Huang Rong from The Return of the Condor Heroes: Brother Jing, let's get a divorce.

Ancient tomb, stone chamber.

The wick burned to its last flame. The dim yellow light flickered twice before going out. Darkness engulfed the stone chamber.

Little Dragon Girl sat upright by the cold jade bed, her back ramrod straight, like a finely carved white jade Guanyin.

But tonight's Guanyin statue is tainted with worldly dust.

She usually went about her day without makeup, but tonight she unusually applied a touch of cinnabar between her eyebrows, which added a touch of bewitching majesty to her otherwise aloof and ethereal face.

Her long, flowing black hair was tied up high with a gold hairpin, revealing her slender and graceful swan neck.

He casually toyed with a willow twig in his hand—this was the instrument of torture that Yang Guo had specifically instructed him to prepare before leaving.

"Teacher Long, you are the Empress, and I am a little eunuch who has made a mistake."

The little rascal's wicked grin as he left was still vivid in my mind: "The little eunuch was caught peeping at the Empress bathing. The Empress is going to punish him severely—by stomping on him…by whipping him. Don't hold back…"

Little Dragon Girl looked down at her toes.

To prepare for the role, she specially changed into those soft-soled shoes and even rehearsed countless times in her mind what kind of look to give him contempt, how cold her tone should be to make him kneel down, and whether she should use her toes to lift that bastard's chin.

She even thought of her lines.

"You audacious lackey, who gave you the courage to look me in the eye?"

Thinking of this, Xiaolongnu's cheeks flushed slightly.

This little rascal, his head is always filled with all sorts of ridiculous stories from novels.

but……

Xiaolongnu tilted her head slightly, her gaze falling on the tightly closed stone door of the stone chamber.

too long.

Based on Yang Guo's pace, it would take him no more than two hours to go to the town at the foot of the mountain to buy some "sexy bellybands" and "rouge and face powder".

Now, the water on the water clock has dripped down to the last segment.

It was already late at night outside.

"Guo'er..."

Little Dragon Girl called out softly.

The sound echoed in the empty tomb, but no one answered.

Usually by this time, that kid would have already barged in, shouting "Sister Long, I miss you so much!" or trying to make her laugh by telling her dirty jokes.

He would never make her wait that long.

Little Dragon Girl put down the willow branch in her hand.

Not right.

She stood up and walked around the stone chamber twice.

The white skirt trailed on the ground, making a rustling sound.

"Did you get so engrossed in playing that you forgot the time?"

She nipped the idea in the bud as soon as it crossed her mind. Although Yang Guo was impulsive, he was always punctual for such matters, especially these past few days when the two of them were deeply in love. He was more eager than anyone to return to "receive his punishment."

Did we encounter a wild beast?

Although tigers and wolves roam Zhongnan Mountain, with Yang Guo's current martial arts skills, ordinary wild animals simply cannot get close to him.

Unless... it's a human.

Little Dragon Girl stopped in her tracks. Her face instantly turned cold.

Quanzhen Sect.

During this time, those stinky Taoist priests caused a lot of trouble.

The fat, big-eared Lu Qingdu bullied Yang Guo many times; the treacherous Zhao Zhijing even went so far as to beat Yang Guo so badly that he vomited blood during the competition in the back mountain.

And then there's Yin Zhiping, who had ulterior motives and almost took her virginity...

If Yang Guo were to run into them at the foot of the mountain...

"Click."

The willow branch in Xiaolongnu's hand was snapped in two by her.

Empress, eunuch, role-playing—all of that was thrown to the winds.

At this moment, only one image remained in her mind—Yang Guo, covered in blood, lying in a pool of blood being bullied.

"court death."

The two words were squeezed out between her teeth, carrying a chilling intent.

She turned and walked to the wall, taking down the lady's sword that she hadn't used in a long time.

"Clang!"

The longsword was drawn half an inch from its sheath, its cold light illuminating the crimson cinnabar mark between her brows.

The makeup, originally intended to be flirtatious, now looks like a deadly curse.

……

Cave.

The morning light is dim.

Yang Guo felt as if he were sleeping on a huge, soft cushion. It was so soft. It smelled wonderful. It was also so warm. This ultimate comfort made him not want to open his eyes. He burrowed even deeper into the source of warmth.

