Exorcism in Los Angeles? Just talk it out!

【Ding! 】

[Successfully deceived a possessing spirit]

[Experience points +100]

[Proficiency in making nonsensical statements +10]

[Free attribute increased by 1]

[Ding! Your entry "Speaking Nonsense" has reached LV2. Keep up the good work!]

Player: Leon

Occupation: Trainee Exorcist

Rating: 2

Physical condition: 5

Power: 3.5

Spirit: 3.4

Free attribute points: 1

Experience points: 131/200

Entry/Lightened: 【Speaking Nonsense/LV2】【Calling a Deer a Horse/LV1】

As soon as the system notification sounded, Li Ang flicked the check with his fingertips and kissed it. This was Mr. Ding's reward.

The afternoon sun lazily slanted into the shops of Chinatown, making rows of paper ingots, paper villas, and paper sports cars glitter. Behind the cashier, Li Ang leaned back in his chair, gently waving the checks in front of him, a satisfied smile slowly spreading across his lips.

"Hehe... another ten thousand US dollars."

He carefully folded the checks, solemnly put them into his shirt pocket, patted them twice, looked up at the ceiling, and began to seriously calculate his income for the month.

Such a large order might not come around even once a year.

"Property tax is $5000, and the IRS will ask for $3500. I only have a little over $1,000 left this month."

"Not bad, at least I can go to Hollywood to help those young actresses again..."

Li Ang, whose English name is Leon, is a name he chose himself.

He didn't originally belong to this world.

In my past life, I was an online novelist, always sporting dark circles under my eyes, surviving on takeout, and spending my days typing away in front of the screen until my wrists went numb, living a life of utter chaos. Then, one ordinary night, I suffered a heart attack, died suddenly, and in the blink of an eye, I was in a different place.

America, reborn in another world, is named Li Ang in Chinese and Leon in English. She is the grandson of the owner of a paper-making shop in Chinatown and is now an apprentice exorcist about to take over the family business.

This world was largely similar to his previous life, with slight differences in the course of history, but overall it hadn't strayed too far off course. There was only one thing that almost made him lose his composure in the first few days after his rebirth—

Evil spirits truly exist in this world.

Across the ocean, after the founding of the People's Republic of China, monsters were no longer allowed to become spirits, and life became peaceful and quiet. But here in America, ghosts and spirits roam freely, and the exorcism industry is thriving, even more prosperous than the online novel market of his previous life.

Isn't that strange?

Li Ang's great-grandfather's generation was in this line of work, a proper charlatan. Later, when the East cracked down on evil spirits, the charlatan business was cut off, leaving them with no way to make a living.

Thirty years ago, a family packed their bags and smuggled themselves into Chinatown. They opened a paper-making shop and took on odd jobs such as exorcism, feng shui, fortune telling, and palm reading. They settled down in a daze.

Now only the grandfather and grandson are left, relying on each other for survival.

Originally, Li Ang did not intend to get involved in the exorcism circle. The exorcism profession was too risky. If you walked on the road too much, you would eventually get into a car accident. The original owner's father died in an exorcism incident, and he died without a complete body.

But then the IRS came knocking on their door demanding payment, claiming that their family had been involved in cash transactions and tax evasion for many years and needed to pay it off within a specified time. But which small business doesn't use cash transactions?

Then the bank came knocking to collect the annual property taxes. According to Los Angeles law, these old houses in Chinatown should be valued at a maximum of 1%, but they were valued at a staggering 2.5%...

Li Ang guessed that it must be some Mr. Smith who had his eye on the land in Chinatown.

My mother fell ill and never recovered, and then she passed away.

Simply put, the Li family is on the verge of being wiped out.

To pay off his debts, to make money, and to avoid having his house taken away and becoming homeless, Li Ang followed in his father's footsteps and became an exorcist as well.

Despite America's advanced technology, many people still subconsciously believe in this kind of thing.

Houses where someone has died are guaranteed to see their listings plummet in value, without exception; in Utah, there are countless religious sects, and they are very popular. Around Halloween, the phone lines for exorcism appointments are always busy.

On the third day after the transmigration, the system quietly went online—a set of abbreviation system with an extremely low barrier to entry, and the core gameplay consisted of only two words: verbal persuasion.

Using the entry increases proficiency, and using it to deceive people or ghosts, or to eliminate evil spirits, will earn experience points to level up. After leveling up, you will gain free attribute points.

Although it may seem a little frivolous, it's undeniably useful.

For example, in today's case, a medicine box, a prescription, a mirror, and an old newspaper were all used to uproot the possessing spirit of the Ding family. Not a single magical artifact was used, and the system immediately gave a 100% experience bonus.

Li Ang lowered his head, his gaze falling on the pot of white lilies on the table, their petals full and in full bloom.

