How did hiring someone to press a pig image during Chinese New Year become a top trend?

"vomit--"

A muffled retching sound broke the morning's tranquility.

The speaker was none other than Xu Qiang, the general manager of Huixian Construction, who had boasted last night that he would arm the canteen with thermally broken aluminum alloy.

At this moment, he was standing in front of his fifth aunt's stove, staring at the large iron pot with a diameter of one meter, his face even darker than his genuine leather jacket.

"Anzi..."

Xu Qiang took a half step back, his hand instinctively reaching for the car keys at his waist, as if he were ready to run away at any moment.

"What's wrong with your fifth aunt...?"

"What grudge do you have against us men?"

"Is this batch... C50 grade asphalt? Or waterproof coating?"

Xu An held up his phone, the camera zoomed in on the pot, and the 100,000 netizens who had just flooded into the live stream were instantly stunned by the scene before them.

Inside the large pot, a mysterious, dark gray, viscous liquid was bubbling and churning.

Every now and then, black particles would surge up, looking like freshly mixed cement slurry or some indescribable witch's potion.

[ID Civil Engineering Bro]: Holy crap! This slump! This viscosity! I'm a professional, is this for paving roads?

[ID Breaking Bad]: Is Aunt Wu making pills? This color looks extremely poisonous!

[ID wants to call the police]: Run, streamer! I suspect my aunt is trying to murder her nephew!

Xu An looked at the comments and swallowed hard.

He actually knew what it was, but faced with such visual impact, any explanation seemed pale and powerless.

"Um... family members."

"Don't panic."

"My fifth aunt said this is for us to nourish our bodies."

"Call……"

"Five grains in a cycle... no, five grains in a bountiful harvest with noodles and tea."

As they were talking.

Fifth Aunt, wearing her signature bright red scarf and carrying a rolling pin, burst out of the house like a witch wielding a wand.

"What are you looking at!"

"What are you looking at!"

"Hurry up and get the bowl!"

"I spent two hours working on this!"

"Black beans, black rice, black sesame seeds!"

"There are also crushed peanuts and walnuts!"

"It's specially made for you men to nourish your kidneys... and replenish your qi!"

Aunt Wu's loud shout made Xu Qiang, who was originally trying to run away, tremble and freeze in place.

Back in the day, Aunt Wu was a privately-run teacher at Xujia Village Elementary School, and Xu Qiang often got a beating from her when he was a child.

That kind of bloodline suppression from childhood still works even though he's now worth millions.

"His fifth aunt..."

Xu Qiang forced out a smile that looked more like a grimace.

"I'm not hungry."

"real."

"I have bread in my car..."

"Snapped!"

Aunt Wu slammed the rolling pin on the cutting board, making the "cement slurry" in the pot tremble three times.

"bread?"

"Can that foreign stuff really fill you up?"

"Xu Qiang, let me tell you!"

"Don't think that just because you're a boss outside, you can complain about the food at home!"

"When you were little, you wet the bed, and I was the one who washed your pants!"

"You've gotten quite capable now?"

"You've grown wings?"

"Believe it or not, I'll write you a rap and broadcast your sordid affair to the entire internet?"

Xu Qiang's expression froze instantly. From domineering CEO to cowardly nephew, all it takes is one fifth aunt.

"eat!"

"I'll eat it!"

"The food my fifth aunt cooks is like nectar!"

"Anzi! Get the bowl!"

"Give me the biggest one!"

Xu Qiang practically shouted it out through gritted teeth.

The sense of tragedy was so overwhelming that someone who didn't know better would have thought he was about to die a heroic death.

Three minutes later, a row of men squatted on a row of red bricks next to the construction site, each holding a large bowl.

Xu Qiang squatted in the middle, holding a bowl of dark, sticky "noodle tea" in his hands.

His eyes were vacant, as if he were contemplating life.

[ID Laughing Unable to Live]: Second Uncle: I was terrified at the time.

[The "ID is Really Delicious Law"]: Waiting to be proven wrong! Henan's noodle porridge looks ugly, but it tastes really good!

[ID Seeking Second Uncle's Psychological Trauma]: A general manager worth tens of millions is forced to drink cement, I love this plot!

Xu An squatted down next to his second uncle and first demonstrated by taking a slurp.

"hiss--"

It has a smooth and creamy texture, a savory and delicious flavor, and the aroma of roasted sesame seeds mixed with the crunch of peanuts explodes on the tongue.

The warm liquid slid down my esophagus into my stomach; on this morning of minus five degrees Celsius, it was nothing short of a salvation for my soul.

"Second Uncle, have a taste."

"Not bad at all."

"It smells better than your C35 concrete."

Xu Qiang glanced suspiciously at his nephew, then at his fifth aunt who was watching them intently from afar.

My heart skipped a beat.

Close your eyes.

He tilted his head back and took a big gulp.

"Glug."

The entire room fell silent; even the chat in the live stream paused for a moment.

Xu Qiang's Adam's apple bobbed, and then his small eyes, which had been resigned to their fate, suddenly lit up, like two light bulbs instantly electrified.

"Holy crap?"

"This taste..."

"oops!"

Ignoring the heat, Xu Qiang took another big bite, his mouth covered in a ring of black paste, making him look like he had grown a full beard.

"fragrant!"

"It smells fucking good!"

"Did they put lard in this?"

"And these peanuts, have they been roasted?"

"Fifth Aunt! Another bowl, please!"

"Make sure it's full!"

The "chaste and virtuous man" who was so determined to die rather than submit has disappeared.

Instead, there was a glutton who had no bottom line when it came to satisfying his appetite.

The live stream audience was absolutely in stitches.

[ID Second Uncle's Face Change]: You've already betrayed us? Second Uncle, what happened to your principles?

