Deposed? I couldn't be happier! I wouldn't even be a dog to the crown prince.

Thick smoke was billowing out from inside the walls of the East Palace.

The smoke wasn't black, but rather bluish-white. Even before he got close, a strong aroma of cumin, chili powder, and charred mutton fat wafted into Li Shimin's nostrils. The smell was so familiar; it was practically a "dry-fried" version of the hotpot he'd had a few days ago.

Li Shimin's hurried steps faltered slightly, and the muscles on his face twitched involuntarily.

What time is it?

The Youzhou rebellion has brought an army of 100,000 to the border, and the northern gate of the Tang Dynasty is about to be kicked open. How could this rebellious son still have the mood to set fire to the palace?

"Your Majesty, this...this smells like barbecue?" Wang De, following behind, swallowed and whispered a reminder.

"I know!"

Li Shimin, his face dark, flicked his sleeves and strode into the courtyard of Lizheng Hall. "I want to see what he's up to!"

As soon as you enter the courtyard, a scene of "chaotic chaos" comes into view.

In the center of the courtyard stood a long, rectangular iron stove, the charcoal inside burning brightly. Amidst the smoke and flames, two figures, one tall and one short, were bent over, busily working around the stove.

The larger one was naturally Li Chengqian. He held a skewer of meat made of red willow branches in his hand, turning it over with practiced ease, and occasionally sprinkling some unknown powder on it.

The smaller one was none other than Li Tai, the Prince of Wei.

The chubby boy's face was covered in soot, making him look like he had just crawled out of a coal mine. He clumsily held up two strings of black things and looked at his older brother with admiration.

"Qingque, don't let your hand shake! Flip it! It'll burn if you don't flip it now!"

While giving instructions, Li Chengqian scolded him with exasperation, "The key to roasting lamb kidneys is a crispy exterior and tender interior! You've roasted them to a crispy exterior and they're practically charcoal! Even a dog wouldn't eat them!"

"Big brother, the fire is too big, it's burning my eyes!" Li Tai wiped his face with a pitiful expression, but the more he wiped, the darker it became.

"Smoked? If you want to eat well, you have to be able to stand the smoke! That's called the 'smoky flavor,' understand?"

Li Chengqian rolled his eyes. Just as he was about to impart a few more words of "barbecue techniques," he caught a glimpse of a brightly lit figure standing at the door.

He paused for a moment, then casually tossed the grilled meat skewers onto the plate.

"Oh, what a rare guest!"

Li Chengqian clapped the seasoning powder off his hands and greeted them lazily, "Father, what brings you to the East Palace today? Have you eaten? If not, how about a couple of skewers?"

Li Shimin looked at his two sons, who were covered in cooking fumes, and was especially furious to see that his most beloved son, Qingque, had also been corrupted to this state.

But he remembered the important matter at hand, suppressed his anger, and walked over with a stern face.

"Eat? All you ever think about is eating!"

Li Shimin kicked aside the small stool blocking his way, pointed north, and roared, "Youzhou has rebelled! That bastard Li Yuan, with an army of 100,000, is coming to kill you under the banner of 'purging the court of corrupt officials'! And you still have the mind to grill... grill kidneys here?!"

Upon hearing the word "rebellion," Li Tai was so frightened that his hand trembled, and the freshly grilled meat skewers fell into the charcoal fire with a "thud," sparking a burst of sparks.

"Rebel...rebel?" The chubby boy's face turned pale, and he instinctively tried to hide behind his older brother.

Li Chengqian seemed not to hear, looking at the meat that had fallen into the fire with heartache, and smacked his lips.

"What a pity, this skewer was cooked just right."

He slowly picked up a damp towel and wiped his hands before raising his eyelids, glancing at Li Shimin casually, and letting out a long yawn.

"yawn--"

"this one?"

Li Shimin was stunned; his anxiety felt like he had bumped into a wall of cotton.

"What do you mean 'just this'? That's an army of 100,000! That's Youzhou! If they march south, the land of Hebei will be devastated!"

Li Shimin was so anxious that he slapped his thigh repeatedly, spitting as he spoke. "The court's military strength is currently depleted. The main force is all in the north defending against the Turks. I have no troops to send! Do you know how serious this situation is?!"

"Father, do you seem to have some misunderstanding about the word 'serious'?"

Li Chengqian pursed his lips, picked up another skewer of meat, and slowly swayed it over the charcoal fire.

"When Jieli's 200,000 cavalrymen reached the Wei River, that was a serious matter."

"The five surnames and seven clans cut off the city's salt and grain supplies, that's a serious situation."

"Li Yuan? A good-for-nothing who lives off his family's wealth, leading a bunch of rabble, shouting slogans thousands of miles away—and you call that serious?"

He rolled his eyes, his tone full of disdain.

"Is such a trivial matter worth your personal trip? As an emperor, you seem rather unsophisticated."

"you--!"

Li Shimin felt a tightness in his chest from being choked, and his finger pointing at Li Chengqian was trembling.

That unfilial son!

Is this even human language?

