Qin Dynasty: They've all turned into zombies, what's there to fear about a rebellion?

The pale moonlight shone on the cobblestone path in the Imperial Garden.

Gao Jianli stood there, blocking the road like a piece of charred, withered wood, exuding an aura of despair and madness.

Su Ming stopped and bounced the snow maiden he was carrying on his shoulder a little higher, looking at the former "Yan Kingdom Qin Player" with great interest.

At this moment, Gao Jianli was nowhere near as dashing and debonair as he once was.

His white robes had long since turned into gray strips of cloth, and he no longer held the world-renowned "Water-Cold Sword," but rather... a large, bald broom.

What's most striking is his legs.

Below the knees, there was no longer flesh and blood, but two rough bronze prosthetics, some even hissing and steaming. Gears were exposed, and the connecting rods made a teeth-grinding grinding sound with his movements. His feet were two heavy iron plates that clattered as he stepped on the ground.

This is the "emergency surgery" that Su Ming performed on him a couple of days ago.

After all, he was an assassin, and it would be a shame to break his leg. Fortunately, Gongshu Chou had produced a pair of "failed" prosthetic limbs, so Su Ming casually fitted Gao Jianli with them and then sent him to sweep fallen leaves in the Imperial Garden, euphemistically calling it "labor reform."

"Hey, isn't this Lao Gao?"

Su Ming looked surprised and pointed to the broom in his hand, "Still working overtime so late? Have you finished sweeping the fallen leaves in the Imperial Garden? You have a very positive work attitude. I'll give you a chicken leg later."

"Shut up! You monster!"

Gao Jianli's eyes were bloodshot, almost bursting at the corners. He looked at the unconscious Snow Maiden on Su Ming's shoulder, her arms hanging limply at her sides, and his heart was breaking.

That was the woman he vowed to protect for the rest of his life!

Now, however, he's being carried around like a sack of potatoes by this sorcerer. You can imagine what filthy things will happen next!

"Let her go!"

Gao Jianli roared like a wild beast, "Whatever it is, come at me! Don't touch the Snow Woman!"

"Coming for you?"

Su Ming took a half-step back with disdain. "I'm not interested in grown men, especially cyborgs like you who are half-human and half-ghost. Besides, I'm just taking Yuki-onna to her new job, what's with all the excitement?"

"Join the company? You clearly want to..."

Gao Jianli didn't believe it at all. He roared, threw down his broom, and charged forward like a runaway cannonball.

"Get your dirty hands off her!"

"Sizzle sizzle—"

As he exerted his strength, the bronze prosthetic limbs suddenly emitted two streams of white steam, and the power instantly overloaded.

Gao Jianli's speed was astonishing, even faster than before his leg was broken! It was a pure, violent mechanical propulsion force!

But he clearly hasn't adapted to this power yet.

He had intended to execute a graceful "Yi Shui Han" footwork, but as his left leg stepped out, the hydraulic rod on his right leg suddenly jammed.

"Snap!"

"Huh? Huh? Huh?"

Halfway through his charge, Gao Jianli suddenly lost his balance. His upper body was still lurching forward, but his lower body was still standing still.

"Bang!"

A loud bang.

This tragic assassin, in an extremely comical manner, landed face-first on the ground, crashing heavily three feet in front of Su Ming.

A piece of the bluestone floor was broken by his iron chin.

Su Ming: "..."

The scene was very embarrassing.

Su Ming sighed and shook his head helplessly: "Old Gao, I told you, your new leg is still in the break-in period, and I told you not to do any strenuous exercise. You see, this is what they call 'taking too big a step, you might tear your balls'."

"I'm going to kill you..."

Gao Jianli lay on the ground, his hands gripping the cracks in the floor, trying to get up.

"Kill me? Forget it."

Su Ming raised his foot and stepped unceremoniously on Gao Jianli's still-smoking bronze calf, applying a little force.

"Buzz—"

The power core inside the prosthetic limb shut down instantly.

Gao Jianli felt a sudden weight on his lower body, as if a thousand-pound burden was pressing down on his legs, rendering him completely immobile.

"Look carefully, I'm saving you now."

Su Ming squatted down (carrying the Snow Maiden was a bit of a struggle), looked at Gao Jianli's face covered in dust and blood and tears, and his tone suddenly became serious, "Your attempt to assassinate the King of Qin was originally a capital offense punishable by the extermination of your entire clan. But I see that you two still have some use... oh no, some artistic talent, so I specially approved your 'labor reform'."

"The Snow Maiden's sonic powers are a natural 'mental soothing agent'."

Su Ming pointed to the beauty on his shoulder, "My zombie army, though physically tough, isn't very bright and is prone to irritability. The Snow Maiden's music can soothe the zombie energy and boost their combat power."

