Han Ji

In mid-June, Yuan Shao launched a general offensive.

He ordered Shen Pei to oversee the construction of three hundred siege ladders, one hundred battering rams, and fifty catapults. The craftsmen worked day and night, even dismantling houses when timber ran short. The siege ladders were very tall, even higher than the walls of Yijing, and soldiers pushed them forward. The battering rams were huge, carried by dozens of men, and used to ram the city gates repeatedly. The catapults could hurle stones as tall as a person into the city, collapsing many houses.

Several breaches were breached in the walls of Yijing. The defenders used their bodies to plug the gaps; some were crushed to death, others were crushed to death. When the arrows ran out, they used stones. When the stones ran out, they used swords. When the swords became blunt, they used their fists. The defenders were hungry and covered in wounds, but no one retreated.

Gongsun Zan stood on the city wall, covered in blood. His armor was torn, his hair was disheveled, and there was a knife wound on his face, running from his left eyebrow to his right cheek, blood streaming down. He ignored it, wiping his face with his hand, only to have the blood smear all over it.

"Fire!" he shouted.

The guard beside him said, "General, we're out of arrows."

Gongsun Zan said, "Throw stones."

The stones were all thrown. Yuan Shao's men climbed up. The first one to climb up was cut down by Gongsun Zan with a single stroke. The second one climbed up, and was also cut down. The third, the fourth, the fifth, and more and more followed. Gongsun Zan could no longer kill them. His blade chipped, and when he struck a shield, it chipped a gash.

"Retreat! Retreat into the city!"

He led his remaining troops back to his mansion in the city. The mansion had high walls and thick gates, which could hold out for a while. But the gates were made of wood, and they would break after a few rammings.

Yuan Shao's men stormed into the city, burning, killing, and looting in the streets. Flames soared into the sky, thick smoke billowing from Yijing. People fled their homes; some were killed, some robbed, and some burned to death. Cries, shouts, and screams mingled together, and the entire city trembled.

Gongsun Zan sat in the main hall of his mansion, surrounded by only a few dozen personal guards. His wife and children were still in the backyard, not yet seen off. He had originally intended to send them away, but Yuan Shao's encirclement was too tight, and he couldn't get out.

"General, I will protect you and we will leave through the back door," the subordinate said.

Gongsun Zan said, "I will not leave. How could I, Gongsun Zan, the dignified General of the White Horse, possibly flee?"

He picked up a jar of wine from the table, opened it, and poured two bowls. He handed one bowl to his subordinate and kept the other for himself.

"Come, drink this bowl of wine."

The general took the wine and drank it all in one gulp. Gongsun Zan also drank. The wine was spicy; he swallowed it, wincing from the burn.

He stood up and went into the inner room. His wife sat on the edge of the bed, head down, saying nothing. The two children huddled behind her, the younger one crying.

Gongsun Zan walked over, squatted down, and patted his youngest daughter's head.

"Father is leaving."

Tears streamed down the wife's face. "You can't leave. What will we do if you leave?"

Gongsun Zan said, "Live on. Raise the child."

He stood up, walked to the door, paused for a moment, and then went out without turning back.

Gongsun Zan hung the official seal on his waist, gripped his knife in his hand, and walked out of the inner room. The seal was issued to him by the imperial court—the seal of the Governor of Youzhou and the ribbon of the White Horse General. He touched the seal and clenched it tightly.

His personal guards stood in the hall, waiting for him. Their armor was torn, and some were even wounded, but they all stood ramrod straight.

"You guys go. I'm not leaving."

The guards knelt down. "General, we will not leave."

Gongsun Zan said, "Go. This is an order. You are still young, you can still live. Don't die with me."

The guards wouldn't get up. Gongsun Zan drew his sword and pointed it at them. "Go! If you don't leave, I'll kill you all right now!"

The guards stood up and retreated step by step. When they reached the doorway, some wept. Some knelt down, kowtowed three times, and then ran away. One after another, they all ran away.

Gongsun Zan stood alone in the hall. He heard the shouts of battle outside growing ever closer. Yuan Shao's men had already reached the gates of the mansion. The sound of them banging on the door, thud, thud, thud, each strike felt like a blow to his heart.

He walked into the yard and stood under the jujube tree. The tree was still there, its leaves green, and it bore many unripe jujubes. He reached out and picked one, put it in his mouth, and chewed it. The unripe jujube was astringent and didn't taste good. He swallowed it.

He took out a tinderbox from his pocket and blew on it. The flame flickered in the wind, and he shielded it with his left hand while holding the tinderbox in his right.

He went inside and threw the tinder onto the bed. The blankets on the bed were cotton and would catch fire easily. The fire grew larger and larger, spreading from the bed to the floor, from the floor to the walls, and from the walls to the roof. The wood crackled in the fire, and thick smoke filled the entire room.

Gongsun Zan stood in the courtyard, watching the fire blaze. The firelight illuminated his face, making it appear reddish. His face was expressionless, neither smiling nor angry; he simply stood there.

Gongsun Zan stood motionless in the fire. His clothes were on fire, his hair was on fire, and his skin was burning. But he did not move or cry out.

