Which way to go is the road?

At two in the morning, Xiang Fei woke up thirsty. He tried to open his sleepy eyes, but the bright lights and dizziness made him reluctantly close them again. Slowly regaining his senses, he opened his eyes, only to be met with an unfamiliar scene that left him bewildered.

Suddenly, a fair arm wrapped around her. Xiang Fei was startled and turned around to see Qian Luomei lying there quietly. A blanket was haphazardly draped over her body, her two slender white legs were exposed, curled into a beautiful curve, and her face was calm and peaceful.

Xiang Fei carefully recalled what happened last night. He only remembered that he and Xiangzi almost fell when they helped Qian Luomei into Shuiyunjian. He had no memory of the rest of the night!

He slapped his head hard, some vague memories lingering, some tactile memories seeming to be there yet not there! At this moment, Xiang Fei didn't know how to describe his feelings. Regret, shame, anger, annoyance... none of them, yet it seemed like he had them all at once.

Qian Luomei was his respected boss, like an older sister. He never had any improper thoughts about her, but now this has happened.

"A true person should restrain their primal desires"—after puberty, Xiang Fei made this summary based on his reading and personal experience, and adopted it as one of his mottos.

But a single night of drunkenness shattered the principles I held dear. Although I was unconscious at the time, upon reflection, it was entirely avoidable. For example, I could have drunk less, and consciously avoided being alone with my partner when I was sober...

What's the use of thinking about all this? What's done is done; the most important thing to consider now is what to do next. But Xiang Fei's mind was in turmoil, and he hadn't thought of that. It wasn't until he saw the clothes scattered on the bed and floor that he realized what was happening!

Xiang Fei gently pushed Qian Luomei's arm away, carefully picked up his clothes, and put them on. Luckily, it was late summer, and he didn't have many clothes. After Xiang Fei was dressed, he quietly closed the bedroom door, sat on the sofa, and began to think about what to do next.

He glanced at the living room, a European-style room, elegantly and beautifully decorated, full of the petit-bourgeois charm described in books. Meanwhile, he was still living in a basement, dark and damp, where he rarely saw the sun.

Young men from rural backgrounds are almost all a bit chauvinistic, and Xiang Fei is no exception. In this matter, his thinking is that he has to take responsibility! However, the gap between Xiang Fei and Qian Luomei leaves him confused. How can he take responsibility? Will Qian Luomei let him take responsibility? Even if she does, what can he do? After all, he's still working at her internet cafe!

Xiang Fei closed his eyes and pondered, his hand unconsciously clenching into a prayer gesture, but he couldn't come up with a solution! Yes, what solution could he possibly come up with? A young man who had just taken his first steps in life, experiencing something like this for the first time, at such an age, he didn't yet know right from wrong in many things. He should just focus on the present!

Xiang Fei suddenly opened his eyes, glanced at his digital watch—it was 3 a.m.—and looked at the living room, a look of horror on his face: "I can't stay here. If I stay here tomorrow morning, Xiangzi and Wang Haoming will understand everything, and Lao You and Dong Lu, who come to the internet cafe, will definitely ask them all! How embarrassing will that be for Sister Luo Mei!"

Xiang Fei quickly got up, pushed the door open to leave, but turned back just as he was about to take a step. He quietly opened the bedroom door, glanced at the sleeping Qian Luomei, straightened up, bowed, and whispered, "Sister Luomei, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Tears streamed down his face. He wiped them away, pushed open the attic door, and quietly opened the rooftop door. He tiptoed down the stairs, found the key to the front door, and stepped out onto the street.

A cool breeze blew by, and Xiang Fei crossed his arms and walked briskly down Yandu Street in the early morning.

Thankfully, Lao You moved to the school after the start of the semester, otherwise this matter really couldn't have been kept secret.

Back in the cool basement, Xiang Fei immediately went to bed and lay down under the covers. He was wearing a T-shirt and trousers and had walked for more than 10 minutes on the streets in the early hours of late summer. He felt very cold, and coupled with the effects of the alcohol and the conflicting emotions in his mind, he felt uncomfortable all over.

He wrapped himself tightly in the blanket, hoping the warmth would offer some comfort. He couldn't sleep, his mind replaying the recent events, unable to come to a conclusion, yet unable to stop himself from pondering them. It was like two groups of people engaged in a mental tug-of-war, pulling back and forth in a stalemate, neither able to win, but the game had to continue!

Gradually, they grew tired and collapsed to the ground. Xiang Fei fell asleep, waiting for tomorrow to rashly intrude into their lives.

"It is your warm gaze that makes me look resolutely ahead, reminding me that I should not give up when I fall..."

Xiang Fei turned off the alarm clock, struggled to get out of bed, and turned on the light using his phone. He got dressed, washed his face in the bathroom, and then dragged his listless body out of the basement!

