If you were made a mascot, you would become a legend in the police force.

Although Lin Wan thought this was outrageous—outrageous to the extreme—she couldn't resist Li Tuantuan's persistent pleading.

A panda keeping a pet? That's a huge paradox in itself.

You yourself are a pet (albeit a national treasure with official status), why would you want to keep another pet?

This isn't just a nesting doll; it's practically rubbing the entire food chain into the ground.

But Li Tuantuan's determination was even stronger than when he snatched the basin of milk.

"Alright, alright, I'll take you." Lin Wan said helplessly, giving his ear a quick rub. "But we need to disguise ourselves. You're a top internet celebrity now. If you just swagger into the flower and bird market, the road will probably be blocked by onlookers before you even get inside. Are you going to buy a bird or get made a fool of?"

So, half an hour later.

An inconspicuous black minivan was parked in front of the city's largest flower and bird market.

The car door opened, and out stepped a bizarre combination that would leave passersby questioning their existence.

Lin Wan was dressed in casual clothes, jeans and a white T-shirt, looking like a bright and beautiful college student, exuding a pure naivety (scratch that, youth).

Beside her was a... enormous "fat version of the Man in Black," who looked like he had just escaped from the set of The Matrix.

Li Tuantuan wore an oversized fisherman's hat, a pair of specially made sunglasses, and an XXXXXL-sized black trench coat.

It was supposedly "borrowed" from Old Wang, a two-meter-tall strongman in the SWAT team. Even so, the buttons couldn't be fastened at all, leaving it open and revealing its white belly.

This outfit is, to humans, simply an attempt to cover up the truth.

That round belly, that signature pigeon-toed gait, and that swaying bottom with every step—except for the obvious dark circles under its eyes, every single hair on it seemed to be shouting: I'm a panda! Let's see who dares to catch me!

"Stay close to me, don't run around, and don't steal other people's bird food!" Lin Wan warned in a low voice, like an old mother taking her unruly child out.

Li Tuantuan pushed up his sunglasses and nodded coolly. If you ignored the drool dripping from the corner of his mouth, he would have looked quite like a big boss.

The flower and bird market was bustling with activity.

The sounds of various birds and insects mingled together, and the air was filled with a peculiar smell of poor-quality feed, damp sawdust, and old bird droppings.

Li Tuantuan covered her nose in disgust, but soon, her eyes, hidden behind sunglasses, began to shine.

This place is practically his "Produce 101" audition site!

Passing by a parrot shop, a green budgie nodded frantically at him, seemingly saying, "Hello! Hello! Wishing you prosperity!"

Upon activating [Beast Language Mastery], Li Tuantuan heard the bird's inner voice say, "Where did this fatso come from? Blocking my sunbathing! Get lost!"

Li Tuantuan's lips twitched. This bird is no good, it's malicious and too opportunistic, pass.

I passed by a shop selling thrushes, and the birds' calls were so melodious and beautiful, like singing.

But upon hearing this, Li Tuantuan exclaimed, "I'm starving! I'm starving! Where are the bugs? I want to eat bread bugs! I want the kind that burst with juice!"

Someone whose mind is only focused on food is a match for my personality traits, so pass. Should I bring back a glutton to steal my food? Absolutely not!

The two walked around for most of the time, and Li Tuantuan never stopped.

Lin Wan's legs were aching from walking, and she couldn't help but complain, "Hey, what kind of person are you looking for? Are you choosing a concubine? Or finding a successor?"

Just then, Li Tuantuan suddenly stopped.

As if sensing something, he suddenly turned his head.

In a secluded corner, there was an inconspicuous street stall.

The stall owners were two middle-aged men who looked like hooligans, and they were spitting as they tried to sell something to a few elderly men who were watching.

"Grandpa, look at this quality! This is a genuine Western Region Black Phoenix Myna! It's a divine species captured from the snow-capped mountains! And listen to its voice—it can recite three hundred Tang poems!"

Li Tuantuan went over to her.