When Yuan Shao's men rushed in, the fire was already beyond saving. They stood outside the courtyard, watching Gongsun Zan trapped inside the flames, but no one dared to go in.

Gongsun Zan saw them and smiled. He raised his sword, the blade flashing white in the firelight.

"I, Gongsun Zan, was born in Youzhou and will die in Youzhou. General Baima, you died a worthy death!"

He stuck the knife into the ground, turned around, and walked into the fire.

The fire engulfed him.

The message reached Chang'an in July.

Qian Zhao's scout rode back at top speed, entering Chang'an and heading straight for the General's mansion. He was covered in mud, his horse had died, and he himself was badly injured, his face covered in blood, and one arm hanging limply, dislocated.

"My lord, General Gongsun... is dead. Yijing has fallen. Yuan Shao burned the city, and Gongsun Zan committed suicide by fire."

Liu Bei was in his study reading the report on land reclamation sent by Jian Yong. His hand paused, and the report slipped from his grasp and fell onto the table.

"He set himself on fire?"

The scout reported, "Yes. When Yuan Shao's men stormed into the city, Gongsun Zan set fire to his residence and burned to death."

Liu Bei didn't speak. He stood up and walked to the window. The peach tree outside was already full of leaves, lush and green. Several sparrows hopped around on the branches, chirping away.

He stood there for a long time.

"Go down. Go and collect your reward."

The scout kowtowed, then turned and left.

Liu Bei stood alone by the window. He recalled the night Gongsun Zan had invited him to drink in Luoyang. Gongsun Zan, drunk, played the zither and sang "Ode to Youzhou." When he sang the lines, "The Han dynasty has lost its way, the brave warriors sing a tragic song," tears streamed down his face. Gongsun Zan said, "Xuande, let me tell you, this world will be in chaos sooner or later. When chaos comes, you'll need a sword in your hand." Liu Bei said, "Brother, you've had too much to drink." Gongsun Zan said, "I haven't. Remember my words."

Liu Bei remembered it. For twenty years, he has remembered it.

He went back and sat down. The report on land reclamation was still spread out on the table. He glanced at it, but didn't bother to read it, so he closed it.

"Senior brother, I can't come. I don't have enough soldiers, I don't have enough food. I have to protect the five states and hundreds of thousands of people. I can't let millions of people be harmed for your sake."

He said something in a low voice.

No one answered.

The next day, Liu Bei set up an incense table at the General's Mansion and offered sacrifices to Gongsun Zan from afar.

An incense table was set up in the courtyard, right under the peach tree. On the table was the memorial tablet of Gongsun Zan, inscribed with "The Tablet of Gongsun Zan, Governor of Youzhou and General of the White Horse of the Han Dynasty." The tablet was written by Jian Yong, the characters neat and orderly. On the table were sacrificial animals, fruits, and wine.

Liu Bei, dressed in a plain white robe, stood before the incense table. Xun Yu, Jia Xu, Jian Yong, and Qian Zhao stood behind him. Kong Rong also arrived, wearing an old official robe, his head bowed.

Liu Bei lit three incense sticks and placed them in the incense burner. The smoke curled and drifted in the morning breeze, blowing it crookedly.

"Senior brother," he spoke, his voice low. "Twenty years ago, you invited me for drinks and said that a true man should achieve great things. I've remembered your words for twenty years."

He paused for a moment. The wind blew, and the cigarettes drifted even faster.

"I haven't forgotten. I dare not forget." His voice was a little hoarse. "You said that if the world is going to be in chaos, you need a knife. I have a knife now. But you don't."

He bent over and bowed three times. The first bow, his head reaching his knees. The second bow, his waist bent like a bow. The third bow, he straightened up, and tears fell from his eyes.

He stood there, his shoulders trembling. He didn't wipe it. The wind blew, and the peach leaves in the yard rustled.

The crowd stood behind them, and no one spoke.

Jian Yong was bent over, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. Qian Zhao kept his head down, his expression unreadable. Kong Rong sighed.

Liu Bei straightened up and wiped away his tears.

"Issue the order. Proclaim it throughout the land. Gongsun Zan has died for his country; he is posthumously awarded the title of Grand Tutor and given the posthumous name of 'Martyr.' Seek His Majesty's approval."

That evening, Liu Bei wrote a letter to Yuan Shao. The letter was very short, only a few lines long.

"Brother Benchu: Gongsun Zan is dead. Are you satisfied? You killed a high-ranking official and showed no respect for the Emperor. Though I am not talented, I will certainly punish him for the sake of the court. Liu Bei."

The letter was sent. Yuan Shao read it, smiled, and threw it away.

"Liu Bei? He dares to come?"

Liu Bei did not come. He was busy with land reclamation, training troops, and stockpiling grain. He knew that a battle with Yuan Shao was inevitable sooner or later. But not now. He wanted to wait until there was enough grain, the troops were well-trained, and the time was right.

The moon outside the window was round and bright. Liu Bei stood by the window, looking at the moon. The moonlight shone on his face, making it appear deathly pale. The image of Gongsun Zan playing the zither and singing in Luoyang after drinking too much still lingered in his mind.

"Senior brother, may you rest in peace. Junior brother will avenge you."

He closed the window.