Oh no, my deskmate is a yandere!

That's it, that's it.

He sighed helplessly and tapped the screen a few times with his finger.

[Farewell: Goodnight.]

After waiting for nearly ten minutes to make sure that no more messages came from either of them, Yang An turned off the screen and tossed his phone onto the bedside table.

I can finally get a good night's sleep without worry.

After a long day of tiring classes, I come home and cook, sometimes I don't have enough salt, sometimes I add too much.

After barely managing to finish eating, she wanted to lie down and sleep, but Jiang Nianxi violently woke her up again.

Who can he tell about this grievance?

Yang An lay on the bed for a while, but found that no matter how he lay, he was uncomfortable.

Looking down, I realized I hadn't taken my clothes off yet.

No wonder you're so awkward.

He cursed himself inwardly for always forgetting things since he entered his senior year of high school.

Well, that's a disaster; he even forgot to take off his clothes before going to bed.

"Never mind, I'll take a shower while I'm at it."

He shook his head and sat up in bed.

I changed into my pajamas, folded my school uniform and placed it next to the washing machine, and turned on the bathroom heater.

Once it was warm enough inside, Yang An hummed a little tune as he went in.

The glass door slammed shut.

The sound of rushing water could be heard coming from inside.

……

The coolness of the night seeped through the open window.

The bedroom lights were still off.

Jiang Nianxi curled up in the cold corner of the bed, hugging her legs, her head down, feeling the faint chill of the outside world brush against her forehead.

The outside world is dazzling and vibrant, while inside it is lonely and dark.

Everything here.

She herself seemed out of place in the outside world.

She dislikes loneliness, dislikes darkness, and dislikes processing negativity and pain alone.

But it was precisely in these moments that she felt a sense of quiet security.

Being alone is fine too.

I'm used to it anyway.

"Oh……"

She looked up at the open window.

The soft, pale moonlight bathed the edge of the glass and spilled onto the neat bed sheets.

but.

Pain is just pain.

How could anyone truly willingly endure suffering?

A hint of melancholy flashed in her calm eyes.

This went on for six years.

She didn't know why she felt heartbroken, or why she felt lost even though she seemed to have gained so much.

Jiang Nianxi met many people from junior high to high school.

Because of her outstanding appearance, girls rarely played with her, and over time, she became accustomed to being isolated.

Almost every boy who approached her had an ulterior motive.

There are top students, ordinary students, and even delinquents from outside the school.

Those people, that hidden greed.

I feel nauseous and vomit.

What she remembers most vividly is her third year of junior high school.

The thin, middle-aged teacher called her to his office alone after class.

Under the guise of teaching, that dirty hand secretly tried to touch her waist.

Jiang Nianxi didn't hesitate, slapped the other person hard, and left with a cold face.

From then on, she became extremely resistant to the approach of strange men, whether they were her age or older.

until……

That day, there was that boy who stood foolishly at the back of the classroom, being led to her by the homeroom teacher.

My deskmate is different.

There was no longer the dirty gaze of those people.

Cleanliness was the impression her deskmate had given her after only a month of getting to know each other.

She thought that her deskmate was the same kind of person as her.

She noticed that her deskmate only had one good friend, Pan Zhufa, in the huge class.

She saw that her deskmate, like her, was used to being alone and preferring to be by herself.

Similarly, I've grown accustomed to loneliness.

Like two isolated islands, at a certain moment, the mist dissipated, and they gazed at each other from afar.

The resonance that came from the soul allowed her to find common ground for the first time in her gray life.

So she tried to get closer to him and try to learn more about him.

She wanted to build a small bridge between two isolated islands of souls.

However, her deskmate always rejected her and pushed her away.

The two people seemed to be separated by a natural barrier.

They share similar personalities, despite their academic achievements, physical appearance, and gender.

At first, she just felt a little regretful.

But when her classmate selflessly shielded her from the knife, blood dripped from his fingers onto her face.

For the first time, a crack appeared in her long-frozen heart.

She wanted to say that someone like her wasn't worth him risking his life to save.

perhaps……

If that fruit knife pierced her skin, separated her inner muscles, stabbed her spine, and severed her already exhausted nerves.

This gray period of my life has finally come to an end.

On the hospital bed, I saw my little classmate, and while I was calm, I also felt a little embarrassed.

Jiang Nianxi thought she had become numb to emotions, but at that moment, her dry eyes felt moist again.

She is telling the truth.

She had come to regard Yang An as her only friend.

They are travelers who can share warmth in the long, dark night.

Even if it was just wishful thinking on her part.

Every time she was near him, she felt a long-lost sense of comfort.

If even this friend wants to distance himself from her and throw her back into the boundless darkness once again.

"Ugh... Waaah..."

Tears gradually welled up in her eyes and slowly slid down her cheeks.

The water gathered on his chin, eventually turning into droplets that fell onto the cold floor.

Jiang Nianxi couldn't control herself.

She didn't know when her emotions would break down.

But at least now, her pain is a thousand times, ten thousand times greater than before.

She could sense her classmate's distance and indifference.

She is very perceptive; she knows everything.

But she didn't know how to maintain this hard-won connection.

So for the past month, she has been struggling on the edge.

She wanted to use her good qualities to get closer to Yang An.

When she sees other girls getting close to Yang An, she panics and feels pain.

She was afraid of being abandoned again.

Therefore, she chose to target the thorny parts of herself with any other woman who wanted to get close to Yang An.

Do you like it?

Jiang Nianxi looked at her hands, her lips trembling slightly.

she does not know.

She really doesn't know.

She just didn't want to lose this person who was like her.

She just... wanted to grasp this resonating soul.

Explaining it as a friendship, rather than liking someone, might be more acceptable to her.

"..."

Wiping away her tears, Jiang Nianxi sobbed a few times and silently got up from the ground.

The thin pajamas couldn't keep out the winter wind.

It has a cooling effect, and now it's a medicine that can relieve her pain.

Looking not far away, I saw that familiar cotton coat, quietly folded and placed next to the cabinet.

She has never washed the cotton coat since Yang An returned it to her.

Whenever the heartache caused by the estrangement strikes, Jiang Nianxi picks up this garment.

It once carried the scent of Yang An, but it has long since dissipated.

But she still staggered to the wardrobe, grabbed the cotton coat, and buried her head deep inside.

He took a greedy drag.

"Well……"

Clearly, there was no trace of that person.

But she just felt like her little classmate was right next to her.

It's like... holding the other person, burying your face in their shoulder and neck, and smelling their scent up close.

She knew that doing so was wrong.

It's abnormal, it's morbid, it's something that will be condemned and subjected to strange looks if it gets out.

But right now, all she wants is to alleviate her pain.

At this moment, my lonely and fearful heart finally found a little comfort.