[ID Infrastructure Maniac]: Confirmed! This is C50 special mortar! It hardens if you eat it!

【ID I also want to drink】: It looks like cement and sounds like pig swill, but why am I drooling?

After breakfast.

The atmosphere on the construction site was noticeably more lively.

Xu Qiang wiped his mouth, took off his leather jacket, revealing an old sweater underneath.

That was what he wore when he was a lowly worker; the cuffs were worn and frayed, but he didn't care.

"Dean Li!"

"Have you finished verifying the window dimensions?"

"Hurry up!"

"We must put the frame on today!"

"And that rock wool board!"

"Who the hell told you to stick it like that?"

"Make sure it's sealed tightly! If it lets in any air, I'll dock your pay!"

Xu Qiang got into work mode.

That suffocating sense of oppression is back.

He climbed up and down the scaffolding, his shouts louder than a mixer.

This time, however, none of the workers found him annoying; instead, they were all full of energy.

Because they know that this boss is truly knowledgeable and genuinely treats this as his own business.

Standing below, watching this bustling scene, Xu An finally felt a weight lifted from his heart.

With his second uncle and Dean Li in charge of the cafeteria, he didn't need to worry about anything.

All he needs to do is be the "logistics minister" and the "mascot".

"that……"

"Family members."

"It seems that Second Uncle has passed Fifth Aunt's test."

"Let's not cause any more trouble here."

"Take advantage of the good sunshine now."

"I'll take you for a walk around the village."

Xu An moved the camera away from the construction site and focused it on the winding bluestone road in the village.

"I want to get a haircut."

"I cried so much yesterday."

"My hair is all tangled."

"Perfect."

"Let me show you."

"From our Xu Family Village..."

"The Magician".

[ID Tony the Hairdresser]: A village barbershop? Is it one of those that only has clippers and combs?

[ID Haircut]: Streamer, be careful! In the village, the service is usually "whatever you see"!

[ID Expectation]: Magician? That name sounds like a trap!

Xu An smiled but didn't explain.

He pushed his dilapidated bicycle, which rattled everywhere except for the bell, and walked along the alley toward the east end of the village.

Every time I passed by someone's house, the dog would bark twice.

Xu An was no longer afraid, and even dared to bare his teeth at the dog.

That's the source of my confidence; it took about ten minutes to walk.

Xu An stopped in front of a somewhat dilapidated mud-brick house.

There were no rotating colored lights at the entrance, nor the red, white, and blue rotating cylinder; there was only a wooden pole.

There was a mirror hanging above, and a white towel that swayed in the wind.

It looked a bit like a white flag of surrender. An old man wearing a Zhongshan suit and reading glasses was sitting on a small stool at the door.

He was holding a... large pair of sheep-shearing shears?

Facing the sunlight, it was cutting away at the air with a "snip, snip" sound.

The scissors were almost half an arm's length long, their blades gleaming coldly. Every "snip" sounded like it could sever the throat of fate.

"Third Master."

Xu An called out, feeling a tightness in his scalp.

The old man slowly turned his head, squinted through his thick glasses, and scrutinized Xu An for a long time.

Then he grinned, revealing his two remaining front teeth.

"Yo."

"Anzi."

"Coming for a haircut?"

"Perfect."

"Freshly sharpened scissors."

"Very fast."

"After I finished trimming the hooves of Old Wang's donkey next door, I was just wondering where to practice my skills."

Xu An: ...

Live stream room: ...

[ID: I've called the police]: Donkey...donkey hoof?

[ID Run Fast]: Streamer! This is going to kill you!

[ID Hardcore Haircut]: Using scissors meant for trimming donkey hooves to cut hair? Is this what punk in Henan is like?

Xu An swallowed hard, looking at the gleaming scissors and then at his own messy hair.

"that……"

"Third Master."

"Could we...?"

"Should we switch to a smaller one?"

"My brain."

"Not as hard as a donkey's hoof."

Third Master chuckled, said nothing, and simply tossed the scissors aside.

With a loud "bang".

The ground trembled from the impact, and then he pulled something wrapped in red cloth from his pocket.

As he peeled back the layers, his movements were as slow as defusing a bomb, and Xu An and the hundreds of thousands of viewers in the live stream all held their breath.

Until the last layer of red cloth was lifted, revealing what was inside, it was a hair clipper, but not an electric one.

It was an old-fashioned, manual, spring-loaded metal clipper, which looked even more vintage than the pair of scissors.

Even the iron handle was wrapped with layers of tape.

A few words can still be vaguely seen on it—

"Made in Shanghai... 1972".

Use this.

Third Master blew off the dust, a hint of pride in his eyes.

"This is an old item from back then."

"It doesn't use electricity."

"It only takes a little hair."

"sometimes……"

"It might trap one or two."

"But it's alright."

"Just bear with it and it will pass."

Xu An looked at the clippers that looked more like a torture device than a hair clipper.

Suddenly, I realized that the bowl of cement my second uncle drank might actually be a delicacy.

"Come on, Anzi."

"sit down."

"Let me show you."

"What does 'starting from scratch' mean?"

Third Master patted the rickety wooden chair in front of him and extended an invitation.

That smile, kind yet tinged with... an indescribable murderous intent.

Xu An took a deep breath, gave the camera a resolute smile, and said, "I'm ready to die."

"Family members."

"If I scream too loudly later."

Please type "protect" in the chat.

"By the way..."

"Call 120 for me."

"Thanks."

ID Protection: Protect!

[ID: The Whole Village Eats]: Don't be afraid, streamer! At worst, you can wear a wig from now on!

[ID LOL]: With this equipment, Third Master looks like he could give the streamer a terracotta warrior hairstyle!