A rebellion of 100,000 men was described as "trivial matters" in his mouth?

"That's rebellion! It will shake the very foundation of the nation!" Li Shimin roared. "Do you think war is child's play? If Youzhou falls, half of the Tang Dynasty will be in turmoil!"

"That only proves you're too weak."

Li Chengqian retorted without hesitation, and casually stuffed a skewer of grilled mutton into Li Tai's mouth, silencing the little fat boy who was about to cry.

"If it were the mighty Han Dynasty, Chen Tang would dare to say, 'Those who offend the mighty Han Dynasty, though far away, shall be punished.' If it were the prosperous Tang Dynasty... oh right, it's not the prosperous Tang Dynasty yet."

Li Chengqian shrugged, looking completely indifferent.

"Alright, alright, stop exaggerating. So what if no one's going to make the call? It's no big deal. Look how worried you are, you've even gotten two more wrinkles."

Li Shimin took a deep breath, trying his best not to be so angry that he died.

He realized that lecturing this kid was pointless.

"Do you have a solution?"

Li Shimin stared at Li Chengqian, his gaze complex. "I know you have the Great Snow Dragon Cavalry and that Beiwei Army. But Youzhou is far away, and its cities are fortified; cavalry is not their forte for attacking cities. You..."

"Who said I was going to send out the Great Snow Dragon Riders?"

Li Chengqian interrupted him, looking at him like he was an idiot. "That's my precious darling, there to guard the house. Running all that way to fight a useless prince, who's going to pay for the worn-out horseshoes? Are you going to reimburse me?"

"So what are you planning to do? Do you think you can talk Li Yuan to death with just your words?"

Li Shimin laughed in exasperation, "If you really have that ability, then I'll let you sit on this throne!"

"No! Please don't!"

Li Chengqian waved his hands repeatedly in fright, as if he had heard some terrifying story. "I just want to be a carefree crown prince who does nothing but eat and wait to die. You should keep the throne to yourself and suffer the hardship of this job."

Just then, the long-lost system notification sound suddenly rang in his mind.

【Ding! 】

[The host is facing the "Lujiang King's Rebellion" event, triggering a side quest: Suppress the internal strife.]

Please make a choice, host:

Option 1: Diligent in governance and devoted to the people. As the Crown Prince regent, he should share the burdens of his father and the emperor. He should personally lead the army to quell the rebellion, demonstrating the qualities of a crown prince.

[Rewards: Diligence Points +1000, Tang Dynasty Reputation +5000, Title "Tang Dynasty Model Worker", and a set of "Devil Training Methods" as a bonus.]

Option Two: The Ultimate Salted Fish. Why should I personally deal with such a petty thief? Just send someone to dig him up.

[Reward: Salted Fish Value +1000, one Divine General Summoning Card (only for combat-type generals), plus a case of "Happy Water".]

Li Chengqian shuddered as he looked at the title "Model Worker of the Tang Dynasty".

Are you kidding me?

Personally lead the expedition? Enduring wind and rain, and having to ride a horse to chafe your thighs—I'd have to be crazy to choose that!

And what the heck is this "diligence stat"? Do I look like someone who lacks diligence? I'm just lacking in happiness!

"System, I choose option two!"

Without hesitation, Li Chengqian made his choice in his mind, "Get some men! Make them ruthless! The ruthless the better, ideally enough to scare those rebels so badly they wet their pants!"

[Ding! Selection successful.]

[Congratulations, host! You have obtained the legendary killing god—Bai Qi!]

[Implanted Identity: Leader of the Crown Prince's Secret Guard, who voluntarily joined the service due to admiration for the Crown Prince's "talent."]

[Note: The God of Slaughter has been unleashed, leaving nothing but desolation. This person exudes an overwhelming aura of killing intent; please use with extreme caution.]

White up!

Li Chengqian's eyes lit up instantly, and even the meat skewers in his hand no longer tasted good.

This guy is a butcher!

The ruthless man who massacred 400,000 surrendered soldiers of the Zhao state!

Sending him to quell a rebellion? That's like using a nuclear bomb to kill a mosquito—a huge waste of his talent!

But... it felt so good!

"Chengqian? Chengqian?"

Seeing his son suddenly freeze in thought, a chilling smirk creeping across his face, Li Shimin's heart skipped a beat. "What mischief are you up to now?"

"It's nothing."

Li Chengqian snapped out of his daze, stuffed the remaining half-skewer of meat into his mouth, chewed it haphazardly a couple of times, and swallowed it.

He clapped his hands, stood up, and his nonchalant demeanor vanished abruptly, replaced by an indifferent air of control over life and death.

"Father, aren't you short of manpower?"

Li Chengqian gently snapped his fingers at the darkest shadow in the corner of the Eastern Palace.

"Perfect timing. I recently hired a new servant to guard the house. He has a bad temper, but he's quite capable."

"Since you're so worried, let him make a trip to Youzhou, and while he's at it..."

A cruel smile curled at the corner of Li Chengqian's lips.

"Let's practice."