My father ordered me to kill the emperor, but His Majesty bestowed a princess upon me instead.

On the day the general case was made public, many volumes were displayed outside the Imperial Council Hall. None of them were called the General Account. One volume detailed the Empress's last three days. Another detailed the grain debts of Jiangbei. Another detailed the nineteen children. Another detailed the Zhenxi Emperor's three days of illness. Another detailed the three lines of Shen'an. Another detailed the order to assassinate the emperor at Qingxia.

The current case of Wang Heng, the past precedents of Pei Shen, and the people I killed for the Wang family in the past—each has its own page. They can all point to each other. No single book can be taken away alone and claim to be the whole. Ah Liu walked around the row of desks and came back to ask me, "Young master, which book is the last one?"

"No." "Then which page tells me who won?" Bai Zhi didn't even look up: "No." A-Liu thought for a long time. "Then there should be lunch, right?" Finally, someone answered this question quickly.

On the third day after the general case was made public, the Emperor summoned me to Changning Palace. The gates were open. Xiao Lingyi, Bai Zhi, and A Liu were all outside. He rarely summoned me alone now. It wasn't that he didn't trust me. It was that he was afraid others would use the argument that "His Majesty only trusts Shen An" to their advantage. After I entered, his first question was: "Will you still kill me?"

I paused, stunned. After all this time, we'd finally come back to day one. "The old order has been terminated," I said. "I know." "I have no new order to kill either." "I'm asking you." I looked at him. "Sometimes I think about it." A gasp came from outside the door.

The Emperor didn't order my arrest. "When?" "When you saw the late Empress's own voice." "And?" "When you asked me why my mother wouldn't forgive you." "And?" "When you wanted to use the third dose to wake yourself up and sign the decree."

The emperor sneered. "You've thought of quite a lot." "Yes." "Why haven't you acted?" "Killing you wouldn't undo the late empress's promise to stop the conflict." "It wouldn't repay the grain debt for Jiangbei." "It wouldn't allow nineteen people to have their own names." "It wouldn't prove that I am Shen An."

The emperor remained silent. After a long while, he asked, "So you won't kill me?" "So these matters don't need to be resolved with killing." "What if I close the tent again later?" "Stop." "What if I kill you?" "Live first." "And then?" "Remember you." The emperor looked at me for a long time.

"Sometimes I really hate you." "I know." "Knowing but not changing?" "Your Majesty is the same." He probably really wanted to throw something at me. In the end, he held back. That's progress. There was a piece of paper on the table. Written by the emperor himself. Not in the format of an imperial edict.

There is no imperial seal. Xiao Jingheng may trust Shen An. Trust may not substitute for evidence, procedure, or witnesses. Shen An may question Xiao Jingheng, but does not acquire the authority to keep the accounts simply because he is trusted. No one may impersonate Shen An, suppress the testimony of others, or make Shen An bear the emperor's decisions simply because "His Majesty only trusts Shen An."

I finished reading. "Your Majesty wrote it yourself?" "I can write." "Who will verify it?" The Emperor's face darkened. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Meng Zhun will verify the brush. Du Cheng will verify the time. Zhao Ning will watch me write in person. Bai Zhi will examine the ink." Ah Liu peeked in from outside the door: "Then what will I be looking at?"

The Emperor looked at him. "See if I've cursed anyone." Ah Liu nodded seriously. "Yes, I have. We're of one mind." Xiao Lingyi finally laughed. The Emperor said, "All of you, get in here." After they entered the hall, he asked me again, "Do you trust me?"

I thought for a moment. "Which one?" The Emperor raised his hand to his forehead. "You've learned it too." "What?" "Which one?" He looked at everyone. "I used to say, I only trust Shen An." Ah Liu nodded. "That's a famous saying."

"Shut up." "Yes." The emperor continued, "This statement is now null and void." Ah Liu couldn't help but ask again, "Your Majesty no longer trusts the young master?" "No." "Then what is it?" The emperor paused. "You can't just trust one person." This statement was far more unpleasant than "Of all the officials in the court, I only trust you."

That's much better. On my first day in the palace, I was terrified by that phrase, "Only trust." Later, countless people used it to open doors for me, to silence the emperor, and to find identities for the fake Shen An. Now, finally, someone has taken it back. Not to take back trust. To take back the power that trust could replace everything.

I suddenly felt that this trip to the capital hadn't been in vain. The Emperor handed me the page. I didn't take it. "Why?" "I can't keep it all by myself." He closed his eyes. "Make six copies." "Alright." "Can you leave now?" "Yes." "Get out."

