If you were made a mascot, you would become a legend in the police force.

In the city bureau compound, the scorching sun beat down on the asphalt road.

Li Tuantuan felt he was almost fully acquainted. Not in an adjective sense, but in a physical sense. He was wearing a specially made red sash that read "Anti-Fraud Ambassador," a small red flag was stuffed into his hand, and two female police officers from the publicity department stood beside him, their faces practically stiff with smiles.

"Come on, roll, look at the camera! Smile! Hold the flag higher!"

The cameraman was a young man wearing a baseball cap, sweating profusely as he directed the operation.

Li Tuantuan cursed inwardly. Laugh? Laugh at your big head! I'm a panda, not a laughingstock! We've been filming for two hours already, and now I have to cooperate on things like "crossing the street at a zebra crossing" and "don't trust unknown phone calls." I'm an animal! Who would call a panda for scams? Are they trying to trick me into buying bamboo insurance?

He threw the little red flag on the ground, plopped down on the edge of the flower bed, and started to slack off.

"Oh dear, Gun Gun is tired." Xiao Liu from the publicity department quickly brought over a small fan and blew it vigorously on Li Tuan Tuan's big face. "Hang in there a little longer, there are only two more shots left. After that, we can go eat chilled watermelon."

Upon hearing the word "watermelon," Li Tuantuan's previously droopy dark circles lifted slightly.

But then he thought again, something's not right. He said the same thing yesterday, but after filming, all he got were two pieces of watermelon rind; the flesh had been half-eaten by that woman, Lin Wan.

I can't live like this at the Municipal Bureau anymore.

For the first couple of days, everything was new and exciting; everyone treated him like royalty. Police officers lined up to feed him, and the chief of police would come over every morning to pat his head. But less than a week later, once the novelty wore off, these people started exploiting child labor.

Especially the head of the publicity department, who looks like an honest person, but is actually very malicious. He said things like, "Gun Gun's popularity is even greater than that of top celebrities, so why not take advantage of him?" He wanted to print his image on every single flyer.

This afternoon there's supposedly some kind of "City Bureau Open Day," and several hundred citizens are expected to attend, including even some kindergarten children.

The thought of being touched by hundreds of hands and hearing little kids scream "Wow, giant panda!" made Li Tuantuan feel hopeless about her panda life.

No, we need to think of a solution.

Li Tuantuan's eyes darted around. His current identity was that of an "unofficial special police officer," a panda with a formal position. Since he was a public official, wouldn't it be reasonable for him to be injured in the line of duty?

The cameraman had just changed the batteries when he shouted, "Okay, one last shot. Rolly, stand up and make a gesture of 'rejecting drugs'!"

Li Tuantuan slowly stood up, took only two steps, and suddenly—without warning—

"Eek!!!"

A piercing scream echoed throughout the entire municipal police station compound.

The 300-pound bear seemed to have been hit by an invisible sniper. Its left hind leg suddenly buckled, and its entire body collapsed with a thud. It rolled twice on the ground, finally clutching its left leg and rolling around on the ground.

"Waaaaah! Waaaaah!" (It's broken! My leg is broken! It's a workplace injury! I need to take leave!)

The scene instantly descended into chaos.

"Holy crap! What happened to Gun Gun?"

"Is it heatstroke?"

"Wait a minute, it looks like it sprained its ankle!"

"Quickly! Call Captain Lin! Call the veterinarian!"

Xiao Liu from the publicity department turned pale with fright. This was a national treasure! If something happened to her, even selling her wouldn't be enough to compensate for it.

Less than three minutes later, Lin Wan rushed out of the criminal investigation building in a hurry, still holding a case file she hadn't finished reading.

"What happened? She was fine just now." Lin Wan frowned deeply as she looked at Li Tuantuan, who was rolling on the ground and groaning in pain.

When Li Tuantuan saw someone approaching, he screamed even more pitifully. He even squeezed out two crocodile tears, stretched out his "injured" left leg straight, and convulsed all over as if he were enduring the Ten Great Tortures of the Qing Dynasty whenever someone touched it.

Director Chen rushed over, his hat askew: "Quick! Get Old Zhang over here! He's the best veterinary expert in the province, and he happens to be at the bureau today giving the police dogs checkups!"

