Han Ji

The autumn of the fifth year of the Xiping era arrived quietly amidst intense studies and secret joy.

The leaves on the leaves of the trees on Mount Goushi are beginning to turn yellow. Some interesting things are also happening at the hermitage.

Gongsun Zan somehow acquired an exceptionally handsome greyhound from Liaoxi, which he treasured like the most precious thing. He spent his days roaming around the monastery with it, attracting the attention of many disciples. The greyhound was extremely intelligent and obedient to Gongsun Zan, but it ignored everyone else. However, it seemed particularly friendly towards Liu Bei, occasionally sniffing the hem of his clothes.

"Hey! Xuande, my dog ​​has a good eye; I knew you were on my side!" Gongsun Zan said smugly.

A few days later, Gongsun Zan heard about a folk remedy from somewhere, saying that soaking certain herbs in wine could increase strength. He dragged Liu Bei to try it secretly, but the two of them vomited and had diarrhea. Lu Zhi discovered this and punished them by making them fetch water from the back mountain for three days.

Liu Deran, on the other hand, was troubled. He seemed to have developed a vague affection for a gentle female official in charge of managing the books in the study. He would often make excuses to go to the library, but he didn't dare to speak to her. When he returned, he would stare blankly at the bamboo slips.

Liu Bei observed this but said nothing. Everyone has their own path to walk and their own challenges to overcome.

During this period, he also attended several gatherings of young men in Luoyang with Gongsun Zan. Due to his status as a disciple of Lu Zhi and his growing reputation, he was gradually accepted into this circle.

Yuan Shao remained polite yet distant, maintaining the demeanor expected of a noble young master. Cao Cao, on the other hand, was much more enthusiastic, often pulling him aside to discuss current affairs and military matters. His words were sharp and insightful, often hitting the nail on the head, making Liu Bei both wary and unable to help but admire him.

At one gathering, everyone composed poems on the theme of "autumn".

Cao Cao was the first to recite: "Wild geese fly north from the border, their wings covering more than ten thousand miles. In winter they eat southern rice, and in spring they fly north again."

It possesses a powerful and vigorous spirit, implying an ambition that refuses to be inferior to others.

Yuan Shao followed with a poem that was ornate and used allusions aptly, winning widespread acclaim.

When it was Liu Bei's turn, he hesitated for a moment, recalling the red stain under his pillow, his mother far away in Zhuojun, and his uncertain future, and slowly recited:

"The pine tree stands tall on the mountain, the wind rustles in the valley. How strong the wind is, how sturdy the pine branches! Even when frost and ice are bitterly cold, it remains upright throughout the year. Does it not suffer from the freezing cold? The pine and cypress have their inherent nature."

After the poem was recited, there was a moment of silence in the room.

Cao Cao clapped his hands and laughed: "Well said, 'How can one not suffer from the freezing cold? The pine and cypress have their inherent nature!' Xuande, you're comparing yourself to the pine and cypress! That's quite a bold statement!"

Yuan Shao nodded slightly, a strange look flashing in his eyes.

Liu Bei's poem further solidified his reputation for talent among the scholars of Luoyang. Even Lu Zhi, upon hearing it, nodded in approval, offering only two words: "Not bad."

Only Liu Bei himself knew that the uprightness and true nature expressed in these verses were not merely an expression of his own circumstances, but also a silent adherence to that hidden emotion.

As autumn turned to winter and the first snow fell, Lu Zhi summoned Liu Bei to his study.

The charcoal crackled, and Lu Zhi's expression was even more somber than the weather outside the window.

He didn't look at Liu Bei, his gaze was fixed on the leaping flames, and after a long silence, he slowly spoke, his voice carrying an unusual weariness.

"Regarding your affair with the young lady of the Xun family," he paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Lord Ciming (Xun Shuang) knows."

Liu Bei's heart sank, and his back tensed instantly. He lowered his head, his throat dry: "Teacher..."

