Crossing Orb: Newtype Commander

Chapter 114 Dialogue

"So what does she want?" Kira's voice remained calm.

Aslan's lips trembled. "She wanted—peace. She wanted my father and me to be safe. She wanted the children of PLANT to no longer have to fear persecution from Naturals. But she didn't get it. She died from a Natural's nuclear bomb, floating in the vacuum, leaving not even a complete body behind."

His eyes reddened, but he didn't shed a tear.

"So I must fight. To prevent more mothers from dying under nuclear bombs, and to prevent more children from losing their mothers."

That's my answer.

Kira looked at him, a sorrow that defied description in his eyes. "Athrun, do you think fighting can end this war?"

Aslan fell silent.

"You kill a Natural, and his Brotherhood joins Blue Cosmos. You destroy a Combine Mobile Armor, and the Combine builds ten new ones. Hatred doesn't disappear with killing; it only deepens with killing. It's a vicious cycle."

"Then tell me, besides fighting, what other options are there?" Aslan's voice held a hint of despair. "Am I supposed to lay down my weapons and tell Blue Cosmos we can coexist peacefully?" They'd answer me with nuclear weapons!

Kira didn't answer immediately. He looked at the sea, at the waves shimmering in the morning light, and remembered Butterfield's words—"Fighting protects nothing. War only makes more war."

"I don't know," Kira finally said, "but I do know that killing isn't the answer. I've seen too many corpses, too many weeping mothers, too many children who have lost their fathers. Every corpse adds another seed of hatred."

The seeds will sprout, grow, and blossom into more flowers of hatred. Then more people will die. It's a vicious cycle, but we can't keep killing just because we don't know the answer. Someone has to stop.

"Who will stop first? The natural person? Or the adjuster?"

"Someone has to stop first."

Aslan stared at him for a long time, then gave a wry smile. "Kira, you're still so naive."

"Perhaps," Kira's lips curled into a slight smile, "but what's wrong with being naive? At least I'm still willing to believe in the possibility of mutual understanding. And you, what are you still willing to believe in?"

Aslan didn't answer. He looked down at the compressed biscuits in his hands. The biscuits were already crushed, and crumbs slipped through his fingers and were scattered by the sea breeze.

"Kira, who did you meet during your time in Orb?"

Kira thought for a moment. "Many people. Tohru, Miria, and Sai, classmates from Heliopolis. Captain Lamias, Captain Bakirulu, and Mr. Mu from the Archangel. And Commander-in-Chief Asha."

"Athrun," Athrun's voice held a complex emotion, "that man known as the Red Comet. Have you seen his speech about the new humans?"

"I've seen it."

"Do you think he's right? Humanity transcends race, evolution follows no path, and the future is not divided into camps."

Kira was silent for a moment. "I think he's right. It's not because he has power, but more because he's willing to believe. He could have lived a stable life in Orb, but he chose to stand up and tell the world that we can be different."

I'm willing to believe in someone like that.

Aslan lowered his head, staring at his hands. His hands were covered in scars—from long hours piloting mobile suits, from long hours holding guns, and from shrapnel wounds sustained on the battlefield. Each scar was a mark of battle, proof of a time when he had to kill.

"Kira, you know, many on both sides consider Commander-in-Chief Athulhu a traitor." Some say he betrayed Naturals because he proposed that "humans are not divided by race." Others say he abandoned the Coordinators because he acknowledged the value of Naturals. He pleases neither side, but he said it anyway.

"Because he doesn't care about being hated," Kira chimed in. "What he cares about is whether the war can be ended."

Aslan fell silent. In the distance, Mu's Sky Tyrant circled over the sea, its wings gleaming silver in the sunlight.

"Kira, do you regret it?" Athrun's voice was soft. "I regret leaving PLANT, I regret becoming a 'traitor to the Coordinators' in the eyes of the Naturals, I regret killing so many people."

Kira remained silent for a long time. Images flashed through his mind: the ruins of Heliopolis, the mother and child floating in the vacuum; the children's smiles as they ate stew in the Archangel's mess hall; Butterfield saying in the sunset, "Fighting can't protect anything." Each image pierced his heart like a needle, each piercing taking something away—perhaps innocence, perhaps fear, perhaps just the willfulness of "not wanting to grow up."

