The night before the college entrance exam results were released, I redeemed my Peking University ad

"Congratulations, Ji Bai! Today's ceremony was truly spectacular!"

The CCTV reporter's voice was still trembling, but her professional skills were truly outstanding. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down, revealing the standard smile that she had honed through countless live broadcasts.

"I want to ask a question on behalf of the entire nation that everyone most wants to know—"

The female reporter paused, as if building up the weight of the question.

The surrounding reporters all perked up their ears, the red dots on their cameras lit up in unison, and they all pushed their microphones forward.

"What exactly did you want to express in the poem you wrote for your alma mater?"

"Is the message you're trying to convey to students that they should cherish their youth, study diligently, and not be misled by material possessions and pleasures?"

"After all, the saying 'Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, for time is still a-flying' is a reminder to all, to bloom with all our might in our prime! Right?"

"Do the right thing in the prime of your life!"

"Is it right?"

The CCTV reporter became more and more excited as he spoke, his eyes shining like searchlights, his face full of confidence that "I have grasped the central idea of ​​this poem."

The other reporters around him nodded in agreement, looking at Ji Bai with expressions that said, "Yes, that's what I thought too." After all, the meaning of the poem was too obvious.

I urge you to cherish your youth!

What is this if not an encouragement to study?

Surely we can't be advising people to give up, can we?

Even the CCTV director who was packing up his equipment nearby nodded subconsciously.

This interpretation is spot on.

This interpretation couldn't be more correct.

This interpretation could be used as the standard answer for the college entrance examination reading comprehension section; not a single word would need to be changed.

Everyone was waiting for Ji Bai to nod, waiting for him to say, "Yes, that's exactly what I meant," and then the news article could be finalized.

Ji Bai wrote a poem for his alma mater, encouraging students to cherish their youth.

The title has already been drafted.

A perfect source of positive energy. A perfect role model for young people.

A perfect inspirational story.

But Ji Bai frowned in confusion after hearing this.

No, that's not it.

"You're overthinking it!"

Five words, light and airy.

But it was like a nuclear bomb that exploded in everyone's minds.

The CCTV reporter's smile froze on her face; her lips were still in the shape of saying "Thank you, Ji Bai, for your wonderful answer," but she couldn't utter a single word.

Her partner was completely overwhelmed at this moment.

What?

No?

All the reporters around, including the tens of millions of viewers watching the live broadcast, were completely stunned. Wasn't this supposed to be an encouragement to study?

Then why did you write "I urge you to cherish your youth"?

Why write "Don't wait until there are no flowers left to break the branches"?

The CCTV reporter, being from CCTV, reacted extremely quickly; his brain restarted in less than a second after it crashed.

She pressed for an answer, her voice tinged with a panic she herself didn't realize:

"So... what exactly are you thinking? What is this poem trying to express?"

Ji Bai looked at the camera with a serious expression that didn't seem like he was joking.

Then, he uttered those words that will be recorded in the history of online literature:

"It's all about cherishing the present moment."

"Play games if you want to, stay up all night if you want to."

Eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty.

"Stop thinking all the time about 'I'll work harder and enjoy life later.'" "Later? Will you even have the energy for that later?"

CCTV reporter: "..."

Provincial TV reporter: "..."

CNN reporter: "..."

AFP reporter: "..."

Everyone was completely stunned.

The entire scene fell into a deathly silence once again, as if wondering, "Did I hear that right?"

The CCTV reporter opened her mouth, but the standard interviewing logic in her mind, the news framework she had used for ten years, and the three-part structure of "positive energy - touching - sublimation" had shattered into pieces.

She instinctively retorted:

"But... staying up late is bad for your health and will shorten your lifespan!"

Ji Bai smiled.

"Isn't the lifespan reduced by staying up late compensated for by staying up late again?" CCTV reporter: "..."

What the hell!

That makes so much sense!

The CCTV reporter felt like the logical chains in his brain were snapping and crackling, like an overloaded server with its fans spinning wildly, the temperature soaring, and about to burst into smoke.

But for a moment, she couldn't find any words to refute it.

Seeing her overwhelmed by the romantic vibe, Ji Bai's lips curled up slightly, and he added:

"Think of it this way: a person's lifespan is like a gacha pool; the total amount is fixed."

"Staying up all night is like using up your credit card in advance."

"But the happiness you endured is real and tangible!"

"This wave is called 'early consumption, early enjoyment'!"

CCTV reporter: "..."

"You're some kind of superconductor expert, how come you can talk better than someone who studies philosophy?" The reporter from the central station's voice was a little weak.

Ji Bai smiled.

Life is but 30,000 days; enjoy each day to the fullest!

"Eat what you want, play what you want!"

"This is the meaning of... 'Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, lest they wither and fall, leaving only bare branches!'"

His words left all the reporters present speechless.

He forgot to put the microphone away, and all the questions he had prepared got stuck in his throat.

What I thought was a passionate and inspiring piece of writing to encourage learning turned out to be a sobering declaration against involution.

The contrast is just too great!

Wang Jianguo, who was standing on the edge of the stage, stumbled and almost fell.

My timeless masterpiece!

