I raised stunning young ladies, but they all wanted to possess me.

If Gu Yan had been a little stronger, Shanglu wouldn't have been lost, Wei Changfeng wouldn't have died, and those 100,000, 200,000, or 300,000 people wouldn't have been lying on the beach.

If he were a little stronger, this old man wouldn't be burning incense for his son by the roadside, this woman wouldn't be singing while holding a baby's clothes, and these two soldiers wouldn't be stubbing out their cigarettes so hard before their patrol.

He remembered what Elena had said.

Your hesitation is paying the price with someone else's life.

He stood under a broken streetlamp, his shadow swallowed by the night.

It was dark all around, with only the lights of the medical area in the distance still on, like a weary star suspended in the darkness.

He reached into his pocket and touched the Qilin badge, then touched the armband of Han Jae-hee.

His fingers were trembling, not from the cold.

The barrier in my heart is cracking little by little.

He thought, if the price of becoming stronger is simply giving up those pointless convictions, then what exactly is he persisting in?

Is it the dignity that was long ago crushed by war, or the clean and pure self that can never be returned to?

He didn't know the answer.

But he knew he couldn't wait any longer.

......

Gu Yan stood in the night for a long time, until the last glimmer of light from the streetlights went out, before he turned and walked toward the medical area.

The night breeze was cool, blowing down from the hillside behind the camp, carrying the smell of withered grass and earth.

He walked slowly, his mind racing, trying to figure out how to start the conversation.

When he pushed open the door to Pei Youyi's hospital room, she was still awake.

The bedside lamp was on, and she was reading a book, an ancient book from the Great Xia Dynasty that he had taken from Elena before he left that afternoon.

She heard the door open, looked up, saw it was him, and smiled slightly.

"Here we go again."

"Why are you standing here as punishment in the middle of the night instead of sleeping?"

Gu Yan sat down on the edge of the bed.

He looked at her; her complexion was better than it had been in the evening, but her lips were still pale.

The moonlight from outside the window mingled with the light from the bedside lamp, falling on her loose hair like a thin layer of silver frost.

He suddenly remembered that many years ago, on the back mountain of the Pei family, she was sitting under the lamp reading a book in the same way. He was peeking at her from the windowsill, and when she discovered him, he ran away in a panic.

"Sister Youyi."

He spoke, his voice a little dry.

"Um."

"Your injury can be healed."

He paused for a moment.

"I've spoken with Elena."

"She said your spiritual core is cracked, and ordinary medicine can't cure it."

"But my Mirror Flower Seal can help you heal through spiritual resonance."

"It's just... the method is a bit unusual."

Pei Youyi's fingers, which were turning the pages of the book, stopped.

She looked up at him, her gaze calm.

She was someone who had weathered many storms, and she immediately understood the hesitation and probing in Gu Yan's words.

"It's the method Elena told you about."

she says.

It's not a question, it's a confirmation.

Gu Yan nodded.

Pei Youyi closed the book and gently placed it on the bedside table.

She was silent for a moment, then sighed softly.

"Xiao Yan, I know you want to save me."

"But this won't do."

You are still young, and you have a long road ahead of you.

"I can't let you do something against your own will just because of my injury."

"And Yu Ran..."

"I don't care."

Gu Yan interrupted her.

His voice wasn't loud, but every word was deep.

"Yu Ran will understand."

"She wants you to get better more than anyone else."

"And this was my own choice."

"No one forced me."

Pei Youyi looked at him, something slowly rising in her eyes.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but Gu Yan didn't give her the chance.

He leaned over, one hand resting on the pillow beside her ear, the other gently cupping the back of her head, and lowered his head to kiss her lips.

She paused for a moment, then began to push him, her hand on his chest, with very little force, as if she were pushing a piece of ice that would break.

"No... Xiao Yan, listen to me..."

Gu Yan did not stop.

His kisses moved from her lips to her chin, and then from her chin to her neck.

His fingers unbuttoned her cardigan, then the frog buttons of her cheongsam.

Her breathing became erratic, and her hand was still pressed against his chest, but she could no longer move him.

He laid her down on the bed and covered her with his body. Her long hair was spread out on the pillow, like a piece of black silk soaked in moonlight.

"Believe me."

His voice was close to her ear, very soft and warm.

"Sister Youyi, please believe me."

Pei Youyi's tears suddenly fell.

It wasn't a wail, but a silent outpouring that flowed down her cheeks and into her hair.

Her body was trembling slightly, like a leaf that had been shaking in the wind for too long.

She looked at him, her eyes filled with struggle, sadness, and a vulnerability that had been hidden for a long, long time but could no longer be concealed.

Am I really useless?

"At a time like this, I still need you... I still need you to do this kind of thing."

Gu Yan wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her fingers.

His movements were very gentle, as if he were polishing a very precious piece of porcelain.

He looked at her, his eyes bright, as if they had burned away all his hesitation.

"It's not that you're useless."

"I am too weak."

"If I were stronger, Shanglu wouldn't have been lost, and you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"So, Sister Youyi, please make me stronger."

"Use your spiritual power, use your trust."

"Once I'm strong enough, the Black Tide will never be able to touch you again."

Pei Youyi looked at him, tears still falling, but the corners of her mouth slowly curved up.

It was a very faint smile, like the first ray of dawn shining through a window.

She raised her hands, wrapped them around his neck, and pulled him down.

"It's settled then."

Her voice was soft and trembling.

"I'll talk to Yu Ran about it."

"I won't put you in a difficult position."

"it is good."

The moon outside the window moved out from behind the clouds, and its silvery light leaked through the window paper, falling on the ground, on the bed, and on the two people who were tightly embracing each other.

The night breeze slipped in through the cracks in the window, turning the pages of the book on the bedside table, one by one, as if counting down the long night for someone.

Her breath mingled with his, her fingers dug into his hair, and his palm pressed against the faded old scar on her back.

That scar was left by her in the South China Sea Secret Realm. She said that at that time she thought she was going to die, and the first person she thought of when she lay in the ruins was him.

She is still alive, lying in his arms, her wounds slowly healing, and her spiritual power slowly returning.

She shed tears several more times, but he wiped them away for her each time.

As dawn approached, Pei Youyi fell asleep.

She nestled in his arms, her breathing steady and long, her face still streaked with tears, but her brows were relaxed.

Gu Yan looked at her, and then very lightly kissed her forehead.

He got up, dressed, tucked her in, and quietly left the ward.