A soft groan brushed against his cheek. The familiar scent of crabapple blossoms lingered around his nose. It was Li Mochou's scent. "Hmm..." A muffled groan, barely suppressed, came from above his head.

Yang Guo groggily opened his eyes. What he saw was a disheveled, peach-pink robe. Above that was a snow-white neck. And a beautifully shaped chin. That chin was taut.

Yang Guo moved his head. He realized his position was extremely awkward. He was stuck between two peaks. His hands were tightly wrapped around her slender waist. His thighs were pressing down on her legs. He had the Red Serpent Fairy locked up completely.

"Awake?" Li Mochou's voice came from above. It was cold. It was a voice that was forcibly suppressing extreme shame and indignation.

Yang Guo blinked. He didn't let go; instead, he buried his face even deeper. He took a deep breath. "Good morning, wife." He had just woken up, his tone languid. "This sleep was much better than the Jade Bed. It's so warm in my wife's arms."

"Yang Guo!" Li Mochou could no longer contain herself. She wanted to push this little rascal away. Her hand barely touched his shoulder before she pulled it back. That was the spot where he had been stabbed last night while saving her. The bleeding had stopped, but the wound was still gruesome.

"Get up if you're awake!" Li Mochou gritted her teeth, her pretty face flushed red. "How long are you planning to stay on me?"

Yang Guo raised his head, resting his chin on her chest. He looked at Li Mochou pitifully. "Wife, I can't move."

"I remember now. But look, I've been cold and in pain all night, and I've only survived thanks to your warmth. I'm sore all over now, and I have no strength at all." Yang Guo twitched his lips twice in agreement, looking like he was about to collapse.

Li Mochou looked at that energetic face. She was so angry she wanted to laugh. No strength? If she had no strength, why were her hands so tightly bound?

"Don't play dumb with me," Li Mochou sneered. "Yang Guo, don't think you can do whatever you want just because you saved me yesterday. Let me tell you, I'll remember this. Once my pressure points are released, the first thing I'll do is gouge out your eyes!"

"Go ahead and dig," Yang Guo said nonchalantly, pressing his face back against hers. He found a more comfortable angle. "To die beneath the peony blossoms, even as a ghost, is romantic. To die in my wife's arms is a blessing."

"You..." Li Mochou was speechless. Faced with such a shameless rogue with skin thicker than a city wall, her logic of shouting for a beating and killing completely failed.

Even more devastating was that after a night of embracing for warmth, she found herself accustomed to this intimate contact. Her body was no longer stiff. When Yang Guo cried out in cold, she would instinctively hug him tighter. This realization terrified Li Mochou. She was the Red Serpent Fairy. She had vowed to kill all the unfaithful men in the world. She would never trust men again in her life. How had she fallen for this cunning little devil?

"Get out of my way." Li Mochou took a deep breath. Her tone softened. "My legs are numb."

Yang Guo finally moved. He propped himself up from Li Mochou's body. The movement was large, aggravating his wounds and causing him to grimace in pain.

"Hiss—" Yang Guo gasped. He rubbed his shoulder and sat down to the side. "Those two Taoist priests were really ruthless. They almost broke my arm."

Li Mochou stared at the blood-soaked gauze, her expression complex. "Serves you right," she muttered, straightening her disheveled clothes. Her words remained sharp. "Who told you to play the hero? If you had pretended to be dead in that situation, you might have escaped."

"That won't do." Yang Guo leaned against the rock wall. He looked at Li Mochou, who was fixing her hair. His tone suddenly became serious. "You are my woman."

"Although you're a bit fierce. Although you're a bit vicious. Although you're always thinking about killing me, in my heart, Yang Guo, since we've slept together and sealed the deal, you're my property. No one but me can bully you."

"Don't even mention those two third-generation disciples. Even if Wang Chongyang jumped out of his coffin and wanted to do something to you, he'd have to ask me for permission first."

The boy's words carried a bandit-like air, but they resonated deeply with Li Mochou. Her hand, which was adjusting her hair, froze in mid-air. Her eyes welled slightly. Aside from Lu Zhanyuan's sweet words back then, no one had ever spoken to her like this. And Yang Guo had lived up to those words with his life.

Li Mochou turned her head away. She didn't dare look at Yang Guo's face. "Smooth talker," she muttered under her breath. "I wonder where you learned all these tricks on women."