A short while later, an old man in a white coat carrying a large medicine box ran over.

Old Zhang pushed up his glasses and squatted down next to Li Tuantuan with a serious expression: "Don't move, let me take a look."

Li Tuantuan sneered inwardly: "See? See? I'm in pain anyway. What can you possibly find out? I have a system protecting me. Pretending to be sick is easy enough."

Old Zhang touched Li Tuantuan's bones and then pinched her flesh. Li Tuantuan screamed in unison, her voice so pitiful that it brought tears to the eyes of several female police officers watching.

"Strange..." Old Zhang muttered, "The bones aren't broken, and the joints seem normal. Could it be nerve damage?"

Director Chen panicked: "What should we do? How serious is it? Will we still be able to attend the open day this afternoon?"

Old Zhang pondered for a moment, opened the medicine box, and took out a syringe.

The syringe was as thick as a child's arm, and the needle gleamed with a cold, menacing light that sent chills down one's spine.

"Whatever the reason, give me a nerve block injection first, then a strong anti-inflammatory injection. This injection will hurt a bit, so you guys hold it down and don't let it move around," Old Zhang said while flicking the syringe.

Li Tuantuan's body, which had been pretending to twitch, instantly stiffened.

He stared wide-eyed at the enormous needle.

If this thing goes in, will my butt even be usable anymore?

Old Zhang, holding the needle, approached step by step.

A miracle occurred when the needle was just 0.01 centimeters away from Li Tuantuan's buttocks.

The giant panda, which was originally "paralyzed," suddenly did a somersault—no, a somersault—and sprang up from the ground. Its movements were as agile and its movements as nimble as those of the leader of the Wudang School.

Li Tuantuan leaped out of the encirclement with a backflip, grabbed a large apple from Xiao Liu's table next to her, took a bite out of half of it, and then casually leaned against the tree trunk, crossed her legs, and gave him a "what are you doing?" look.

Everyone present fell silent.

Old Zhang's hand, holding the syringe, froze in mid-air. He awkwardly pushed up his glasses: "This...it seems it healed on its own?"

Lin Wan crossed her arms and gave a cold laugh.

She knows this guy too well.

"Well done, Li Tuantuan, your acting skills have improved." Lin Wan walked to the tree and looked down at him. "To avoid the group photo this afternoon, you've even learned to stage an accident?"

Li Tuantuan turned her head to the side, chewing on an apple, pretending not to understand human speech.

(I don't understand. I'm a panda. I just had a leg cramp.)

Lin Wan sighed, took out a printed schedule from her pocket, and waved it in front of him.

"The director originally said that as long as you complete this week's publicity tasks, he would approve a special supply of Australian M9 tomahawk steaks for you next week, two pieces a day. In addition, he would give you two 'public holidays' every week, so you don't have to do business and can just stay in your dormitory, enjoy the air conditioning, and play games."

Li Tuantuan stopped chewing the apple.

M9 Tomahawk Steak?

Public holidays?

Lin Wan continued, "Since your leg is broken, you definitely can't eat greasy food, you can only drink plain porridge. And you'll have to rest in a cage for three months..."

Before she could finish speaking, Li Tuantuan snatched the schedule from Lin Wan's hand, patted her chest with her paw, and pointed to the camera not far away.

The meaning was clear: Take a picture! Take a picture now! Help me up, I can still serve the people for another five hundred years!

Director Chen, standing to the side, was stunned: "This...it's done already?"

Lin Wan shook her head helplessly: "Alright, Director. This guy's just been lazy; he needs to be cured."

Looking at Li Tuantuan, who was being pulled back to work, Lin Wan's lips curled into a barely perceptible smile.

Although this panda can be really annoying at times, it has to be said that with him around, this lifeless police station has definitely become much more lively.

However, while waving the little red flag, Li Tuantuan was secretly thinking:

This can't go on.

Although the steak is tempting, when will this life of selling one's body end?

Moreover, the biggest problem is the communication barrier.

If I could have spoken earlier, I would have already negotiated terms with the bureau chief. Why would I have needed to put on this self-inflicted injury act?

He needs an assistant.

A helper who can understand him and help him communicate with humans.

Ideally, he should be a chatterbox.