He cleared his throat, straightened his posture like a leader about to deliver an important speech, leaned forward, lowered his voice, and spoke slowly and solemnly, word by word:

"Your name is Lily, nicknamed Little White. Listen, you are destined to be extraordinary—because you are a flower with a spirit, you can sense the location of evil spirits, you will be the queen of all flowers, the overlord of flowers, the queen of flowers."

[Ding! Calling a deer a horse, proficiency +1]

Li Ang's eyes lit up, and he continued, his tone growing increasingly certain, as if he were witnessing the birth of a legend:

"When you grow up, zombies and evil spirits will be your nourishment. You can eat them one by one until you're full, and you'll be invincible."

[Ding! Calling a deer a horse, proficiency +1]

"Very good." He nodded in satisfaction, gently brushed a petal aside with a finger, and said earnestly, "Little White, I have high hopes for you."

The back door of the shop creaked open, and footsteps approached from afar, carrying a hurried and energetic feel.

An old man strode in. He had white hair, was missing two teeth, and was holding a beautifully crafted paper doll with blond hair and blue eyes, with even the eyelashes neatly pasted on.

Li Ang's grandfather, Li Zhanyuan, was in his early seventies. He walked with a brisk pace and his back was ramrod straight. Judging by his appearance, he could fight for another thirty years.

The old man entered the room and immediately saw his grandson squatting in front of the flowerpot, muttering to himself. He frowned and said irritably:

"If you keep talking to the potted plants like that, you'll go insane sooner or later. If you want to exorcise demons, you should honestly learn what our ancestors left us: a peach wood sword, black dog blood, a Bagua mirror, red thread, and an ink line—you can't do without any of them."

"Times have changed, old man." Li Ang straightened up, casually pushed the flowerpot aside, and said nonchalantly, "Those are all outdated, and they won't be suitable for America, so their exorcism effect will be limited."

"It's the 21st century now. Our exorcism family also needs to keep up with the times and learn some new techniques."

"A new method." Li Zhanyuan placed the paper figure on the counter, glanced at him sideways, and curled his lips into a disdainful smile. "You think you can exorcise demons by just babbling at a potted plant? I'll go and pee on a young boy to ward off evil spirits; that'll be much more effective than your method."

"You already have a grandson and you're still using a virgin's urine? Listen to me—"

"What's there to say—"

Li Ang raised two fingers and said seriously, "What I call mental enchantment magic is the core principle of attaching your thoughts to a medium and giving it the ability to perceive. As long as you cultivate your mental power to a high level, you can even pack up and take away evil spirits with a piece of plastic wrap in the future."

Li Zhanyuan's chest heaved violently. "Bullshit!"

Li Ang remained calm and added insult to injury: "Then when I went to the Ding family yesterday, I didn't bring any magical artifacts, just a medicine box, and I still managed to deal with the possessing spirit, didn't I?"

"..."

Li Zhanyuan's lips moved, but the second half of his sentence got stuck in his throat, unable to come up or go down, causing his old face to turn blue and purple from holding it in.

Ding!

[Speaking Nonsense] Proficiency +1

He was aware of what happened yesterday.

Mr. Ding came to our door through an introduction, saying that his daughter was being haunted by a ghost.

Li Zhanyuan had been in this line of work for decades and had a keen eye. He immediately noticed the man's dark complexion and the gloomy, negative aura emanating from him—clearly, there was a genuine evil spirit in his home. He immediately declined the job, citing his advanced age and back problems.

The Li family's ancestral precept is: if you encounter a truly evil spirit, especially a very powerful one—do not accept it.

These are lessons and rules learned at the cost of generations of lives, and they cannot be broken.

Unexpectedly, Li Ang took on the job privately.

He didn't even take the exorcism toolbox, just carried an ordinary medicine box out, and in less than two hours, he was out unharmed, not even a hair out of place.

Afterwards, he shamelessly claimed that the possessing spirit was not a fierce ghost at all, but a girl who had lost her mother and suffered from schizophrenia, and that it was a secondary personality she created herself.

How could he not tell if it was an evil spirit?

It can only be said that the student surpasses the master...

Li Zhanyuan swallowed those four words in his heart, snorted, and deliberately turned his face away.

Seeing this, Li Ang pressed his advantage and continued to elaborate on his theory: "The so-called peach wood sword is nothing more than the trunk of a dead plant. Black dog blood is nothing more than biological cells. The Bagua mirror is just a mirror with cinnabar. They can exorcise demons not because of the materials themselves, but because of the user's intention and spiritual power attached to them—do you understand, old man? As long as your spiritual power is strong enough, the medium is completely unimportant."

[Speaking Nonsense] Proficiency +1

Li Zhanyuan clutched his chest, took a deep breath, waved his hand, and said weakly, "Alright, alright, I can't argue with you. If you keep going, my heart condition will flare up."

"It's alright," Li Ang raised his eyelids slightly, "You have medical insurance."

"...You little brat." Li Zhanyuan gritted his teeth, picked up the tablet and showed it to him, "Something unclean has appeared at Congressman Smith's house. Do you want to go check it out? I looked it up, and it might be a poltergeist. Low risk, high reward."