As I walked out of Changning Palace, Xiao Lingyi asked, "Is this what you men call a letter?" "Which kind?" she glared at me. I immediately corrected myself, "Probably." A-Liu followed behind, whispering, "Young Master, His Majesty just told you to get out; does that mean you were of sound mind?"

"Haven't you already experienced it?" He thought seriously for a moment. "Very clear-headed." Xiao Lingyi turned around. "Let me say it again, don't eat tonight." Ah Liu and I shut up at the same time. This is also easy to verify.

A month after the case was made public, many people finally began to leave the interrogation table. This sounds simple, but it's difficult to do. Those who have been investigated for too long become accustomed to seeing everyone as a witness. Those who have been investigated for too long also become accustomed to thinking about whether anyone will remember every word they say.

Ah He moved to live by the river outside the capital. He learned to keep track of the water level. His first letter to me was only three lines long: "Yesterday the river rose three inches. Today it has receded one inch. The answer I wrote the day before yesterday is no longer correct." He said the river was good. At least it didn't force him to memorize "accurate" or "inaccurate" in advance.

Shen Lu was serving his sentence in prison. He was allowed to send one letter per month under his real name. He wouldn't use the number nine parcel. He wouldn't hang Shen An's name. His first letter was to Ahe, containing only one sentence: "From the west post station in the capital to the prison gate, it's a total of 723 steps." Ahe replied: "There's no post station by the river."

The two began corresponding. Qinggui stayed in Yong'an to make wooden boxes, specifically the kind where you could see right through them. Some people complained they weren't pretty. He said, "Pretty boxes can hide things." Of course, that might not be entirely true. But he was a box maker, so they let him be. Shiping stayed in Qingxia to inspect the military orders and routes.

He only checked the section he was responsible for. Once, he missed writing an hour, and his father returned the entire page. He didn't add a more reasonable time. He went to ask again. Wu Yi continued to run his tailor shop. Among the nineteen children, there was another girl who had always been called Number Three.

After stopping the drug trials, she discovered she preferred sweet to bitter. She later named herself Tianhe (Sweet Rice). When A-Liu heard this, he said the name sounded like a dessert. Bai Zhi told him to shut up. Her mother continued returning grain to Yong'an. Her father returned to Qingxia. The two occasionally corresponded.

Most of the content wasn't about missing each other. It was about finding fault with each other. Father wrote: "Three bushels of military rations have been replenished this month." Mother replied: "Who checked the scale?" Mother wrote: "The wooden bucket is half-worn." Father replied: "Replace it." The marriage was not remarried. People were no longer separated by the pages of the dead.

Princess Xiao Lingyi remained Princess Zhaoning. She did not automatically assume the regency due to her mother's death. The succession rules, which had been revised many times during her illness, were removed. She deleted two rules that were most convenient for herself. One was that Zhaoning would naturally become the first temporary authorized representative. The other was that if the emperor was in a coma, a member of the imperial clan must "represent the imperial family in consent."

She said, "If I really want to gain power in the future, I'll make it clear why in that matter. Don't reserve positions for me first." I thought she was right. I didn't dare praise her. If I did, she would ask if I was trying to save trouble again. I continued to work as an imperial censor. But I was suspended from leading the investigation of the Wang family's old case for six months.

The reason is simple. I'm too deeply involved. The first day was over, and Ah Liu asked me, "Young Master, what are you investigating today?" "Nothing." "Then what are you doing?" "I don't know." He was very happy. "Sleep." I couldn't sleep. In the end, I went to accompany Xiao Lingyi to look at the new inheritance regulations.

She pushed a page towards me. "Any objections?" I looked at it for a while. "I haven't finished reading it yet." She looked up and smiled. "That's rare." In the past, I always felt that it was useless not to give an answer quickly. Now I realize that "I haven't finished reading it" can also be a complete sentence.

At night, I still think about the dead. My father's old decree. The emperor's neck. The knife in Wang's prison. And those four people I killed for Wang, whose deaths have yet to be definitively proven. Their families continue searching. Compensation will come from my salary.

Xiao Lingyi didn't take her place. Neither did the Princess's residence. Sometimes I felt five years was too long. She only said, "Then don't die."

Five years later. The three grain debt plaques in Yong'an still hung there. The thousand shi owed by the emperor had long been repaid. The debts owed to Father's military tents had also been settled. Mother's personal seventy-eight shi had only one dou left. She was still using the ten-liter wooden measuring cup left by Father. The few lines of writing on the bottom of the cup had been worn very faint.

Made by Shen Lie. This is the amount of grain to be returned to Gu Qinghe personally. It does not cover Shen Lie's responsibility. Father came this time too. He's on the left side of the signpost. I'm on the right. No one helped Mother pour the grain. She's old and can't lift the whole bushel steadily. Cao Shun helped her carry it to the granary entrance. He helped calculate the wages; the wages are recorded separately.

