Deposed? I couldn't be happier! I wouldn't even be a dog to the crown prince.

"Needle therapy? You wish."

Li Chengqian rolled his eyes dramatically, looking at him like an old man trying to commit insurance fraud. He casually rummaged through the silver-white first-aid kit, pulled out a dark, unpackaged plaster that reeked of strong Chinese medicine, and slapped it directly into Li Shimin's palm.

"This is called 'Lao Yao De Jin Tie' (Old Waist Relief Patch), which is specially designed to treat various types of lumbar muscle strain, kidney deficiency... cough, anyway, it's just lower back pain."

"Go back and apply it, and you'll be fine after a good night's sleep. These hands of mine are for saving lives, not for you to be a massage therapist."

After saying that, he shoved the box into Xu Xiao's arms, yawned, and walked away without looking back.

"Let's go, Lao Xu. Go back and catch up on your sleep. Don't call me tonight. If the sky falls, let the tall guy hold it up."

Li Shimin held the warm plaster in his hand, standing in the drafty air at the entrance of the side hall, bewildered for a long time.

"The traitor..."

"I am the emperor! What's wrong with letting you give me a couple of acupuncture needles? How did that make you a massage therapist?"

Despite grumbling, he carefully tucked the plaster into his pocket. After all, whatever this unfilial son brought out, though its name was a bit rustic, was always incredibly effective.

……

In the stillness of the night, at the Ganlu Palace.

The enormous palace lanterns illuminated the imperial study as if it were daytime, and the memorials on the desk were piled up like mountains, but Li Shimin did not read a single one.

He dismissed all the palace maids and eunuchs, and leaned alone against the soft couch. The dark plaster was stuck to his waist, and a hot, burning sensation was coursing through his limbs and bones. The soreness and heaviness were actually slowly dissipating.

"call……"

Li Shimin let out a long sigh of relief, feeling more relaxed than ever before.

He casually picked up a battle report from the table, which was about the aftermath of the suppression of the rebellion in Youzhou; then he picked up a memorial from the Ministry of Revenue, which was about the promotion of potatoes and the monopoly of fine salt; finally, his gaze fell on the record from the Imperial Medical Bureau about Qin Qiong's physical recovery.

As he watched, the expression on the face of the Tang emperor became somewhat strange.

He put down the memorial, counted on his fingers, and began to do the accounting.

"We're out of money. That rebellious son just ransacked a few houses, and the national treasury is full."

"We're out of food. That rebellious son dug a hole in the Imperial Garden, and the potatoes are cooked."

"Li Yuan has rebelled. I was just worried about not having enough soldiers. This rebellious son sent a servant who wiped out an army of 100,000 in half an hour."

"The Turks are here. I was prepared to suffer humiliation at the Wei River, but this rebellious son led three thousand cavalrymen and scared Jieli to death."

"Even when Uncle Bao was on his deathbed, and I was preparing to mourn him, this rebellious son pulled out a box and snatched him back from the clutches of the King of Hell."

In the end, Li Shimin's hand froze in mid-air, his mouth twitching wildly.

He suddenly discovered a very embarrassing and terrifying fact.

In the past few months, this emperor seems to have done nothing of substance except for getting angry, anxious, complaining about being poor, being shocked, and shouting "666" on the sidelines.

All those earth-shattering crises that had driven him to despair and even made him think the Tang Dynasty was doomed were easily resolved by his eight-year-old son, who was always clamoring to retire and become a couch potato.

"Am I... a bit superfluous?"

Li Shimin touched his face, a deep sense of self-doubt washing over him.

Back in the day, he was a general of unparalleled military prowess, a commander who commanded armies and conquered vast territories! How come after becoming emperor, he ended up as nothing more than a mere accessory to his son?

This feeling is very frustrating.

Really.

But... it was fucking awesome!

Li Shimin lay down on the soft couch, changing to a more comfortable position, and made sure the plaster on his waist was applied more tightly.

In the past, every time he opened his eyes, all he could think about was money, provisions, troops, and urgent reports from the border, which worried him so much that he lost clumps of hair.

But now?

If the sky falls, your son will hold it up; if you're short of money, borrow from your son (though you might not be able to get it); if someone rebels, have your son suppress them.

All he had to do was sit on the dragon throne, maintain his dignity, nod after his son finished showing off, say "I am very pleased," and then enjoy the worship of the people.

