion; don't take external things too seriously.

She gritted her teeth and tried to cover up the surging emotions in her heart with things that could calm her down, but distracting thoughts kept chasing after her—anger, grievance, resentment, helplessness, and disgust.

She stood still, watching the faces of those lost in sensual pleasures pass by, and finally, she couldn't help but tremble.

Suddenly someone tapped me on the shoulder.

Yu Zhu turned her head away angrily.

"Hey beautiful, can we exchange contact information? Let's connect sometime!"

Behind her, the unfamiliar young man waving his phone saw her expression, swallowed his words, gave an awkward laugh, and waved his hand to step back.

Moth

When Yu Zhu walked back to the booth, Song Ban was talking to Nana, and Ji Yong saw her first.

"Why did you take so long?" Ji Yong put down her cup, her gaze falling on her face. "Are you feeling unwell?"

Yu Zhu didn't even sit down.

She picked up her light jacket, smiled faintly, and said calmly, "Yes, my stomach isn't feeling too good after drinking something cold. I'll head back now."

Zhou Qiyu let out a disappointed "Ah," and Ji Yong immediately stood up: "I'll take you."

"No need," Yu Zhu said.

Ji Yong ignored her and picked up her coat: "Let's go."

Yu Zhu looked at him, not moving an inch: "You've been drinking, you can't drive. It's very close to where I live, I can go back by myself. You guys continue having fun."

"I'll come back after I drop you off," Ji Yong said.

Song Ban looked over as well, his cigarette hanging in mid-air: "Let him go, otherwise he won't be in the mood to play."

Yu Zhu listened to the advice around her, and her temples began to throb again.

During the brief standoff, Echizen Toru slowly walked back at some point.

"Let her go." He sat down in the booth, his expression calm and his clothes neat. His gaze swept over Yu Zhu and then stopped on the coat in Ji Yong's hand. "Zhu Zhu is probably more independent than you think."

After speaking, he looked at Yu Zhu, a familiar, polite smile appearing on his lips.

"You agree, right?"

Yu Zhu raised her head but did not answer.

Her face was very white under the purple ambient lighting, which made her lips look bright red.

Ji Yong's fingers tightened around the collar of her coat, and the smile on her face slowly faded.

There was a slight pause in the air inside the booth.

Song Ban, with a cigarette between his fingers, remained silent. Zhou Qiyu glanced at the three of them, opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"I'm leaving now, goodbye."

Yu Zhu clutched her coat tightly and turned to walk downstairs. The music on stage was blaring; the DJ raised his hand, and another scream erupted from the dance floor. Her figure was quickly swallowed by the lights and the crowd.

Ji Yong stood still, without moving.

He took a breath, tossed his coat back into the booth, and turned to look at Echizen Toru.

"We're brothers, do we really have to spell things out?"