Xiao Jingyuan lifted his head from his lap. Moonlight fell on his face, on that face that was a mess of alcohol and tears, and in those red and swollen eyes, something else suddenly lit up—shining, burning, as if it were on fire.
"Qinglan." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I want to hold you."
Before Xie Qinglan could answer, Xiao Jingyuan had already gotten up from the ground. His movements were more agile than before, probably because he had cried enough and was under the influence of alcohol, and was in a state of excitement and intoxication.
When he pounced on her, Xie Qinglan was knocked backward by his impact, her back hitting the bedpost.
Xiao Jingyuan pulled him into his arms without a second thought, his arms wrapped tightly around him as if he wanted to meld Xie Qinglan into his very bones.
"You're so soft." He repeated, burying his face in Xie Qinglan's neck, nuzzling her again and again, his nose pressing against her collarbone like a big dog sniffing its master. "You smell so good. Not from incense, but from your own scent. I've smelled it for three years, and I still can't get enough."
Xie Qinglan was so tightly held by him that she could hardly breathe, so she raised her hand and pushed against his chest.
"Xiao Jingyuan, let go—"
"I won't let go." Xiao Jingyuan shook his head, holding her even tighter. "I said I won't let go. In my past life, I let go, and you died. In this life, I'll never let go, even if it means death."
As he spoke, his lips pressed against Xie Qinglan's neck. It wasn't a kiss, but a gentle, sticky rub against her skin, warm and slightly damp with the scent of alcohol, moving from her neck to behind her ear, from behind her ear to her chin, and from her chin to the corner of her lips.
Xie Qinglan's breathing became erratic.
"Xiao Jingyuan, you're drunk—"
"I'm not drunk," Xiao Jingyuan mumbled, his lips already pressed against Xie Qinglan's.
As the kiss landed, Xie Qinglan's fingers gripped Xiao Jingyuan's shirt tightly.
It wasn't the kind of rough, punitive kiss from my past life, but a careful, ingratiating, and clumsy kiss that was almost laughable.
Xiao Jingyuan's lips were burning hot, with the spiciness and slight astringency of the wine, and he pressed them against Xie Qinglan's cool lips, gently rubbing them again and again, like a big dog carefully licking its owner's palm.
Xie Qinglan neither dodged nor pushed.
Xiao Jingyuan kissed Xie Qinglan for a while before loosening his grip slightly, his forehead pressed against Xie Qinglan's, panting heavily.
His eyes were still red, with undried tears still clinging to his eyelashes. His entire face was flushed crimson by the alcohol and his emotions, and his eyes shone as if they held the entire Milky Way.
"Qinglan," his voice was hoarse and hot, "you're so soft. Your lips are so soft. Your whole being is so soft."
Xie Qinglan's ears turned red.
"Shut up—"
Before he could finish speaking, Xiao Jingyuan kissed him again.
This time it was deeper and more intense than before. He was no longer cautiously probing, but with a long-suppressed and uncontrollable desire, his tongue pried open Xie Qinglan's lips and teeth and probed inside.
The aroma of the liquor lingered between their lips and teeth, spicy yet with a hint of sweetness, as if an entire jar of strong liquor had been melted into this kiss.
Xiao Jingyuan's kisses were hurried and clumsy, without any rhythm, like a starving dog finally pouncing on the bone it had been longing for. It was desperately eager, but it couldn't bear to actually bite down, so it just licked and rubbed against the bone.
Xie Qinglan was breathless from his kisses, feeling as if a fire was burning in her chest, or as if something was slowly melting away.
He pushed Xiao Jingyuan's chest, and Xiao Jingyuan released him, putting some distance between them. Both of them were panting heavily.
Xie Qinglan's lips were kissed until they were red, and a faint blush appeared at the corners of her eyes. Her usually cold and aloof face was now illuminated by the moonlight, revealing an indescribable and alluring beauty amidst her cool demeanor.
Xiao Jingyuan was stunned.
"Qinglan." He chuckled foolishly, reached out and cupped Xie Qinglan's face, his thumb gently tracing Xie Qinglan's slightly swollen lower lip from the kiss. "You belong to me. From head to toe, every single hair of yours belongs to me."
"Nonsense—" Xie Qinglan turned his head to try to avoid his hand, but Xiao Jingyuan's hand followed his face and relentlessly brought it back.
"I'm not wrong." Xiao Jingyuan stared at him stubbornly, his eyes, tinged with the effects of alcohol, filled with earnestness, earnestness bordering on obsession. "You are mine. You were mine in the past life, and you are mine in this life. In the next life, and the life after that, for all eternity, you are mine."
After he finished speaking, he kissed her again.
This kiss was longer than the previous two. He seemed to be savoring some delicacy, gently sucking Xie Qinglan's lower lip until it was slightly numb before releasing it a little. He traced the shape of Xie Qinglan's lips with the tip of his tongue, lingering there for a while before reluctant to leave when he reached the corner of his mouth. Then he mumbled something, which Xie Qinglan didn't hear clearly. Just as he was about to ask, his mouth was sealed again.
Over and over again.
He'd give her a quick kiss, let go, catch her breath, and say something like, "I love Qinglan so much" or "Qinglan, you're so soft," before kissing her again. When he let go, Xie Qinglan tried to speak, but before she could even utter a single "you," he kissed her again.
When Xie Qinglan tried to push him away, her hand had just touched his chest when he lowered his head again, silencing all the words she hadn't had a chance to say.
This happened countless times.
Xie Qinglan's lips went numb from his kisses, her head spun, and she was completely trapped in Xiao Jingyuan's burning embrace, with nowhere to retreat or escape.
Later, he simply stopped struggling and stopped trying to speak, letting Xiao Jingyuan hug, kiss, and rub against him.
Xiao Jingyuan's kiss gradually changed from passionate to gentle, from gentle to lingering, and from lingering to indistinct. His eyelids began to droop, and his lips pressed against Xie Qinglan's lips as he mumbled something indistinctly.
"Qinglan...I really love you so much..."
"I like it so much it hurts my heart..."
"Don't ignore me... I can't take it..."
His voice grew softer and softer until it became a muffled murmur that faded away from Xie Qinglan's lips.
His body went limp, and he leaned against Xie Qinglan, resting his head on Xie Qinglan's shoulder, his breathing gradually becoming even and long.
He fell asleep.
He was still clutching Xie Qinglan's clothes tightly, his knuckles white, as if he was afraid that if he let go, the person in his arms would disappear.
Her other hand was still wrapped tightly around Xie Qinglan's waist, like a child guarding their food and clinging to their favorite toy, refusing to let go no matter what.
Xie Qinglan was pressed against the bedpost by him, half of his body was numb. He looked down at the fluffy head on his shoulder, at the sleeping face smeared with alcohol and tears, and stared for a long time.
Moonlight streamed in through the window, casting the shadows of crabapple petals onto the quilt, swaying gently. In the distance, the faint sound of a night watchman's drum drifted in, one beat after another, like someone softly knocking on the door of someone's heart in the depths of the night.
Xie Qinglan slowly raised his hand and brushed the stray hairs that had fallen across Xiao Jingyuan's forehead behind his ear. His fingers paused for a moment on the man's brow bone, then gently, very gently, traced the curve of that sword-like eyebrow.
"What a stupid dog," he muttered, his tone devoid of reproach, only a soft helplessness that even he himself didn't realize.
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