I wouldn't trade this life for a god!

"hey-hey……"

A slightly lewd chuckle suddenly broke the silence of the imperial study.

Li Shimin crossed his legs, looked at the carved beam above his head, and his eyes gleamed with a kind of "laid-back" light.

"No wonder that unfilial son always wanted to be a salted fish; so this is what it feels like to be a salted fish."

"It smells so good."

"Since this kid is so capable, perhaps I could... take a break from now on?"

"For example, should we also assign him the task of approving memorials?"

The more Li Shimin thought about it, the more feasible it seemed.

Anyway, you earned this position as regent through your own abilities, so it's only right that you do more work, right?

"Okay, it's settled then."

Li Shimin was in a good mood and turned over to prepare for bed.

He had just closed his eyes when he suddenly sat up again and slapped his forehead.

"No, clear rewards and punishments are the way of an emperor."

"This rebellious son has performed so many merits, and it seems I... haven't given him any proper reward yet?"

Money? He has more money than the national treasury.

An official position? He's already the Crown Prince and regent; the next step is to become the Emperor.

A woman? She's only eight years old; he wouldn't be able to use her anyway.

Li Shimin scratched his head, realizing that he couldn't offer anything to sway his rebellious son.

"Fine, since he enjoys being a lazy bum, then I'll reward him... with more work."

"This is called 'the capable should do more,' it's the greatest trust we can place in him!"

Li Shimin comforted himself with a word of self-consolation, blew out the candle with a clear conscience, and fell into a deep sleep with a strange smile on his face.

……

Meanwhile, in the Eastern Palace, at the Lizheng Hall.

Li Chengqian was lying sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep.

In his dream, he was sunbathing on the beach, holding an iced cola in his left hand and a skewer of grilled meat in his right. A group of Persian dancers were dancing in front of him. He was living a wonderful life.

Just then.

"bite--!"

A crisp, mechanical notification sound, like an emotionless alarm clock, exploded deep within his mind, instantly shattering his beautiful dream into dust.

【Congratulations to the host! 】

Li Chengqian woke up with a start, his face full of morning grumpiness. Still half asleep, he mumbled, "Who? Who's making noise? Believe me or not, I'll have Bai Qi bury you alive!"

[System notification: Given the host's perfect performance in the first phase.]

[Internally, he focused on governing the country (potatoes, fine salt); externally, he repelled barbarian invasions (the Wei River, Youzhou); he recruited renowned generals (Yue Fei, Bai Qi, Qin Qiong); and successfully cultivated Emperor Li Shimin into a rudimentary "hands-off" ruler.]

[Main Quest: First Experience with Salted Fish - Perfectly Completed!]

[Rating: S-grade! You're not just a salted fish, you're a diamond-encrusted, top-quality salted fish that can flip itself up and sing!]

Li Chengqian rubbed his eyes, and his lips twitched as he listened to the unserious system evaluation.

"So? Is there a reward? If not, don't disturb my sleep."

[Rewards being processed...]

The system is currently undergoing a version update... Update progress 1%... 50%... 99%...

[Ding! System upgrade complete!]

[New map unlocked: The road to global domination!]

[New Mission Issued: The Tang Dynasty's Journey is to the Stars and the Sea! While maintaining your "carefree" persona, please lead the Tang Dynasty out of Asia and onto the world stage!]

[Phase 1: That neighbor called Goguryeo is too noisy and likes to build mounds of dead heads. It's recommended that the host teach them a lesson.]

[Preview of Phase Rewards: Steam engine blueprint fragments, Age of Exploration nautical charts, and... a mysterious clue to "immortality."]

Li Chengqian's eyelids, which had been drooping, suddenly lifted when he heard the words "Goguryeo" and "Jingguan".

In that instant, all sleepiness vanished from his eyes.

Instead, a cold glint, even deeper than the night, appeared.

"Goguryeo..."

He murmured the name softly, his fingers tapping lightly on the edge of the bed.

"A mound of bones?"

"Looks like I won't be able to sleep soundly."

"Since you like to pile up heads, then I will give you an even bigger one."

Li Chengqian turned over, looked at the bright moon outside the window, and a cruel smile curled at the corner of his mouth.

"System, accept order."

"I'll take this job."