Lu Zhi raised his hand to stop him: "No need to panic. Lord Ciming is not a pedantic person." He turned his head, his gaze sharp as he looked at Liu Bei, "He asked me to pass on a message to you."

Liu Bei held his breath.

"He said," Lu Zhi spoke slowly and deliberately, his voice clear and cold, "that he admires your talent, and also knows that Cai Niang... has someone else in her heart."

Liu Bei's heart pounded like a drum.

"Lord Ciming said that it's natural for young people to admire other young women," Lu Zhi said calmly, yet every word struck Liu Bei's heart. "He sees that you have lofty ambitions and are not a frivolous person. However..."

Lu Zhi paused for a moment, looking at Liu Bei's eyes, which suddenly lit up but were forcibly suppressed.

"The Xun family's reputation is not just for show. He'll give you a definite answer," Lu Zhi said in a low voice, making sure only the two of them could hear, "if you can earn a salary of 300 shi (a unit of grain) before you turn twenty through your own abilities, he might... give it a second thought."

A salary of 300 shi (a unit of grain)!

This means that he needs to obtain a real official position before the age of twenty, such as county magistrate, county assistant, or an important subordinate in the prefecture! For a member of a collateral branch of the imperial family with no foundation, this is undoubtedly an extremely high threshold!

Liu Bei felt a surge of hot blood rush to his head, which he then suppressed with all his might, his fingernails digging deep into his palms, bringing a sharp pain.

He's just turned twenty; he's sixteen now. All told, it's been less than four years.

"Student..." His voice was hoarse, yet carried an undeniable firmness, "...understood."

Lu Zhi gave him a deep look, and seeing the flame in his eyes that had not been extinguished by reality, he nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Good, I understand." He looked back at the charcoal fire.

Stepping out of the study, the cold wind felt like knives cutting into his face. But Liu Bei felt no cold; instead, his chest felt like it was on fire.

There is hope. Though it may seem slim, though it may be difficult, at least there is a path we can strive for. This path requires more than just poetic fame and mentorship; it requires tangible achievements and opportunities.

He raised his head, looked at the gray sky, and took a deep breath of the cold air.

Four years. He only had four years.

He hurried back to the dormitory, closed the door, leaned against it, and gasped for breath. The pressure felt tangible, weighing heavily on his shoulders, but it also completely ignited the indomitable spirit within him.

He needs to grow faster and accumulate capital that can be converted into an official position more quickly.

In the days that followed, Liu Bei seemed like a different person. He remained calm, but beneath that calm, it was as if magma was surging. He seized every opportunity to consult Lu Zhi on practical matters of government, especially those related to county governance, criminal law, and finance that might be relevant to his future post. He even began to more proactively reach out to those in Lu Zhi's network who held substantive positions in local areas and could potentially offer assistance.

Lu Zhi observed this and became even more attentive in his guidance, beginning to analyze the powers and responsibilities, promotion paths, and the pros and cons of different official positions.

The letters with Xun Cai became his only solace in his tense life. The letters were no longer just about discussing current affairs and classics; occasionally, a few words of subtle concern would be inserted. He would write, "The spring chill is still in the air; please take care and wear warm clothes," and she would reply, "The summer heat is gradually rising; you need to rest after your hard study." The words were simple, yet they had a unique charm.

Gongsun Zan was still the same as ever, complaining that his secluded dwelling was suffocating, and frequently dragging Liu Bei to his courtyard for drinks and meat. Once, half-drunk, he put his arm around Liu Bei's neck and slurred, "Xuande, I've noticed something's off with you lately, like you're holding back some energy. Tell me, have you taken a fancy to some young lady? I'll snatch her for you!"

Liu Bei coughed as he was being strangled, and said with a wry smile, "Brother Bo Gui is joking." But in his heart he thought, if it could really be solved by "robbing," it would be much simpler.

Looking at the almost burning light in his cousin's eyes, Liu Deran felt both envy and worry.

The days flew by amidst the busyness, anticipation, and pressure. In late summer and early autumn, the cicadas on Mount Goushi cried out with all their might, as if making a final struggle.