Inside a dilapidated bamboo cage, there was a black bird.

The bird looked rather pathetic; its feathers were dull and even somewhat disheveled, as if it had just rolled in a coal pile and been struck by lightning. It huddled in a corner of the cage, its head drooping, looking utterly indifferent.

"How much?" an old man asked, tempted.

"Since you know your stuff, I'll give you the cost price, two thousand!" The stall owner held up two fingers, his face beaming.

Two thousand? That's robbery!

"Grandpa, this is a spirit bird! It's become intelligent! It will keep you entertained and might even take care of you in your old age... oops, in your old age!"

Li Tuantuan narrowed her eyes behind her sunglasses.

[Mastery of Beast Language], now unlocked!

In an instant, a faint but extremely clear, world-weary thought entered his mind.

"A bunch of idiots. I'm a crow, not a myna. And you call yourself a black phoenix from the Western Regions? I think you're the biggest idiot from the Western Regions."

"Don't buy it, old man. Those two just added stimulants to the water. I'm only faking it now; my internal organs are burning up. Buy it? I'll be dead in three days, and then you'll have to throw me a feast."

"Alas, life is hopeless for birds. Let it end, I'm tired, let's just have a quick and painless end."

Li Tuantuan was stunned.

This bird... it's something else!

Not only did they see through the scam at a glance, but the logic and coherence in their thoughts, the sharpness of their criticism, and the "depressed" culture of seeing through the world's illusions were exactly like their own!

This is the legendary "soulmate"!

He carefully examined the "black phoenix".

Although it looks shabby, like a "Syrian war-damaged version," the light shining through its occasionally open little eyes is extremely sharp, unlike those silly parrots that can only repeat themselves.

The system notification sounded at just the right moment, tinged with excitement:

[Ding! Highly intelligent biological individual detected!]

[Target: Wild Crow (Juvenile Stage, Mutant)]

[Intelligence Potential: S-Rank (Extremely Rare! A one-in-a-million master of witty banter!)]

[Characteristics: Strong logical thinking, exceptional memory, extremely high talent for language imitation, and a very cunning and ruthless personality.]

That's it!

This S-level potential, this self-inflicted taunt buff—this is the chosen "mouth substitute"!

Li Tuantuan stretched out her thick bear paw, pointed to the cage, and let out a deep and firm "hmm" from her throat.

Lin Wan glanced at it, her brows furrowing deeply: "This one? Isn't this just a bald bird? It looks like it's about to die. Even if I buy it to make soup, the meat will be too tough."

As soon as the stall owner saw a customer, although he thought the fat man in sunglasses was a bit odd (who normally wears a trench coat to a bird market?), he immediately put on a professional fake smile: "Oh, this boss has good taste! This is our stall's prized possession..."

Li Tuantuan completely ignored him.

He walked straight up and brought the huge bear face close to the edge of the cage, almost touching the bamboo strips.

The crow in the cage, who had been waiting to die with its eyes closed, suddenly felt an immense sense of oppression from the top of the food chain enveloping its entire body.

Is it getting dark?

It suddenly opened its eyes and saw a large face wearing sunglasses that filled its entire field of vision.

Although its eyes were not clearly visible, the aura unique to wild beasts made the few remaining hairs on its body stand on end.

The crow's inner voice instantly changed, filled with terror:

"Holy crap! What kind of monster is that? A bear? A bear this big? Oh no, I'm doomed! I just escaped one trap only to fall into another. Is this bear thinking I'm too skinny and planning to use me as an appetizer?"

Li Tuantuan grinned, revealing what she considered a benevolent smile (which could actually stop a child from crying at night).

He silently said to himself:

"Little one, how about a different lifestyle? Something with room and board included, a permanent position, and all the social insurance and housing fund benefits?"

Of course, at this point, a mental connection had not yet been established, so the crow could not hear it.

But to outsiders, it looked like a weird fat man in a trench coat was making eerie "hehehe" laughs at the birds in the cage, making the scene quite terrifying.