"Regret," Kira finally said, "but not because I killed people, but because I had no other choice. If one day I had a choice—to protect those I want to protect without killing—I would choose not to kill. But until then, I will continue to fight. To protect."

Aslan looked at him, his amber eyes gleaming with a complex light.

"Kira, you're still the same person. Even when you were little, you were the same. You could have stayed in a safe place, but you insisted on going to a dangerous place. You could have ignored others, but you insisted on meddling. You could have given up, but you insisted on persisting."

"Because I made a promise to someone." Kira's voice was calm.

"Who?"

"General Asgard. He saved me. He told me in the Junius 7 wreck area not to get into the habit of killing."

Kira paused, looking into Athrun's eyes. "He made me believe that even in war, it's possible to choose not to kill. So I won't give up. Even if one day I have to fight you—I won't give up."

Aslan's fingers tightened slightly. He didn't answer, but simply lowered his head, staring at the grains of sand on the beach.

The two fell silent again. The sea breeze weakened, and the sea was as calm as a giant mirror. Sunlight peeked out from behind the clouds, casting a golden glow across the water.

"Athrun," Kira broke the silence, "Where are your friends? Do you have any friends in ZAFT?"

Aslan looked up, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Yes. Yzak, Diego, and Nicole. They may have sharp tongues, but they're all good people. Yzak is tough on the outside but soft on the inside, Diego seems carefree but is actually very reliable, and Nicole is still young, but he's more mature than any of us."

Do they know about your mother?

"I know. They won't mention it in front of me."

Kira nodded. "I have many friends too. Tohru is always smiling, Miriam loves taking pictures, Sai is very reliable. And there's Captain Bakirulu, who seems serious but is actually very caring. Captain Lamias is as gentle as a mother."

"You've found a wonderful friend."

"Um."

Athrun looked at Kira's profile, at the soft glow on his face in the morning light, a glow that Athrun envied. It wasn't "happiness," it was "belonging." Kira had found a place to return to, people willing to fight alongside him, a place where he could accept imperfections.

"Kira, you've changed," Athrun said softly. "You've become stronger."

"You've changed too." Kira turned his head and looked into Athrun's eyes. "You've become more serious."

Aslan gave a bitter smile. "Perhaps. Because of what you haven't seen, I've been killing people all along. Since joining the army, I've spent every day obeying orders."

Why?

"Because I am a soldier. Soldiers obey orders, no reason is needed."

"But deep down, you keep asking 'why?'"

Aslan's fingers paused slightly. He looked into Kira's eyes, those amber eyes holding a light he couldn't avoid—not a question, not a judgment, but "understanding."

"Kira, you know what? Sometimes I hate you."

Kira didn't answer, but just waited quietly.

"I hate that you, a Coordinator, side with Naturals. I hate that you can protect those you want to protect even without killing. I hate that you remind me of my mother."

Athrun's voice began to tremble. "Mother always said, 'Athrun, you must be a gentle person.' But what use is gentleness in this world? Who can gentleness protect? Mother was gentle, so she died. Kira was gentle, so he was tormented by his own gentleness on the battlefield."

"Aslan"

"But I also envy you," Athrun interrupted him, "envy that you can choose not to kill. In ZAFT, I have no choice. If my superiors order me to shoot down an enemy aircraft, I must shoot it down. If my superiors order me to destroy a target, I must destroy it. I am not Athrun Zala, I am Athrun Zala, the ZAFT Red-Clad Elite. My name always has a prefix, and my choices always have parentheses—with the order written inside."

Kira looked at him, his amber eyes filled with sorrow. "Athrun, you still have a choice."

"What choice?"

"Let go of hatred. Not now, not today, but someday in the future. When you see another possibility, choose to believe in it."

Aslan stared at him for a long time, then slowly shook his head. "Kira, you're still so naive."

"Perhaps. But only the naive can see what others cannot."

The two fell silent again. This time, the silence was even heavier than before. Because in that silence, they both heard that sound was not the sound of waves, not the sound of the sea breeze, but the alert tone of radar.