The sun had just risen outside, and the streets were already bustling with people. The sounds of traffic and the familiar greetings of old neighbors in the distinctive Beijing dialect filled the air. A flock of pigeons flew overhead, whistling softly – a typical Beijing morning!

Xiang Fei usually enjoys the morning scenery of Yandu while going to work. He used to only see it in TV dramas when he was a child, but now he lives in it, so he always feels a strange sense of happiness when he goes to work.

At this moment, Xiang Fei had no time to worry about any of this. It was only a ten-minute walk from his basement to "Shuiyunjian," but he wished the walk would inexplicably lengthen and time would slow down. After dawdling for more than 20 minutes, Xiang Fei finally reached the revolving door amidst the ivy and forced himself to squeeze through.

The customers who had stayed overnight at the internet cafe had left, and the stench of feet and the foul air from their metabolism created a very unpleasant smell. Xiangzi saw Xiang Fei and immediately greeted him; Xiang Fei smiled in response.

"Xiang Fei, what time did you get back yesterday? Why didn't you ask me to keep you company!"

"Huh?...Oh, I'll leave as soon as I get back to Sister Fuluomei. You...aren't you busy? I didn't want to bother you. Anyway, I'm not drunk, I can take care of myself!"

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you're alright. I was quite worried about you yesterday! But Xiang Fei, you can really hold your liquor. If I drank that much, I would have passed out long ago and would definitely be sleeping right there!"

The word "sleep" immediately touched on Xiang Fei's sensitive area, and he quickly made an excuse to end the conversation.

When no one was looking, Xiang Fei nervously clutched his chest. After calming down for a moment, he immediately threw himself into his work. He drew back the curtains, opened the windows, cleared away various clutter from the table, wiped the keyboard and mouse, swept and mopped the floor…

Only when he was busy could he hide his embarrassment and panic, and at the same time, he was atoning for his sins and paying off his debts through hard work!

Qian Luomei came down to the front desk promptly at 9 o'clock, calmly and nonchalantly handling cashier duties, processing memberships, and chatting casually with customers. Seeing Qian Luomei's demeanor, Xiang Fei couldn't help but wonder if last night's events were just a dream, but thankfully, he was relieved to be awake, as his mind was filled with only boundless annoyance.

Xiang Fei spent the entire morning cleaning. He had wiped the internet cafe waiting area three times and mopped the restrooms four times. He consciously avoided Qian Luomei, but couldn't help stealing glances to check on her; thankfully, everything seemed normal. However, Xiang Fei was the most abnormal person in the entire internet cafe. Although he tried his best to appear normal in front of others, the more he tried, the more fake he seemed!

"Sister Luomei, what's wrong with Xiang Fei? He seems strange today." Xiangzi was the first to voice his question.

"I don't know, maybe he was drinking yesterday! Or maybe something happened at home? I'll ask him later. Don't worry, go get to work!"

After Xiangzi left, Qian Luomei sighed softly, frowning as she pondered something.

"Xiang Fei! Xiang Fei!"

Upon hearing the voice, Xiang Fei's eyes widened, and he suddenly shuddered. He didn't want to respond, but then he felt something was amiss, so he mustered his courage and went outside.

"Luomei... Sister, you called me!"

"Oh, I heard from Dong Lu and the others that you can cook, right?"

"It might be... a little bit, just some simple stir-fries, nothing fancy!"

"Is it edible?"

"Yes... I can eat it!"

"As long as it's edible, it's fine. It's almost noon, come up and help me cook! Otherwise, you won't be able to swallow the food I make!"

"Alright then!" Xiang Fei knew it wouldn't be that simple, but he steeled himself, thinking it was better to resolve things sooner rather than later, to save himself from inner torment. Like a prisoner being subjected to the torture of slow slicing, he couldn't wait for the executioner to deliver the fatal blow.

Qian Luomei called Xiangzi to the front desk and took Xiang Fei to the rooftop. Along the way, she asked Xiang Fei about his family situation and whether he needed any help, just like an older sister.

Upon reaching the rooftop, Qian Luomei remained silent, leading Xiang Fei directly into the attic. She sat on the sofa, her gaze fixed intently on Xiang Fei's eyes. Xiang Fei, feeling guilty, lowered his head. Qian Luomei finally sighed helplessly and pointed to the soft stool beside the coffee table.

"Please sit down!"

Xiang Fei was hesitant to sit down at first, but after being urged by Qian Luomei several times, he slowly sat down on the soft stool.

"first?"

Xiang Fei nodded.

"Why didn't you reject me yesterday? Why didn't you reject me? Ah! Why?"

Xiang Fei remained silent, unsure how to answer, for he couldn't recall the events of that time either. Recounting those vague, lingering memories felt inappropriate. Under Qian Luomei's relentless questioning, Xiang Fei, at a loss for words, burst into tears, his shoulders even trembling slightly!