As times change, exorcists naturally have to keep up with the trends. So there is a dark web where exorcists are registered. They check job information, assess risks, and then take on jobs.

After completing the task, the website will pay you.

The advantage of being organized is that you can share information. By inputting the client's description, you can immediately find out what kind of evil spirit it is.

"But I still need to go to Hollywood..."

Despite his verbal protest, Li Ang borrowed the tablet and looked at the details. "How much? Don't you usually forbid me from taking jobs involving real evil spirits? Are you afraid I'll end up like that dead old man?"

"This is different," Li Zhanyuan said confidently. "They offer more money; the starting price is ten thousand."

"The bank loan we owe, plus the tax bureau's fines, add up to more than ten thousand a month. If you pull off one job, we won't have to worry about money for a month."

"Besides, Commissioner Smith's grandfather consulted me about feng shui thirty years ago. He's a long-time client. Once we establish a good relationship with him, we won't have to worry about official troubles..."

The reason the Li family owns this house is, frankly speaking, because they lack powerful connections in official circles, which is why some people want to target them.

Once you have a legislator as your backer, it's just a matter of making a phone call.

That's why Li Zhanyuan wanted to take on this order.

Li Ang nodded. "Alright."

He grabbed the car keys from the table, stood up, and picked up the pot of lilies as well.

Li Zhanyuan frowned. "What are you going to do with those flowers?"

"Take him out to see the world," Li Ang said calmly. "Xiao Bai is still young and needs more experience."

The old man stared at him for two seconds, then felt a tightness in his chest again and decided to give up.

He pulled a string of old brass bells from the drawer. The bells were oxidized and blackened, yet they were quite heavy. He raised his hand and hung them on Li Ang's wrist, his tone unusually serious, now bearing a hint of solemnity: "Wear this. And remember the Li family's ancestral precepts."

"I know." Li Ang carried the flowerpot in one hand and walked towards the door, his tone casual. "The real evil spirits run away, the fake evil spirits take the job, and the half-real and half-fake ones are just estimated. That's about it."

"Just these few?"

Li Zhanyuan took two steps back, his voice low, a rare seriousness appearing on his face, "You think the ancestral precepts are just because of fear of evil spirits?"

Li Ang paused for a moment.

"Evil spirits can be fought, driven away, and destroyed." The old man stood at the shop entrance, the setting sun casting its rays upon him, making him appear more dignified and otherworldly than usual.

"But evil spirits are different. Evil spirits cannot be killed. They kill according to the rules, and they can be resurrected after death. The only way to deal with them is to seal them away. Remember, if you encounter them, don't try to be clever, just run."

The copper bell swayed gently on Li Ang's wrist, making a soft tinkling sound.

"Got it. It's a one in ten thousand chance. I'm not that unlucky to run into one." He looked down, nodded, pushed open the door, and stepped into the bustling afternoon in Chinatown.

The Li family had spent many years in Chinatown, conducting interviews, recording information, and compiling records. They had developed a detailed classification system for the evil spirits in Amy's area.

Earthbound spirits, object-bound spirits, vengeful spirits, floating spirits, possessing spirits, harassing spirits, soul-sucking spirits, cursed spirits, malevolent spirits, evil spirits

Earthbound spirits and object-bound spirits attach themselves to fixed locations or specific objects and do not easily leave their positions.

The vengeful spirit is obsessed with its target and will never let it go once it has set its sights on revenge.

The floating spirits wander aimlessly and are harmless most of the time, but they will attack indiscriminately once they violate certain rules.

Psychics tend to cause trouble, such as throwing things, turning off lights, and creating panic. Their harm is limited, but they are mostly annoying.

Soul-absorbing spirits work silently, gradually consuming vital energy. By the time the host becomes aware of it, the host is often already extremely weak.

Further up, cursed spirits are man-made, formed from resentment and curses, with complex origins, making them the most difficult to deal with.

Evil spirits come from another world and are essentially similar to demons in the Western context. Their rules are completely different from those of native evil spirits. They vary in strength and are not to be trifled with.

And the last category, evil spirits—

Also known as urban legends.

Freddy Krueger, The Ring, The Haunted House, Platform 13, Bloody Mary, and so on.

These are also the highest-paying jobs on exorcism websites, with starting prices of millions of US dollars.

As long as people believe it exists, it exists. As long as fear circulates among people, it cannot be killed. The only way to eliminate it is to make people forget it—and this is often a hundred times more difficult than direct exorcism.

This was the only thing Li Zhanyuan had repeatedly instructed Li Ang about.

You can touch anything, just never touch urban legends, no matter how high the reward is.

Because once you're entangled with someone, it's not a matter of a short time, but a lifetime.

Behind me, the signs of Chinatown swayed gently in the wind, the air thick with the aroma of cooking and the sounds of people bustling about.

But no one knows that in the gaps between these bustling crowds, in some dark corners, something has never truly disappeared.