"Therefore, I plan to establish a 'Netherworld Qin Royal Zombie Dance Troupe'."

"The Snow Woman is the leader, and she's specifically responsible for playing tunes and giving buffs to the zombies."

"And you..." Su Ming looked Gao Jianli up and down, "Although you have difficulty walking, you were once a master of the zither. You will be the deputy head of the troupe, and also take on the role of the 'sweeper monk,' responsible for the logistics and sanitation of the dance troupe."

Gao Jianli was dumbfounded.

He stared blankly at Su Ming, his mind buzzing.

A song and dance troupe?

Playing music for zombies?

What kind of mush is in this sorcerer's brain?

"You...you won't humiliate us!" Gao Jianli gritted his teeth. "We'd rather die than submit!"

"Die? Dying is so easy."

Su Ming sneered and pulled out two crumpled pieces of parchment from his pocket. They were the "labor contracts" he had jotted down on the way.

"You can die if you want, but I hate wasting resources the most."

Su Ming's tone was sinister, "If you two die, I'll turn you into 'conjoined corpse puppets,' binding you together for eternity, and making you perform a two-person comedy routine for me every day."

"You..." Gao Jianli trembled with rage. This was simply a devil!

"Sign or not?"

Su Ming slapped the contract onto Gao Jianli's face. "Sign it, and you'll be a civil servant in Qin. Food and lodging included, five social insurances and one housing fund. It'll be tiring, but at least you'll be a living person. Don't sign it? Then you'll only be able to become that conjoined corpse puppet."

"Five social insurances...and one housing fund?"

Although Gao Jianli couldn't understand, the words "conjoined corpse puppets" were incredibly vivid. He glanced at the unconscious Snow Maiden, and his pride finally shattered in the face of cruel reality.

For the Snow Woman...

"I...I'll sign."

Gao Jianli trembled as he reached out and pressed his hand on the inkpad, then pressed his humiliating fingerprint onto the contract.

"That's more like it!"

Su Ming put away one contract with satisfaction, then grabbed Xue Nu's soft hand and pressed his fingerprint on another contract without saying a word.

"All done! Congratulations on your new jobs!"

Su Ming stood up, placed the Snow Maiden next to Gao Jianli, and dusted off his hands.

"Alright, she's yours now. Take her home to sober up... oh no, to get rid of the anesthesia. Tomorrow morning, bring your instrument to the drill ground. If you're late, your performance bonus will be deducted!"

Gao Jianli held the unconscious Xue Nu in his arms, staring at the contract in his hand filled with strange terms (such as: office romances are prohibited from affecting work, and he must play the flute for four hours every day), and fell into deep confusion.

How did he, a righteous man of the Yan Kingdom, end up as... the deputy head of a song and dance troupe?

Also, what exactly is this "housing provident fund"? Can you exchange it for alcohol?

Just as Gao Jianli was still questioning the meaning of life.

"Report—!!!"

A series of hurried footsteps came from afar.

A Black Iron Warrior (a zombie squad leader with sentience) responsible for guarding the palace gates came running, his every step shaking the ground.

"Imperial Preceptor, something terrible has happened!"

Although the zombie squad leader's voice was hoarse, his tone was filled with anxiety, "A woman... a very fierce woman has broken into the palace!"

"woman?"

Su Ming frowned. "Which country's princess is she this time? Didn't I say there's no need to report her? Just knock her out and throw her into that coffin-shaped dormitory."

"No... she's not a princess!"

The squad leader waved his hands repeatedly, pointing to the several gleaming silver needles stuck in his chest, and said with a pitiful expression:

"That woman is ruthless! She has no sportsmanship! She started by stabbing people with needles! And she specifically targeted acupuncture points!"

"Our corpse energy shield is useless against her; she can directly seal our corpse energy nodes!"

Su Ming was taken aback, then his eyes suddenly lit up.

Silver needles? Acupuncture point sealing?

Can you see through the meridians of a zombie?

That's professional!

"Who goes there?" Su Ming asked.

She called herself... Duanmu Rong!

"They said they're here to settle scores with you, and they even said they'd cut off your head and use it as a chamber pot!"

"Duanmu Rong? The Immortal Physician?"

Su Ming's mouth instantly stretched to his ears, his expression a hundred times more excited than when he had captured the Snow Woman, like a hungry wolf smelling the aroma of top-quality fresh meat.

"Great! That's wonderful!"

Su Ming slapped his thigh, turned around and ran out, not even caring about Gao Jianli and Xue Nu.

"My suturing team is desperately short of a lead surgeon! It's like a godsend!"

"Quick! Lead the way! Don't let her get away! She's a highly skilled professional, even more precious than a giant panda!"