Qian Luomei is a tough woman. She can't carry a gas cylinder up six flights of stairs, nor would she go half a month without showering or pick her feet in public. Her reputation as a tough woman mainly comes from her innate instinct to protect the weak. At this moment, seeing the young man crying with grievance, her heart softened.

"Are you too ashamed to talk about what happened yesterday, or have you forgotten about it?" Qian Luomei asked as gently as possible.

"Sister Luomei, I really forgot! When Xiangzi and I helped you into the internet cafe, I almost fell, and Xiangzi caught me! I don't remember anything after that! I was wrong, Sister Luomei, tell me how you want to punish me! I'll accept anything, or you can chop off one of my fingers!"

Influenced by martial arts novels, Xiang Fei, caught up in the conversation, suddenly realized it was a simple and easy-to-implement idea. He then stood up, went into the kitchen, grabbed a cleaver and a cutting board, and came out.

No matter how many scenes Qian Luomei had witnessed, she had never seen such a naive young man before, and she was truly startled. Looking at Xiang Fei holding a kitchen knife, she didn't know what to do for a moment!

"Sister Luomei, no matter what the reason was yesterday, I was the one who bullied you. If you're wrong, you have to admit your mistake. I'll cut off one of my fingers right now to apologize!" As he spoke, the simple-minded boy actually put his ring finger up on the cutting board and was about to cut it with a kitchen knife.

"Wait!" Qian Luomei didn't say anything more, so Xiang Fei really cut off his finger and panicked!

Xiang Fei looked up at Qian Luomei, and didn't cut with the cleaver for the time being.

"If anyone's going to cut it, it'll be me. What's the point of you doing it yourself?" Qian Luomei calmed herself down, tossed her long hair behind her, and said.

Xiang Fei thought about it and agreed. He put away the cleaver, held the handle, and presented the blade to Qian Luomei. Qian Luomei frowned, carefully grasped the back of the blade, took the knife from Xiang Fei, and immediately threw it on the ground. She then turned and began punching and kicking Xiang Fei. Xiang Fei remained motionless, silently enduring the blows. After a few times, Qian Luomei felt she had enough and stopped, beginning to scold him.

"What's wrong with you, kid? Why are you always grabbing a knife and cutting your own finger? Putting aside whether it's right or wrong to your parents, how am I supposed to explain that you left me with a missing finger? Did you cut yourself while chopping vegetables? Besides, how many inconveniences will you face in your life if you lose a finger? What will others think of you?"

Xiang Fei acted impulsively without considering the bigger picture. Now, after Qian Luomei's words, he realized his mistake. However, unsure how to respond, he remained silent.

Qian Luomei had already hit and scolded him, and after calming herself down, she sat back down on the sofa. She pointed to the soft stool at Xiang Fei, and Xiang Fei obediently sat down on it.

"When I woke up this morning, I knew something was wrong, but I honestly didn't know who did it. I've had amnesia since the KTV incident. I guess I deserve to be this drunk. Seeing you acting suspiciously today, I knew something was off. Xiang Fei, remember this: you can't do anything that goes against your conscience, and try your best not to do anything that goes against your nature or your conscience. Not only do you show it on your face, but you're also torturing yourself internally!"

Xiang Fei listened intently to every word, memorizing them deeply. From last night until now, he felt like he was being dragged on a grill, roasted over and over by flames, yet powerless to do anything, his outstretched hands finding no footing. He could only endure the relentless, agonizing torment of being tossed and turned, a torment worse than death!

"We both have amnesia, so if we can't remember, let's pretend it never happened. You got scolded and beaten, so don't blame yourself. Let's just let it go! But whatever you do, don't tell anyone, or I'll have to drag you off the building with me! Luckily, you left yesterday, otherwise I wouldn't be able to explain myself today!"

"Okay, Sister Luomei, I definitely won't tell. Anyone who does will die a horrible death!"

"You don't need to make such a solemn oath. If someone wants to break their promise, no oath can stop them!"

"Yes, Sister Luomei, I definitely won't tell anyone."

Xiang Fei wiped away the tears that had cooled from the corners of his eyes, finally regaining his usual composure! He wanted to express his gratitude, but couldn't find the right words, so he simply took two steps back and bowed to Qian Luomei!

"What are you doing? I'm still alive! It's not like we're saying goodbye to a body at a funeral home, hurry up!" Qian Luomei reached out and helped Xiang Fei up, her humorous words making Xiang Fei laugh through his tears!

"Sister Luo Mei, if there's nothing else, I'll head down now." Xiang Fei's heart, which had been hanging in suspense, finally settled down. It felt so good to be at ease!

"Where are you going? Didn't you come up here to help me cook? You're trying to run away before the food's even started! Hurry up and take the knife and cutting board back to the kitchen. I'm going to get the ingredients from the fridge. It's time to cook!"

……