Quick Transmigration: I Was Cannon Fodder But Became the White Moonlight

The love was real, and so was the hurt.

The dependence is real, and so is the suffocation.

Chen Su could feel the heavy, slow beating of the heart in the chest behind her, and she could also feel the muscles in the arms that were hugging her, from the initial tension to the gradual relaxation, but then silently tightening again at a certain point.

After a long while, Lu Yuze's voice rang out again, lower and deeper than before, with a rare and barely perceptible hoarseness.

Piercing through the quiet night, reaching straight to her ear:

"I……"

He paused, as if he was extremely unaccustomed to such an opening and needed to gather his strength.

"...I'm sorry, Su Su."

These words, uttered by him, carried the weight of a thousand pounds.

Chen Su's eyelashes trembled slightly, but she did not respond; she simply waited quietly.

"I can accept... that you came with ulterior motives from the start."

He paused, as if searching for the right words, "Even later, when I learned the truth, I wasn't surprised. This world itself is a calculation. Interests, weighing options, each getting what they need. I understand."

His arms tightened slightly, his voice lowered, revealing a deep-seated panic: "But what I can't accept is... that you solved the problem, got everything you wanted, and then left."

"I can't accept your departure, Susu. I..."

He paused for a rare moment, as if finally forced to admit a fact he had long been unwilling to face: "I'm scared."

"I'm afraid you'll appear and then suddenly disappear again, just like when you first appeared. I'm afraid that the warmth and closeness that I've grown accustomed to, even... dependent on, are just a performance that could end at any moment. I'm afraid that while you're looking at me, you're secretly plotting how to leave cleanly and decisively."

His voice grew softer and softer, almost a whisper in her ear, "That's why I want to hold on, to confirm, to know where you are every moment, what you're thinking, who you're with..."

Chen Su listened quietly, sensing the possessiveness in his words that stemmed from fear and was out of control.

It turns out that even someone as strong as Lu Yuze has such a vulnerable and insecure side.

This unease stems precisely from the fact that he cares.

She paused for a moment, then asked softly, "So, it's those potentially fabricated past events that make you uneasy, that make you want to hold on tighter, to fill that uncertainty with control, is that right?"

Lu Yu nuzzled against her neck, the movement small, but he nodded firmly.

An action that bordered on dependence appeared particularly abrupt when it came to him.

"But it's Lu Yuze."

Chen Su's voice was gentle. She patted his hands around her waist lightly, not pushing them away, but rather as a form of reassurance. "What you hold onto with fear and control is never love. It's just submission, surrender, or... planting a deeper seed that will give rise to a more resolute escape. Just like now."

Lu Yuze's body visibly stiffened.

He couldn't refute it.

The fact that she fled is the most powerful proof.

His control ultimately pushed her further away.

"We're like this..." Chen Su turned her head slightly. Although they could only see each other's blurry outlines in the deep darkness, she knew he was listening. "I live in constant fear during the day, and you sneak in at night. We distrust each other and torment each other... Is this twisted relationship really what you want?"

Lu Yu remained silent.

This is certainly not what he wants.

What he wanted was Chen Su, who would cling to him playfully, look at him with sparkling eyes, and sleep peacefully in his arms, openly and honestly by his side, sharing his days and nights, weathering storms together. She would show him her genuine smile and willingly stay.

Instead of the present situation, where one greedily draws warmth from the darkness, while the other lives in constant fear and anxiety like a frightened bird in the daytime.

This twisted tug-of-war consumes both sides and pushes the last vestiges of affection and possibility to the edge of a precipice.

A long silence spread through the darkness, but the previous tension was gone, replaced by a heavy, imminent stalemate that needed to be broken.

In the end, Lu Yuze spoke in a hoarse voice, revealing the compromise and exploration that lay beneath the veneer of control.

"So... what do you want, Su Su?"

It is no longer an order, no longer a threat.

For the first time in this fundamental confrontation, he handed her a portion of the choice.

Chen Su sensed the subtle yet crucial change in his tone, and the string in her heart, which had been stretched to its limit, finally loosened slightly.

She knew this was an opportunity, perhaps the only chance to break this deadlock.

She took a deep breath, carefully choosing her words, her voice soft yet firm:

"I want... for us to be able to establish the most basic trust and respect."

"I promise you, from now on, I will no longer deliberately hide anything from you or deceive you. I am willing to tell you honestly about my past, my anxieties, and my thoughts, as long as you want to know."

She paused, then stated her conditions, "But you also need to promise me that you'll give me the space and freedom I deserve. Stop interrogating me about every little thing I do when I go out, stop monitoring my communications and daily life, and let me be able to... have a normal social life, make friends, and make my own decisions about trivial matters, just like an independent person. I'm not your appendage, Lu Yuzhe. I want to be myself while loving you."

After she finished speaking, she held her breath and waited for his reaction.

In the darkness, Lu Yuze's breathing could be clearly heard.

He seemed to be struggling, weighing his options.

After a long silence, he finally spoke, his voice low and deep:

"it is good."

"I promise you, Su Su."

But he immediately followed up with his own request, his tone regaining its usual calmness, but it was no longer a one-way command; it was more like an equal agreement: "In return, you must stay by my side. In public, you are my fiancée; in private… you are mine. If anything happens, or you feel uneasy, tell me immediately, instead of thinking of running away alone."

"Your future plans must include me."

"...If you feel suffocated by me again, tell me. We can talk. Like...right now."

Chen Su sensed the concession in his words, as well as the still assertive yet attempt to define a reasonable scope of possession.

This may be the best balance they can achieve at the moment.

She turned around and finally faced him in the dim light.

Chen Su blinked.

"I won't lie to you, and I won't disappear without permission. If there's something to discuss, let's talk."

"This isn't a deal, Lu Yuze," she said softly. "It's an agreement between us. An agreement based on mutual honesty and respect."

"If you break your promise and monitor or restrict me in any way, then everything we have today is null and void. I will leave, in any way I can think of, and I will never look back."

This is a warning, and also a bottom line.

Lu Yu looked at her intently, his light-colored eyes swirling with complex and unfathomable emotions in the dim light.

"Mmm," he responded heavily, pulling her back into his arms.

Chen Su closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to nestle into this familiar embrace, his cool, refreshing scent filling her nostrils.

Exhaustion washed over me like a tide, but this time, there was no fear in my exhaustion.

"Go to sleep," she whispered, her voice heavy with weariness. "It's almost dawn."

"Mmm," Lu Yu replied, adjusting his arm to a more comfortable position that could fully accommodate her, keeping her neatly within his breathing range.

This time, he no longer had to rush off before dawn.

Outside the window, the skyline of S City gradually blurred into a pale gray, turning into a soft, fish-belly white as the first rays of dawn slowly appeared.

The long and cold night seemed to have finally passed with difficulty, amidst a dialogue interwoven with candor and probing.

A new dawn, carrying an unknown temperature, quietly descends.