"A natural talent, that's all," Yang Guo chuckled. He was about to tease him a bit more when his stomach growled at an inopportune moment.

Heavy footsteps suddenly echoed from the cave entrance. "Son! My dear son, are you awake yet?!"

Ouyang Feng's booming voice sent dust flying. The old madman carried two plucked, bloodied pheasants in one hand and a large, dripping bag of something oily in the other. "Dad got you something good to eat!"

Ouyang Feng rushed in like a gust of wind, and presented the package to Yang Guo as if it were a treasure.

Yang Guo looked closely.

Good guy.

It was all pig's trotters, roast chicken, and braised beef.

Judging from the cooking techniques and the taste of the seasonings, it is clearly food from the Chongyang Palace kitchen!

"This..." Yang Guo's lips twitched. "Father, where did you get your supplies?"

Ouyang Feng stuffed a large pig's trotter into his mouth, chewing it up and down with a crunching sound, and mumbled, "I went to that bunch of Taoist priests' den. I was planning to kill a few people to liven things up, but those bastards ran faster than rabbits and all hid in that so-called main hall and wouldn't come out."

"Dad found it too troublesome and was too lazy to break the tortoise shell formation, so he just went to their kitchen for a stroll."

At this point, Ouyang Feng revealed an extremely sinister and smug grin.

He leaned close to Yang Guo's ear, and although he lowered his voice, Li Mochou could still hear him clearly.

"Son, your father took more than just food."

"Dad added some seasoning to their water tank, well, and flour jars."

Yang Guo was taken aback: "Seasonings? What seasonings?"

Ouyang Feng pulled an empty bottle from his pocket, shook it, and laughed like a 300-pound child.

"Of course, it's my special 'happy powder'!"

"After eating it, vomiting and diarrhea are the least of your worries. The most important thing is that it will cause hallucinations, making you see even sows as Diao Chan and your fellow disciples as your father's killer."

"Hehehe, let's just wait and see what happens. Tonight, Chongyang Palace will be even more lively than during the New Year!"

Yang Guo felt a chill run down his spine.

This old man...

What a genius at causing trouble!

The Taoist priests of the Quanzhen School have always touted themselves as being pure of heart and free from desires. If they were to take this medicine, they might stage a scene of "fellow disciples loving and killing each other" or "passionately facing a pillar" in the main hall in front of the Three Pure Ones...

The scene was too beautiful for Yang Guo to even imagine.

but……

Well done!

Yang Guo took the pig's trotter handed to him by Ouyang Feng and took a big bite.

"Dad, you're so talented!"

"That's right!" Ouyang Feng said smugly. "By the way, that little bastard named Zhao Zhijing was the fastest runner. But Father didn't let him off the hook either."

A ruthless glint flashed in Ouyang Feng's eyes.

"I couldn't catch him, so I left a small gift in his room."

"I stuffed those leftover poisonous snakes you ate yesterday into his bed. Those snakes love to burrow into warm places, hehe... so he won't be restless in his sleep..."

Li Mochou, who had been listening silently the whole time, couldn't help but shiver.

She looked at the old man and the young man.

The old man is insane, vicious, and has no moral bottom line.

The little one is a cunning rogue, full of evil intentions.

The combination of these two is nothing short of a catastrophe for the martial arts world.

But I don't know why.

Watching Yang Guo gnaw on a pig's trotter with his mouth dripping with oil, Li Mochou felt a strange sense of security.

At least.

This scoundrel is on her side.

"Honey, don't just stand there, have a bite."

Yang Guo tore off a chicken leg and held it to Li Mochou's mouth, saying, "Have some nourishing food; we still need to practice tonight."

Li Mochou looked at the greasy chicken leg and instinctively wanted to refuse.

But my stomach also gave a honest growl.

Her face flushed, she opened her cherry-like mouth and gently took a bite of chicken next to Yang Guo's fingers.

that moment.

The Red Serpent Fairy's composure shattered completely.

And at this very moment.

Xiaolongnü, who was frantically searching for Yang Guo in the ancient tomb, was standing on the edge of the forbidden area behind the Quanzhen Sect's mountain.

She looked at the smoke rising from the direction of Chongyang Palace in the distance, and at the faint sounds of noise coming from there.

The aura around him instantly turned cold.

"The Quanzhen Sect..."

"If even a single hair on Yang Guo'er's head is harmed, I will tear down your Chongyang Palace!"