The last ten liters fell into the granary with a very soft sound. Bai Zhi checked the measure. Lin Huan counted the grain. Jiang Bei witnessed and signed. Only one sentence was added to the page: Gu Qinghe's personal repayment is complete. After reading it, the mother said, "It's fine." The father asked, "Should we remove the plaque?" "No."

"Hmm." This time, he didn't ask why. Five years was enough for his father to learn that some "knowing" only needs to stop at "knowing." The emperor didn't come. He had a fever. The medical report finally only listed the names of living people. Two officially registered physicians treated him.

Xiao Jingheng is discerning. He has chosen not to travel far. Ordinary government affairs will proceed as usual. No serious orders will be issued without illness. There is no Zhao Qi. There is no Feng Xi. No dead man will come to his rescue. Ahe saw the copy of the report and replied with two words by the river: "I know." This was Ahe's own "I know."

They wouldn't enter the Emperor's presence. Nor would they open doors for anyone. Of course, the rules didn't suddenly make everyone better. Three years ago, the Emperor wanted to seal off a separate border tent. The Donghua Gate refused, demanding supplementary documentation and the scope of authority. He cursed them for half a day in the palace.

The next day, it was still rewritten. Ah Liu insisted on recording that incident of swearing in the side page of the living testimony. The emperor, upon learning of it, reprimanded him again. Therefore, his mental state remained excellent. Wang Heng remained in prison. He appealed many times over five years, and several of the corrections were indeed successful.

It wasn't her doing, cross that out. The life sentence didn't automatically disappear. Pei Shen's three-year ban on holding important positions expired, and he didn't return to the cabinet. Shi Younian stayed in Qingxia as a restricted instructor after serving his sentence. He no longer taught anyone to practice on other people's injuries. Qing Gui ultimately couldn't find his earlier original name.

He later became a box maker, and before his marriage, he showed all his old name pages to his future wife. She asked, "What is your surname?" "Qing." "Really?" "I chose it myself." She handed the papers back to him. "Then it's true." The nineteenth page still had blank spaces.

Some were found later. Some weren't. No one filled in the blank with a dead person's name just because five years had passed. Xiao Lingyi and I had a daughter. Her nickname was Xiao He. It wasn't bestowed by the emperor. Nor was it given by her father. When she was five years old, she squatted under the grain debt sign and asked me, "Why haven't we taken it off even though we've paid it all off?"

"Because it happened." "Does something that happened mean it's gone forever?" "Keep the important things first." "Who decides what's important?" Before I could answer, Xiao Lingyi said from behind, "Don't ask your father, he can write for half a day." Xiao He thought it made sense. Then she went to ask her mother.

"Was Grandmother a good person after returning the grain?" Mother said, "It's not that simple." She then pointed to Father. "And Grandfather?" Father said, "The same." Finally, he pointed to the Emperor's piece. "And Grandfather?" I said, "The same as him." She frowned, clearly dissatisfied.

Children like simple answers. Adults actually do too. Good people. Bad people. Loyal ministers. Traitors. True. False. Once you have them, you don't need to think about many things anymore. But after all this fuss, what we've finally learned is precisely not to rush to cram people into those categories.

Xiao He still wouldn't stop. "Where's Dad?" There's also a compensation plaque outside the Censorate. It's been paid off in five years. It's still hanging there. She asked Xiao Lingyi, "Where's Mother?" Xiao Lingyi said, "I also bear some responsibility." A-Liu immediately interjected, "I've never killed anyone."

Bai Zhi chimed in from the side, "You've delayed submitting the certificate three times." Ah Liu's face darkened. Everyone laughed. It wasn't that the debt had become lighter. It was that the debt no longer only appeared at the worst times. It could now be placed on the same day as a meal, a bowl of noodles, or a child's problem.

Noodles were cooked in the granary. Qinggui brought wine. My father didn't drink. The emperor wasn't there, so no one offered him a toast. I stood at the granary entrance, watching people come and go. My father was the first to have me stand behind him. The emperor had me stand beside him. Wang Heng wanted me to stand on top of all the tents.

My mother only said one thing back then: Stand by the tent. The dead won't come back. Some names will never be found. Some people will never be forgiven. The emperor will make mistakes again. So will I. But when someone says stop, at least someone can hear. When someone says they don't know, there's no need to immediately give them an answer.

Someone who wants a name can write it themselves. Someone who doesn't want to come back can't have the door locked from the outside. Xiao He looked up at me. "Dad, where will you stand from now on?" I looked at her. "Beside the tent." She nodded. Such an ordinary answer.

It should be ordinary anyway.