Rebirth 08: A Happy Life Begins in Elementary School

"Speaking of which, why didn't Shuyao ask you any questions today?" Chen Nian turned into his gossip mode.

"It's not like she has to ask every day."

"No, didn't the homeroom teacher assign a composition last week? The one we went over yesterday. I learned something about the topic..."

"Oh, oh, oh."

Chen Nian expressed disbelief with an exaggerated expression, "No way, you've already forgotten?"

Yes, somewhat.

Li Zhao was busy writing a long article last week, and this short piece was written during a break.

There's really nothing memorable about it.

"The teacher praised you in class and said everyone shouldn't follow your example. If that were me, I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

"Ha ha."

"...Your world and my world seem different?"

"Alright, what does this essay have to do with Shuyao?"

"Didn't she say she wanted you to see her essay?"

"Oh right." Li Zhao smiled and shook his head. He had been too focused on the big article these past few days and it was easy to overlook other things. "I think she should come over at noon and we'll need some time to talk about the essay."

Sure enough, during the break between the fourth and fourth periods, He Shuyao came to Li Zhao to schedule a lunch break.

When the two returned to the classroom after their meal, they found several new faces.

Jiang Qi and Liu Mingyu usually commute to school, and they were slowly packing their bags. They should have been home long ago.

And then there's class monitor Ma Yingying, who's still taking notes, but she's clearly a bit distracted.

These people have ulterior motives.

Li Zhao glanced at He Shuyao. "Should we wait?"

Why?

Extremely insensitive power.

"They'll definitely come and watch."

"Let them watch, I'm not afraid of them reading my articles." He Shuyao turned to look at Li Zhao. "Just say what you want to say, like usual."

He Shuyao's essay titled "I Learned to Persevere".

The content is very ordinary; it's about learning to ride a bicycle—a typical elementary school student's composition.

In Li Zhao's understanding, a good composition is one that elementary school students can write enough words, stay on topic, and write fluently.

If it can also express some genuine feelings and use some rhetoric, then it is definitely excellent.

Logically speaking, He Shuyao's essay should definitely be considered excellent, befitting her status as a top student in Chinese language.

But since they came to Li Zhao to give feedback, it's naturally not based on this standard.

"Learning to ride a bicycle is a good starting point. The essay has a complete structure, a straightforward and clear opening, and some interesting and real details."

He Shuyao nodded gently.

Jiang Qi and Liu Mingyu had already surrounded them, and Ma Yingying, who was not far away, was probably also listening intently, judging from her complete disregard for her notes.

"However, learning to ride a bicycle is too common; it's hard to come up with anything particularly interesting to write about. Is it based on your own experience?"

"Yes."

"That kind of writing can be moving through enough details and genuine feelings, but this essay is clearly lacking."

Jiang Qi stared wide-eyed at Liu Mingyu and then at Chen Nian.

His face was filled with shock.

Would Li Zhao really openly point out the shortcomings of He Shuyao's writing?

"Genuine feelings? How do I improve that?" He Shuyao asked earnestly.

"What you wrote are all objective facts, not things processed with your subjective emotions," Li Zhao said.

Chen Nian, who was taking notes, suddenly paused.

No, why does it feel like it's starting to veer towards something I can't understand?

"For example?"

"Look, it describes how Dad helped you hold onto the bike, but actually secretly let go, causing you to fall. Afterwards, you didn't want to ride anymore, and Mom said to you, 'Didn't you promise Dad you'd persevere?' 'How can you learn to ride a bike without falling?' Then you reflected and thought, 'If I'm afraid of falling, I won't learn. What can I learn then?' and went back to riding. You think this part needs to be revised to be more touching. How should you revise it?"

He Shuyao frowned slightly. "May I ask, which line in this passage do you think is the best?"

"I was so nervous that my palms were sweating. As soon as I put my foot on the pedal, the bike started to shake."

"Huh?" He Shuyao was taken aback.

"And then there's the story of how I scraped my knee and it burned. I sat on the ground, tears welling up in my eyes."

"It's all... 'me'?"

"You're half right."

"Oh, is it because of the emotional descriptions?"

"It should be said that these are subjective emotional processing. 'My knee is scraped and scraped' is an objective description, that's actually what happened, but the burning pain you felt after you fell is your experience and feeling. Only when you write it down can I, as a reader, better and more directly feel the pain after you fell, and only then can I resonate with the 'perseverance' that follows."

"Hmm, I see. If I want to revise it, I should write about my parents' emotions? For example, 'Dad ran over and asked me if it hurt,' but that doesn't feel real. I scraped my knee because my dad let go, so he must have been nervous and guilty, but he also had to make me persevere."

"Oh, right." Li Zhao smiled appreciatively.

"Anything else? Anything else?"

"Another big issue. Staying on topic isn't just about 'staying on topic,' it's about strengthening that connection," Li Zhao said. "Look, after you were injured, how did you go from being afraid to wanting to 'persevere'?"

He Shuyao thought for a moment, "Well... my mom said I promised to persevere, and I felt a little ashamed that I gave up on something I said so easily. Then I remembered how our teacher always taught us to be fearless in the face of difficulties, so learning to ride a bicycle is nothing. Besides, you..."

At this point, He Shuyao suddenly covered her mouth.

No one paid much attention, because Li Zhao quickly followed up with another question:

Are you persisting for your own sake, or because of your mother's words?

"Of course, it's for myself."

"That's right, that's your subjectivity. The title 'I Learned to Persevere' has 'perseverance' as its theme, but the core is 'I'. Why did 'I' persevere? How did 'I' persevere? What changes did 'I' experience? These are the moving core elements of the essay. Take another look at how you wrote it."

He Shuyao immediately showed an expression of sudden realization.

Because what she wrote was just two sentences her mother said, which she reflected on, and then she directly started the challenge again. She didn't write about her mental journey during the challenge; she only wrote about how she did it, and then she was very happy and felt grateful that she had learned to persevere.

"Should I write more about my own inner changes and thoughts here?"

"Yes."

A few seconds of silence followed.

Ma Yingying had just turned her head to look when she suddenly heard He Shuyao say:

"That's amazing!"

Ma Yingying was stunned.

"I've learned a lot. I'll have to ask you more questions in the future, Teacher Li!" He Shuyao smiled happily, her eyes sparkling.

She even prepared to extend her little finger, but quickly withdrew it.

She admires you, happiness +3, total 16

No, system, wait a minute. Don't be so blunt. Can't you be a little more tactful?

Ma Yingying was deeply shocked.

Why?

Li Zhaoming clearly rejected many aspects of He Shuyao's essay. Why didn't He Shuyao, a top student in Chinese, feel embarrassed?

In front of the top six students in the class from the last exam—including Chen Nian!

If Chen Nian knew that Ma Yingying thought this way, he would have to put aside his grudges and show respect.

"Li Zhao, could you take a look at mine too?"

Excited, Liu Mingyu handed over his essay, his eyes full of anticipation.