My family heirloom! How did it suddenly become a declaration of staying up all night?!

Old Wang's face turned green then white, then white then green again.

The look in his eyes when he looked at Ji Bai was filled with resentment.

Meanwhile, on the teachers' side, Li Mei covered her mouth, her shoulders shaking violently.

She wanted to laugh, but dared not.

When Ji Bai recited the poem just now, she burst into tears. She felt that this young man was so profound, so sentimental, and so heartbreaking.

All I want to do right now is rush up and kick him.

really.

It's still that dog's mouth that can't produce anything worthwhile!

She knew it!

She should have known!

But she couldn't suppress the smile on her lips. Tears welled in her eyes, yet her lips remained stubbornly upturned.

He was crying and laughing at the same time, like a lunatic.

But ironically, she felt that this was the real Ji Bai.

……

Meanwhile, the live stream audience was absolutely in stitches.

"Aaaaaaah! I can't take it anymore! I just swore I'd never stay up all night playing games again, and then Ji Shen slapped me awake!"

"Season God: Wake up! Even if you try hard, you're still a useless workaholic!"

Teacher: This poem expresses the author's central idea of ​​urging people to cherish time and study diligently. Ji Bai: No, I didn't! Don't talk nonsense!

"Season God: Get back to what you were doing. No matter how hard you trash try, you'll never surpass me!"

"Hahahaha, so true! I'll take your advice! I'll stay up all night! Anyone who tries to stop me will have to deal with me!"

"I just set this poem as my college entrance exam countdown wallpaper, but now I've quietly changed it back to my game wallpaper..."

"Ji Shen's move turned a poem encouraging study into a poem urging people to quit!" "This is exactly what a timeless classic should look like in the eyes of a slacker!"

Ji Bai: My poems, my rules! Encouraging learning? Forget about it! I suggest you give up!

"Ministry of Education: ...We are studying whether this poem should be included in textbooks."

"Sword Immortal: I've come today on my sword to tell you all, stop studying and go have fun!"

"This isn't Ji Bai Affiliated High School, it's Happy Planet Affiliated High School!"

"The cultivation world is abuzz with discussion: Celestial Venerable Ji gave a sermon today, 'It's better to slack off than to undergo tribulation.' The immortals, after hearing this, suddenly understood and collectively skipped work!"

"Immortal Realm: This guy is the number one demonic cultivator!"

"Emperor Ji Bai is terrifying! One poem has caused students across the land to collectively defect!"

"From today onwards, I am the leader of the Ji Clan's 'Slacking Off' branch! Anyone who tries to stop me from staying up all night, I'll fight them to the death!"

"I just want to know what expressions the leaders of the Council of Councilors and the Provincial Governor are making right now..."

……

The director clearly understood the audience's tastes. The camera precisely cut to the leadership's seat.

The council leaders maintained their calm and composed smiles, though their lips twitched slightly twice.

The provincial governor lowered his head, supporting his forehead with his hand, his shoulders trembling slightly.

The camera then shifts to capture Prefect Liu.

The prefect's mouth hung open, his expression shifting between "What this child said doesn't seem to be wrong" and "But this doesn't conform to mainstream values." In the end, he picked up his teacup and used drinking water to cover up his loss of control over his expression.

The live chat exploded again.

"Your Excellency, I just finished praising you, and this is what you give me?"

"Leaders of the Council of State: Thank you so much."

"Prefect Liu: How should I write this draft?"

"Leaders: We're in a real bind!"

"Ji Shen single-handedly silenced all the leaders present!"

"This is true workplace reform, not even sparing the leaders!" The camera returns to Ji Bai.

The boy stood among the reporters, his expression calm, as if he had just said something completely ordinary.

"Does anyone have any questions?"

Ji Bai asked again.

The domestic reporters looked at each other, and for a moment no one dared to speak.

This little rascal is too talkative. What if he says something shocking again? They'll have trouble writing about it when they get back!

But foreigners don't care about these things.

They don't understand the sensitive points of the Chinese internet, nor do they care about "mainstream values".

They only care about one thing.

A CNN reporter was the first to shove the microphone up and ask in heavily accented American Chinese:

"Hey Chicken White, how are you? I'm a CNN reporter!"

"I imagine viewers around the world watching the live stream right now are extremely curious about that... uh, sword behind you!" He paused, clearly unsure of the correct Chinese word for "sword," and only continued after the translator beside him gave him a quiet hint:

"Could you please tell me what it's made of?"

Is it really a superconducting material?

Ji Bai smiled, didn't correct his pronunciation, and simply nodded:

"That's right."

"It's made of room-temperature superconducting materials."

hum-

An uncontrollable commotion instantly erupted at the scene.

Although many people had already guessed it, hearing Ji Bai admit it himself was still a completely different experience.

Especially those scholars who were always eavesdropping.

Several Nobel laureates, who were sitting in the guest area and were about to leave, all stopped in their tracks upon hearing this.

MIT's Director Anderson immediately took half a step forward, his glasses almost slipping off, and exclaimed in a low voice, "Impossible!"

"The Art of Seduction!"

"Amberley Worbo!"